One month later…
I’M STARING UP at the ceiling with my entire life in my arms. Hannah is on one side of me with our son sleeping between us. Toto is curled up against my side with her small arm slung across my middle. Everyone is asleep. It’s been a few weeks since we came back from our “vacation” where we ended that sicko. And it’s as if my entire little family knows our world is about to dramatically shift. We all cling together in these moments.
It fucking kills me.
My heart breaks for them.
Their mother is dangerous. I’d hoped the trip would sort her out. If anything, it only made her more blood thirsty. The feral look in her eyes—that same manic one from the shipping container—hasn’t dissipated. I can’t leave her alone with the children. I’m scared to fucking death I’m going to wake up to another bloodbath, but this one will steal my soul.
I reach over and stroke her hair. So soft and silky. How can I ever let her go? Truth is, I can’t. But I have to fix this. Everyone in my family is relying on me.
Thank God I have Ren on my side.
He’s been helping me plan.
Tomorrow night, on the eve of his wedding to my daughter, is when we will carry it out. Hannah can’t go to the wedding anyway because my Brie loathes her. It has to be done then.
Land stirs, so I scoop him up and lay him across my chest. I stroke his dark hair before kissing the top of his head. Babies have made me soft. Ever since Brie came into my life, I’ve become weaker. My children have made me this way. Love makes you weak. So fucking weak. But, fuck, if I don’t like being weak from it.
Hannah lifts her hand and strokes our son’s back before whispering. “He’s so cute.”
I smile and turn to see her eyes softer than usual. The darkness is gone as love shines through. I wish to hell I knew how to keep that look in her eyes.
“Because he looks like me,” I tell her in a smug tone.
She laughs, which makes Land jump but not wake up. “Sometimes I wish you wouldn’t have gotten fixed. We could have more.”
My chest aches. I’d love to have more children. But the fact is, we can’t. Not with her mental health situation. We’ve tried every drug imaginable. There is no bringing light to her darkness. It’s just who she is. War is still in denial, but I’ve come to peace with it. There’s no fixing her, unfortunately.
Death is the only way out of her darkness.
“Come on,” I tell her, changing the subject. “Let’s take the kids to the beach today. One last family day.”
She tenses. “One last family day?”
“Before all this wedding stuff takes over our lives starting this evening. Toto has to try on her flower girl dress. I have to pick up my tux. Brie wants me to come see the babies and have dinner with them before the rehearsal. Just a lot going on,” I tell her softly.
“I wish Ren would just get over it and let me come,” she huffs.
“It’s not Ren who has the problem, baby.”
“It was an accident.” Her response to killing Alejandra is always the same. But since it isn’t true, nobody believes her. Especially not Brie.
“I know,” I lie, indulging her. “They’ll come around eventually and I’ll make sure to get pictures for you.”
Satisfied, she curls against me and kisses my cheek. “Let’s sleep for a little while longer. The beach will wait for us.”
Toto squeals as Hannah chases her along the shore. Land sleeps sprawled next to me on our blanket under the umbrella. My attention never leaves my girls. All it would take is one second. My phone buzzes, and I quickly read the message.
Ren: Done. All ready. All you have to do is get her here. Then this nightmare will be over.
I bristle at his abrupt tone. His sister, my wife, is not a nightmare. She’s troubled. I hate that I have to do this to her. I scrub my face and scan the beach for her. Her eyes are on mine as she walks hand in hand with Toto. I grin and wave at her. She smiles back. Today she wears a skimpy black bikini that makes my cock hard. I’m going to miss moments like these after tomorrow.
Me: I’ll take the kids to your parents tonight. Give me more time with her. Then, I’ll bring her.
He responds right back.
Ren: Fine, but I want it done before the wedding. Consider it your gift to your daughter.
I grumble but type out my reply.
Me: Done.
After I delete all the messages, I tuck my phone away in the beach bag. Land wakes and starts squirming.
“Hey, baby boy,” I coo and kiss his belly through his onesie. “Let’s go play with Mommy and your sister. Looks like our time is limited.”
He grunts and waves his fist at me as if he’s trying to argue. If there were any other way, I’d be arguing too. But there’s not. This is it. This is the end, baby.
I scoop him into my arms and stand. When Toto sees me, she squeals and runs for me. Hannah’s smile is brighter than the sun beaming down on us.
Why can’t all days be like this one?
“A date the night before the wedding?” Baylee grumbles as she rocks Land in her arms. “I still have to cut up all that fruit and a mountain of vegetables for the reception. How am I supposed to do that if I have to babysit?”
Calder saunters in with his no-tongue girlfriend on his heels. That kid and I don’t like each other, but at least he loves my children. He takes Land from his mother while Luciana signs to her.
“We can babysit,” Calder translates. “Or we can cut vegetables. It’s fine.”
Hannah remains silent as she refuses to speak to her mother. They talk sometimes about the kids, but the conversation is usually strained. Sometimes, like tonight, they don’t speak at all. I pull her to my side and thank Calder. “We need this.”
Our eyes meet, and he gives me a clipped nod. It makes me wonder if Ren’s confided in him about what we have planned. Wouldn’t surprise me. I am shocked, though, that he doesn’t try to stop me. The only one who would try would probably be Baylee. For Hannah’s biggest thorn, she’s always been the fiercest about protecting her.
Not this time, Baylee.
The plan is in motion, and your fucking boys are going to help me.
“Let me tell Toto bye and then we’ll leave,” I grit out as I release Hannah to go hunt for my daughter. I find her in War’s office, sitting in his lap. He’s turned on a computer game for her and only winces a little bit when she beats on his keyboard.
“We’re about to head out,” I tell him as I enter the office.
Toto ignores me, so I ruffle her hair and kiss the top of her head. “Bye, baby girl.”
“Bye, Daddy,” she chirps and bangs her fist again.
“How are the new meds?” War questions.
I meet his steely gaze and shrug. “Same as the others. Fucking worthless.”
His lips press into a firm line. “I’ll keep trying.”
“Soon it won’t matter.”
Hard blue eyes dart to mine and his jaw clenches. “I told you I didn’t want the specifics.”
I snort. “Well, neither do I but here we fucking are.”
Toto is oblivious as she plays her game. Meanwhile, War pinches the bridge of his nose, and I pace his office.
“It’s our only option,” I mutter. “If there were any other way, you know I’d be up for it.” I swallow and pat Toto’s head. “I can’t lose these kids.”
Understanding washes over him and he nods. “I know. I just…” His jaw clenches again. “I just don’t want to know about it. It hurts too fucking much. Because in order to protect your kids, we have to hurt mine.”
I place my hands on my hips and give him a hard stare. “This protects your other children as well, you know. You and Baylee too.”
He closes his eyes, and a ragged breath escapes him. “I know, but I don’t like it.”
“Neither will she.”
“Where are we going?” Hannah asks from the passenger seat.
Tonight, she looks killer in a pale blue summer dress that shows off her toned thighs. I’m dying to mark them up with my teeth. I reach over to squeeze her leg and then run my pinky under her dress and along the seam of her panties.
“Somewhere special.”
She smiles, and it’s so beautiful I almost change my mind. For a split second, I almost turn the car the fuck around. But when her blue eyes flicker with that ever-present darkness, I’m reminded that this ends tonight.
“Would you ever kill me?” I ask as I tease her flesh while I drive.
She’s quiet but manages to give me a shrug.
I give her skin a little pop. “I asked you a yes or no question, baby.”
Her glare snaps to mine. “If I had to, then yes.”
“The things we do for love,” I say softly.
The two-hour drive is intense. With every passing mile, I feel a part of my soul chipping away. And she must sense the foreboding because she’s tense. I glance over and catch her chewing on her fingernail.
I need to calm her down.
To ease her nerves.
I drive until I find a road that’s lined with thick trees on either side. When I shut off the car, she stiffens.
“Is this the part where you kill your wife?” she demands, her small hands fisted.
“Don’t be fucking ridiculous,” I snap.
“Then what?”
I reach up and pinch her tit through her dress. “Get your skinny ass over here.”
Her shoulders relax. “You just want to fuck?”
“I always want to fuck you.”
A small laugh escapes her as she climbs over the center console into my lap. Our mouths connect in a needy kiss as she scrambles to pull my hard cock from my jeans. I barely mange to pull her panties to the side before she’s guiding me inside her. Her body slides down my length and she pulls away to stare at me. I grip her hip with one hand to urge her body to move but use my other hand to stroke her soft blonde hair.
She’s mine.
Ever since the day I knew she existed in her mother’s belly.
“I love you,” I tell her, my tone fierce. “No matter what.”
She chews on her bottom lip and nods. Fat, genuine-as-fuck tears well in her pretty blue eyes. My girl is intuitive. Always has been. She knows that life as we’ve known it ends tonight.
“I’m sorry,” she chokes out as her lips attack mine. “I’m sorry I can’t be better for you.”
I drown out her stupid words by kissing her deeply. Her seated on my cock with her tongue in my mouth is where she belongs. I slip my thumb to her front and rub it against her clit through her panties.
“Gabe,” she moans as her head tilts back in pleasure.
“That’s it, sweet girl,” I growl. “Come all over my big dick. Get me messy, baby.”
I lean forward and bite her tit through her dress. She trembles as her fingers clutch my hair. All it takes is a moment more of me rubbing her needy pussy before she’s climaxing with my name on her lips as though it’s a curse.
I’ve always been her curse.
The black fucking plague.
Hannah’s own little nightmare.
I bury my face against her tits as my orgasm explodes from me. I’m in heaven when her body is wrapped around my cock. All the bad in our life feels good for just one moment. I can forget it all and pretend we’re okay. But as soon as my seed trickles back out of her body, awareness settles over me.
No more putting this off.
I have to drive her to the place that she’ll never leave.