THE END IS near. I can feel it. Despite his denial, a sense of foreboding has washed over me. Finality. I’m perceptive enough to know when my husband’s behavior changes. He’s not the loving, doting husband he usually is.
He’s hard.
His jaw is clenched and he’s white-knuckling the steering wheel.
Poised and ready to kill.
I should be worried or panicking but I’m not. I know something is wrong with me. We both know this. If I keep barreling down this path called Life, I’m going to eventually crush the ones I love. The thought of hurting my children sickens me. I love them as much as I love Gabe. And if I were to hurt them, he’d never forgive me.
It’s better this way.
Tears swim in my vision, and I quickly blink them away.
I’m a strong woman. I can handle this.
My mind begins to wander. How will he kill me? With a rope around my throat? I’d rather it be his strong hand. With a knife tearing open my flesh like we cut up Esteban? I hope he does it slow so I can savor his beauty while my life bleeds out. Shot to the head? As long as he’s holding me when I go, I’m okay with that.
A quiver shakes through me.
I don’t want to die.
I’m too young and I have too much love to give. Fighting my demons is a daily battle, but it’s always worth it because my prize is my family. Gabe and Toto and Land need me. Only I know how to cut up Toto’s apples the way she likes them. It’s only me who knows that when you brush your thumb along Land’s brow after he eats, he falls asleep quicker. And nobody but me knows that when you cradle Gabe against your breast, his breathing evens out and all the stress leaves his body—that he snores ever so softly, and that’s how you know he’s fully at peace.
It’s the little things.
They’re mine to love and take care of.
I shouldn’t be taken away from them.
“Almost there,” Gabe says in a husky tone. He won’t look at me, which crushes a deep piece of my soul.
I squint in the darkness as we drive slowly down a winding road lined with trees. The speed limit said forty miles per hour, and yet he’s dipping way below. He doesn’t want to do this. I don’t want him to either.
“Gabe,” I choke out, my tears falling freely now.
“Shhh,” he murmurs and takes my hand. “It’ll all be over soon.”
I start to sob. My chest feels as though it’s going to explode. The love is all inside. It’s locked up but it seeps out through my cracks. This love belongs to him and our babies. One drip at a time might be all they get, but it’s theirs. And there is so much more where that love came from. I just don’t know how to make the holes bigger.
He turns down a gravel driveway that leads to a pretty house with many windows. On the side of the yard is a newly built swing set. It appears to be a perfect home for a family. The thought makes me cry harder. But when I see my brother Ren’s truck, my blood runs cold.
That fucking traitor.
Of course, Ren would want to help kill me. He’d do it himself if he had his way. Hell, that may be why he’s here. Maybe Gabe knew he wouldn’t be able to do it by himself.
“Hannah,” Gabe mutters before turning his head to frown at me. “I love you.”
I swallow. “I love you too.”
“If there were any other way…” he trails off. His brows pinch together as pain flickers in his eyes. He tugs my hand to pull me closer. Then, his other hand is in my hair. I let out a sad moan when his lips press to mine. Soft and sweet. He deepens the kiss, and I try to memorize the taste of his tongue. His manly scent that comforts me. The way his love follows him around like a warm fog always blanketing me.
“Promise me something,” I whisper against his lips. “Promise me you’ll do it. Don’t let Ren be the one to kill me. I want it to be you.”
A growl rumbles from him. “Hannah…”
“But first”—I whimper as I pull away to regard his handsome face. I free my hand from his and touch his wiry beard—“First, you have to catch me.”
His brown eyes flare to life with need and desire and love and animalistic fury all swirled into one storm. A storm only I can create. I don’t give him time to react before I yank on the handle and throw myself out of the car. I abandon my flip-flops in the car as I take off running through the soft grass toward the tree line.
“HANNAH!” he roars from behind me as he climbs out of the car.
I don’t look back.
I just run.
He’s going to catch me.
He always does.
My hair flies out behind me as I bolt. The air is fairly warm tonight. It’s a beautiful night to die. His heavy footsteps thud behind me, so I pick up my pace. The moment I enter the woods, I know it by the bite of the underbrush on my bare feet. Twigs and pinecones and thorny plants tear at my soles, but they don’t stop me.
I run and run and run.
His heavy breathing grows closer. I bet if I were to turn around, he’d be just a few feet away. So I don’t turn around. I can’t afford one small mistake. My tears seem like a permanent fixation on my cheeks. I know that I’ll die with those tearstains on my cheeks. I just hope I also die with his face being the last thing I see. Fingers brush against the back of my dress, and I screech. I run faster.
Just not fast enough.
With a grunt from him, he tackles me to the forest floor. The crash and fall is brutal. Sticks poke at me and thorns seem to stab at me from every direction. His weight crushes me to the earth. My husband easily wrangles my wrists behind my back as he presses his hard body against me. We’re both breathing heavily, so neither of us speaks at first.
This is it.
All over now.
“Why’d you run, sweet girl?”
I swallow down my emotion. “So you’d catch me one last time.”
His lips press to my cheek as he seeks my mouth from behind. I turn my head to steal one last kiss. But the kiss isn’t enough for either of us. He rips my dress up over my ass and yanks my panties down my thighs. Then, he struggles with his pants until his hot cock is freed and pressing against me. He works his knee between mine. When I try to move my wrists, he tightens the grip.
“I’ll never get tired of fucking you, wild woman,” he says as he guides his cock to my opening. I’m slick and hot for him. When he pushes into my pussy, I cry out in need. With one hard thrust, he drives all the way into me.
Pain assaults me from every direction, but the pleasure always supersedes the pain. I’d take all the pain as long as Gabe was the one doling it out. He fucks me hard against the brush. He utters beautiful words about love and family and destiny the whole time. I get lost in them—in him—and unravel with a scream. A grunt and then a growl escape him before he’s gushing inside of me. When we’re no longer moving, but he’s still buried deep inside me, I let out the breath I’d been holding.
“I’m ready,” I tell him, my voice quivering slightly.
“Ready for what?”
“This is the end, baby. Kill me, so I don’t kill them.” My voice cracks. “Or you.”
He slides out of me and his cum leaks out. I’m then released as he pulls his pants back up. “Come here.”
I’m unable to move, so he tugs my panties into place before hooking his arm around my waist to haul me to my feet. I lean my back against his chest in an effort to steal another moment with him. His palm slides up to grip my tit through my dress as his mouth finds my ear. A shiver ripples through me at having his hot breath there.
Soon, I’ll never feel his hot breath again.
It’ll be so cold without him.
“I love you,” he assures me again.
A crunch in the woods jerks my attention toward the direction we came from. Not even thirty feet away, a giant shadowy figure stalks toward us. Fear races down my spine until I catch a glimpse of the familiar face. More of my love seeps out through my stupid cracks.
“Did you really have to do that when I’m within shouting distance?” Ren asks.
My eyes fall to the hammer in his grip. I freeze in Gabe’s arms. A hammer? Fucking really?
“J-Just shoot me,” I beg, tears once again hot in my eyes. “Don’t bludgeon me to death!”
Ren snorts and shakes his head. “If it were my way, big sis, I’d have shot your ass a long time ago.” The hate in his eyes doesn’t mask the love he still harbors, though. I see it. A slight flicker of light amidst his dark rage.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. I truly am sorry for what became of my relationship with my brother.
“Not sorry enough,” he snarls as he storms toward us. He has something in his other hand, but I’m not able to make out what it is because in the next second, everything turns black.
Black.
Black.
Cold.
“I love you, sweet girl.”
And then nothing.