SARAH

 

For over a week, I saw and heard nothing of Karl. When I’d visited the offices, the first time since the accident, everyone had shown me such love, handing me a bouquet of flowers and being so sweet. The only one missing among them was Karl. He'd apparently been called away to a meeting and couldn’t join. But I knew the real reason for his absence and it saddened me to think that a wedge had been driven between us. Our friendship was as good as over. I just hoped that we could remain professional at work.

As for Josh, I thought about him every single day, even though I was yet to decide if I ever wanted to see him again. I’d searched the name Heather Todd on the internet and found that she’d gone missing while on holiday in Mexico with her boyfriend, Josh Kelly, seven years ago. The newspapers, including the local Mexican ones, stated that she’d disappeared during a party at an island villa owned by Josh’s father and that her body was never found. The reports were all pretty short and merely stated that people at the party had noticed her missing at around midnight, that she had a history of attempted suicide and had been diagnosed with manic depression. There was a beach close by and her clothes were found in a pile on the sand the next morning by police. It appeared she’d committed suicide or had gone for a late-night swim and come across trouble, either by drowning or attacked by a shark. The police didn’t suspect foul play and the girl’s parents had wanted to be left alone to grieve. Apart from that, I found nothing.

I wondered if Karl actually knew more, or if he was merely trying to plant some seed of doubt in my head regarding Josh. It was clear that he was jealous; the way he’d suddenly dropped Josh’s name in the kitchen, so clumsy and obvious. What he had to be envious about, I didn’t know. I’d been to see Josh just once and wasn’t even sure if I’d do so again. There was clearly nothing for Karl to be jealous about, and I felt myself in an impossible position. Even when I had told him straight that I didn’t love him, I still saw that blazing comet of hope shining in his eyes. This situation gave me much to think about in the proceeding days and only came second in my mind to my thoughts of Josh, which plagued me like a swarm of locusts.

To keep my mind off of both problems, I was going through all the tenancy contracts of the clients we had in the Miller Building, as well as all their correspondences with the landlord, Langley Holdings. I was also going through every inspection document from the City’s Buildings Commission and checking through things, liaising with Holcher and Sons. We’d also had a team of specialists go into the building and investigate the mold and the damp in the apartments. They’d recently come back with their lab results and Karl was going through that with several of the others in the offices. We were slowly building a very strong case. If it hadn’t been for all this work, going through miles of paperwork, I would have gone insane in those weeks trapped at home.

The only real company I had in all that time was Lucy and Troy. Lucy had practically become his full-time caretaker now, and it was something she seemed naturally born to do. Every so often she’d have to run an errand and I’d look after the boy. I found this to be a welcome break in both my work and my thoughts of men. We’d either watch cartoons or Troy would wheel me out into the garden and I’d watch him play with the new swing set and trampoline my father had purchased for him. His breathing was getting so much better now and his inhaler was only ever needed after long periods of exercise. It was so good to see him spreading his wings.

Three weeks after my accident, I went to see his mother, Theresa, for the first time since it had happened. The meeting had had to take place in a local cafe, as I was unable to reach her seventh-floor apartment without the elevator. In general, the mother was doing well, glad her son was fitter than he’d ever been and pleased that the court case against Langley Holdings was progressing. I saw much less despair in her eyes than I had before.

It was during this meeting in the cafe that Theresa casually mentioned Josh. We were sitting drinking coffee, talking about the accident, Troy and Lucy also at the table.

“I was real worried when I heard the news,” she was saying. “I prayed for you, something I haven’t done for a long time.”

I smiled and thanked her for her concern.

“I was,” she stated, as though she thought I didn’t believe her. “Real worried. You’re a good person, Sarah. Like a guardian to people or something. You and your father and sisters,” she added, turning sideways toward Lucy.

“You’re embarrassing me,” I said, blushing.

“It’s true. But I won't embarrass you further. I’m just pleased you’re okay.”

She turned to her son and put her arm around him, hugging him warmly.

“Just look at my Troy,” she said. “He’s never looked better. It’s like a different boy. And it’s all because of you. I just thank God that Josh Kelly was around when you was hurt.”

His name immediately brought the color rushing to my face and I felt my heart shudder. Hearing his name had such an effect on me that I could say nothing for a second or two.

“He’s your savior,” she went on. “Have you seen him since the accident? The news said he’s holed up in some rehab place.”

“He is,” I stammered. “I’ve been to see him once.”

“Lucky girl,” she remarked with a cheeky grin. “Is he as gorgeous as he is in his photos?”

My face went redder.

“I couldn’t really say,” was my stumbling reply. “He’s certainly handsome,” I added as an afterthought.

“He certainly is,” Theresa let out softly, picking up her mug and taking a sip.

“He was very rude to her,” Lucy suddenly interjected.

“Rude!?” Theresa exclaimed. “Why was he rude?”

“We got into a discussion,” I said, “and we had a disagreement.”

“About what?”

“Just about his attitude to life, I guess. He’s very cynical.”

“Well, I did read in one of them papers that he’s a bad boy. Most of them rich boys are. I hear his girlfriend killed herself when he was eighteen and ever since he’s been in and out of trouble. His big old rich daddy always fixes it for him.”

“Yes, he doesn’t have much liability in his life,” I stated.

“I wouldn’t mind having no liability in my life from time to time,” Theresa remarked. “I guess that’s what a billionaire father affords you.”

“Yes,” was all I said to this.

I was glad that the subject of Josh Kelly was dropped after this and the conversation took on topics that weren’t so close to my heart. We talked about Troy, about the case and about Theresa’s hopes for the future.

However, after I left the cafe and returned home, I couldn’t help thinking of Josh. As I said earlier, I still hadn’t come to any decision regarding seeing him again. It seemed that every time we met, an argument ensued, and there was too much conflict between us. He appeared to fight me in everything and it hadn’t escaped my notice that some of the things I said to him in the garden had profoundly annoyed him. This persistent cynical attitude of his told me that once he was done at Withered Peaks, he would resume his former lifestyle. The loss of his childhood sweetheart had obviously eaten him away like a worm, and, alongside the loss of his mother at an early age, he had fallen into an abyss of shadows.

That night when I went to bed, I dreamed of him. I dreamt that we were children again, walking along the creek to the treehouse, his hand within mine, the glittering sunbeams cutting down through the air. I dreamt that we went inside his den and sat surrounded by the pictures of his mother. I dreamt that his eyes once again filled with black tears and I sensed that they came straight from his heart. I overflowed with pity for him. I gripped tightly to his hand and tried to sway his misery. But no matter what, he continued to cry and I wished with all my being to bring him mercy.

I awoke in shock.

My eyes darted around the darkened room and I wondered if he were still there with me, crying somewhere in the corner. I was even a little surprised when I couldn’t find him among the shadows. I felt him so closely in my heart, and the pity I had for him was all consuming, his black, marble eyes still gazing out from somewhere inside of me.

I realized then that I would arrange to meet him that very day.