As I tucked my toy back inside my suitcase after I cleaned it, my phone vibrated with a text. J.P. It was only 6:30 in the morning for him back out west but I figured he had an early shift.

I laughed out loud as I slipped on my bracelet from Samantha and grabbed my purse to head down to the exhibit hall. I sent him a text on the way to the elevator.

A short burst of laughter slipped out as I waited alone for the elevator. An ass-addict. I shook my head at my own stupid joke and then sent a text to Samantha.

In the crowded elevator, I cautiously glanced at J.P.’s new text.

I decided to tease him a little bit.

What if I did?

Before I sent the message, I debated about being extra playful with him as the elevator continued to descend toward the lobby.

Ding!

The elevator doors opened, and while I waited for people to shuffle out, I quickly added “XO” to my text and sent it.

As I made my way toward Sam, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was about to take part in my biggest book event to date, Dark Kiss was selling like crazy…and I’m in love.

“Eekk!” Samantha screeched as I stopped in front of her. “You look great, Aims. Here,” Samantha reached into a plastic bag and offered me the Vanilla Coke and a banana. “Did you eat something yet or were you busy with J.P.?”

My cheeks must have given me away, and she slapped me on my upper arm. I took hold of the wheeled cart, and we walked together toward the entrance.

“I also have a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie in there for you to eat around mid-morning. And the wintergreen Tic Tacs too. I’m going to have to have a talk with this romantic sadist of yours.”

“Oh, don’t you dare,” I laughed.

“He’s going to have to include with his masturbation play instructions that you also eat something.”

I nodded to let her know I’d do a better job of that. Sadly, instead of my mind being on the book event that was moments away, I was thinking about my new toys that are on their way. Samantha and I focused and set up the table just in time for the event photographer to snap a picture of me by my table. After the photographer moved on, Samantha got a picture and sent it to my phone. I, in turn, sent it to J.P. and before I sat down my phone started sending me alerts of people on Facebook liking my photo. I glanced at Sam; her head buried in her phone.

“What? I can feel your eyes, Aims.”

“How did you already post that?”

“Just getting the word out where you’re at today…big book event.”

We sat down behind the table as the doors for the VIP ticket holders opened. There was a mass of people that swarmed a couple tables in our aisle but on the opposite side. Wow. That must be nice.

I watched the fans, all wearing the author’s logo t-shirts. I took a deep breath and looked down at my quiet phone before sliding my bracelet up and down my wrist a bit. It was another one of my fidget habits. I slipped my finger between my skin and the underside of the bracelet. I could feel the inscription: She believed she could, so she did.

“Aims,” Samantha said my name in a warning tone telling me not to feel bad or discouraged.

I gave her a smile and nodded. I focused on my table and my readers that came over to see me. Throughout the day I met lots of readers and many of them I knew by name on the social media platforms where they followed me.

Everything was moving at a steady pace and after a small group of people left the table, I had a moment to eat that cookie Samantha got for me earlier. As I was chewing, I realized how hungry I was.

“That guy,” Samantha started and nudged me as the only man in the group that just left my table was slowly walking away.

“What?” I asked her while I partially chewed the rest of the cookie.

“Isn’t that the guy from San Diego?” she asked me.

I frowned and stared at the back of him as he sauntered around, stopping at a few tables away from us. I don’t know how she remembered him. I don’t even remember the people I’ve seen at all of the events. I try, but there’s only so much room in my head.

“I have no idea, Sam. How the hell do you remember these things?”

“First off, a man usually sticks out a bit at these events. Nine out of ten attendees are women. And second of all…he’s a really good-looking guy.”

I shook my head at her but stared at the man. He was good looking.

“Just like in San Diego, he didn’t want you to sign the book. Remember?”

I remembered him.

“Yeah, he bought Paris,” I recalled.

“Yes!” Sam exclaimed.

He just purchased Unexpected Love and carried it in his hands instead of putting it in his tote bag.

“This is far from San Diego,” Samantha pointed out the obvious.

“Maybe he just travels around to book events,” I said and shrugged.

I finished off my Vanilla Coke and tossed a few wintergreen Tic Tacs in my mouth. Samantha grabbed my forearm and turned to me excitedly.

“What if he works for a publisher?”

I scowled. The writing world has changed so much that I didn’t need a publisher to do what I was doing. Times have changed.

“Think about it, Aims. He’s now seen you at two book events and purchased two of your books! Maybe he didn’t want them signed because he’s taking them back to the publishing company.”

“Relax, Sam. I’m not interested in a publishing contract. You know that.”

But still…I was curious about the handsome man that has purchased books from me at book events on opposite sides of the country.

* * *

Shortly after midnight Eastern Time, I made it back to my hotel room. Exhausted from talking and standing on my feet for over four hours, I flopped on the bed. My throat was sore, and my mouth was bone dry.

“Ugh, why didn’t I grab the bottle of water before getting on the bed?” I bitched.

Forcing myself to an upright position, I gathered my bearings and looked at the clock on the nightstand. I pushed myself off the bed and grabbed the water bottle. As I guzzled it, I quickly planned out tomorrow morning. I needed to be up and checked out by 8:00 a.m. to make it to the airport for the 10:30 flight home.

Before crawling back on the bed, I sent J.P. a text so he wouldn’t worry.

Before I settled myself into bed, he sent me a reply text. Why did his texts make me feel all mushy? Was it love for sure? I knew that I was getting very attached to his attention.

Oh. My eyes perked up as I pulled the sheet up.

He’s so sweet. Yes, I loved him. My heart was fully invested in my romantic sadist…who was still somewhat of a mystery to me.

* * *

“Aims, I don’t think he’d send you a ‘hugs and kisses’ text if he didn’t mean it,” Samantha said as we sat down at the bar on the concourse in the airport.

I was confident with Samantha’s comment. Not only was it something that I wanted to hear, but I believed her. Samantha wasn’t the type that went around telling people what she thought they wanted to hear. She was brutally honest with me all the time, even if the truth hurt. And she knows how hesitant I’ve been with men since the “Chris experience.” Since him, I’ve been cautious about letting my heart get involved with any man.

But J.P. has been so different. And maybe it’s because our relationship never started out as anything date-like or anything that either of us thought would lead to something more.

I continued to seriously mull over the pros and cons to my romantic sadist. I worked from home and could relocate anywhere.

J.P. worked…somewhere in the medical field. What on earth did he do exactly? He never seemed to have a solid schedule, so I don’t think he’s a doctor with his own practice. But, maybe he was a doctor in an emergency room and had different schedules. Or some sort of technician, or even a nurse. He’s always very strict about only being able to check his phone for calls, messages, and texts during his lunch or breaks. Any and all jobs in the medical field were possibilities. The only way I’d know for sure was to ask him.

But I have asked him and it’s been a vague “medical field” answer.

Doubt clouded my head as I thought back to the recent question I posed to him about the women with his “not mine yet” label. When I asked him about the women in those pictures, he said they didn’t matter.

Would I matter?

Did I matter?

Did I really matter, or was I just his latest bit of entertainment?

No, I’m different. Our relationship was based on friendship first.

“Stop, Aims,” Samantha nudged my arm that rested on the bar top. She pulled a glass of ice water closer to me. “You need some water. Coffee is great, but I don’t think you’ve had enough water.” I smiled weakly and sipped the water. “A lack of water will make you start thinking crazy shit,” she smiled and looked me in the eye.

Samantha knew that at times my own self-doubt sneaks up on me and sends me into a quiet downward spiral. Which is kind of where I was right now.

“He’s not Chris. You have to stop being afraid to get involved with guys because of Chris. Yeah, you ended up with a broken heart, but that was many years ago. J.P. is making you happy. Why are you running from your chance at happiness?”

I shrugged. On the surface, I didn’t know. Deep down, I knew it was because I didn’t want to get hurt again…like I did with Chris.

But I knew the point that Samantha was trying to make. I needed to take a chance and see if it could work out. And I wanted to.

“And like I said, any man who gets you to take it up the ass can’t be a bad guy.”

I whipped my head up and glanced around to see if anyone heard. The bartender smiled but made no eye contact.

“You girls talking about ass fucking again?” Ryan said as he leaned forward on the bar.

“Yes, Ry. I was reminding Aims that J.P. can’t be that bad if he’s making her excited about taking toys up her ass. If I’m not mistaken, you should have some toys waiting for you when we get home. Try that glass one first.”

I think my jaw was open as I sat there in shock.

“Sam loves the glass ones, don’t you darling? She also loves my cock up there,” Ryan teased and earned a sharp look from Samantha.

“Okay, I’m going to walk for a bit. I’ll meet you guys at the gate,” I said and gathered my purse and began walking slowly toward the gate.

Amy: Just got to the gate. I still have an hour before boarding.

He called me and I spent the next forty-five minutes talking to him about the book event yesterday and the party in the evening.