“Hey, princess. I’ve missed your innocent, sweet voice,” J.P. excitedly said, answering my call on the first ring.

A broad smile spread across my face as I walked from my writing room to my patio. Thankfully the reception was decent, and our phones weren’t cutting in and out.

“Aw, I’ve missed my sinister sounding sadist.” I joked with him.

“Don’t go believing whatever rumors you hear about us sadists. None of them are true,” he said gently. “Well, most of them aren’t true,” he laughed.

I wondered for a moment how much crap he’s had to deal with just because of that label. I’ve learned so much from him over the past few months. And though I’ve learned that the BDSM community is very welcoming, I’m sure there are still prejudices or misconceptions he’s faced just in his circle of friends at his club.

“I agree. I’ve learned that not all sadists are monsters,” I said lightly, hoping he’d pick up on the fact that I was referring to him.

His voice sounded heavy though as if he’d had a rough week. One thing I’ve learned since talking to J.P. is that many Doms, from sadists to Daddy Doms, generally don’t air their stresses or worries to their subs. But I wasn’t his sub; I was his friend.

“How have you been, J.P.?” I asked.

“I’ve been okay.” J.P. paused as if he may have been on the verge of saying something else. Before I spoke, I gave him another opportunity by staying quiet for a few moments.

“Yeah? You sure?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. His voice sounded a little different now. “I’ve been working a lot lately, and they’ve been odd schedules. I’m just a little tired.”

“I hear you. I’ve been working eighteen and nineteen-hour days. They’ve been killers.”

“Amy, you’re not getting enough sleep.”

“I doubt you are either.”

“Fair enough, princess.”

There was an awkward pause for a few moments as I rolled the stem of a dandelion that was at the edge of the concrete and grass. I decided to test the waters of the conversation with his dungeon club.

“So, what’s new at your club?”

“Not much. I haven’t been in a little while.”

I was surprised by this. When I first met J.P., he was constantly going to the club. The club was vital to him and I thought it made him happy.

“What? Why not? Is it because of the friend you’re not getting along with?” I asked.

“It’s kind of complicated. My friendship with him has become strained, and he’s there all the time. It’s kind of hard to be near him right now.”

“Have you spoken to him?”

“Amy, it’s really become a difficult situation. It’s not worth your worry, nor is it worth taking our time discussing.”

“Is that the Dom in you talking?” I jokingly asked.

“Princess, please don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, sorry. I just know how much you love the club and I’d hate to see you throw it away just because of some guy.”

“It’s okay, Amy. It’s not the same club that it used to be. Let’s talk about something more exciting. Tell me where Dark Kiss is. How is the pre-release stuff going?”

I felt bad moving away from the topic of him to my books. I didn’t want it to be the focus of our friendship. But it was clear that whatever was going on between him and his friend, he didn’t want to talk about.

“The book stuff is going well. Dark Kiss should be back from the editor at the end of the week, and then I’ll go through the edits and make the necessary changes.”

“How long does it take you to go through those?”

“Well, honestly it depends. Could be an evening or could be a few evenings. It depends what the editor finds,” I said.

Inwardly I prayed that the editor doesn’t find a ton of things. I’ve got a lot on my plate over the next few weeks, and I really hope that my draft was pretty clean.

“Oh, by the way, I finished Country Chic. Thanks for not killing off Sara or Clayton.”

J.P.’s voice started to sound more like the relaxed and at ease J.P. that I’ve come to know…and love.

Did I love J.P.? My mind began wandering until J.P. spoke again.

“I kind of pictured Clayton to have a little kinky side that was buried deep in him,” J.P. tossed out at me, and I frowned.

“Clayton? Kinky? Really?” I asked. I was curious as to what made him think that the wholesome country guy was kinky. J.P. laughed heartily into the phone, forcing a smile on my face.

“Clayton didn’t come across to me as being innocent, princess. He fucked her in the barn on a bale of hay.”

“That? That was supposed to be romantic, not kinky,” I said in defense of Clayton’s motives.

“Clayton had a thing for dirty sex in the barn. He wanted to give that city slicker, Sara, something she hadn’t had; a nice fuck in the hot, sweaty, smelly barn. With hay scratching her back, leaving abrasions from her body getting rocked back and forth on their bed of hay. He got off knowing that her back was cut up and that he had his hand in it.”

I sat flabbergasted as I listened to J.P.’s kinky twist on my wholesome love story of opposites attract in Country Chic. His voice grew excited as he spoke of Clayton and Sara and how he interpreted their love story.

“It was a love story. He didn’t fuck her on a bale of sharp hay. He made love to her.”

“He didn’t bang her with her clothes on, princess. He tore her clothes off, hoisted her up and set her on the bale of hay and fucked her with his big, country boy cock.”

“Oh, so wrong, Mr. Sadist.”

“Am I?”

“Yes! He gently removed her clothes, and he covered the bale of hay with his work shirt. Then he made sweet love to her, and they lived happily ever after.”

J.P. was laughing at my serious explanation of the book.

“Happily, ever after, huh princess? He was happy because he finally got his rocks off banging the beauty in the barn. And leaving marks on her.”

“He laid the shirt down over the hay so it’d be soft!” I protested as he continued to laugh.

“Have you ever thought about writing a follow up to their story? Maybe like a ‘ten years into the future’ story?”

“I hadn’t,” I said.

“You could and give it the kinky twist that Clayton wants. Make them constantly fuck in the barn. He whips her with the leather straps from the horse saddles. Maybe he’s turned her into a sex slave and keeps her tied up in the barn.”

“What?” I was laughing now but found it funny that he was so eager to come up with ideas for them.

“Things then get really kinky; he hooks her up to a milking machine—”

I had to cut him off as I closed my eyes and held my hand up in a stopping motion as if he could see it.

“Ugh! Stop, you’re taking them in a weird direction that I didn’t know existed, Mr. Sadist.”

“It’s not weird to everyone.”

“Agreed. But for Clayton and Sara…it’s weird.”

“Alright, princess. But I think you’ve caged Clayton’s urges. You put a lonely guy out in the middle of nowhere, and a beautiful girl pops up. He had depraved urges and needs. He wasn’t going to cover the bale of hay with his shirt so it’d be soft for her.”

“He loved her, J.P.”

“Love doesn’t have to be a bed of roses of soft pillows, princess.”

I opened my mouth to begin protesting Clayton’s intentions and thoughts again but quickly closed it. I realized he was trying to make a point about something else. Someone else. Him.

J.P.’s kind of love doesn’t come with fluffy beds, it comes with living in the moment and rough, raw sex.

“You’re right,” I said. I reiterated that he was right and that love comes in different degrees, levels, depths and it means something different to everyone.

“Can I ask you something personal, J.P.?”

“Sure.”

“Have you ever been in love? Like the kind where you want to spread out a blanket and lay her down on it?”

“No, not that kind. I need pain, you know that. I need to push my sub to the edge. Push them outside their mind and into mine. When they’re outside their mind, they are more accepting of mine.”

I thought about what he was saying.

“I see,” I said.

“I don’t think you do. Maybe you think you understand, but until you experience it, you won’t know.” J.P. paused for a moment as I imagined myself on my knees in front of him. “Now, tell me about the love you know and have experience with.”

I smiled and felt a pang in my heart as memories of Chris entered my mind. Could I even breach the topic of Chris with J.P.? Maybe a little bit…but not all. Not yet.

“I was very young. Fresh out of college. I thought he was in love with me too. We married, and a few years later, we had a disagreement. The next day, he told me he was leaving.” Tears welled in my eyes. I refused to cry and took a deep breath. “He said he didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t think it was truly over. I thought that maybe he just needed time and that he’d come around and maybe we could meet in the middle. But he never did.” I wiped my eyes. “Divorce papers soon followed.”

I heard J.P. let out a heavy sigh.

“Princess, don’t cry. Don’t waste a tear over that prick.”

I nodded and looked upward at the blue sky hoping the tears in my eyes would recede. God knows that I’ve wasted lots of tears and time on Chris. I didn’t think I could ever cry over him again. Maybe that cut is still there. Suddenly, I wasn’t in the mood to talk on the phone anymore.

“Thanks for the chat, J.P. I think I should get going—”

“No, not yet. You’re upset. I want to talk to you for a little while longer.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“No. Our relationship is different, Amy. It’s a no bullshit relationship. We’re friends now. Good friends have one another’s backs. I consider us good friends.”

Good friends. While I loved that idea, I had a feeling that my heart already wanted more from him. And it crushed me to think that I couldn’t be the kind of person that he needed. I put the brakes on my heart and leaned back in the chair.

“Thanks, J.P.”

He and I talked for a while and eventually he had me laughing and smiling.

“Alright, princess. I’ll let you get going. I’m going to read some more of Unexpected Love tonight.”

“Oh, you downloaded that too?”

“Yep, but with work lately, I haven’t had a chance to read too much. Though I think I’m nearing a good part. The prissy college girl, Pamela, just needs a fat cock up her ass. I have a feeling Desmond is going to deliver that cock.”

“You’re so funny.”

“I absolutely picture Desmond chaining Pamela to the old whipping post in the town they’re visiting. He’ll whip her with his belt right before he fucks her in the ass. Am I right?”

“What? No, you’re terrible,” I laughed and shook my head.

“You like it, princess.”

I could feel J.P.’s smile coming through the phone. We got off the phone and I went back to my writing room.