Allison

 

It killed me that Jules just stood there outside the doors to the hospital. For those moments in the car, when I saw those missed calls from him on my phone, I thought that things were shifting between us. I thought that maybe we had a chance. After all, who goes through the trouble of finding someone – I’d ask later how in the hell he figured out where I lived – if they didn’t care about that person, right? And he’d called me repeatedly, left messages, sent texts. He’d been almost desperate to get ahold of me. Why would he do that if he didn’t want me back?

 

But now I was thinking that maybe I’d gotten it all wrong. That maybe he wasn’t really interested in having me back at all. It could have been that he was just interested in making sure that I’d gotten home okay. Or worse, what if he’d only gone through all of this trouble to make sure I’d abide by the contract we’d signed.

 

The thought made me almost physically ill and I had to shove it aside before I dwelled too heavily on it. It would eat me alive if I let it and I just couldn’t do that.

 

Forcing myself to move forward, I went to the front desk where the nurse sat. She was wearing blue scrubs and had her blonde hair twisted up in a pretty updo that would never have looked good on me. If anything, I would have looked like some ridiculous Barbie doll wanna be. Or worse, like a kid playing dress up in her mother’s closet.

 

Ew.

 

The nurse wasn’t one I recognized and I knew just about all of them. She had to have been new. “Hello, miss?”

 

“Please, fill out a form and wait over there. I’ll get to you as soon as—”

 

I interrupted the nurse, who sounded like she was either exasperated with people coming in – which seemed unlikely given that the place was basically empty – or she was just bored to tears. Either way, I was slightly annoyed with her attitude. Which was not good since I was already kind of amped up. Between my sister, Shae, and Jules, I felt like I was in a whirlwind of complications that were driving me slowly insane. Or not so slowly.

 

“I’m not a patient. I’m here to see my sister.”

 

The woman looked up at me, slightly more interested, but only barely. Letting out a sigh, she nodded. “Okay, who’s your sister?”

 

“Bree Gilson. She’s scheduled to go in for surgery early today and I—”

 

“Hold on,” the nurse told me rudely as she swiveled toward her computer and began typing. I was so getting her name and getting her written up with this was all done and over. She began typing onto her computer quickly, then moving the mouse around as she searched for Bree’s name. “Ah. There she is.”

 

As soon as the words left her mouth, she softened. Her whole posture changed dramatically and when she looked over at me, I saw honest sympathy in her eyes. “Heart surgery?” she confirmed.

 

I swallowed thickly and nodded. “Yes. Is… is everything okay? Can I see her?”

 

The woman nodded. She’d changed like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, just that fast. All of a sudden, she was offering me sweet smiles and sympathetic looks. “Yes. She’s supposed to go in in just a few minutes, but if you hurry you can still catch her before they move her to the operating room. I’m sure she’d love to see you first.”

 

All my earlier animosity toward the woman faded, and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I really was an emotional wreck. Offering her a watery smile, I nodded. “Thank you.”

 

I turned to go, but the woman stopped me. “Dr. Miller is the best we’ve got. He’s going to do everything he can for your sister, so don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll come out just fine.”

 

I was surprised by her reassurances, but grateful for them nonetheless. Thanking her again, I hurried down the hall toward my sister’s room, suddenly needing to see her more than anything in the world.

 

When I got there, she was clutching a teddy bear – named Wanda, because she thought that crazy witch girl from that comic book was the best thing since sliced bread – hard to her chest, looking small and fragile there in her hospital bed.

 

“Hey, there, kiddo,” I said from the doorway.

 

She looked up and instantly her face split into a smile. “You made it! I wasn’t sure you’d be here before the surgery.”

 

I waved off her worry like I’d known the whole time that I’d get here before she went under. Really, I hadn’t known a damn thing, and Shae and Jules had both sent my whole day for a loop. “I wouldn’t miss the chance to see you off. After all, I’ve worked my butt off to see this moment.” I headed into the room to her bedside.

 

Her smile faltered slightly and she looked down at Wanda, tugging at loose tufts of reddish brown fur. “I told myself not to ask, but… how did you get the money?”

 

I froze after sitting, perched there on the edge of her bed. Some part of me had known that this moment would come. Bree wasn’t stupid; she knew I didn’t have that kind of money. And despite Dr. Miller’s wish that he could help everyone regardless of how much money he had, he didn’t have the resources or the money on his own to do stuff like that. Worse, Bree knew of my scheme to sell my virginity. I’d promised her that I wouldn’t, but… well, I’d lied. And now I wondered if some part of her knew it all along.

 

Hesitating for just a second, I finally relaxed my shoulders and reached for her hand. “I did what I had to do to help my sister. I did what any sister would do.”

 

She opened her mouth to protest, to tell me that she never wanted this for me, but I cut her off before she even got a word out.

 

“I took out a loan.”

 

It was a blatant lie and kind of a ridiculous one at that. No bank in their right mind would give me a loan, not if I put my car and everything I owned against it. Hell, that car probably wasn’t worth the tires it sat on.

 

But the lie was important. Bree wouldn’t understand why I’d done it or how, in the end, losing my virginity hadn’t been important to me.

 

Losing it to Jules had, though. And that was why I told the lie. To me, it hadn’t been prostitution because I’d wanted to be with him for every second of it. It had been real to me, even though… even though things weren’t going to work out. I had made this huge decision and it had changed my life. That wasn’t prostitution, even if I had gotten paid for it.

 

Bree wouldn’t understand that, though. So one more lie to protect her.

 

Instantly, Bree’s expression changed. It brightened for one and it opened up, too. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open slightly. I couldn’t blame her for being shocked. “Someone gave you a loan?”

 

I laughed. It really was funny. “Hey! Give me some credit. I did pay off that car.” Finally. “And I might have used said car as collateral. And gotten a ridiculously high interest rate. But I got it. And it’s worth it, so I don’t even want to hear you arguing with me.”

 

Her mouth closed and she gave me a soft, sweet smile. “You’ve always taken care of me, Allison. I… I know it’s been hard and that it’s not fair—”

 

I held up a hand to stop her. “Stop it. I love you. You are my world. If I had to give up everything for you tomorrow, I would. And I’d do it with a damn smile on my face, because you’re my sister. I do this because there is nothing stronger than the bond we share.”

 

Tears filled her eyes and she laughed and cried at the same time, swiping at her tears. “You’re the best, you know?”

 

I leaned in and gave her a tight hug, Wanda the bear trapped between us. I held on to her longer and harder than usual, because amidst all the money and the boy craziness and the sisterly love, I was still scared. This was a serious operation. Getting it was the first step, but that didn’t mean it was a guarantee. A lot of things could still go wrong. One misstep in the operating room and suddenly my sister was dead. What little time I might have had with her would be stolen from me. And then even if she did make it out of surgery, there could be complications after. Her body might reject the heart. She might not heal properly. She could get sick while taking the autoimmune depressants. There were so many things that could go horribly wrong and I was terrified about all of them.

 

I needed my sister, now more than ever.

 

It wasn’t until the door opened again and the doctor came in that we broke apart. Both of us wiped at our eyes discretely. I turned to look at Dr. Miller. He gave me a soft smile, his older face crinkling and wrinkling in familiar ways. He had laugh lines and crow’s feet and graying hair at his temples, but he was still firm. His hands didn’t shake and he was as able bodied as most of the men half his age. These were small things, but important to me right now. They told me that my sister would be okay. That she’d come out of this thing alive.

 

“Allison, good. I was hoping you’d make it by before we went in for surgery.”

 

I nodded. “Of course. I wanted to be here.”

 

“Good. I assume you’re going to wait until she gets out?”

 

I nodded again.

 

“Alright. Just keep in mind that this will take some time. We’ve come a long way since those first operations and everything is much safer – we know so much more. But it still takes time and I’ve always believed that it’s better to do it right than to do it fast.”

 

“I couldn’t agree more,” I told him and truly meant it. I’d rather it take them three days and have my sister back, than have her out of there in an hour only to find out later that they messed up somewhere along the way.

 

He chuckled softly. “I figured you might. There’ll be coffee in the waiting room, which of course you know. And Carly up front will be on duty, so if you need anything just ask her.”

 

I assumed that Carly was the receptionist I’d run into earlier. If he’d told me that when I first walked in, I probably would have told him that I’d rather chew glass. But now I took a little bit of comfort in the knowledge that someone would be there.

 

Because Jules won’t be.

 

The thought came hard and fast. It felt like it knocked the wind out of me, it hurt so much. I felt like crumpling right there on my sister’s bed, crying my eyes out. It was only the knowledge of my sister’s impending operation that kept me calm and collected.

 

I forced a smile. “Thank you, Dr. Miller. You’ve been so great through all of this.”

 

“Of course. Now, we need to get you into the operating room.” He smiled at Bree, looking cool as a cucumber.

 

She was still nervous, but his confidence helped her relax a little. She nodded at him, then turned to me. “Will you take Wanda with you?”

 

I accepted the worn teddy bear and clutched her close. “You bet. We’ll keep each other company until you’re done.”

 

She gave me a nervous smile, then we hugged again. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening. I promised her that I would be here when she got done and that I’d have Wanda pre-warmed for some serious cuddling. She laughed and then I watched as they wheeled her away toward the operating room. The doctor gave me a reassuring smile and a wave, then they disappeared around a corner.

 

The operation would take a couple of hours, but those would be the longest hours of my life. I knew that already.

 

So, clutching my little sister’s teddy bear, I headed back toward the waiting room and hopefully a hot cup of coffee.

 

When I got there, the nurse from earlier was still at her station. She saw me and offered a smile. “Is there anything you need?” she asked.

 

I gave her a weak smile. “Just point me in the direction of the coffee pot.”

 

She nodded and stood a little in her chair to point around the corner. “Just around the corner. Should be nice and fresh at least.”

 

I thanked her, then headed over. She was right, the coffee was fresh and in an actual pot instead of those terrible vending machines that most hospitals had. The staff brought in the coffee on a rotation schedule, so there were different brands being brewed all the time, but every single one of them was better than the sludge they brewed in the vending machines.

 

I made myself a cup and left it black, because I felt like having something strong right now. Cup in one hand and Wanda under my arm, I headed toward the waiting room and found a seat. There wasn’t anyone else there, which was a little unusual. The hospital wasn’t super busy, because it housed a lot of long term patients as opposed to the emergency hospital most people went to. That meant there tended to be a lot of visitors, but not so many patients waiting to be seen.

 

Either way, I was sort of grateful for the privacy. I didn’t want to make idle chitchat with strangers, not even to take my mind off Bree, and I definitely didn’t want to watch people who were seriously injured come in only to wait for treatment. That was one of the worst parts about hospitals, I thought, so I was grateful for a reprieve from that at least.

 

It was pretty quiet in the waiting room. Carly, the nurse, mostly left me alone, though she’d check in every so often to see if I needed anything. She took calls every now and again and might page someone, but otherwise she did some filing and occasionally worked on her nails.

 

There was a TV hanging in the corner that Carly told me I could watch if I felt like it, but I told her that I really didn’t feel like watching the mindless crap they were playing these days. None of it was very interesting. She laughed and agreed, then we fell silent again.

 

I made a point of not using my cell phone – I put it on silent, too – since we were in the hospital and I really wasn’t supposed to use it inside.

 

Unfortunately, that meant I sat there waiting with very little to occupy my time other than magazines that were a couple of years out of date already. It was no surprise that my mind wandered.

 

At first, I was just thinking of Bree. I imagined her out of this hospital, getting ready for school, trying on clothes, going out with boys. Things that a normal girl her age should be doing. I would have to get her enrolled somewhere decent and we’d need some sort of schedule for getting her to and from school. She was not going to take the city bus by herself every day. Not on my watch.

 

At least she can even go to public school, I thought gratefully.

 

She’d been in the hospital on and off for a long time, meaning that she didn’t go to public school. She hadn’t been enrolled since our parents were alive. But I’d made a point to keep her as up to date on her studies as possible. I checked out school books from the library and bought the ones that I couldn’t find. I printed off a bunch of those testing things and lesson plans for homeschooled kids to make sure that she didn’t fall behind. When I couldn’t be there to help her out, Christel often was, and even some of the nurses at the hospital chipped in.

 

We were really lucky in that respect, because it meant that Bree could take a qualifying test and start school as a sophomore, probably, so she wouldn’t be older than her classmates. She could have a totally normal, happy life.

 

That was all I wanted for her.

 

Don’t you want that for yourself, too?

 

I was trying not to think of Jules and it was, at first, pretty easy, because Bree was on the operating table and she was my first priority. But my mind couldn’t help but wander.

 

Bree would go back to school. She’d go for another two or three years and then she’d graduate. With any luck, we’d be able to save up something and she could go to college. She could start her life, meet some nice boy and settle down. Live happily ever after.

 

But what about me? What would I do once she was gone?

 

The answer was that I was an adult and could start dating earnestly after that. It would be about taking care of myself instead of someone else all of the time. But how was I supposed to start dating when the only person I could think of that I wanted was Jules?

 

It ate me up inside.

 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I murmured to myself.

 

Of course, that was true from the very start. I hadn’t expected to truly enjoy the weekend like I had. It was all about the money. About getting Bree the operation. But I’d found so much more than money. Jules had opened up this whole other world for me. A world I never would have found for myself, but then he took it away and now here I was, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do with myself.

 

I wanted Jules back, but he was making it pretty clear that whatever things he might or might not feel for me, they weren’t strong enough to justify an actual relationship.

 

And wasn’t it foolish of me to have, even for a second, thought otherwise? This was a business transaction that had gotten messy – for me at least. I never should have gotten attached. Heaving a large sigh, I slumped a little lower into the hard-backed chair in the waiting room. I tried to push aside thoughts of Jules, but it was almost impossible.

 

I kept picturing him standing outside that door, watching as I raced in toward my sister. And how he didn’t care enough to come after me, to be there for me.

 

My eyes burned a little as tears threatened to come. I sniffled and tried to hold them back, but it was hard. Be strong. For Bree, if you can’t do it for yourself, a little voice in my head told me seriously.

 

I nodded my head. For Bree. I could do this for her.

 

Two hours went by as I tortured myself with thoughts of Jules and Bree both. I was getting antsy. I’d had about three cups of coffee, peed like four times, and had flipped listlessly through every magazine on that table. Bree should have been out by now, right?

 

I glanced over at the nurse at the station. “Anything?” I asked her, even though I knew that if the operation was done the doctor would have been out here telling me himself.

 

Carly gave me a sympathetic look and shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t heard anything yet. I’m sure everything’s fine, though.”

 

She couldn’t know that and neither of us were stupid enough to believe that she could. Normally, I might appreciate the useless platitudes, but I was so on edge about everything that they just grated. Clenching my hands tightly together, I shook my head. “You can’t know that,” I whispered.

 

She heard me, but she only shook her head. She didn’t have any answers, and it was unfair to expect her to.

 

For another twenty minutes, I hung out in the waiting room. I’d begun to pace anxiously, needing at least an update on my sister’s condition, but there was nothing. I was about to go back to Carly and yell at her, even though I knew it was her fault. Thankfully, a nurse that I recognized as Dr. Miller’s assistant came down the hall.

 

“Ms. Gilson?” he asked me uncertainly.

 

I nodded, rushing over to him. “Is it my sister? How is she? Are they—?”

 

He held up a hand to stop my slew of questions. “We’re still working on here. There have been… complications.”

 

I felt as though a vice was suddenly squeezing all of the air out of my chest. I felt like throwing up all the coffee I’d just drank. “Is she okay?”

 

“We’re doing everything we can. She’s stable and Dr. Miller is working hard to make sure that she stays that way. We’ll give you another update as soon as we can, but please let us do our work.”

 

I wanted to yell and scream at him, to tell him that that was my sister in there, but I refrained. It was only because I knew that the longer he was out here dealing with me, the less time he was there helping to save my sister’s life.

 

So I let him turn and hurry back down the hall the way he’d come. But I wasn’t happy about it. I hated this hopeless feeling welling in my chest.

 

There were complications. And I couldn’t do anything. Not a damn thing.

 

“Sir, can I help you with something?” Anna the nurse asked.

 

I might have thought she was talking to me if it weren’t for the sir. I didn’t even turn around at the sound of her voice, but I did when I heard his.

 

“No, I’m just here to offer some support.”

 

It was Jules. I thought maybe I was imagining it, my mind finally snapping and just projecting the thing that I wanted most right now, but when I turned around I saw him. He was real, standing there in his leather pants and that form fitting t-shirt, looking good. Looking great. His hair was messed up from wearing a helmet earlier and his mouth was set in a grim line, but he was here.

 

“Allison—” he began, sounding like maybe he was on the verge of an apology or who knew what else, but I didn’t want to hear it right now. I didn’t want to hear anything. I just wanted him to hold me.

 

I hurried forward and slammed myself against his rock-hard chest. The warmth from his body spread out, sliding into my own and warming the cheek I pressed against him. His large, muscled arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer to him. “They said there’s been complications,” I murmured against his shirt.

 

He didn’t tell me that everything would be alright or not to worry. Instead, he just held me tightly and when I began to cry into his shirt, he let me.

 

We stayed like that for a while, him holding me against his chest. When I’d finally run out of tears, he pulled me back and wiped away their salty trails from my cheeks. He offered me a small smile, then took me by the hands. He led me to one of the hard seats and urged me to sit down. I did and a moment later, I was relieved to see that he sat down right next to me. He held my hand, stroking his thumb over the back of it soothingly.

 

I couldn’t say how long we stayed like that, his hand gripping mine, but at some point, I allowed my head to rest against his shoulder. We didn’t speak, though I knew he wanted to say something and there were things inside of me that I’d have to get off my chest at some point. Right now, I just needed Bree to be alright. Until then, everything else could wait.

 

Finally, after what felt like hours, I saw Dr. Miller coming down the hall.

 

I tensed up, worried, no, terrified that something had gone really wrong. Maybe the complications had caused some serious problems. Maybe Bree was—

 

I couldn’t bring myself to think it. She was my whole world; I couldn’t lose her.

 

Together, Jules and I stood. He held my hand still and I was grateful, because I wasn’t sure that I could even stand without that support at the very least.

 

“Doctor, is she going to be okay?”

 

He pulled off his face mask and smiled at me. That smile spoke volumes and I felt something ease in my chest as an automatic reaction. “She’s going to be fine.”

 

I let out a choking laugh of relief. “Really?”

 

He nodded. “Yes. There were some complications and it was a little rocky there for a minute, but she’s a tough girl and she hung in there. The heart seems good and so long as she takes the medications, there’s no reason it won’t take.” His smile widened. “We’ll go over the prescriptions and make sure that she goes through recovery properly. In another thirty days, she can finally go home.”

 

I laughed again, it was watery and kind of embarrassing, but I was so filled with happiness and relief that I wanted to give everyone a hug. But I didn’t. Instead, I just gave Jules a hug and held him tightly. He returned the gesture. Around my back, he offered the doctor his hand. “Thank you, doctor, for all you’ve done.”

 

I could imagine that Dr. Miller was wondering who the hell he was, but I was too lost in my own euphoria to care about the little details like that right now.

 

My sister had made it through surgery. She had a new heart. She was going to be okay. And I was wrapped up in Jules’s arms.

 

We spent a little more time talking to the doctor and then I asked to see my sister. He allowed it, but only through the window. She was sleeping right now and needed to recover, so it was important that she be allowed to get as much rest as possible. He promised that I would be able to see her as soon as she was up again.

 

I thanked him a hundred more times, then he went over the medicines that Bree would need to take while she was healing. They’d have to keep her at the hospital for another month while she recovered to make sure there weren’t any issues with the heart or the medications, but he said that he didn’t see any of that happening.

 

In just a month, I would be able to take my sister home.

 

Jules thanked the doctor again, then we left the hospital to get some fresh air. We didn’t go farther than the parking lot, but I’d been cooped up in that waiting room too long for it to appeal to me in any way.

 

Once we were outside, I turned to Jules. “You came back,” I stated plainly. I wasn’t even sure what else to say. I was so relieved about my sister that I hadn’t had time to worry about what Jules’s return meant for us.

 

He shoved his hands into his front pockets and nodded his head. “Yeah, I did.” He took a deep breath, then let it out a second later. The wind picked up his blonde hair and tossed it about, the breeze a little cool, but not uncomfortable. “I… I never should have just left you here in the first place, but I really hate hospitals.”

 

I raised an eyebrow at him, folding my arms across my chest. If he thought he was getting off that easily, then he was sorely mistaken. I wanted answers, no matter how relieved I was that he was here.

 

He laughed a little, then shook his head. “I know, I know. You deserve a better answer than that, right?”

 

I lifted one shoulder in half a shrug. “I think so. I mean… what were you doing at my apartment?” I flushed, remembering how terrified I’d been when Shae was there. I held myself a little closer. “And all those calls to my phone? You were the one who broke it off. You got scared and told me—”

 

“You’re right. I did get scared.” He took a step closer and reached for me, his right hand wrapping around my upper arm and squeezing lightly. His grip wasn’t vicelike or even that firm. It was just a light touch and a squeeze, telling me he was there, but also reminding me that I could pull away whenever I wanted.

 

But I didn’t.

 

I let him continue, trying to keep the levels of hope in my system at a manageable level in case this wasn’t going where I wanted it to.

 

“I got scared, because… because in a lot of ways you remind me of a woman that I loved once.”

 

That… wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. No one liked being told about a previous lover, especially in the context of being like her. Was that the only reason things even got semi-serious with us?

 

“We had been together for a long time. She was my sub,” he conceded, his voice dropping slightly just in case there were some doctors who liked smoke breaks. “And for a while, I thought she was my perfect match.”

 

“Why are you telling me this?” I murmured. What good did hearing about his past epic romance do for me?

 

He smiled a little. “So, you understand why you made me so terrified.” He paused, then said, “Like you, Sandra was a natural submissive. She liked to follow orders, liked to give over control. She needed me to take care of her, and that’s all I ever wanted to do. To take care of her. But things got out of hand. Suddenly, she liked the punishments more than she liked the pleasure. She wanted—” He broke off, like he wasn’t sure how much to say. Ultimately, he shook his head and finished, “She went places that I didn’t want to go. But I didn’t realize that until it was too late.”

 

A sliver of fear ran down my spine, one of the very few I’d ever felt in conjunction with Jules. “Too late?” I questioned.

 

He nodded. “I hurt her. She pushed me and the lines blurred. I didn’t know when to stop, and she didn’t want to tell me to stop. I hurt her badly enough that she had to go to the hospital. After that, I decided I couldn’t do it anymore.”

 

The hospital? Oh, my god!

 

I was about to ask if she was alright, when he pressed forward. “We talked about it afterward, but she couldn’t understand why I was so upset. At least, not consciously. But subconsciously, she’d begun to flinch. She both looked forward to and dreaded punishments. There was this trust broken between us, and I knew that it was my fault. I should have known where the lines were.”

 

I frowned. “But… she pushed you to it, didn’t she?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders and glanced away. It was dark outside and the lights from the city were visible, making the view kind of pretty since we were up on a hill. The closest you could see to stars out here with all the light pollution. After a moment, he said, “Maybe. But it didn’t matter. She gave me control, and I lost it. She was the one who got hurt. I couldn’t take that back, so I broke it off. And I made myself a promise to never do this again. No more Dom/sub relationships – no matter how I enjoyed them.”

 

“So why did you do it with me?” I asked curiously.

 

“Because you were a natural at it. And… and I needed this. I needed to prove to myself that I could be trusted again.”

 

We both fell silent as I processed all that he was telling me. I had sensed that he was afraid of something, but I hadn’t really understood what. Now, I at least had a better picture. “Why are you telling me all of this?” I asked quietly.

 

His blue eyes found mine and held my gaze. “Because this sort of relationship is based on trust. If you can’t trust me – and I can’t trust you – then it’ll never work. Part of trusting is telling you what you’re getting into and letting you make up your own mind about it. It’s not fair for me to make decisions for you, not even for your own safety, because… in the end, you have all the control.”

 

I have the control.

 

It was a strange concept. Despite being the adult and taking care of someone else, it had always felt like my life was spiraling out of control. Like I had no say in what was happening around me. But that was it, wasn’t it? I’d felt that this weekend, for that short time I’d spent with Jules. Like I had the power, even when I gave it to him.

 

“So… what are you saying?” I prompted him, feeling a fluttery, excited feeling build in my chest. I’d long since let the stirring hope in my chest run wild.

 

He stepped closer and said simply, “I’m saying that I messed up. I was cruel to you just to get you to leave, because I was afraid of how much I’d already come to care for you. I’m saying that I’m a complete asshole and that I’m sorry. I’m here, because I want you, Allison. I need you. Please, take me back?”

 

I stared at him, letting his words wash over me and collide with my own thoughts until they were a sea tossed tangle of roiling emotions. I wanted him, too. The world he presented to me, I wanted that, too.

 

So I put my hands against his hard stomach, shifting them until they found his hips. I tilted my chin up and smiled at him. “Of course I’ll take you back. Because I do trust you, Jules.”

 

He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine, pulling me close until our bodies were pressed together tightly. It was the best kiss we’d shared yet, because for just a moment, I couldn’t tell where he ended and I began.