Lexi
Standing in my empty bedroom, I see that Ms. Jackie did pack everything for me. Dan told me I would be going to stay with Ethan. I put up a fight about it with Dan and Jon, and I even told Ms. Jackie I would be happier going to a hotel. That way I could change locations more often and not be in one place for too long. That didn’t get me far with the three of them, though. They kept saying they weren’t going to let me be alone.
Ethan stayed quiet the whole time I was talking to them, which surprised me. I’m sure he had plenty to say, but I got the feeling even he knew this had to be my choice.
I’ve escaped him before. I’ve picked myself up without anyone to help and this time is no different.
Walking away from them, I look at the refrigerator magnets again. I know Dan made sure there was nothing left in my house to show he had been here, but that doesn’t stop me looking.
I pull the magnets off the picture of Dan, Mom, Dad, and me. I smile at the memories of a time when my life was good.
I told the police everything they wanted to know while Ms. Jackie took Ethan outside. I think she knew I wasn’t sure about telling him everything just yet. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep it from him now, though.
As they say, the quicker you pull off the Band-Aid the less it hurts. But, this isn’t about hurting me. This is me telling him about the biggest mistake of my life, and how much it has cost me.
“Adam’s here with my car, when you’re ready,” Ethan says, and I turn to Ethan standing next to me, then look back at the picture.
“So, am I paying you to babysit me now? Because I don’t have four million dollars.” I look at him over my shoulder, then back to the fridge and continue taking the magnets off.
“Shut up and get in the car,” he says. Please. I hear a little humor in his voice.
“You call me every day. If I don’t answer, you call Jon.” Dan points to Jon, who gives me that look of ‘if you don’t, I'll come to the apartment to see if you're okay.’
“I will, I promise.” I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.
“I’ll be calling Ethan, but that doesn’t mean you don’t still have to call me,” Ms. Jackie says as she walks over to me. “You will fight this time, because you’re not alone. She pulls me into a hug.
I’ve never been alone. Dan has always been there for me, but there's a reason I choose to do this by myself, and Dan and Ms. Jackie know why. I know that Dan wants me to stay in one place; he’s always telling me that he misses us living close to each other. The reason I don’t, is so Sam doesn’t find me and hurt Dan.
“You know it’s not safe,” I say, looking at the three of them.
“We know, and we have your back,” Jon says, and the three of them nod their heads in agreement.
“I can’t—”
“Lexi, we don’t care,” Ms. Jackie says and looks over at Adam smiling at me.
I do miss being around Dan and Jon. Dan, Jon, and Ms. Jackie know the risk they're putting themselves in, but Ethan doesn’t.
“I’ll have to tell him, won’t I?” I look at Dan.
He looks at Ethan behind me. “It won’t be the worst thing you do.” Dan smiles at me, and I stand there and shake my head at him.
“I’ll message you when I get there,” I say, giving him and Jon another kiss. Turning to Ethan I say, “Let’s go, then.” then head to the door.
Sitting in the car, I look out of the window. Ethan hasn’t actually said anything to me, and it makes me wonder what he's thinking. Leaning my head on the window, I close my eyes. They're so heavy, and I just want to sleep.
“Lexi.” I hear Ethan calling my name and I slowly open my eyes. “We’re home,” he says, bent down next to my open car door.
Rubbing my eyes to wake up a little bit, I realize that even though I only slept about five minutes, I still feel a little bit better.
Dropping on the couch, I turn to face Ethan. “Do you want to ask questions?” I ask him. I would like him to ask them now, so I won’t have to talk about this day again. “I don’t like talking about it, but…”
“How about you tell me what you want to tell me,” Ethan says, taking a sip of his whiskey.
I don’t know where to start. I don’t want him knowing the wrong choices I’ve made and what they’ve cost me. I’ve learned to look past them—to live with them.
“I’ll tell you, then you can make your choice with what you want to happen between us, but I don’t want it mentioned again. Yes, I’m running from my past again, but I feel safer that way,” I tell him, taking my shoes off and putting them on the couch close to my body.
“Okay.”
Looking at him for a moment, I wonder if he’s ever felt lost before; if he’s ever felt this much pain. I mean, he's a businessman, so he’s bound to have felt pain when he loses a business plan or something. But, has he ever been hurt personally?
“Everyone makes stupid decisions, and I made mine when I was eighteen. I dated the bad boy who my parents hated. He was nineteen and...” I stop talking, thinking about how to carry on with this conversation. “At one of the parties we went to, we were drinking and thought it would be funny to get married, but it wasn’t funny. We got back, and my parents went crazy and told me that I made the mistake so I had to live with it.” I walk over to the kitchen to get a drink of water.
Ethan stays standing with his back to me. I have to tell him why I keep running and that only makes me scared of what can happen if I stay here.
Sitting back down next to him, I finish telling him my life story. “My parents told me that if I was old enough to get married, then I was old enough to move out and find a place of our own. Anyway, the honeymoon phase times lasted a month, and then it all came down fast. Like my dad said, a relationship that starts fast, will end just as fast. He began drinking, started doing drugs again, and the abuse started up. My brother came once, and fought him and told him that if he touched me again it would be the last thing he did. It didn’t stop him. Then my brother had enough and he and my dad took me back home. I was able to get a divorce because we couldn’t find him and he didn’t answer the publication summons. The divorce didn’t matter to Sam, though. He still found me and harassed me every day. Sam found me and came for me every day. Once, he even got me when I was coming out of the grocery store, but I ran away when the manager came out after seeing Sam trying to drag me to the car.”
Walking over to the window, I start rubbing my head. I feel Ethan standing next to me. “My name used to be Teresa Campbell, then it was Jessica Jones, then it was Lizzie Taylor. Now I’m Lexi Jackson, and tomorrow, I'll be someone new.”
“You’ll be staying Lexi Jackson. He knows where you are now. Do you think Dan, Jon, Jackie or I'll let him get close to you?” Ethan asks, looking out of the window.
I start laughing to myself. “You think I’m worried about what he’s going to do to me? I’m not. If it keeps my family safe, I don’t care what he does to me.” I turn to face him. “He came to the house for me, and my dad told him that if he touched me that he would kill him.” I take a deep breath. “He told my father that the only way he would leave, was with me. He took a step toward me so my dad took one in front of me.” My voice starts to get shaky again, and I feel Ethan’s thumb on my cheek wiping the tears away, “I stood there and watched him shoot my dad. I watched my father die in front of me because I wouldn’t go with him. Before he ran, he told me that he would always find me, and if anyone got in his way the same would happen to them.” Shivers run through my body, and Ethan sees it too. Taking his jacket off, he wraps it around my shoulders. “After my dad’s funeral, Dan gave me money and told me to go, and not tell anyone where I was, and if I wanted to call him to only use pay-phones at least an hour or so away.” I walk back over to the couch, “I did and he found me, then I did it again and he found me. Sam always finds me.” I lean back into the sofa.
“Maybe now is the time to stop running and finally live. I’ve seen you not care about anything and live,” Ethan tells me sitting back down next to me.
“That was when I knew he wasn’t here. Now, I'll be looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to show his face—”
“Get that thought out of your head. I won’t let you leave, or let him come near you. So, forget leaving and start living,” Ethan says not looking at me and I don’t turn to face him either.
I’m too tired to talk about this with him. I have to talk to Dan first and make sure he knows what I’m planning on doing. I won’t do anything unless he’s on the same page as me.
***
I’m not even sure when I fell asleep last night. Opening my eyes, I look around and see I'm in Ethan’s room. Why am I in his room?
Going to the bathroom, I brush my teeth and freshen up. Walking out of the bedroom, I hear Ethan raising his voice at someone. I stop for a minute to listen to what they're saying.
“My company, my rules, and if I want all my meetings here, then that’s where they'll fucking be.”
“Yes, Mr. Knight. Is this where you would like me to be or—”
“Go to the office. If I need you here, I'll call,” Ethan snaps, cutting Selena off. He’s not being very nice to her at all.
“Yes, sir. There have also been a lot calls from Angie. She said it’s very important that you talk to her.”
“I don’t care,” Ethan coldly replies to her.
“Yes, sir. Also, Emily called. She needs to talk to you about something very important,” Selena tells him.
“Another fucking reason why she's saying no to me,” Ethan bites back.
I have no idea what's happening between those two and why she hates him so much, but it’s not going well for Ethan.
“She said she would like to talk to you about a man named Edward Cult. What—”
“Tell her to fuck off,” he cuts her off again.
I walk over to the sitting room, looking towards Ethan first, then to Selena who’s smiling at me. Pouring myself some coffee, I sit at the table and pick at the croissants on the plate.
“Tell Emily, that if she wants to ever talk business with me again, she will never speak that name.” Ethan waves his hand to her and sits down next to me.
He looks so tense right now. Everything Selena has told him has been bad. I watch Selena close the door behind her as she leaves, before turning to Ethan who's filling his glass with whiskey.
When he sets the glass down on the table, I pull it close to me. “It’s too early to be drinking,” I say in a small voice, and he looks at me. I place my hand on the back of his neck. “Talk to me. Who's Edward Cult? That name has irritated you today,” I tell him, moving closer to him.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Ethan pulls my chair closer to him then takes my coffee.
“I feel fine. How are you feeling today?”
“I’m a big boy, I can look after myself.” He gives me a wink and smiles, and I can’t help but smile back at him.
“I bet you could.” Breaking off some of my croissant, I take a bite as I look at him. “What's happening between us? I mean, I’m not your call girl anymore, so…” I bite my lower lip. “I’m going to talk to Dan today, and tonight, I’ll leave—”
“You’re not leaving. I’ve spoken to Dan, and told him you will be staying here and we are going to fight Sam this time,” Ethan cuts in, and I look at him. “Do you remember the reason I paid four million dollars for you to be my call girl?”
I place a piece of croissant in my mouth, and think about this question. “You wanted to have sex with me, and I did, so I must be the most expensive sex you’ve had,” I say, drinking the whiskey he poured for himself.
“I didn’t pay four million dollars to have sex with you. I spent four million dollars so you would go out with me. I knew you wouldn’t date me after our first meeting, so I was willing to pay whatever you asked for… To date you,” Ethan tells me. I look at him for a moment, wondering what I should do now. My ex-husband is back in my life, and I’m trying to keep those around me safe, and here he is, talking about wanting to date me.
Getting off the chair, I take the glass and fill it up again. I take my phone out of my pocket as it rings. “Hey,” I say.
“I’m downstairs, coming up now,” Dan says ending the call. Drinking my whiskey, I look over at the door.
“It’s open,” Ethan shouts. Seeing Dan and Jon in the doorway brings a smile to my face.
“It’s a bit early to be drinking, don’t you think?” Dan walks over to me, and takes my glass off me.
Leaning on the bar, I watch them shake hands with Ethan. “So, what’s your plan, then?” Dan asks, then sits at the table and starts eating the breakfast which is laid out on the table.
“She's staying here with me,” Ethan says, and I start shaking my head looking at the floor.
“I’m leaving tonight. I have enough money to last me until I can get back on my feet,” I say looking back up at them. “I’m not risking losing my family because you think that you can pay—”
“I'm not paying you anything. Jackie canceled our contract from the fucking start. The minute you signed and left, I tore it up,” Ethan shouts at me.
“All this has been so you can get me to fucking date you? Well, my answer is no, and I'm leaving tonight,” I tell him, and look over at Dan and Jon. My eyes follow Dan as he walks toward me.
Standing in front of me he cups my face. “I don’t want you to keep moving around,” he whispers so only I can hear what he’s saying. “Are you saying no because Sam is here, or are you saying no because you don’t want to be around Ethan?”
I need a moment to myself. I feel like I’m alone here, and no one cares how worried I am about what Sam will do or who he will hurt. On top of all that, I can’t believe Ethan went through all this just to date me. Why the hell would I date him? He’s still an asshole. An asshole that still has my skin on fire when he touches me.
Seeing my phone flash as it rings, I see it’s Helen. “Hi,” I say as I pace around the kitchen.
“The girls are all going out tonight, want to join us?” she asks.
It’s perfect timing; I need a night out, even though Sam is out there and looking for me. It hasn’t ever stopped me from living my life before, so why should it now?
“I would love to go out,” I tell her, and I hear a chair creak on the floor behind me. “Let me know what time and which bar.”
“Great, I'll send a message. See you tonight,” Helen says.
Hanging up with her I put my phone on the counter. “I’m going out with the girls tonight, want to come?” I look at Dan, and he looks back at me.
“Would love to. Message me the time and place.” Dan walks over to me as Jon walks over to the door. “Just so you know, I’m on Ethan’s side, and if he's willing to pay four million dollars just to date you, he’s willing to do a lot more to keep you safe.” Dan kisses me on the cheek and pulls me in for a hug.
As they both leave, I look at Ethan sitting on the chair playing with his phone on the table, but his eyes locked with mine. It’s amazing how many words can be said by just looking at someone the way he’s looking at me now. ‘I won’t let you leave. You’re staying with me. Trust me.’ His phone starts ringing, making me break eye contact with him. He answers the call, and I walk over to the bedroom, to think about what I want to do.