Ethan
Looking at my watch for the hundredth time, it seems as if the second hand is moving slower than it should. Three hours have passed, and not one doctor or nurse has come to tell me what's happening. All I want is for someone to tell me everything is okay, but I’m not getting anything. Then again, it might be best for them to not come if they can’t give me something definitive. I don’t want to lose my temper and start shouting at the medical staff. That's the last thing they need to hear.
Rubbing my forehead, I look over at Tanya sleeping on the chairs. Travis stares at me with a look that tells me he doesn’t have the words to comfort me. Standing up, I walk back over to the door, hoping I'll see or hear something. All I hear are the mumblings of everyone else in the waiting room. Some of Jackie's girls came in when Lexi was admitted and haven’t left since they got here.
Every time the doors open and close behind me, the smell of medicines and disinfectant assaults my senses.
The door flies open and a nurse hurries out. My eyes freeze on the floor, covered in blood-soaked bandages. As the nurse opens the doors to rush back into the room, I get a quick glance at Lexi lying on the table. As I take a step closer, hoping to hear something, the door suddenly swings shut.
Damn it! I stare at the doors again, waiting for something—anything. All I can do is wait. Turning around, I see my mom looking over at me. Even though I’m standing this far from her, her eyes tell me everything is going to be okay.
“Lexi Jackson?” I turn around at the sound of her name to see the same doctor that met us at the ambulance.
“Yes?” I look over at Dan as he comes over stand to with me.
“She’s still unconscious, but she’s stable. All we can do now is wait for her to wake up. She lost a lot of blood, which prevented us from being able to completely fix the damage during surgery. Once she’s awake, and her body has had a little time to recover from the initial trauma, we’ll go back in.” The doctor stops and looks at Dan and me. “Is Lexi married?”
“I’m her boyfriend,” I tell her, and the look on her face is enough to crush me. What has happened to Lexi that has the doctor so concerned?
“The stab wound…” she stops for a moment. “The stab wound cut into one of her ovaries and fallopian tubes. This has significantly decreased the chances of her conceiving naturally. She might not be able to get pregnant.” She watches me as I stare at her, letting the words sink in.
Okay, so we might not be able to have children. I can live with that as long as Lexi is alive and well. “There’s only one thing I’m concerned with right now. Is she going to survive this?”
“The next twenty-four-hours are critical and depend entirely on her. If there are no further complications, then she will probably need to stay in the hospital for a week or two before she can go home. She’ll be on bed rest for a short while once she goes home, but should be fine from there,” the doctor tells me.
“Can I see her?”
“The nurses are moving her to a private room. They'll call you when she’s settled.” The doctor gives us a nod and walks back into the room.
Sitting in the closest chair I can find, I don’t know whether to be relieved or still be worried. I have to believe Lexi will beat this. She came through the hardest part, now she just has to wake up to get to the finish line.
“Ethan,” Dan says, sitting in the chair next to me. “I’m not sure what your plans for children are, but Lexi has always wanted a family. She knew she couldn’t even dream about it until Sam was no longer in the picture, but after she knew she was safe, she definitely wanted children. This is going to be a devastating blow, but—”
“Dan, I’m not leaving her. All the doctor said was that it could be more difficult for her, not that it would be impossible. When that time comes, we'll think of something, But, until the day I die, I’m not leaving her,” I say. I walk away from him before I say something we’ll both regret.
I know Dan is coming from a good place, but does he really think I would leave if Lexi couldn’t have children? I'll always love her, with or without children.
“Ethan, you don’t have to be—”
“I know, Mom. Before you say anything else, I know. I just need everyone to realize that I don’t care about anything else right now. All I want to do is see her, to hold her, to…” Sitting in the chair, I put my head into my hands and let the tears fall down my face. “I want to tell her that I love her,” I say through sobs.
Mom puts her hand on my head and pulls me closer to her. “I know. I promise this pain you’re feeling will all be over the second she wakes up.” Kneeling in front of me, she puts her hand on my cheek and just looks at me for a moment. “And when she does wake up, you never forget to tell her every day how much you love her,” she says.
I take her hand from my cheek and hold it in mine, then lean forward to give my mom a kiss on the cheek. My phone rings in my pocket, so I take it out and cancel the call without even looking to see who it was.
“Give me your phone,” Travis says, putting his hand out as it rings again. “Hand it over.” I place my phone in his hand and watch as he walks away from us.
“I guess you're now on leave from work,” my mom tells me as she stands up. I look over at Travis talking on my phone. “Now that you’ve finally forgiven him, he’s not going to fuck it up,” she adds with a little laugh. I know he won’t mess anything up and I’m glad he took over, because my mind isn’t in the right place to focus on work.
***
“Lexi Jackson’s family?” a woman calls out, and I trip over my feet trying to get to the nurse. She points at Dan and then at me. “Brother?”
“That’s me,” Dan tells her.
“At the moment, we can only allow the immediate family,” she apologizes. I look at the nurse, dumbfounded. Does she really think she's going to stop me from seeing her? “Don’t be alarmed with all the wires and the beeping of the monitors. They’re there so we can keep an eye on her.” She looks at Dan the entire time she's talking.
“This is her boyfriend. Can’t he come in?” Dan asks her.
“I’m sorry, but no. Not until she wakes up.” The nurse looks over at me, then back at Dan.
Dan looks at her, then over at Jon, then back at the nurse. “Only one person can be with her until she wakes up?” he asks.
“Yes, I’m sorry,” she replies. She doesn’t look sorry.
“Well, I am her support person, and I’m saying he will be staying with her tonight.” I look at Dan pointing at me. There is no way I’ll ever be able to thank him enough for this. “I'll be back to see her in the morning,” he tells the nurse.
“Thank you,” I tell him. There was no way I could have gone any longer without seeing her. Putting me first is the kindest thing anyone other than Lexi or my family has ever done for me.
“If you would like to follow me.”
I look back at the nurse walking away from us. I have to jog to catch up to her since she’s already half-way down the hall. Stopping in front of Lexi's room, I look in the doorway. For the first time in my life, I have no words. She’s so pale, and wires are coming out from everywhere.
“Please don’t touch the wires. Keep talking to her even if she doesn’t respond. She can hear you. Sir, are you listening?” she asks.
“Yes, don’t touch the wires, and talk to her,” I reply without taking my eyes off Lexi. Walking into the room, I stop by the bed. “Can I touch her?”
“Of course,” the nurse tells me while she looks at the monitors and fiddles with the tubes and lines.
Placing my hand on Lexi’s, I lean in closer. “Hello, beautiful,” I say, placing a feather light kiss on her lips. “How about you wake up now? We’ve been waiting to see those beautiful eyes.” Breathing in her scent, I pause at her neck and allow my lips to linger just another second. I pull the chair closer to the bed and sit there holding her hand. “Everyone’s here. Dan, Jon, Tanya, Mom, Jackie, and some of the girls from your work. Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that Travis and I are talking again.” The doctor walks in looking at the monitor, writing something down. “How long until she wakes up?”
“That’s up to Lexi. There were a few times we thought we lost her, but she must have something worth fighting for.” She gives me a look that says, she’s here for you.
“She’s a fighter,” I say, looking back at Lexi.
***
Feeling a hand playing with my hair, I lift my head off the bed and look up into the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen. “I must be special… You’re not on the phone,” Lexi whispers.
“You’re awake.” I stand up and move closer to her. “You’re awake,” I whisper against her lips. I can hear her wheezing as she breathes.
“Water,” she whispers in a raspy voice.
Looking at the table on the side, I go to get the cup but then wonder how would be best for her to drink it. “I’m just going to ask if I can lift the bed.” I go over to the door, but stop as the nurse walks into the room.
“Good morning, Mr. Knight. I see you finally woke up.” She gives me a smile. “Lexi told us not to wake you,” she tells me, walking over to Lexi.
“I’m only going to say this once.” I look at the nurse. " I don’t care what she says, her health always comes first. So, if you have to wake me up or kick me out of the room, then do it.” There is no way Lexi is putting herself second to me. “Fuck her health, she always comes first,” I add, looking at Lexi as the nurse brings her bed up into a sitting position.
“Tell me when it gets uncomfortable,” the nurse tells her.
“That’s enough.” Lexi takes in a deep breath, but you can see the pain on her face. If I could take all the pain away from her, I would.
“The doctor is on her wa–never mind. The doctor is here to see you.”
The doctor walks in, checks the monitors, then looks over at me. “How are we feeling?”
I walk over to Lexi and take her hand in mine.
“Tired. My body hurts, everywhere and I’m really thirsty,” Lexi tells her.
“The first surgery went well. Once I feel confident you're strong enough, we'll go back in and finish the internal damage repairs. We didn’t believe you would survive if we spent more time on it when you first arrived.” She looks at the chart then back at Lexi. “Lexi, there is no easy way to say this. While you were in surgery, there were some complications.” The doctor looks at me for a split-second.
“Due to these complications, we had to remove one of your ovaries and a fallopian tube. I’m really sorry, but due to your injuries, the chances of conceiving naturally have been significantly reduced.”
I feel Lexi’s grip loosening around my hand, but I keep my grip tight on hers.
Nodding her head, she licks her bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth. “Is my brother here?” she asks, not looking up at me.
“Yes.”
“I would like to see him, please.” She looks back at the doctor. “How long before I can go home?” In the space of two minutes, I’ve lost her all over again.
“You’ll be here at least a week to ten days, then you’ll be discharged and advised to remain on bed rest for a few weeks.”
Lexi pulls her hand out of mine. “Can you get my brother. Please?” she asks, still looking at the doctor. I want to shout or throw something, so I leave her room without saying another word.
I can’t believe she even thinks I give a shit about having children right now. Walking into the waiting room, I grab a chair and throw it across the room. Travis walks over to me, but I push him away.
“She wants to talk to you. The doctor talked to her about her possibilities of getting pregnant, and that was it. She didn’t even look at me after that,” I tell Dan. If anyone can talk to her, it’s him. She doesn’t want me around, and I won’t risk making her uncomfortable. I need her to get better.
Dan looks over at Jon before looking back at me. “I'll talk to her,” he tells me.
“Don’t talk to her about that. You tell her that I don’t give a fuck. All I want is her! Fuck everything else!” I shout, causing everyone in the waiting room to stare at me. I couldn’t give two shits what they think.
Travis comes forward and stands in front of me. “Let Dan talk to her while we go back to your place and get Lexi some clothes.” My eyes move to my mom standing behind him. I can tell she's thinking the same thing. “It’ll give you some time to cool down before you see Lexi again.”
“Fine. Tell her that I didn’t back down the first time, and I’m sure as hell not backing down this time. She's leaving this hospital with me, and no one is going to stop me,” I tell Dan. I'll fight for her to hear me out and stay with me.
“I think it’s just the shock of it. Let me talk to her, Ethan. Go home and take a shower. Look at you. You still have her blood on you. Come back when you’ve had time to calm down and clean up a little,” he says, and I look down at my hands. He’s right. I can still see traces of blood that I missed.
“Please, make her listen,” I plead quietly.
“I will.”
As he walks away, I look over at Travis then make my way toward the exit. I know Dan will be on my side. I’m confident he will fight for me. He let me stay with her before seeing her himself. He knows how much Lexi means to me—she’s my world, my absolute everything.