Last night, I barely slept. My mind had been racing with thoughts of Jason and all he’d done for Luxe and me without even being asked. Then, to top it off, I’d had to make things awkward just as I always did. Never fails.

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I threw my blankets off of me and forced myself out of bed. If I could have just stayed snuggled in there all day, I would have. I snuck down the hall to Luxe’s room, and saw my precious sleeping boy with his Superman and Spider-Man action figures tucked into bed next to him. A smile stretched across my lips, and happiness flooded my heart. Kissing Luxe on his forehead, he barely stirred, so I quietly retreated from his room to begin getting ready for the work day.

My phone vibrated briefly, alerting me that I had a text message. Looking at the screen, I saw it was from Zach. My heart dropped into my stomach.

Please don’t cancel on him again...

Zach: I’ll be there at 7:30 to pick up Luxe.

Well, holy shit, I thought to myself. Tuesday was already off to a surprisingly pleasant start.

Fresh out of the shower with a towel still wrapped around me, I heard a knock at the door and quickly grabbed my phone. I clicked the middle button to view the time. It read 6:00.

Who the hell is knocking on my door at this hour?

I rushed down the hall, reached the door, and peered through the peephole.

Jason.

Seriously? It was as though he’d timed it perfectly, popping over at the exact moment he’d catch me in only a towel. I pulled the door open a crack, hiding my body behind it as I peeked around the side of it to see what he was there for.

“Hello?”

“Hi. I must’ve caught you at a bad time...” He smirked mischievously, and it sent a warmth through my core.

This man was irresistible, and it frightened the hell out of me. But, it was also kind of nice. I’d never thought I’d be able to look at a man and see anything but distrust and betrayal, as if all men wore a big red stamp on their foreheads that read, I’m a heartbreaking liar! Stay away!

“I was just stopping by to see if you needed me to hang out with Luxe again today? I’m available, and we had a ton of fun yesterday, so it doesn't put me out by any means.”

There went my heart, completely melting into a puddle at my feet. Maybe Jason was a superhero and didn’t have ulterior motives. Again, he’d left me speechless.

“So, is that a yes or a no?” Jason’s voice rumbled through me. Then, I caught his gaze peeking through the crack in the door. I looked down at myself. He could definitely see the side of my body, covered only in the towel. I hadn't realized I’d moved at all.

“Uh, yeah, bad timing,” I said awkwardly. “Just got out of the shower. But, no, you’re free today. His dad is picking him up. Thank you, though.” I was nervously rambling. I scooted behind the door again.

Jason’s face clouded with disappointment, but I could tell he was trying to hide it. “I’m sorry about the bad timing. But, okay. If you need anything, or if he bails again, I’m here in a heartbeat. Don’t hesitate...” His voice was firm, but it trailed off as his bright blue eyes pierced mine. Then, he nodded his head toward me to say goodbye and turned away.

“Th-thank you,” I stammered.

He looked back my way and winked just before I closed the door.

Locking the deadbolt and leaning up against the door, I let out a sigh. Heat rushed into my cheeks. There was nothing more intimidating than being covered by a mere towel in front of a man who was sexy as sin. At that point, I was selfishly hoping Zach would cancel.

***

AFTER A LONG WORKDAY, I wanted nothing more than to hop in the tub for a relaxing bubble bath, sip on a glass of pink moscato, and eat a Twinkie. Not the classiest of pairings, but nonetheless, it sounded delicious and would hit the spot.

Setting my purse and keys down on the dining room table, I kicked off my heels and let them lay there. I’d worry about picking them up later. Right now, my main concern was to relax. Even though I missed my little guy more than anything, it was nice to have a break, and it didn’t happen often, so I’d have to take it while the chance was there. Staying strong for him during these past couple of weeks had taken its toll on me. An emotional breakdown was necessary, and I was sure it would accompany my wine and Twinkie in due time. I needed to get it all out so I could move the fuck on. For Luxe, and for myself.

A vibration in my pocket startled me, and I worried something was wrong with Luxe. I pulled my phone out and checked the screen. The name Jason Nightingale appeared in the white box on the display screen.

Butterflies swarmed my stomach, and, for a moment, I hesitated to open the message.

Deep breaths, I thought to myself before taking the plunge. I pressed the button.

Jason Nightingale: Since Spiderman is out fighting crime tonight, we’re going to get a couple coffees and walk around the park. I’ll be over at 7.

Laughter escaped me as I re-read the text message. Spiderman. So, Jason had paid attention to Luxe and remembered that was his favorite superhero. How could I say no to that?

Plus, he hadn’t even asked. He’d told me what the plan was. Well, there went the wine, Twinkies, and wallowing in self-pity for the evening. But, really, I would have been stupid not to go. I needed to get to know him if he was going to watch Luxe in the future, even occasionally.

But, I couldn’t agree to it that easily.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you asking me to come with you, or are you telling me what to do?

Shit. I hadn’t thrown in an emoticon at the end of the text, so he would probably take it literally and think I was a bitch.

Jason Nightingale: I wasn’t asking, I was definitely telling you. See you at 7.

With a smile on my face and my nerves going haywire, I scurried to put away my heels and freshen up. After another shower, I realized that he’d hear me through the walls and know I was putting in extra effort for just some coffee and a simple fucking walk. But, what’s done was done. I slipped into a pair of jeans, fuzzy socks, and brown boots, and threw on a thick cream-colored sweater.

Glancing down at my phone, I noticed I had to sit and wait anxiously for another half hour or so, which quickly led to my decision to go ahead and indulge in that godforsaken Twinkie I so badly craved. I contemplated on a glass of wine as well, but figured I’d better save that for later in the evening. Knowing my luck, it’d be needed.

Thirty minutes passed overwhelmingly fast, and as soon as I heard the playful knock on the door—five quick raps followed by two slower ones—my stomach filled with butterflies the size of birds. I plucked the two Twinkie wrappers up—yes, two—and hurried to throw them away. Then, with a deep breath, I answered the door.

“Well, hey there,” he greeted me.

His small, crooked grin caused my insides to become knotted and my knees to grow weak.

Fuck, he’s so delicious. This whole next door neighbor-slash-nanny thing is going to inevitably get me into trouble, I thought to myself. But he’s just the kind of trouble I might be willing to get myself into.

“Hey.” I brushed my crimson hair off my shoulder. “I just have to grab my coat and purse. You can come in for a minute, if you’d like.”

I stood frozen in the doorway, though, because I could tell Jason was holding back laughter. “What?” I asked defensively.

He brought his hand up to my face, rubbing his thumb against the corner of my mouth, sending a trail of wild electricity straight down my spine.

“You had a little white stuff on your lips.”

My cheeks filled with heat, and I immediately blurted out, “Oh, it was just a Twinkie!”

Jason somehow held back his laughter, probably to keep from embarrassing me even further. I was already humiliated, though. Suddenly, I wished I had indulged in that glass, or bottle, of wine.

I grabbed my things, and we walked to his pickup truck. It was old, but one could see it was his pride and joy and he took very good care of it. Jason walked me to the passenger door and opened it for me, helping me step inside.

Not only is he sexy as sin, but he’s a gentleman.

“Thank you,” I mumbled softly, surprised. Zach used to be chivalrous, but that faded quickly after I’d given birth to Luxe. It never quite made sense to me, how he could all of a sudden stop loving me like he used to.

The driver’s door squeaked as it opened, jolting me from my own thoughts. I was fully focused on the fact that I was sitting in the front seat of Jason’s pickup truck, about to go on a date with him.

A date. Could I even call it that?

My body began to shiver from the cold, and more than likely from my nerves as well. Jason turned the key in the ignition, and the truck let out a deep roar as it rumbled to life.

“Have you ever been to Dottie’s Cafe?” he asked through a clenched jaw, a feeble attempt to stop his teeth from chattering. He reached out and turned the heat on full blast.

“I can’t say that I have.” I could see my breath as it escaped past my lips.

“Well,  we’re about to change that. Dottie has the best coffee in the city.” He sounded confident, and he reached behind the seat and grabbed a wool blanket, passing it to me. “Here. It takes a bit for this ol’ girl to warm up.”

Grabbing the blanket from him, I placed it over my lap and gave him a warm smile, noticing I was far less nervous now and quite excited about the idea of an evening out with him.

We made a quick stop at the infamous Dottie’s Cafe, then Jason pulled his truck into a parking spot in the lot near the city park. I inhaled and exhaled, over and over, trying not to make it too obvious that I was mentally preparing myself for a more intimate setting with him. I reached for the door handle, but Jason reached out for my arm at the same time.

“Don’t.” He said it firmly.

“I’m fully capable of opening my own door.”

“I know you are, but I said don’t.” Jason playfully narrowed his eyes at me, and in response, I felt my bottom lip involuntarily pulling over my teeth. He hopped out of the truck and walked over to my side, opening the door for me. Our coffees were set on the side of the truck bed, which was good, because when he held his hand out to  me and I stepped down, my foot slipped off the running board and I careened forward. He caught me, steadying me against his muscular chest.

Great. What a splendid foot to start off on...

“You good?” he asked, brushing my hair from my face, his blue eyes locked with mine.

“Yep. Thanks.” I pushed away from him and rescued my coffee, hoping to maintain some shred of dignity.

We headed toward the park trail. The fountain was decorated in white lights, outlining the shape of it, since it was far too cold to have the water running this time of year.

I took the first sip of my coffee. He was right; it was pure liquid gold. I’d never had coffee that tasted this delicious, and a moan of delight escaped my lips just as I turned to face Jason, quite surprised by the magic he’d just introduced me to.

“This is amazing,” I groaned dramatically.

A smile pulled at Jason’s smooth lips. “I told you, the best coffee in the city.”

“I thought all coffee must taste the same,” I said, shrugging.

“How dare you.” Jason scoffed at the notion, leading us both into soft laughter.

At the trail, I looked around at the bare trees and snow-covered grass.

“So, tell me something. Pancakes or waffles?” Jason broke the silence with his deep voice.

I side-eyed him. “Pancakes, most definitely. They’re so much simpler than waffles, and they taste the same with the right amount of butter and syrup,” I rambled, before taking another sip of coffee just to shut myself up.

“I’d have to agree with you on that one.”

“Okay, what about...Twix or a peanut butter cup?” I asked.

“Peanut butter cup, no contest. What kind of question is that?” Jason rolled his eyes.

“Excuse me? Twix is the greatest candy bar ever invented.” I held my hand to my chest, in utter disbelief that he would choose anything over a Twix.

We walked together in silence, a comfortable silence, taking in the natural beauty around us as we drank the most delicious coffee in the whole city.

“Thank you.”

Jason stopped, looking at me. “For what?” His eyes had a glint to them, and the only other time I’d seen that look was from Zach. A long, long time ago.

My palms were instantly clammy in response, and I failed to find the words to speak.

He smiled, almost proudly, it seemed, like he was aware he made me speechless just by pinning me with his gaze.

“F-for the coffee,” I explained through chattering teeth. “And for watching Luxe for me the other day.” My body shivered, the warmth of the coffee long worn off now that we’d finished them.

“You don’t need to thank me for either of those things. I told you to come out tonight, and I offered to watch him because I wanted to.” Jason wriggled out of his coat.

“But why?” I asked as he stepped closer to me, closing the space between us and wrapping his thick coat around my shoulders. The heat from his body clung to it, sending chills down my spine but warming me at the same time.

“Because there’s just something about you, Leah Sullivan.” Jason placed his pointer finger beneath my chin, gently tilting it up as he lowered his lips to mine without hesitation, stealing away every ounce of oxygen in my lungs. “Let’s go get you warmed up.”

Jason wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we quickly made our way back to his truck. Once we both got in, he started it up and turned the heater on high.

Something had taken over me, and I had no idea what it was. The sudden urge to kiss him overpowered every bit of nervous energy and uncertainty I had. I scooted closer to him in the seat and cupped my hands on his chilled cheeks without thinking, pressing my lips against his.  A smile stretched across his lips, and I pulled back. “What?”

“Nothing.” He chuckled, slowly pushing the coat from my shoulders.

“No, tell me why you were starting to laugh.”

“I wasn’t.” He laughed harder, a contagious sound that I got caught up in. “Now, where were we?”

Jason smiled mischievously and took control, pressing my back gently against the passenger door. His lips found mine once more as he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and gave a low growl, sending a spark of electricity through my core and making my center ache with desire. Caught in a frenzy of heated kisses, his hands gripped my waist, maneuvering me down so I lay on the seat, his body between my legs.

What am I doing? What are we doing? This can’t be happening.

Jason’s hand gently grazed my stomach and I gulped, that being the one thing I was most self-conscious about since having Luxe. He lowered his head to my abdomen, pressing a soft kiss to my right hip bone. Goosebumps sprinkled against my arms and legs, and the ache between my thighs grew stronger. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my nervousness hidden. Jason left a trail of kisses and soft nibbles along my waistline and stopped, but only for a moment. I knew what had caught his attention; the orchid tattoo on my left hipbone.

“Wh-what are you about to do?” I asked, my voice shaky with apprehension.

Fuck. I’ve just ruined the moment, and I don’t know even know if I’m relieved about it, or pissed.

But, his gaze was animalistic, like a lion staring hungrily at its prey.

“I’m going to taste you...” He softly growled it out as though it were a promise, unbuttoning my jeans while he spoke. He kissed my skin affectionately, and I couldn’t help it, unable to stop myself from yanking nervously at my shirt, pulling it down to cover up the stretch mark his lips had landed upon.

He must have noticed. “Stop,” he breathed against me. “You’re beautiful, Leah. All of you. You don’t need to hide anything from me.” He slid my sweater up and planted kiss after kiss across my stomach, slowly tugging at my jeans and panties, almost exposing my center as he kissed right there on my sensitive skin, merely a breath away from my core.

I can’t do this. He can’t... no. No, we can’t.

“Stop. Please, stop.” I yanked at my jeans quickly, struggling to sit up. My hands were shaking and guilt crept into my stomach as I tugged my clothes back into place.

I’d never been with anyone but Zach. And, I just...couldn’t do this with Jason. He’d watched my son, he was my neighbor, and he was becoming a friend. I didn’t want to ruin that. “I’m sorry, Jason, I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Concern flooded Jason’s face as he sat up next to me, reaching his hand out to my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Leah. I didn’t—”

“No, it’s okay. Really. I just can’t... we can’t do that. I think it’s time to go home now.” I cut him off, holding back tears.

“I understand,” he assured me, but it didn’t sound like he did. “I’m really sorry,” he added, leaning closer to me to press a soft kiss to my temple.

He had no reason to be sorry. I did. I wanted it, wanted him. Oh God, did I want him. But, I just couldn’t. Yet, here I was, still aching for him and wishing I’d given in.

It’d been the right choice, though...right? To stop. To block the road we’d been heading down before it ended in disaster.

I made the right choice, I told myself. Now, I just wished I wholeheartedly believed it.