Bambi

 

Life with the Warriors was a busy one. We never stayed in one place very long, as they were always eager to ride to the next town and see what it held for them. Some days we rode for hours and other we didn’t ride at all, but I was still painfully aware of how close or far we were from Myrtle Creek. Still, I tried to put it behind me and focus on the sexy man I was always with.

 

We always found someplace to stay. Most of the time we stopped at cheap motels, but there were a few nights that we camped outside and one time that we slept in an old warehouse. Even so, Snake always found a way to make love to me. I thought he might slack off after a week on the road and having sex every night, but every time we bedded down he reached for me.

 

One night we found a motel that was pretty decent. The carpeting was new, and the air conditioning actually worked. The small lobby boasted a free breakfast, which I knew we would take full advantage of in the morning. I settled down in the clean sheets and sighed. The mattress moved slightly as Snake got into bed as well.

 

“You aren’t tired of me yet?” I asked as he pressed his body against my back. I could feel his hardness against me, eager and ready. I knew it was an insecure question to ask, and the kind that men didn’t really like, but I couldn’t help it. In the back of my mind, I still didn’t quite understand why he wanted me instead of some biker chick. Still, I knew that I could fall for him. He was so different from everything I’d ever known, and I liked it.

 

He moved his hips, poking me. “What do you think?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

 

I rolled over compliantly, just as ready as he was. Snake disappeared under the covers, and I felt the heat of his breath against my most sensitive flesh just before his tongue flicked across my clit. “Oh!”

 

Snake laughed, but he didn’t stop. His tongue caressed every fold, licking and sucking until I had the sheets twisted in my fists and my hips pressed against him, begging him for more. He put one finger inside me and then a second one, moving them slowly and deliberately as he continued to work his mouth against me.

 

I shivered and quaked against him, my legs turning into jelly. “I need you inside me. Please, I can’t stand it anymore.”

 

He was on top of me in an instant. There was something about having his cock inside me that gave me a final, calming orgasm. In the back of my mind, I knew we should have been using protection. But I wanted to feel his skin against me, to know the heat of his body and his desire. I wanted him to get the most satisfaction as well. He deserved it, since he had done so much for me. He pounded his hips against mine, every inch of his dick buried inside me, until he shuddered with satisfaction.

 

We lay in each other’s arms and listened to the highway traffic that streamed by just outside. “I’ve been thinking about something,” I said into the darkness of the room.

 

“Hmm?” He was almost asleep already, but he wouldn’t let go of me until sometime late into the night when we had already been out for a few hours.

 

“I need to go home.”

 

“What?” Snake sounded much more awake now, and I could feel the change in his body. His muscles had hardened, building up an energy that scared me a little.

 

“Well, we’ve been gone for a while,” I began, forcing myself to keep calm and say what I’d been thinking about for the last day or two. “I know she wasn’t kind to me, but I should go make up with her.”

 

“No.” His voice was powerful, final.

 

“You don’t have to come with me, if that’s the problem. I know you want to stay with the Warriors, and I’m not going to try to stop you. I can just get a cab or catch a bus.” It probably wouldn’t be a good idea if he came back anyway. Mother would be furious enough with me, but there was no telling what awful things she would have to say to him.

 

“That is not the problem.” He pushed himself to a sitting position, and I could just see his eyes glittering in the dark. “You’re not going anywhere, Bambi. You’re staying with me.”

 

His insistence scared me a little, but I had to admit I was flattered that he wanted me with him so badly. “It doesn’t have to be for very long. You can let me know where you’re going to be, and I can come back to meet you.”

 

Snake had me by the shoulders, and he shook them gently. I felt the vibrations in his body; he was barely keeping himself from getting violent. “No. There’s nothing you can say to make this sound any better.”

 

“I don’t understand. I just want to go apologize to her. Then I’ll leave. I don’t see why that’s such a problem.” I felt that I was walking on thin ice. I wanted to stay with Snake more than anything, so I didn’t want to piss him off and make him leave me. But I hadn’t been able to get Mother off my mind, and it seemed to me that the only way to move on was to make up with her.

 

“And do you really think she’ll let you leave once you’re home again? Think about it, Bambi! Think about everything she’s done to you. You’ll go home and say you’re sorry—even though you have nothing to be sorry for—and she’ll convince you to stay.” He turned and was off the bed, his silhouette dark against the window.

 

I sat up. “She can’t convince me. I want to be here with you.”

 

He ran a hand through his hair and made a noise of frustration. “Don’t you get it? She’s been controlling you your entire life. If you go back there, she’ll work her little mind trick on you like she always has. She’ll make you believe that you’re wrong, and you’ll never be able to come back unless I kidnap you. No, Bambi. You’re not going back there. Not now, and not ever.”

 

“So now that she doesn’t get to control me, you do?” I countered. The darkness was making me bold. I couldn’t have said that to him in the daylight. “Why do you get to decide if I go or not?”

 

“You decided to come with me. Now it’s my job to protect you, which is completely different. Now go back to sleep. I’m done talking about this.” He braced himself against the window trim and kept his back to me.

 

I rolled away from him, hot tears soaking my pillow. I realized I wasn’t just Snake’s lover. I was his prisoner.

 

* * *

 

I woke the next morning with dried tears on my face, wondering just what I had gotten myself into. My jailer had changed, but I was still a prisoner.

 

But Snake was there at the side of the bed with a fresh mug of coffee. “Listen, I’m sorry about last night.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke, focusing instead on the coffee and the doughnut he was setting next to it. “I’m just trying to protect you and keep you safe. I haven’t changed my mind about you going, but I’m sorry I yelled.”

 

He was just impossible to resist. “It’s okay. You were right, anyway. I’ll stay here.”

 

And I did. The days flew by and turned into weeks, and we never again talked about our argument or the idea of me going back home. I knew that Snake was right; Mother wasn’t going to change. She would have found a way to make me stay with her, and then I might never get another chance to be free again.

 

I was beginning to adjust to life with the club. The clothes Snake had bought for me now felt natural, and I no longer felt that I was just pretending to be a biker chick. I was learning the names of the other members and getting used to the late nights and long days on the road. I looked forward to the wind in my hair and the feel of Snake’s body in front of me as he drove. The other men seemed to accept my presence, and the few women that rode with them no longer gave me long sideways glances. Instead, they chatted with me in the bathroom and laughed with me over the guys’ antics.

 

I was getting so absorbed into biker life, in fact, that I was swiftly losing track of my old life. So much so that when I woke up one morning and realized I’d missed my period I couldn’t figure out just how late I was.

 

I couldn’t seem to get it off my mind as we rode into the next town, and the idea made me a little dizzy. I was so young. Could I be a mother? What kind of father would Snake be? Both of us had had rough childhoods, so how could we do this and raise a kid that was stable and happy?

 

“What’s the matter?” Snake asked, pulling me aside just before we went into the local pool hall with the rest of the club members. “You’ve been quiet all day, and you hardly ate anything for lunch.”

 

I smiled weakly. “I’m sorry. I just feel a little under the weather today. Maybe it’s all the traveling and the fast food.” It definitely wasn’t the cause of my behavior, but I could have benefitted from a big salad or a homecooked meal. “I think I’m going to walk over to that pharmacy and get some medicine.”

 

“I’ll come with you.” Snake put his hand on my waist and began to guide me across the parking lot.

 

I stopped and pushed his arm gently away. “No, you don’t have to do that. The guys are waiting on you. Just go, and I’ll join you when I’m done.” I smiled, hoping I could convince him. I wasn’t ready to tell him of my suspicions until I knew the truth myself.

 

He looked around as though he expected someone to jump out of the bushes and kidnap me. “I don’t know. It’s late, and I’m not sure you should be out here by yourself.”

 

“It’s just across the parking lot,” I reasoned. “I’ll be fine.”

 

Snake pressed his lips together. “Okay, I guess. Here.” He handed me some cash. “But don’t take too long. I don’t want to have to go looking for you.”

 

“I won’t.” I stood on my toes to kiss him and headed off. When I reached the front of the pharmacy, I turned around. He was watching me from the front door of the pool hall. He waved and walked inside, and I did the same.

 

I knew I had to work fast. I couldn’t imagine what he would be like if he came to the pharmacy to look for me and discovered I wasn’t there. I found the right aisle and grabbed a pregnancy test, my stomach twirling as I went to the checkout.

 

The older woman behind the counter smiled at me over her glasses. “Good luck,” she said, and she handed me the receipt.

 

I trotted quickly across the street to a small diner, looking over my shoulder to make sure Snake hadn’t come back out of the pool hall yet. There were plenty of bikes in the parking lot, but I saw no sign of him.

 

The place smelled of cheap burgers and pancakes even late in the evening. It had the look of a classic diner from the fifties, with chrome edges on the tables and chairs and a large bank of windows all along the front of the building. The man behind the counter wore a paper hat and had grease stains on his apron, and he frowned at the cash register as he rubbed his stubble. There were a few older couples at the tables and a man at the counter, but it was otherwise fairly empty. Perfect. I went right past the seating area to the little hallway where the restrooms were.

 

My fingers shook as I unwrapped the test and read the directions. It wasn’t all that difficult, but waiting the short amount of time for the results seemed impossible. I needed to know now. I flung my hands nervously as I counted the seconds.

 

Positive.

 

My heart and my stomach did swan dives into each other, crashing and banging around inside my body until I thought I might vomit. I leaned against the wall of the stall and closed my eyes, wondering if this could possibly be real or if it was just some nightmare I hadn’t woken up from. I had loved my time with Snake, but I hadn’t really thought about the consequences.

 

I had to get back to him before I passed out. I lurched out of the restroom and into the dining area, taking deep breaths to try to calm myself down. How would I tell him? I’d always heard romantic stories of women who found cute ways to tell their spouses about their pregnancies, but I just wasn’t in that kind of situation.

 

Like a shout from a distance, I slowly became aware of the news program that was blasting on the television mounted in the upper corner of the wall. I glanced up as I headed toward the door, and then stopped in my tracks.

 

A woman with frizzy brown hair was being interviewed, and she flung her hands wildly as she spoke. “I just can’t believe this has happened to my poor baby. You know, you hear about young women getting kidnapped and sold into the sex trade and things like that, but you never think it will happen to your own children. I just want my girl back.” I knew that woman far too well. It was Mother.

 

The picture flipped to a news reporter, her face serious as she held up the microphone. “We have a sketch of the man who is believed to have kidnapped Bambi Bidwell, and police ask that citizens keep a lookout for anyone who meets either of their descriptions. The man is believed to be armed and dangerous, and the police ask that you don’t approach him under any circumstances. This is Clarissa Thurston, reporting for Action News 12.” A fairly accurate drawing of Snake appeared on the screen, right next to a picture of me being crowned as Peach Festival Queen.

 

I plunked down into the booth behind me with a thump. How dare she? Mother had thrown me out! And I had gone with Snake willingly in the first place. A flush of anger took over me, mostly replacing the nervous feeling. I knew exactly what she was doing. Mother wasn’t concerned with getting me home. She had simply realized the kind of attention she could get if she claimed I had been taken. Snake had been right; I couldn’t go back home, no matter what.

 

More importantly, I had to warn Snake. The police were looking for him, and the media had everyone else watching for him, too. We were only an hour or so away from Myrtle Creek, and someone would find us. I had to get back to him and let him know. He would have a plan even if I didn’t.

 

I stumbled back to the pool hall, my mind reeling and my stomach whirling. There were too many things to think about.

 

I saw Janet, one of the other biker chicks, when I walked in. She was standing near the bar, flirting with the young bartender. He leaned on the bar and passed her a drink, the look on his face suggesting she could pay him with something other than cash.

 

“Hey, do you know where Snake is?” I asked feebly.

 

She looked at me with creased brows. “He’s in the back. Are you okay?” Janet was at least a decade older than me, and she often took it upon herself to be my mother figure.

 

“I’ll be all right.” But I really wasn’t so sure. I didn’t know if I would be all right ever again.

 

“If you say so.” She turned back to the bartender with a flirtatious smile. I was used to her batting her eyes at other men even though she rode with a guy named Fish. Nobody else seemed to have anything to say about it, and I certainly wasn’t going to.

 

The song on the jukebox was just ending as I walked into the back room, where all the pool tables were. Long, low lights hung over each table, illuminating the faces of the players as they bent over the felt with their cues and twisted their mouths to get the shot just right. One entire wall was lined with racks of sticks and extra cubes of chalk. I found Snake easily amongst the crowd, his tall slim figure a unique feature among the bikers. He always hung out with the same group of men, and he was playing pool with Rusty.

 

The redhaired man shot a solid ball into the corner pocket and then missed the next one. “So?”

 

“So what?” Snake asked as he stepped up to the table to take his turn. The light was harsh, but it somehow brought out the best features in Snake. He looked sexy and just a little scary.

 

“The girl. You get her knocked up yet?” Rusty rubbed a little blue cube of chalk against the end of his cue as he studied the table.

 

I was just about to approach them, but I took a step back when I heard this. I stayed in the shadows between the tables, watching and waiting. I didn’t like to spy on him, but I couldn’t believe they were talking about me like that.

 

Snake took a long time to respond. He made his shot and bent down for the next one before he looked up at his friend. “Yep.”

 

“Are you serious?” Rusty slammed the butt of his stick on the floor and gave Snake a scrutinizing look.

 

“I said she was, and so she is.” Snake stood up and walked around the table. His back was to me now, but I could still hear him clearly. “I did exactly what I said I was going to do.”

 

Rusty shook his head and looked at Moose. “Did you hear that?”

 

“What?” The blonde man had been playing cards at a pub table in the corner.

 

“Snake says he knocked up the beauty queen.”

 

“Damn it!” Moose threw his cards on the floor. “I really wanted that money.”

 

I backed away a little further, not liking what I’d heard.

 

“Shit,” Rubble chimed in. “I should have figured it would be him. Snake gets everything he wants.”

 

“Quit your bitching.” Axle clapped Rubble on the shoulder. “You never had a chance of winning the bet, anyway.”

 

The short man scowled at him, but he didn’t argue.

 

I turned for the front of the building, tears springing to my eyes. I was just a bet? All this time that Snake had insisted he wanted me to be with him and that he wanted to protect me, he’d just been lying. The only reason he’d wanted me close by was so he could fuck me over and over and make sure I got knocked up. How could I have been so stupid?

 

I almost ran into Janet as I came through the doorway. “Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?”

 

Though I had been thinking of Janet as my friend, I knew now that there was nobody associated with the Warriors that I could trust. They were just what the townsfolk of Myrtle Creek feared: rude, brutal people who didn’t care who they hurt as long as they got what they wanted. Snake was no different, and I doubted Janet was either. “I just, um, I got some bad news. I’ve got to go.” I pushed past her and out the door into the night.

 

Sobbing fully now, I stumbled out toward the sidewalk and started walking. I had no cell phone; I’d left mine at Mother’s house, and there had never been a need to have one while I was with Snake. There were only the few dollars left in my pocket after my trip to the pharmacy. I was alone and on my own. I was free, just like I’d thought I wanted to be, and this was where it had gotten me.