Wheeler
I raced all the way back to San Diego. My mind raced right along with me.
Boss had said there was some shit going down. He hadn’t elaborated. Was there something wrong with Ember? Was she hurt? Had someone gotten to her before I could set things right?
Boss had been so vague.
Damn it. I should have asked him for answers.
I pulled up to the San Diego clubhouse with my bike roaring. I barely got off it before Boss was coming out. He looked a little surprised. His hands were up and he stopped me before I could storm into the clubhouse.
“Whoa, whoa. You’re coming in like a bat out of hell.”
“Where is she? Is she okay? Is the baby—?”
“Whoa, Wheeler. Calm the hell down. Come on.”
I followed Boss back to his office. I looked around for any sign of Ember, sure that she was going to be there in some capacity, but she wasn’t. My heart raced. Maybe she was fine and with her mother and I was worrying for nothing.
Ember wasn’t in the office either, and that was disappointing, but I chalked it up to the fact that I was missing her something fierce.
I sat down across from Boss. He finally took his spot.
“They took Jameson in,” he started. “They’re launching an investigation, but they’re not holding Ember.”
My mind reeled.
“What? How?”
“Apparently, Ember managed to get Jameson on tape, confessing to the fact that he lied about her, and that the drugs from the festival did come from the Sons—but a specific Son.”
Realization dawned.
“Leech.”
“Yeah. Apparently not only was he skimming, but he was dealing a little on the side too. So far, it seems they’re coming to the conclusion that the fire was Leech’s doing in retaliation over drug dealing gone bad with Jameson and a few other people Jameson has apparently thrown under the bus.”
So it was over. But that didn’t stop the feeling …
“Okay. So … things are resolving. They’re not even going to implicate the whole chapter of the Sons from Big Sur?”
“At this point? No. Jameson doesn’t have a leg to stand on in trying to finger anyone else in this. He screwed himself when he lied about everything.”
“And Ember?”
He sighed.
“That’s why I called you. While the Big Sur won’t suffer too bad for this … it’ll still suffer. There’s going to be police involvement. They’re going to be asking questions. You’re going to need to be there in order to handle that.”
I still wasn’t following.
“Ember told me about the baby. Everything,” he went on. “And she wanted me to tell you that she’s happy and thankful for what you’ve done for her—now do for yourself what you need to do. When you’re done, when the dust settles? She’ll be waiting for you.”
My mind continued to reel. So … she wasn’t leaving me. Not permanently.
But she wasn’t going to be around. Not while all of this was getting itself situated and leveled out.
I ran my hand through my hair. I wanted to be angry at her for making that choice for me. This was something that we should have done together. Something that should have … happened with the both of us making it happen.
I stood up and paced.
“Why didn’t she call me and tell me this herself?” I demanded. “Why didn’t she let me know?”
“Because she knew like everything else you would try to juggle her and her problems as well as your own when you should be focusing on the chapter and getting it set right—”
“But she’s—”
“Pregnant with your child and willing to stick with you even after everything that’s happened. She’s willing to give you the space and time to do that without any additional issues plaguing you. You understand? You get it?”
Boss leveled a look at me and I had to stop my pacing under the weight of that stare. I … had to think long and hard on it. I knew that Ember was right and so was Boss.
I would have tried to make it work even when the load was too much.
“I should be able to handle it all,” I told him. “I love her. It’s not like I would mind—”
“It’s not about whether or not you would mind, Wheeler,” he told me. “It’s more about whether or not you would actually pay attention to your limits.” He waved me off. “You got yourself a girl that’s willing to put the breaks on things and let you do your thing and wait for you because she cares about you enough to know that you need to get yourself in order before you come back to her. and that’s okay. You need to be stable for that baby that the two of you are about to bring into the world.”
I left the San Diego clubhouse that day feeling … no worse for wear, but wholly out of place.
I missed Ember.
I wanted her.
I needed to get my club back in order so I could have our life together in order, too.
Ten Months Later
I was making trips back and forth between the Big Sur clubhouse and Angela’s house. Ember was staying with her mother, and through her mother I was keeping tabs on Ember without actually being there.
It was hard. I wanted to see her every waking moment of my life, but sometimes a man had to do what he didn’t want to do in order to eventually get the things that he wanted.
That time had come.
I was going to see Ember and our child for the first time in months.
I had kept my distance from Ember out of respect for her wishes. I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t take them seriously, but I also wanted some physical, in-person reassurance from someone that things were going well for Ember. I had had to miss the birth of our child—Satan, unfortunately, had passed away that week, solidifying my place as club president—and with everything from the issues with Jameson, the police up our asses over Leech, and cracking down on the boys to get clean and stay clean and out of trouble, it kept having to be put off.
I knew that Ember understood. That wasn’t the issue. It was that I had been gone so long, with only a few phone calls here and there and meeting with her mother when she was out.
This was going to be a surprise.
I pulled up to the trailer the Amor family lived in. One day, I told myself, I was going to get them into a proper home. Maybe see if they would be willing to move closer and I could put them up somewhere nice. Somewhere Ember’s mother could feel happy in and the baby could visit its grandmother without much of a fuss.
Oh, yeah. I wanted to keep it a surprise—I had no idea the gender of the little tyke. I had made Angela swear not to tell me and had her relay the message to Ember.
I was so ready to find out.
The lights in the trailer were off. it was late—I had had to do a little last-minute bookkeeping that had kept me later than I expected. But Angela had given me a key to the trailer so that I could come and go as I pleased when everything got itself settled. I let myself in, not wanting to make too much noise in the process.
The inside was still.
I knew where the baby’s room was. Angela had given it one of its own and I loved the fact that there was that attention that was given. I crept back and paused at Ember’s room. She was sleeping as I peeked into the room, snuggled into the blankets and the pillows tightly.
I smiled. She still looked every bit of the angel that she was, and I was so goddamn lucky that I had gotten a woman like her. A woman that hadn’t strayed or questioned even as the time wore on and there was separation.
Across the hall from Ember’s room was the baby’s. I was distracted in gazing in on Ember when I heard cries coming from it.
Oh. That wouldn’t do.
I nudged the door to the nursery open. It was painted in pale yellows and pinks and blues with clouds along the walls. It was small, with only one bookshelf and a rocking chair aside from the crib that took up most of the space, and was the source of the wailing that was coming from it.
I walked over, heart pounding. This was it. My child.
I had never held a baby before. I’d never really been around children, except for when I was one, and that hadn’t counted. I had thought about reading baby book after baby book to prepare myself for when I finally came in contact with my child, but Satan, before he passed, had told me that there wasn’t anything that a book could tell a man about being a father that he didn’t just already know when he looked into his child’s face for the first time.
I hadn’t understood what he’d meant until now.
She was a cherubim little dream, pink-faced and wide-mouthed in her little screams. I thought that I would be put off by those first few cries, but I was charmed in a way that I hadn’t expected. I reached in without hesitation and I pulled her to my chest. Experimentally, I bounced her—gently. That’s what you did with babies that were crying, right? Bounced them?
Or changed them.
Or fed them.
I had no idea where items for those particular activities were, however, and her wails started to hiccup into little whines until eventually, she quieted.
I was so ready to learn her name. The wait had been agony, and now that I was here, I craved and craved to know my daughter. The idea of raising her ran through my head—would she be a tomboy? A girly girl? Would she be into music or sports and would she want a car or a Harley for her sweet sixteen?
“… Wheeler?”
I started and turned. In the frame of the door stood Ember, leaned against it. She was tired but obviously surprised to see me. Her eyes were drooping and her nightgown hung low on her shoulder. She was fuller than I remembered her but the baby weight looked good on her and I liked knowing that it was there because of me.
Because of our child.
I smiled at her, and I nuzzled myself to our daughter’s soft little face.
“She’s perfect,” I said.
“Her name’s Emma,” she said. She walked up to me, sliding her hand through the little angel tuft of hair that was on our daughter—Emma’s—head. Her hand was so soft and gentle over Emma’s head. A mother’s touch.
Well. She’d had a month of practice by now, after all. I knew that she would be a good mother.
“Emma … Emma and Ember. My two girls.”
Ember smiled warmly at that.
“I like the sound of that.”
“It’s why I said it.”
She slapped me playfully on the shoulder and laughed softly at me.
“Shut up, you. Go on and put her down. She’s back asleep now. You’re going to want to take all the quiet moments that you can.”
Gently, I leaned down and placed Emma back into her crib. She squirmed a little and clenched her little fists into a ball but she remained asleep. I stood there, with Ember pressed into my side and her arms around my middle. We watched Emma sleeping. She rolled over once, yawned, and nuzzled her little face against one of her little fists.
She was a part of me. For nine months, a piece of me and a piece of Ember formed together to make her.
I was instantly in love and enchanted and I knew that I would do anything and everything for this little angel.
I turned to the other angel of mine.
Ten months between now and the last time that I had seen her separated us. There was a lot of time to make up for, and I wanted to do every bit of it right now. To hold her and taste her and feel the heat of her wrapped around my body and how wet and amazing she was and tell her I loved her—
I took her face in my hands and leaned forward, kissing her. I moaned against her mouth and tugged at her bottom lip, pressing close to her. I hadn’t kissed her in so long, I savored it, letting my mouth caress hers lovingly and part her lips to the intrusion of my tongue.
Ember wrapped her arms around me and drew me closer. It was like heaven having the softness of her curves pressed against me again. I carded my fingers through her hair and tightened that hold, tangling my fingers in her red hair. I had liked the different styles that she had had when she was wearing wigs to disguise who she was, but I loved nothing more than having my fingers plunged into the rich thickness of her waves.
“I missed you,” I breathed. “So damn much. You’re going to have to catch me up on … everything.”
She laughed.
“What, my mother’s intel hasn’t been enough?”
I pulled away a little, surprised.
“You knew about that?”
“I know that it’s impossible for you to stay away in any situation, and I also know that it’s impossible for my mother to resist the pleas of a good-looking man. So I put two and two together when she hadn’t started nagging me about keeping you in the loop or trying to play matchmaker for me in trying to get us back together—like some sort of fairy godmother.”
I laughed.
“I like to think of your mother as a fairy godmother. It’s fitting.”
I took her hand and squeezed it tight, leading her out of the nursery and back over to her bedroom. I would greet her mother in the morning. Maybe I would even treat the girls to some homemade breakfast, depending on what Angela had in the fridge.
We lay down on the bed together, facing each other. I slid my legs between Ember’s and pulled her close to my chest. I pressed my face into her hair and just breathed her in. She smelled like honey and spice.
“I missed touching you,” I said. “And holding you. And fucking you. I missed you so much.”
We were back to kissing. It was like we needed to in order to breathe, and I was perfectly fine with that. If I needed Ember to breathe and vice versa, then that would be the life I would lead from now on.
It didn’t take long for things to get moving. I rocked between her legs and pushed up the thin little nightgown that she was wearing. I kissed her hungrily, my mouth roaming from her lips to her neck to her full, soft breasts. I moaned against her and felt her warmth through my jeans.
We made love that night. The first time was nice and slow and deep. I went a little harder the second, and let her ride me smooth the third. We were a sweaty, messy pile of love and limbs after we came.
I rolled to my side.
“You know, after everything, we still didn’t use a condom.”
She laughed.
“I’m on the Pill this time,” she informed me. “I went on a little after Emma was born. To prepare.”
I bit my lip. Well. That solved that problem. But.
“Maybe in the future we can forget about the Pill again?”
“You just met your daughter and you’re already vying for another baby?” She laughed again.
“Well, you know, I think it would be a good present for Emma if she had a little sibling, you know? I think as her loving father, it’s the least that I could give her.”
“Well, as her loving mother, I suppose at some point, it’s the least that I could give her as well.”
Naked, I pulled Ember toward me. I was still inside her, and she was still wet with cum and slick. I didn’t want to leave her—so I didn’t. instead I held her close to me, listening to the beat of her heart in the silence of the bedroom, and feeling the soft puff of her breath against my bare chest as she started to fall asleep.
It was dark in the room. So dark. But there was so much light in my future that emanated from this one woman, and from the baby girl in the room across from us.
The future was looking good.
I couldn’t wait.
THE END
***
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