We continued our way through the park, stopping at various scenic viewpoints when I finally mentioned the text I’d received earlier, before arriving at the park. It’d been from Teddy, asking me to meet up with them at a nearby campground later that night. Since I’d filled him in on Sam visiting, he’d been checking on me, feeling bad for having, in his words, abandoned me after my leg injury.

“So, they’re all at a campground tonight and they want you to join?” Sam asked, his mouth in a line and his eyes focused on the road. He seemed annoyed for some reason, but I didn’t want to press it with him.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I said. But that only seemed to annoy him further, because he released a deep sigh and shook his head.

“I’m … no, that’s fine. We can definitely do that. It sounds great.”

But I didn’t believe him, not really. I wanted to bring it up later, but by the time we were most of the way through the park, our talk turned to what we’d be doing for dinner. We’d brought some gas station snacks with us, but I was beginning to crave something of substance. Before we could leave, however, we had one more place to stop at along the way, an arch called the Delicate Arch.

“It’s a three-mile hike,” I told Sam. I looked pointedly and doubtfully at my boot.

“I’ll carry you,” he said, like it was no big deal. “This is purported to be one of the world’s most photographed arches. We’re not going to miss it, Lots.”

The idea of Sam carrying me the entire time didn’t sit well with me, but I knew he was in some ways more stubborn than me, so I followed him as well as I could on the trek to the arch.

About twenty minutes into the hike, sweat was dripping down my legs and I regretted wearing my leggings. Even with the little bit of wind, the trek was challenging enough that my muscles began to ache. Sam walked behind me, to keep an eye on me if need be, and more than once I had to stop and drink water.

“It’s hot, yeah?” he asked, as we paused just off the trail. A number of travelers passed us by, but then one stopped.

“You’re brave,” he said, mopping at his forehead. “Attempting this hike with that boot.”

Sam and I exchanged a look.

“Up ahead, there’s a narrow shelf—about as wide as a sidewalk. The drop off’s a bit scary, so hug the inside wall.”

Sam turned green. “A drop off?”

“Yes, you go across a ledge. Just for a few hundred feet,” the man said in between sips of water.

“Maybe we should go back.” I did a double take, surprised by Sam’s sudden reluctance.

“There’s another way to view the arch, but it just doesn’t compare to this way, and you can’t get close to it.”

“It’ll be fine,” I said, willing to continue since we’d gone this far already. I grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed. “We’re getting closer. Let’s get there, rest a second, and head back.”

“You’ll want to rest a bit. It’s a beautiful sight,” the man said. “Just take it easy. If us flatlanders can do it with little difficulty, you should have no problem. It’s worth it.” He waved at us and continued with a woman back to the area we’d come from.

I looked at Sam, who looked torn between turning around and going forward, based on the way his head kept going in both directions.

“It’ll be fine, Sam. We’ve come so far, it’d be sad to turn around now.”

“I’m afraid of heights,” he confessed, his face still that funny green color.

“Oh.” I stepped closer to him and placed my hand on his chest. Sure enough, his heart was beating rapid-fire. “It’ll be fine, Sam. I’ll be there. And you heard the man, it’s worth it. We can do this.” When he still didn’t move, I cupped his cheek. “Okay?”

He turned to me and nodded, but his jaw was set.

We continued on the hike, with Sam carrying me through the more rocky areas. Once we’d reached the sidewalk-width ledge the man had mentioned, I got off of Sam’s back and got in front of him. “We can do this,” I told him, when he turned his head away from the drop off. “Just look at me, okay?”

I turned my body sideways so that I was facing the rock and encouraged him to mimic me. I grabbed his left hand with my right and placed my left palm on the rock.

“Look at me,” I told him. I still couldn’t see the arch, but I knew this ledge was the last obstacle to it. “It’s going to be easy, Sam. Just a few hundred feet and we’ll be there.”

He nodded, but he looked green about the gills. I squeezed his hand tight and moved left, along the rock face. I had to force myself to stare into his eyes, so ready to look away. But he was counting on me, and I didn’t want to let him down.

“Come on, Sam,” when he paused along the wall to glance over his shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about—just keep moving with me.”

Once we had gotten across the ledge, the arch came suddenly into view.

“Look at that, Sam,” I said, pausing just outside of the ledge. I understood why it was called the Delicate Arch, because it was so eroded that it looked like it could crumble relatively easily.

Sam was still holding my hand as I pulled him up the rest of the way, walking carefully around the crater that was on the other side of the rock wall we’d hugged on the way over to the arch. There was a smooth landing area where a lot of people were sitting down, and a queue of people waited for their turn to get a photo under the arch itself.

Sam and I walked to where people were sitting and looking at the arch, taking in the way it hung near the side of a steep slope, like a defiant spectacle against Mother Nature. It hung on the side of that bowl-like crater, alone. There had been rocks around it, based on the boulders that remained, but only the arch stood strong.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said when we were sitting down on the smooth space that overlooked what seemed like miles and miles of red rock terrain. “I can usually rein in my nerves, but realizing that I’d put us in this predicament made me feel incredibly foolish. I didn’t know how difficult the hike would be.”

“It’s fine,” I assured him, and leaned gently against him. His arm came around me and I settled on his chest. “Look at that view.”

“Lotte, you pulled me through that.”

I turned my head, looking back at him. “Well, you made me walk halfway before you almost chickened out. I wasn’t going to go back after you made such a fuss over seeing this arch.”

He laughed, and his hand grazed my elbow. “You were brave. Well done.”

I smiled to myself, realizing that I could have easily agreed with him and gone back to the car. I’d been the one to help us get here.

“We’re going to get to see the sunset,” Sam told me, shoving his backpack under my foot to elevate it. “The sun’s coming down fast now.”

“I bet the colors that go across the arch will be gorgeous.”

Sam laughed and when I pressed him to tell me what was so funny, he shook his head. “No, it’s silly.”

“Tell me.”

“The arch. It’s like you.”

I looked doubtfully at it. “How do you figure?”

We both looked out at the arch. “It appears delicate, but still manages to be defiant. It’s withstood probably millions of years.”

I was flattered, embarrassed, and in disbelief. “Come on, Sam. I went to America for four weeks and broke a bone in my leg. I’m hardly unbreakable like that arch.”

“You’re delicate. But you’re also defiant.” He looked at me, and I noticed then how the sun setting painted oranges and yellow across his face. His eyes shined. “You’re the one who talked me the rest of the way up here. You’re the one with the broken leg bone, and you’re the one who helped me—a man who has zero handicaps—across a ledge.”

“You were afraid,” I told him. “Why wouldn’t I help you? You came all the way here just to help me.”

“You know my fears. What are yours? What are you afraid of? You know my secret. What’s yours?”

My heart picked up its pace. I took a deep breath. “Loving someone who doesn’t love me back.”

Nothing else existed for the brief few seconds after I said that. It was just Sam and me, with him searching my eyes for the deeper truth behind what I was saying. I couldn’t believe I’d told him that—given him one of my biggest secrets.

“That’s what you’re afraid of? Love can’t exist without fear, Lotte.”

I thought about what he said. I loved my family so deeply, that the thought of losing them, after having lost so much, was definitely a true fear. But it felt defeating to admit that love grew with fear, that fear was inevitable. “I wish it didn’t.” My breaths felt shallower, with all the space anxiety was taking up in my chest. Did he know I was talking about him?

“Me too. But, it does. It’s complicated, you know? We have a hard time finding the one we’re meant to be with, but then when we do, we’re afraid to take the risk.”

“Sometimes taking a risk isn’t even an option. Sometimes you just love them regardless.”

He cocked his head to the side, regarding me. I worried my cheeks were inflamed, but hoped that with the sun slowing sinking behind the horizon, the shadows would grant me a small favor. “Sometimes.”

I hated that my mind went to Della in that moment. I hated it. It made me feel like I’d just swallowed vinegar-soaked cotton balls. Thinking of Della was this never-ending plague upon my heart, reminding me that I wasn’t enough. Wouldn’t be enough in the end. I wasn’t the person Sam was meant to be with, because I wasn’t the person he couldn’t stay away from. The fact that he was that for me made it much more unbearable.

But I took a deep breath and turned my attention to the arch, pushing it from my mind. Just like loving Sam hadn’t been a choice, I didn’t have much of a choice now but to put thoughts of Sam’s ex to the side.

As the sun set some more, the area became more condensed with people, but since the sky was darkening it wasn’t a big deal. Sam’s arm came more tightly around me as the sun lowered, leaving a cool wind in its wake. The sweat that I’d produced on the walk was rapidly cooling my body down now that we weren’t moving, so I was getting colder by the second.

“After this, we’ll go to the campground,” Sam said. “Will they have dinner?”

“It’ll be a later dinner, but yes. The campground has a pool, too.”

“A night swim might be nice.” Sam’s lips spread in a smile and with the way the sunset cast low light over him, he looked impossibly beautiful. It struck me then, as it had often over the last few days, how lucky I was to be with him, in his presence. We weren’t a couple, but for the next few days we were together, and getting all this one-on-one time with Sam not only enabled me to get to know him a little bit better, but it made me feel like he was getting to know me, too.

I just had to push the fact that in three days, we’d be going back to reality.