TWELVE
Benzio’s party was scheduled for five in the evening, but Layla and Quin started the celebration early. With smiles plastered on their faces, they awoke him by singing “Happy Birthday” and showering him in confetti. Then they spoiled him with a made-to-order breakfast of chocolate pancakes topped with ice cream.
Since he would be buried in gifts at the party, they gave him a few smaller presents early, and after sharing a casual lunch with his grandparents, the golden group accompanied him to his new room, where Quin surprised him with the loft bed.
“Whoa,” Benzio gushed. “Is that for me?”
“Yep,” Quin answered, leading the way to the toddler’s special spot.
The large corner was fully decorated and furnished, including the portrait of Zio and Jacinda, framed photos of his current family, a floor to ceiling bookshelf that was already half full, a dresser, a mini desk with a mini chair, and an oversized toy box. Standing tall among it all was the bed, which was similar to a playground structure. The platform that held the mattress could be reached by two sets of stairs, one that ascended directly to the headboard, and one that led to a bridge, which crossed a shaggy rug before connecting to the footboard. The underside of the bridge doubled as monkey bars as well as a place to hang a rope swing or hammock; and a doublewide slide sloped from the side rails. More bookshelves lined the back side of the platform, and both staircases provided storage with hidden drawers. Polished planks curtained by blue velvet concealed the lower section of the bed, but when Quin pressed what appeared to be a natural knot in the wood, several boards separated from the others, revealing a secret room.
Benzio’s eyes grew huge as he leaned forward. “What’s in there?”
“Take a look,” Quin encouraged, motioning for the toddler to step inside.
Quin had to stoop to follow. Then he crouched near the entrance while watching Benzio observe his surroundings.
Half the floor was piled with blankets and enough pillows to swim in, and the ceiling and walls were covered in dark-blue velvet. When Quin flipped a switch, hundreds of tiny lights burst to life, twinkling atop the plush velvet as if they were stars in a midnight sky, and Benzio’s mouth fell open as he spun around. “Whoa…”
“Isn’t that pretty?” Layla asked, kneeling at the door.
Benzio bounced and held out his palms. “It’s like outside! It’s beautiful.”
Layla smiled at the description while watching his bright aura mingle with the stars. “I agree. It’s the perfect spot to read and write, or just relax and think.”
“And play,” Benzio added, diving into the blankets.
Quin laughed as he lay down beside him, getting his attention by bopping him on the head with a pillow. “You know what’s cool about this sky?”
Benzio turned his gaze toward the ceiling and stilled. “What?”
“It holds all your secrets.”
Quin waved a hand, and the faux sky shifted as drawers and cabinets opened, exposing around a dozen compartments. One panel of the wall had folded back to make a small table, and the gap it left behind held Benzio’s box of letters, along with extra stationary.
Benzio stood to get a closer look at all the cubbies, and he didn’t rest until he’d checked them all. “This is a good place for my box. What will I put in the rest of them?”
“Whatever you want,” Quin answered. “You’ll have it for a long time.” He pointed toward one of the cabinets. “When it was mine, that one held all my breakable toys and stuff I didn’t want other people to play with.”
“This was your bed?” Benzio asked, returning to Quin, who stretched out an arm and let him settle in.
“Yep. Your grandpa Kemble helped me build it when I was a little older than you.”
“What else did you keep in here?”
“Let’s see…” Quin looked around then began pointing out cubbies. “That’s where I stored the stuff I’d drawn. That’s where I kept stuff I’d written. I hid my favorite books in there. This cabinet was for music. That one held all my certificates and awards. And this drawer is where I kept pictures of pretty girls.”
Benzio tilted his head at the last one. “Like Lilyana?”
Quin’s dimples deepened as he ruffled Benzio’s hair. “Yeah, like Lil’ Bit.”
Layla smirked, well aware Quin didn’t keep pictures of family members in that drawer, and someday, neither would Benzio. Though the outside of the bed fostered playfulness, the underneath boasted a more mature atmosphere perfect for relaxation, introspection and self-pleasure. Benzio would probably keep the bed into his teens, and by then, the compartments would be filled with secrets.
He currently lay on his back with his hands folded behind his head, his legs bent, and an ankle propped on one knee, already at ease in his new space. “May I try sleeping in here tonight?”
Quin flipped his gaze to Layla, seeking her permission, and though her face flexed around tear-laden eyes, she yielded with a nod.
Quin looked at Benzio and smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.”
Benzio beamed and stretched like a big boy. “I love my new bed.”
He proved it, playing on the bed until it was time to get ready for the party, at which point he told the starry nook he’d be back later. Layla convinced him to brush his teeth and wash up. Then she changed him into a button up shirt and slacks before letting him run outside.
Guests began to arrive shortly before five, mostly kids and their parents, all of them bearing gifts and enthusiastic birthday wishes, and Benzio reveled in the spotlight, no longer the shy toddler he’d been in the guild. He told anyone who’d listen about his new bed, and he was the first to jump in line when the buffet was ready. When someone asked if he was excited to open presents, he responded with a distracted yes. Then he turned to Layla and asked if he could play in the magical bouncy house.
“After presents,” she suggested. “Some people might need to leave soon, and they’ll want to watch you open your gifts before they go.”
He easily agreed, but when the crowd sang “Happy Birthday” and presented him with a massive pile of presents, he shrank into his chair, overwhelmed and breathless, so Layla sat him on her lap and helped him through the unfamiliar experience.
Once the pile was gone and the thank yous had been said, the kids ran off to play on the foggy slide that sloped into a giant bouncy house, and Layla went with them, determined to give the birthday boy her undivided attention.
Quin played for a while, sticking with Benzio while Layla took a break to nurse, but when she returned to the fun, Quin left it, taking up hosting duties while cuddling the triplets.
Guests began soaring away around eight, but Alana and Brayden had nowhere to go, and since Kegan’s sister was sticking around to help with the wedding, Shaylee got to stay, as well.
Quin sat near a bonfire, an infant son in each arm, but his gaze stayed on Layla, enraptured as she tickled and hugged Benzio, high-fived Brayden, kissed Alana, and coddled Shaylee.
“She’s good at faking it,” Kemble observed, taking a seat next to Quin.
Quin tore his gaze from Layla and looked over, searching for clarification.
“Happiness,” Kemble elaborated. “If I didn’t know her, I’d believe her act.”
Quin returned his attention to Layla. “It’s not entirely an act. Kids make her happy. It just so happens she’s equally miserable.”
“You can’t tell by looking at her. Well… most people can’t. I’m sure you can.”
“I don’t need eyes to recognize her pain. I feel it, and she feels mine.”
“You’re both handling this remarkably well, Quinlan. I know things aren’t as they should be, but they’re better than they could be.”
Quin nodded, his mouth too dry to respond.
Kemble sensed the tension and bowed his head. “You’re in rough shape, Son. I see that as clearly as you see Layla, but I wholeheartedly believe you’re strong enough to endure the hell inflicted on you.”
Quin slowly turned his head and met his dad’s stare. “What makes you think so?”
“Because I’ve seen you on your knees as the world crashed in on you, and I watched you get back up.”
Quin chewed his cheek while searching his dad’s familiar eyes. Then he swallowed and quietly spoke. “There’s something I want to ask you.”
“What are you waiting for? Ask.”
Quin glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Then he focused on his dad and posed the difficult question. “If Mom had died when I was a baby, would you have stayed with me or followed her?”
Kemble scowled, but he was quick to smooth his expression. Then he released his held breath with a quiet whistle. “That’s a heavy one.”
“The heaviest,” Quin agreed, flipping his gaze between Layla and his boys.
Kemble remained silent for several seconds, uncomfortably shifting as he tried to imagine himself in such a shitty situation, and by the time he leaned back to reply, he did so with pallid cheeks, thin lips, and a tight jaw. “I want to believe I’d be strong enough to stay, at least long enough to raise you. That’s what your mom would want, and no one motivates me like she does.”
Quin’s sinuses stung as the answers he already knew sank deeper into his soul. “It would have killed you.”
“Eventually, but having kids with your bonded mate can slow the deterioration of your health after they die. If you’re spending time with a piece of them, you’ll remain healthier than if you lose them altogether.”
“Do you think it would be the same with Layla and me? Even though we’re not traditionally bonded?”
“Maybe. You’d have to try to know if it can be done.”
Quin ran his thumbs over his boys’ tiny feet. “I don’t know if I can be the kind of dad they deserve if I lose her.”
“I would have similar fears in your situation.”
“But you’d stay.”
“I’d try.” Kemble hesitated then leaned closer. “Let me ask you this. What would you have wanted in that situation? Would you have preferred to be raised by your grandparents, familiar with your mom and me through their stories and the photos on the wall? Or would you want your crazy old man around, loving you like you’re the only light in his dark world while repeating stories about your mom until you’ve heard them all a thousand times? Would it hurt to think I never even tried to stay with you? And would it be any better if I had? Once you answer those questions for yourself, you’ll know what’s best for your kids, and that will help you figure out what’s best for you and Layla.”
“Maybe. You don’t seem to be trying to sway me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Of course I want you to come home, but only if coming home is what you need to do. No father wants his son to suffer like that when there are better alternatives. Whatever you decide to do, you’ll have my support, because I’ll know you didn’t make the decision lightly. You’ll always put their needs above your own.”
“Always,” Quin breathed, hoping he had the will to follow through. “Speaking of needs, Natalie and Remy are about to leave, and I still haven’t gotten their agreement to sell us breast milk. Would you like to hold your grandsons?”
“Always,” Kemble returned, flashing dimples as he filled his arms.
Quin hurried across the lawn. Then he waited for Natalie to wrap up a conversation before grabbing her and Remy’s attention. “Are you calling it a night?”
“Yeah,” Remy answered. “Early day tomorrow.”
“Then I won’t keep you long. Have you considered my request?”
Remy raised his eyebrows at his wife. “I just found out about it this evening.”
Natalie’s cheeks reddened as she fessed up. “I’m so sorry, Quin. I completely forgot until we got here and saw Layla nursing.”
“Blame it on baby brain,” Quin excused. “So what do you think, Remy? I understand if you need time to consider it, but if you’ve already decided against it, I’d rather know now than later.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Remy countered. “I want to help, but damn, man, you’re asking her to produce enough milk for four babies. You realize how crazy that is, right?”
“I realize it’s a lot to ask, but I’d be crazy not to try. If I can’t get a local to sell us their breast milk, my premature triplets will be switched to formula, and I won’t be around to make sure it’s working for them. I’m not telling you this to guilt you into an agreement. I’d prefer you refuse if you have doubts. I just want you to understand why I’m being so bold. Desperate measures, you know?”
Remy nodded while taking it all in and thinking it over. “How long?”
“As long as you’re willing.”
“You’re not coming back?”
Quin shrugged. “Even if we do get back before they’re ready to be weaned, Layla won’t be producing milk anymore.”
“Oh, yeah,” Remy mumbled.
Natalie rolled her eyes at her husband’s forgetfulness, but she affectionately hugged his arm. “Apparently I’m not the only one with baby brain.”
Remy laid a hand over hers while meeting her stare. “It’s up to you, babe. Your body, your call.”
“Will you help?”
“Yes, as long as it doesn’t have a negative effect on you or our kids.”
“It will be time consuming,” Quin confessed. “But I’ll pay you for it, whatever you think it’s worth.”
Remy continued to stare at his wife, trying to interpret her feelings on the matter while unravelling his own. Then she laid her cheek on his arm and sealed the deal. “What if it was our baby?”
Remy kissed her forehead then looked at Quin. “We’ll help as long as we can.”
“Thank you,” Quin breathed, offering Remy his hand. “This will make our departure a little easier. I won’t forget it.”
Remy glanced at Layla while accepting the handshake. “You’re welcome. We don’t wish to profit off your pain, so let’s wait and see how it goes before settling on a price. We’ll only charge what’s necessary to compensate Natalie for her time and effort. Deal?”
“Yes, if that’s what you prefer. Just let my parents or Caitrin know what you decide. They’ll be in charge of my finances.”
“We’ll do that.”
“Thanks again, guys. I could say it a thousand times and not express the depth of my gratitude.” He paused and glanced over his shoulder. “As soon as Layla learns what I’ve done, you’ll have her gratitude, as well.”
“A perk,” Natalie insisted. “We’re doing it for the babies.”
“That’s the best reason,” Quin approved. “And now you have favor with an angel.”
Remy smiled. “That can’t hurt.”
“Quite the contrary. It can save your life.”
Quin stepped forward and kissed Natalie’s cheek, once again thanking her. Then he moved aside and slapped Remy’s shoulder. “Thanks for coming to Benzio’s party. We’ll see you at the wedding.”
They agreed and strolled away, gathering their daughter in preparation for their departure, and Quin counted his blessings as he watched them go, grateful for good friends with big hearts.
He spent the next half hour saying bye to party guests while cleaning up the lawn, but Benzio continued to celebrate, playing in the bouncy house until Quin convinced him to go inside and check out his new toys.
Layla stayed glued to the toddler’s side, and she was rewarded for her devotion when he crawled onto her lap, wrapped his little arms around her neck, and sweetly kissed her cheek. “Today was the best day ever.”
Layla held tight while closing her eyes on tears. “I’m so glad you had fun.”
“The most fun.”
“You’ll get to do it again and again. There are lots of birthdays in your future.”
“I hope you can come back home for them.”
“Me, too, sweetie. I want that so much. I wish for it every night.”
“I’ll wish for it, too.”
“Good idea. Every night, no matter where we are, we’ll both look at the sky and make our wishes, and we’ll know that we’re thinking about each other while staring at the same stars. It will make us feel close, even if we’re far apart. Will you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect. We’ll wish upon the stars together.”
“Together,” he repeated. “I love you, Mom.”
She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, cradling his head in her palm as she drew a shaky breath. “I love you, too, Benz. Forever.”
By the time Benzio climbed off her lap and asked Quin to read him a story inside his starry nook, he battled heavy eyelids, too excited over his special day to let it end. Quin made him comfortable atop the pile of blankets while summoning a chapter book, but the toddler fell asleep before he could complete his duty of turning the page.
Quin stayed silent as he scanned the mellow aura beside him. Then he sent away the book and lowered his cheek to Benzio’s head. “Happy birthday, Son.”