Juan and Jose are pretty boys. Around my age. Olive-skinned. Jet black and slicked-back hair. Smooth skin. Expensive suits. Expensive shoes. The neatest white shirts and red ties. They’re identical. And beautiful.

Just beautiful.

And hot as holy fuck.

Mr. J. nudges me again.

Lady-boy Jesus is standing between them. I notice she – yeah, I think she suits being a she – now has a crop instead of a whip. She smiles at me and my pussy tingles. Fuck.

‘Begin!’ orders the flesh mountain from the bed.

In unison, Jesus pulls down the zippers of both boys’ trousers and releases their cocks. She takes a cock in each hand and works them to hardness. And what good-looking cocks they are. Oh, how my pussy throbs for them.

‘Take your clothes off,’ Mr. J. says.

I guess I must be getting used to this slut thing because my tee and my hotpants, along with my bat, are in Mr. J’s hands and I’m standing before the gorgeous duo with my feet apart and my fists on my hips like I’m fucking Wonder Woman.

Jesus lets go of the boys’ cocks and both Jose and Juan wink at me in unison. It’s really freaky.

But not as freaky as what happens next.

Both boys kick off their shoes and stand there motionless as Jesus unbuckles their belts and pulls down their trousers.

‘Whoa!’ I say when I see their false legs.

They shuffle backwards until their legs hit the bed then they sit, and I say whoa again as Jesus unclips their legs.

Next, she undoes their jackets, places them over a chair before returning for their ties and shirts, and when I see their false arms, and Jesus unclips those too, I think I can finally see where this is going.

Mr. J. kindly explains what is required of me, and I simply shrug. This sounds like fun. Juan and Jose are now lying on the enormous bed in front of Moma Paulina. The boys are flat on their backs, and, because there are no legs to get in the way, their dicks are pressed together, ball sack to ball sack.

All I have to do is climb on there and do the business.

There is one condition, Mr. J. tells me (in return for Moma loaning me her deformed sons): she will watch my antics while bringing herself off with the cucumber.

I shiver at that. She’s gonna eat it after, isn’t she? I think.

Mr. J’s raised eyebrow confirms that will be the case.

Christ!

‘Oh, and the boys are mute,’ Mr. J. tells me.

‘Mute?’

‘Can’t utter a sound. Defect of birth, along with the lack of limbs. It’s what becomes of… keeping it in the family.’

Why am I not surprised? Two hot guys with no arms, no legs, beautiful dicks, and no tongues, sounds like paradise to me. Oh, wait! ‘They have tongues, right?’

Mr. J. nods.

‘Then we’re all good,’ I say.

Jesus beckons me to the bed. She taps my ass with the crop as I step on up.

Just go for this, I think, my pussy tingling at the prospect.

I climb on the bed – trying not to look between Moma Paulina’s flabby legs as she gets to work with the cucumber – and I straddle the head of one of the twins – fuck knows which one.

It’s a strange feeling as I kneel over the boy’s face. With no arms to get in the way, I can hunker right down and squeeze the life out of his pretty little head. He doesn’t say a word (of course) just laps at my pussy with an expert tongue.

I lean forward and take the two cocks in my hands, working them a little, together as one. Identical cocks. I give the ends a lick and they taste good, too, and my boy is working my clit hard with that tongue. I feel the rise of heat and allow it to come, allow the orgasm to slip from me quickly with barely a shudder. I figure I’m getting quite the expert too.

From the corner of my eye, I keep seeing a blur of green, the cucumber. I can hear it squelching. Ugh! I try to block it out, focus on the other boy’s pretty face as I switch sides, settle my pussy onto his mouth and go back to kissing cocks as his tongue swirls around inside me.

Another pulse of heat. It’s tempting to hold onto it. But no. I hiss at the boy to ‘get my clit’ and he does, hard and fast and I’m coming in an instant, squashing my soaked pussy into his face.

‘Bueno! Bueno!’ says the frantic lump of flesh.

I block her out as I leave my perch and finally straddle the two awaiting dicks, both hard and proud and both all mine.

Pussy first, I decide, and it’s a squeeze, a real squeeze – a brief thought about how the hell I’m gonna get these up my ass – but I brush the thought away, force my pussy onto those lovely cocks and grunt and groan all the way as I lower myself until skin touches skin. And then I fuck them. Slowly at first. Pausing. Adjusting until it feels just right. Until my pussy is hot and wet and clamping them tight. And then I’m off, hands in the air, bucking on two cocks at once, and the pace starts to pick up a nice rhythm. A roll of heat in my tummy sends a wave of magic to my pussy and – and I can hear Moma Paulina saying something, but she can go fuck a–

The whack of the crop across my ass sears like a bitch. I yelp and fall away from the rampant cocks, coming face to face with the cucumber that was now, how should I say – mostly hidden.

Ugh!

‘I tell you stop!’ Moma says. ‘Boys jizzy jizzy soon. You save for asshole.’

I turn my gaze away from her and focus on the cocks. She’s right. They’re stiff, thick with veins, slick with my juices, the ends perfectly engorged and purple.

I mentally thank Mr. Chimpy for loosening me up a bit and once again I’m straddling the limbless duo. Down on my knees I go, grasping the two cocks in one hand, but it’s not so easy getting them in my ass as it was my pussy. I’m struggling, fumbling. There’s no way this is gonna happen.

Another searing whack of the crop on my ass tells me otherwise.

‘Let me help,’ Jesus says, ‘open cheeks for me.’

I hesitate, glance at Mr. J. He gives me a nod and my hands are on my ass, pulling my cheeks open and exposing my hole to Jesus.

When she leans into me and I feel her tongue on my asshole, licking then pushing inside, my clit flutters like crazy.

‘Tasty hole,’ Jesus tells me, and with one hand on the small of my back and another wrapped around Juan and Jose’s cocks, I feel the nudge, feel the burn as my asshole opens up and the two cock-ends ease their way in. ‘Push, push,’ says Jesus, pressing down on the small of my back.

And so, with my cheeks spread wide, I ease myself onto the solid hardness of two beautiful cocks.

‘All the way!’ Jesus instructs.

And I do. All the way until I’m sitting on their joined hips. I feel so full. Feel so good. It feels like those cocks are nudging at my stomach. Feels like I really need to fuck them now.

‘Ride ’em!’ yells Paulina.

Jesus whacks my ass with the crop, ‘Ride, ride!’

And I do. Slow at first, because fuck it’s tight. And fuck it hurts as I ease myself high and ease myself low. Another go and my ass is loving it. Sliding slowly up until those cocks are almost popping out of me. Clenching at them. Feeling them throb inside me. Sliding all the way back down, their cocks freshly lubed by my dribbling pussy juice. All the way down until I’m sitting on hip bones.

Quicker now, it feels so loose yet so tight at the same time. Just when I think it’s a shame that my nipples aren’t getting any attention, Jesus appears, straddles the torso in front of me and takes both my nipples in her fingers, squeezing hard and rolling them, sending sparks flying to my clit, to my ass.

Quicker now and slicker now because balance is easier with Jesus holding onto my tits. I slam up and down, shrieking and moaning and whimpering with every thrust. Even Juan and Jose are getting active, little bucking motions as their joined hips jostle and jive.

Quicker than ever. My mind is a blur. My ass and my pussy are on fire. The cocks inside me expand. They’re gonna come, and so am I, the best orgasm ever. And when it comes, my cry is so beautiful, the feeling of release between my legs an explosion of joy. My orgasm pulses and spins and I feel the boys coming too. Two cocks pumping away inside me, filling my ass with hot cum.

I shriek. I howl. The orgasm pulls me to a resounding high.

And then I’m hit – by the cucumber – as it’s propelled from between Paulina’s legs by a watery fountain, a fountain so intense it knocks me off my cocks and almost tears my ass in the process.

I’m screaming as a hand touches to my shoulder. A rip-fart blink and I’m back in the shower cubicle.

‘Fucking ow!’ I say to Mr. J. who’s standing outside the cubicle, holding my bat and costume.

‘Hmm,’ he replies.

‘Hmm?’

‘That didn’t quite go to plan.’

I turn the water onto cold and reverse my sore ass under the stream. ‘At least you got me outta there before she ate it.’

He looks at me quizzically.

‘The cucumber.’ I shudder at the thought.

‘Ah,’ he says, ‘yes, well. Never mind. Despite the errant vegetable–’

‘Fruit,’ I cut him off, ‘cucumbers are fruits. I read that somewhere.’

‘I dare say,’ he says, ‘nevertheless, despite the errant fruit, you did really well. Therefore, you win a special treat.’

He’s going to fuck me.

‘Yes, I am.’

A real fuck.

‘Not just any fuck.’

A real tall dark handsome fuck.

‘You’re too kind,’ he says and takes a step towards the shower cubicle.

‘Wait!’

‘Wait?’

‘Not here. Somewhere nice.’

He reaches into the cubicle, my fingers touch to his.

The rip-fart is long, as is the darkness. There’s no place like home, I find myself thinking… And we’re back in the room. The sparse little room. Mr. J. is sitting opposite me. He’s sipping cat-shit coffee, my costume and bat are by his side. I clamp my legs shut and fold my arms over my tits.

‘You’re never still shy,’ he says.

I guess I’m not feeling so shy, but screwed if I’m sitting here naked while he’s fully dressed and ogling me. I’m nervous, though. Is he really going to fuck me?

‘Where would you like me to fuck you?’ he asks.

I swallow the lump in my throat. ‘There’s options?’

‘Wherever you want.’

‘Like where?’ I have the feeling Mr. J’s knowledge of the best places to fuck is way beyond anything I know.

He puts his cup down on the side table, hunches forward with his elbows on his thighs. Clasps his big hands together. ‘Miami? Barbados? Vegas? Hawaii? The North Pole, or up a mountain? Or back home in your own bed? Wherever you wish, Kirsty.’

‘Home?’

‘Yes.’

That’s when I get the wickedest of wicked ideas. ‘Any home?’

‘What?’

‘You could whisk us to any home? And keep us invisible?’

He sighs at this. He knows what I’m gonna ask for.

‘Who first?’ he says.

‘You mean you’ll do it?’

He shrugs. ‘In for a penny, in for a pound.’

‘Wow! Thanks!’ I reach forward to hug him, remembering suddenly that I’m still naked. My hands touch to his upper arms and a blip-fart later we’re standing in… Michelle’s kitchen.

The droning sound of a vacuum cleaner is coming from the living room. Michelle must be cleaning. Not the excitement I’d hoped for.

‘What did you hope for?’ asks Mr. J.

I waggle an eyebrow at him, ‘Something naughty maybe.’

He takes my hand in his, leads me from the kitchen and into the spacious living room where the sound of the vacuum cleaner is so much louder – and that’s because there’s two of them. Michelle and Jocelyn are butt naked, each holding a hose attached to a shop-vac, the end of Michelle’s hose is attached to Jocelyn’s left tit. Jocelyn’s hose is attached to Michelle’s left tit. And my jaw is on the fucking floor.

They’re kissing. Touching. Moaning and whining under the drone of the shop-vacs.

‘Fucking hell,’ is all I can say.

‘Hot as hell,’ Mr. J. says.

‘Do they do this often?’

‘Once a month, they get together for fun.’

They never ask me. I thought they were my besties. We share everything, but obviously not this. I know that I’m invisible to them, but still I try to cover my nakedness.

‘You want to join in?’ asks Mr. J.

‘Join in?’

‘If I will you visible, I’m sure they’ll jump you in a heartbeat.’

‘No way,’ I tell him, ‘don’t you dare.’ And the lump in my throat swells. I take a shuddering breath, but I can’t stop the tears. I reach for Mr. J’s hand, ‘please take me home.’