Vina was doing something to him. Something Ramsey didn’t understand, something he couldn’t comprehend, something he couldn’t explain if he sat there for hours and tried.

Ramsey sat back in his creaking chair at the bar as he watched Vina play pool—quite terribly, if he was honest—with Decker. A few of the others were hanging around, giving her shit, calling her Soccer Mom and Queena, which was the combo of queen and Vina that one of the drunk crows had come up with in a moment of genius. She was taking the nicknames in stride, though. She could take a joke. Test passed, because in this clubhouse, that’s what they did. They gave each other shit and they dished it back and they moved on.

“She’s something else,” Rike said from behind him.

Ramsey turned to see his Third wiping down the counter with a white rag.

“Yeah, she’s shit at pool. Remind me never to play doubles on her team,” Ramsey teased.

“Ha. There it is.”

Ramsey frowned. “There what is?”

“One of the first genuine smiles I’ve seen on you in four years. You been wearin’ it a lot tonight while you sit over here like a creeper watching your mate.”

“My mate? Nah.” He stared at Vina. “Four years?” Ramsey asked softly.

Rike sighed and leaned on his elbows on the bar, nodding his head. “Kasey was right. You did preach about love being poison, and it was. For you. And for us who had to watch Tenlee hurt you, and feel the aftereffects, it was poison too. Tenlee? She didn’t ever belong here. Your crow fucked up when he picked her.” His dark eyes scanned to where Vina was leaning over the pool table, lining up a shot into the corner pocket that no one could possibly miss. She missed. She laughed, her giggle sounding clear like a bell in contrast to the gritty laughter from the boys. Rike gave Ram a crooked smile. “The soccer mom fits better. You know what I saw tonight?”

“What?”

“I saw you kiss her over there when I was pouring shots. I saw you kiss Tenlee dozens of times, and it was always the same. She pulled away. She flinched away from your touch. She looked sad, uncomfortable, and I know you felt that rejection every time you touched her. I could see it on your face, too. That’s like your heart getting whipped for years, Ram. I thought you’d be ruined from it. Never want to touch a girl again unless you were fucking her, no emotions. But tonight?” Rike twitched his head at Vina. “That girl leaned into you like there was no one else in the whole world but you two. She was stiff when she came in here, tense, and you melted her to fit right against you. And when you pulled away, she had this smile that lingered and hasn’t gone away yet. Look at her.”

Ram dragged his attention to Vina, and their gazes collided. She looked away quick, cheeks turning a pretty color of pink at being busted staring at him. That smile Rike talked about was right there, curving her full lips, as she snuck him another shy, sideways glance.

“She can’t help lookin’ at you,” Rike said. “Been doin’ it all night like she misses you, and you’re sitting right here.”

“Don’t mean she belongs,” Ethan said from a few chairs down. His long hair hid the side of his face, but he seemed to be looking at Vina, too. Ram had this instant urge to grab the back of his hair and slam his face onto the bar just for lookin’ dirty at his mate. Errr…his girl. Mate was the wrong word. It had jumped into his head because Rike just used the term. That’s all. Fuck. Everything was confusing. And that made him want to pummel Ethan even more.

“Maybe it’s you who doesn’t belong,” Ramsey said. He let his words stay cool, but under his skin, his blood was boiling hot.

Ethan took a long swig of his beer and slammed it on the counter, then stood and sauntered toward the pool table.

“Watch your step,” Ramsey warned him.

“Or what?” Ethan asked, turning and walking backward with a devil-may-care smile.

“Or I’ll put you in the corner with the rest of the ghosts.” And he fuckin’ meant it. Oh, he knew what had almost happened tonight. Trouble had been brewing in the Clan for a while, and Ethan wasn’t acting right. He’d been closed off. Stopped talking openly to Ramsey. He had the others in his head, telling him to challenge Ramsey for the Clan and save them all. At the cost of Ramsey. Well, he could’ve fuckin’ tried tonight, and Ethan would’ve died for it. So what if he was pissed his little coup didn’t happen? He could’ve still thrown down an Alpha Challenge. He could whenever he wanted to. If he pushed Ramsey too much, Ramsey would call an Alpha Challenge himself and put Ethan squarely in his place. Under Rike this time. Maybe at the bottom of the fuckin’ Clan just to make an example of him.

Ethan wasn’t stupid, though. He knew Ramsey would do that without hesitation. It’s why he hadn’t Challenged him earlier. He was treading a thin line now. Letting his anger build. The Clan had put that hunger for power in his head. Ramsey knew all about that. He’d fought for his place at the top of the crows so the power could feed his insatiable appetite. Ramsey didn’t trust his Second anymore. Tonight was a celebration of life. It wasn’t a time for messing with the pecking order of the MC. The focus needed to be on Grant’s passing. Tonight honored a fallen crow.

Tomorrow Ramsey would deal with Ethan and get his Clan back in line.

If he was sane enough. God, Vina had her work cut out for her.

The smile fell from Vina’s lips as Ethan whispered something into her ear. The light dimmed from her eyes. She gripped her pool stick like she wanted to blast it against Ethan’s face.

Ram didn’t know what pissed him off more: Ethan stealing Vina’s good night or that his lips were close to his girl. In the shadows, the ghosts were restless, as if they could feel the darkness building inside of Ram.

Ethan was playing a dangerous game and building a storm. The broken mating bond to Tenlee felt like nothing more than a brush against his soul compared to the black fury that was consuming Ram as he watched Ethan ease away from Vina with a wicked smile on his lips.

****

“You’ll never belong here. Never with him. He’ll always be bigger than you,” Ethan murmured in Vina’s ear.

“Ethan, back off,” Kasey murmured from his place against the wall. He looked exhausted, his eyes sunken in, as though he’d aged ten years tonight.

“You should know your place here,” Ethan told her. “You rank somewhere under the cockroaches. And when you walk out of here crying because you’ve been demolished, I’ll have warned you. Crows feed on lesser shifters like you. Ram might be king, but you ain’t no queen.”

Something shiny and silver flew past her so fast she gasped and lurched back.

Thud! The knife hit the wall behind them at the same time Ethan yelled, “Fuck!” and flinched toward her. He put his hand to his cheek, and when he pulled it away, his fingers were smeared with crimson.

At the bar, Ram stood leaning against the bar top on his elbows, chin lifted high, eyes black as night and trained on Ethan. “I told you to watch your step. That’s your warning. I won’t miss on the next one.”

Rike stood frozen, just behind Ram on the other side of the bar, eyes round, mouth hanging open.

Ethan glared at his Alpha for a few loaded moments and then cast Vina a furious glare. Blood streamed down his jawline on his left side.

“Well, that’s gonna leave a mark,” she muttered.

Behind her, a couple of the boys snickered. Ethan bowed low, his eyes never leaving hers. “Queen,” he gritted out. Then he spun on his heel and made his way out the front door, red polka-dotting the floor in a trail behind him. The door slammed, and a second later, the roar of a Harley engine rumbled.

Then he was gone, and Ramsey was headed her way, looking like pure fury. Uh oh.

“What did I do?” she asked as she set the pool stick on the table.

“It’s what you’re gonna do that matters, Vina,” Ramsey snarled. “Night boys.”

“Good luck,” Kasey called as Ram led her toward the stairs by an unbreakable grip on her hand. Whether he was talking to Vina or Ram, she couldn’t tell.

There was a heaviness roiling around Ramsey and making it nearly impossible to breathe. By the time they reached the top of the stairs, she was gasping for breath, and her entire body felt like it wanted to freeze in place.

She made it all the way to the top of the stairs before she eased out of his grasp. “Ram, are you okay?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he turned on her. He gripped her waist with one hand, the other cupping her neck as he pushed her back against the wall. With anyone else, she would’ve fought being trapped against a wall by a dominant. But with Ram, it was just him. Rough boy when he was in the heat of the moment. The kiss on her lips was volatile, but she loved it. He wasn’t hiding who he was, or gentling down to coddle her. He was asking her to accept him as is. His mouth moved against hers with the force of a hurricane and the desperation of some wild animal cornered and hurt. His grip on her tightened the second she let off a little needy moan, and he rolled his pelvis against hers. His big, hard erection was right there, separated from her skin by only a few layers of clothing. This wasn’t how she’d imagined sex with a crow would happen. It wasn’t in her rules. This was unpredictable, just like Ram, and in that moment, she knew it would always be like this. She could fight it and cling to her rules on how lovemaking should go with her, or she could put it in his hands and accept the man she was falling in love with for all of his unpredictable ways.

Ram picked her up, pushed her back against the wall again, and ground his hips between her legs. Vina threw her head back and closed her eyes as his lips went to her throat. His whiskers were rough against her sensitive skin there, but it felt so good. She was revved up, she could finish just like this, clothes on with him rubbing against her.

“Who do you belong to?” he ground out against her neck.

“No one,” she growled stubbornly.

“Wrong answer.” He yanked her off the wall but didn’t put her down. Instead, he walked with her wrapped around him toward the last door at the end of the hallway like she weighed nothing at all. Vina gripped the back of his neck to stay in place, and when he kicked the door to his bedroom closed behind them, she reached for the light switch to turn it off.

“Nope,” he growled, intertwining one hand with her outstretched fingers.

“But the lights are on,” she pointed out breathlessly.

“I’m not fucking you in the dark, Vina. I wanna see your body.”

“But…but…” She was supposed to fight this part though, right? Because she wasn’t super-confident about what she looked like naked, she was supposed to argue for the lights being off. At least for the first twenty times?

Ram dumped her on the mattress, and she bounced once with a squeak. Argument time! But when she parted her lips to give him what for, Ram stood over her, removing his shirt and, oh my good green plant life in the spring, the man was fine.

Vina lay there like a stunned starfish staring at his flexing eight-pack. Tattoos—yes, biceps—delicious, shoulders—broader than a barn door, smile…utterly wicked.

She went to close her legs, embarrassed by how much her body was already reacting to him, but he reached forward and shoved her knees back apart and shook his head slowly.

Hot. Man.

This was like a book! Or like a movie. Like one of those sexy movies where the couple was cool and coordinated, except she was a clumsy good-girl nerd who knew not what she was doing in the bedroom. Apparently, Ramsey had this though, so now was the time. No arguing for the lights, she should just enjoy this. And forget what Stupid Ethan said about her not belonging with Ram. The King of Crows apparently felt differently because he was definitely unbuttoning his jeans. Was she supposed to take her clothes off now? Yes! Absolutely probably she should. She sat up to struggle out of her blouse, but it had a zipper in back, and she wasn’t looking that sexy as she struggled with it.

Ram straddled her, clad only in his jeans that were unfastened and shoved part of the way down his hips. Good golly, he was a sexy man. Bad boy, but deep down a good man. A confident man. She thought he was going to help her unzip her shirt, but nope. Riiiiiiiiiiiip!

She didn’t even care that it was one of her favorite dress-up shirts. This was hot. He yanked the tattered fabric from her arms and eased her back onto the bed with his lips pressed on hers. He tasted so good. So familiar already. Each stroke of his tongue had her wanting him more and more. His hands were everywhere. Not rough, but not gentle. He was exploring her body as he kissed her. Memorizing it, perhaps, and she understood. She was dragging her palms down his chest, across his taut nipples, down the hard mounds of his abs. She hooked her fingers in the band of his briefs and touched the swollen head of his cock. She smiled against his kiss at the soft, appreciative moan that rumbled from his chest.

He was annihilating the friend-zone he’d planned on keeping them in one kiss at a time. Ramsey pulled her ripped-up black jeans down her legs then yanked off her sandals and tossed them behind him so hard they banked off the wall with twin thuds. Her panties came off next, and then her bra, and she should feel so exposed right now as he kissed his way down her stomach with sexy smacking sounds. But she didn’t. She was just…getting lost in the moment and, God, what a relief to escape the mess that was always in her head. All those little insecure voices quieted to nothing as Ram kissed down, down, and pushed her legs farther apart as he settled at the edge of the bed, face right there between her thighs. He used his teeth gently as he nipped his way around her sex, teasing, torturing. Vina was writhing toward him by the time he kissed her clit. He slid his tongue along her entrance, and she whispered his name in a plea for more. Lick, lick, lick…he was setting a perfect pace as she moved with him. Sliding her hands into his hair, she spread her knees even wider, rolling her hips as he built the pressure in her middle lick by sexy lick. He’d wrapped his arms around her thighs, and his fingertips were digging into her skin as he pulled her closer with each movement of his jaw. “Ramsey, Ramsey,” she whispered, throwing her head back, arching her spine, seeing stars, all of it. He plunged his tongue deep into her, and she was done. She cried out as her body pulsed around him, but he didn’t stop. He licked her on and on, pushing the throbbing to last longer as she gasped and twitched.

And then it was Ram’s turn. He crawled over her, straddled her, and pushed her up on the mattress, up, up, until her head rested against the headboard. Then he rolled her onto her side, shoved her knees to her chin, and braced himself right at her entrance. She could see him so clearly. This was better than him taking her from behind because she could watch him. Could see his muscles move as he pushed slowly into her. Her orgasm was still pulsing so the pleasure of him inside of her intensified. Ram rolled his eyes closed and let off a soft grunt as he buried himself deep inside her. And then he reared back and slammed into her.

Oh, he was making sure he didn’t give into her rules about missionary position. He took care of her first, but he was letting her know he was boss here. Dominant man. He thrust into her harder and faster, his abs flexing as he slid his hand down her arm and then gripped her hip, pinning her in place as he fucked her. And that’s what this was. It was fucking. Part of her frowned, but most of her just wanted to get caught up in the moment with him. To see what he was like in the bedroom. Already, she could feel the darkness fading from him. She could breathe easier. God, he was so sexy here, bucking into her smoothly, those pitch-black eyes on her and full of such intensity she couldn’t look away if she tried. She was going to finish again. Already, he was building that same pressure. He felt so good inside of her, and timidly, Vina touched her clit.

“Fuck yes,” he gritted out. “Keep doing that. I want to watch.”

So as he pummeled her from the side, her head banging gently against the headboard, their bodies moving together, she touched between her legs. She could feel him sliding in and out of her, and it was the hottest moment she’d ever been a part of. For the rest of her life, she would never forget the sight of Ramsey’s big, powerful body flexing against her. He gripped onto the top of the headboard, and whispered, “Fuck, Vina,” as he sped up. “Tell me who you belong to.”

“I’m gonna come again,” she whispered.

“Tell me,” he snarled.

“No one,” she said.

Fire flashed in his eyes. Oh, she got it. She wanted him to belong to her too, but he’d already bonded, and giving herself completely to a man who she could never fully possess was terrifying.

Ramsey pulled out of her, rolled her onto her back, and pulled her hand away from her clit. He slid into her slowly and kissed her neck, up, up, until he reached her lips.

This wasn’t fucking anymore. It was slow touches, kissing, and a languid pace that said he wasn’t in a rush to finish. It was him taking care of her body.

His fingers trailed fire down her skin, and his kisses were gentle. He sipped at her lips like he was tasting her, and as minutes drew on, he became more and more gentle. He stroked her face, traced her jawline as he eased her closer and closer to release. And she did the same for him. She kissed and sucked on his skin, ran her knuckles up his whiskers into his hair. When he locked eyes with her, they weren’t black. They were blue, and he looked in awe. He caught her hand and kissed her palm, kissed her wrist, bit it gently, and murmured against the sensitive skin there, “You won’t say it yet, but you know you’re mine.”

He laid his weight over her like a comfortable blanket and pushed deep inside her, stayed deep, made shallow thrusts right there against her clit, and Vina was completely lost in this man. Nothing in her life had ever been like this. Not as significant. Not as important. Something big was happening between her and Ram. Something she didn’t understand, but that filled her with hope.

“Ramsey,” she whispered as the first pulse of her orgasm shattered her, “I’m yours.”

Ram groaned and pushed into her hard, his dick throbbing warmth into her. He gripped the back of her neck and buried his face against her shoulder as he pushed in again and again, filling her with his own release. And when they were done, both spent, he rolled off her, but brought her with him, and he hugged her up tight against his drumming heartbeat.

They didn’t say anything for a long time. There was no sound but the soft drone of the air conditioner. Ram had the capacity to do great damage. The knife sunk deep into the wall and the trail of blood downstairs said as much. But with her, he’d gone gentle with a touch. He’d gone tender and caring. Loving.

“I’ve never done that before,” he rumbled at last.

“Done what?”

“Been with a girl slow. Paid attention when I was with her. Fell…”

“What do you mean, fell?”

Ram swallowed audibly. “I can feel your heartbeat against my chest.”

Vina pressed her lips to his throat and smiled against his skin . “Me, too.” She pressed her palm over his left peck just to feel the slow thrumming there.

“I once heard someone say ‘the beating of your heart matters more than the beating of mine.’ I can’t get it out of my head. I think that’s what love is supposed to be like.”

Stunned, Vina pressed her lips right over his heartbeat. She knew exactly what he meant. “Someday, say it back to me, okay?”

“Say what?” he asked.

“Say you’re mine, too.”

He didn’t say anything, only stroked his fingertips up and down her spine slowly, as if comforting her was the only thing he could give.

He couldn’t give her words or promises yet, but someday, she hoped he would. She hoped she became important enough. That she became big enough, like he was with her.

She hoped that someday he would catch up with her. Until then, she had to be patient because Ramsey was full of damage. And though his damage was beautiful to her, for him it was painful, and he had to heal his heart before he could give it to her.

The beating of your heart matters more than the beating of mine.

Vina sighed and pressed her hand harder over the bum-bum, bum-bum of his.

Yeah, that sounded right.