My mind is soaring a million realm jumps a minute.

His cousin is the one who hurt me.

His cousin is here in the kingdom.

My attacker is here.

Jules presses a savoring kiss to the top of my head then steps away from me. Worry screams in his eyes as he grasps the doorknob. “Stay here, okay? Only open the door for Legend and Rune.” He yanks open the door, but then pauses, keeping his back to me. “I’m so sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you.” Before I can respond, he rushes out of the room and closes the door behind him.

A jump of a heartbeat after he leaves, his words click. Wait. He said he was sorry? That he’d make this up to me? Does Jules think what happened to me is his fault because his cousin was the one who hurt me?

I pad over to the window and draw back the curtain. The sky is a glossy shimmer of silver and violet stars, and the land is shadowed, except for the lampposts lighting up the street. A few werewolves are out and about, strolling the street, but I’m searching for one werewolf in particular.

A star flicker of a second later, Jules emerges from the house right below the window, his strides long and determined. Shade is right behind him.

I flip the latch, glide the window open, and then stick my head out. “Jules!” I call out.

He skids to a stop and whirls around, his gaze darting up to me. “Is everything okay?”

I nod. “I just wanted—no, needed—to say that this isn’t your fault.”

He’s a bundle of tension. “I know.”

I don’t believe him.

“Do you? Because, what you said when you walked out of here sounded an awful lot like you blaming yourself again.”

“Lake,” he starts, “can we talk about this later? I really need to take care of this.”

“Fine. But just know that the conversation will go exactly how it is now.” I place my hands on the windowsill and lean farther out, holding his gaze. “What happened to me isn’t your fault.”

He nods, but doubt lingers. “Okay.”

I release a sigh. “Just be careful, okay?”

His lips strain to smile. “Always.”

As I duck back inside, I realize Jules and I have exchanged those parting words before. A long time ago. I can’t place a memory to the words, but I wonder if perhaps my mind is attempting to remember.

A confliction of fear and excitement stirs inside my chest. Excitement to remember the lovelier stuff about my past, yet afraid to be pulled into the darker memories.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

My body lurches as I spin around. Jules said not to open the door for anyone but Rune and Legend.

I tiptoe toward it, wishing for a weapon. Not that I could use it properly or anything, but at least I could try.

“Lake.” Legend’s voice floats through the door. “Open up. It’s me and Rune.”

A relieved exhale rushes from my lungs as I throw open the door.

Legend and Rune are standing on the other side. Legend is a mask of concern, and Rune radiates uneasiness as he grips a metallic sword in his hand.

“You look like you’re going into battle,” I remark to Rune as I open the door wider and let them in.

Once they’re inside, Legend pulls me in for a hug while Rune locks us in.

“Are you okay?” Legend asks, drawing back.

I nod, tugging at the hem of my shirt, wishing I had changed before they came in. “I’m fine, I guess … Did Jules tell you what happened?”

“A rushed version of it,” Legend says. “But I caught on enough to figure out you told him about the attack.”

I sneak a glance at Rune, camped out near the window, surveying the streets. “It sort of slipped out during an emotional breakdown,” I mutter, turning back to Legend. “I think that stupid faerie magic drink messed with my head.”

“It does that sometimes,” he agrees. “I don’t know how many times I’ve done and said stuff while drunk off magic that I completely and utterly regret.”

“You and every creature out there,” Rune grumbles, inserting his sword into a leather holster fastened around his waist.

Legend’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “See, you’re not alone in this.” He lowers his voice. “Do you want to talk about what happened? Because, while I got the gist of what’s going on, Jules’ hurried version left me with a lot of questions.”

“I’ll tell you. But, can I shower and change first? I feel yucky and gross.” Not to mention entirely uncomfortable wearing nothing but a T-shirt, even if the fabric smells lovely.

“Of course.” Legend nods at a shut door. “Your bag’s already in the bathroom.”

“How did you get it in there …?” I put my hands up in front of me. “Never mind. You used your little magic transport-my-bag-wherever-you-want-it-to-go trick, didn’t you?”

Pride shines in his eyes. “You have no idea just how many tricks I have up my sleeve.”

“Now you’ve got me really curious.”

“If you’re lucky, maybe one day I’ll show you.”

“So cocky here.”

His chuckling carries across the room as I slip into the bathroom and close the door. The seclusion hits me instantaneously, and I crumble to the floor. Everything—the last handful of days—crash over me all at once. Tears flow as I hug my legs to my chest, crying out every ounce of agony, from forgetting my life, to horrible foster families I lived with, to that goddamn tragic day in the alley. All the pain pours out of me and drowns my face in tears. Pain I wasn’t even aware I was carrying.

How have I lived the last decade with so much aguish crushing against my chest? How did I breathe?

I really don’t know the answer. All I know is that I never want to go back to that place of darkness and despair ever again.