Over the next few days, I fall into rhythm with Jules. We spend most of our time reading through books, testing my powers in our dreams, and occasionally making out. We haven’t gone any further than him biting me, and I haven’t bit him yet. My wolf wants to, though. Frenziedly wants to. Jules always stops me whenever I try, though, worried that somehow the bite will force the alterum dimidium animae connection to emerge inside me before I’m ready. The closer we get, though, the more I find myself wishing for a glimpse of violet in my eyes. So far, my eyes are set on teal.

During the rare instances when I’m not with Jules, I’m either training with Rune or hanging out with Liberty or Legend. Although, Legend has been spending more time away due to a situation in the vampire world, details to which he won’t give me.

“Sorry, Lake, but as you’ll soon realize in this realm, we won’t be able to tell each other everything that goes on in our lives,” he told me apologetically the other day. “We’re different creatures, and sometimes secrets must stay secrets amongst our kinds.”

The truth of his words made me severely sad, yet I knew he was right. After all, with every day that breezes by, I’m keeping more and more secrets from him, like my growing abilities and Jules’ suspicions about the king being behind the vines.

With so much of my time wrapped up in the werewolf world, I hardly notice that a week has passed until Jules announces it’s time to meet Ava for my next memory session. I’m a bit grumpy about going, but he assures me I won’t have to kiss any creature, except him, of course. A statement he makes true the moment we arrive to meet Ava at a tiny hut in the safe zone Jules spoke of.

Before we walk in the hut, Jules brands my lips with a scorching kiss. The exchange sparks mild curiosity in Ava’s eyes, but Jules gives her no time to comment as he moves to unlock the door and ushers us inside, leaving the guards to spread out in the field that surrounds the hut.

Inside, the area consists of a small room with a round table and four chairs, a single window, and a few empty shelves. Every inch of the place is covered in a thick layer of dust.

“No one’s been here in years,” Jules explains to us as we get seated at the table. “And the place is charmed so only creatures who mean my family no harm can gain entry.”

“What was this place used for?” I ask, tracing a heart in the dirt covering the table.

He scratches the corner of his eye, a sign that he’s uneasy. “My mom used to have small tea parties and gatherings here with her friends.”

“Oh.” I feel awful for unintentionally bringing up his mom, especially when I’ve yet to tell him I could cure her.

I’m a terrible wolf. Truly awful.

“You’re fine.” Jules reads the guilt on my face and places a hand over mine. “I can handle talking about her.”

“I know you can.” But the sorrow in his eyes amplifies every time he does.

“My, my, you two have gotten awfully close over the last week,” Ava observes with interest. “Maybe you’ll end up being her alterum dimidium animae, after all, Jules.”

“You say that as if you doubted it before now?” Jules replies indifferently, but his fingers twitch over mine.

Ava simply shrugs. “Well, up until a couple of weeks ago, we thought she was dead, didn’t we?”

“I never fully settled on that theory,” Jules bites out. “I always hung on to a little hope that she’d come back to me one day.”

Warmth spreads through my chest as he snags my gaze and lets his eyes shimmer violet.

“Maybe she shouldn’t have,” Ava mumbles. When Jules roars with rage, she rolls her eyes. “Will you relax? I’m just trying to tell you that perhaps the Violet Mountain kingdom isn’t the place for her.” She burns a pressing look into us. “That perhaps the city is a far better place to stay safe.” She doesn’t flat-out say it, but the look she gives us is enough of a warning.

Stay in the city, away from Violet Mountain, or my life could be in danger.

* * *

Ava makes our session quick, seeming in a hurry to leave. Only fifteen minutes after Jules and I arrived, we are heading back to the house in the city with a few of his guards following closely behind.

“Why do you think she was warning me to stay away from the Violet Mountain kingdom?” I ask as we amble up the paved streets of the city, passing by busy shops, trendy clubs, and the occasional food cart.

Unlike the first time I was in the city, less creatures gawk at me. When I asked Jules why, he informed me that the first time I was here, I didn’t have a scent. And like with Jules, my presence confused paranormals. Now that my skin smells sweetly of stars, moon dust, and violet, other creatures don’t question what I am anymore.

“I’m not sure. But, since Ava is bound to my father, I’m guessing it has something to do with him.” Jules skims his finger along the inside of my wrist. “I think I need to get ahold of Shade and see what’s going on in the kingdom.”

“You don’t think anyone found out about me, do you?”

“Doubtful, since only you and I know about your gift.”

Guilt. So much guilt.

It’s time to tell him, Lake. No more secrets.

“That’s actually not true,” I whisper, hoping Jules is the wolf I believe him to be. That my trust in him isn’t a mistake. Still, I can’t shake the drop of doubt, an inkling of distrust that stems from another werewolf. I hate myself for feeling that way.

Jules isn’t Slate.

His attention snaps to me. “You told someone.”

“I did.” I quicken my steps up the hill, making him take longer strides to keep up with me. “But I can’t tell you who or what was said out here. It’s too dangerous.”

Nodding, we practically soar toward his house.

* * *

Locked in his room, I gaze out the window at the towering misshaped buildings that form the city. In the far, far distance, past the noise and the busyness, the vines coil across the land, blackening the dirt below. The plants have grown so much over the course of a few days that the thorns nearly touch the magical supplies shops on the very border of the city.

Jules, who’s remained almost too quiet the rest of the trip home, takes a seat on the bed beside me. “Are you going to tell me who you told?” His voice is uneasy with control.

I lick my dry lips and sputter the confession before I can back out. “I told Legend the day we left for the city.”

He folds his fingers inward as he stares out the window. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because I was afraid of what Legend told me.”

“Which was?”

Summoning a breath, I give him a quick recap of what Legend and I spoke of that day. When I finish, I trap my breath in my chest and wait. Wait for what, I’m not sure. For him to lecture me. For him to comfort me. For him to beg me to throw myself into the vines so his mother and any other creature who’s been cursed with the vines’ poison will be freed from their shadowy prison.

He says nothing, though, and the weight of his silence is far worse than any lecture he could give me.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I shatter the silence at last.

“What do you want me to say?” His hollowness makes guilt squash my soul.

“I don’t know. Something … Anything … Maybe what you’re thinking,” I basically plead.

“You want to know what I’m thinking?” He finally, finally looks at me, and what I see makes me shrink back.

Undiluted heartbreak.

“I’m thinking that I know why you didn’t tell me.” Pain carves into his words. “That you thought I’d sacrifice you to heal my mother. That I’d let you die. That I don’t care about you enough not to use you as a sacrifice.”

I can’t deny his accusation unless I want to lie. And I don’t want to lie to him anymore.

“I wasn’t sure if you would, but a part of me worried that you might. And while I’ve thought about doing it myself—jumping into those vines to save this realm—so far, I’m too much of a coward.”

“You’re not a coward.” Violet light swallows up the room. “You barely know this realm. And no creature in their right mind would expect you to lay down your life to get rid of some toxic plants.”

“But they might if it meant saving the creatures they loved.”

“Not when they love the creature who would be sacrificed.” He’s said something similar to me before, but always in the heat of a passionate argument.

“Look, I don’t think you know—”

“No, you don’t know,” he cuts me off, folding his palms around my hips as he pulls me to him. Then his forehead meets mine, his panting breaths dusting my skin. “I love you, Lake. I loved you before you disappeared, and I love you now. But this love, this fucking I-can’t-breathe-when-I’m-not-around-you feeling that’s consumed my chest, it isn’t the same thing as what I felt for you before. I loved you as a friend before. I loved you as my alterum dimidium animae before. But these last couple weeks, I fell in love with you, and that love, it’s forever in my heart and soul, right there with the alterum dimidium animae. And it’s not going anywhere, so believe me when I say that I will never throw you into those damn vines, and I will never let any other creature do so. And I will beg on my fucking knees until I take my last breath if it means it can convince you not to sacrifice yourself.”

Words. I can’t find them. They don’t exist. Neither does oxygen.

Speechlessness owns me for far too long as I struggle to find the right thing to say. Ultimately, I give up and simply kiss him, only breaking for air when I’m on the verge of suffocating. Even then, I almost don’t stop.

“I’m sorry I thought that. I’m sorry for doubting you. And I won’t go into the vines,” I say breathlessly, then aim for a teasing tone. “Although, your dramatic gesture of getting down on your knees does sound appealing.”

He shakes his head, his thoroughly kissed lips quirking. “Does it now?”

I nod. “Oh, it completely does.”

He sucks a lip ring between his teeth. “If that’s what you want, then …” He stands from the bed then drops to his knees in front of me. He places his palms on my thighs, branding heat against my skin. “Please don’t sacrifice yourself, for the sake of my poor heart that you now hold in your hand.”

“Wow, I feel so powerful,” I tease, but the humor vanishes as I realize he may be right.

After all, he said he loves me. I don’t think I can say it back yet. And I’m his alterum dimidium animae, but he hasn’t been declared mine. While I care about him tremendously, his soul giving love hasn’t been reciprocated.

If you had asked me a month ago if I thought loving a werewolf could be possible, I’d have told you that you’re a raving lunatic for even asking. Now, the possibility is there, a violet flame inside my heart, waiting for the right moment to be released.

Wanting to show him that I care about him and trust him, I do the only thing I can think of. I pull him from his kneeling position and guide his lips toward mine. He doesn’t hesitate, kissing me back, letting his emotions pour through the kiss as he lies me down on the bed. Then he situates his strong body over mine, hands roving all over across my sides, my hips, my legs. But, like always, he never ventures outside of those areas.

Normally, I fear him touching me in places that are invisibly scarred. But, right now, I think I might want to explore the idea, test the waters a bit. See if my mind and body can handle it. See what it’s like for him to touch me like that, if perhaps he can heal more emotional scars.

“Jules,” I murmur between his soul-baring kisses. “I think I want to … I think you …” For the love of all blushing stupidity, just spit it out, Lake. “I think I want to try something.” Then, because I can’t get the damn words out of my mouth, I grab his hand and guide it to the top of my shorts.

Thank the wolves he figures out what I want without me having to declare it. Maybe one day I’ll be able to, but right now, I’m too restless with nervousness.

“Are you sure?” Jules asks, pulling back to look at me.

I give an unsteady nod, and then he’s undoing the button of my shorts, slipping his hand inside my panties. Slowly, he touches me, moving his fingers back and forth, not fully entering, just teasing.

“Lake, breathe,” he whispers against my lips, pausing with uncertainty.

I free a breath, and then, before I lose my nerve, I slam my lips against his, kissing him through my nerves. But when his finger slides inside me, I forget to breathe altogether as he feels me thoroughly and kisses me to the point that I veer toward shattering.

I latch on to him, fingernails tearing at his shirt. Our kisses and touches no longer feel like enough. Starved, I want to bite him. I want to scream. I want to merge my body and soul and wolf with his.

A cry rips from my chest as I writhe my hips in rhythm with his finger. When he works another finger inside me, my teeth beg to imprint his neck, plead for me to let go. I might have, too, but then he hits the right spot and I break apart completely, shattering and drifting away to the most wonderful place.

A handful of desperate breaths for air later, I blink up at Jules, who’s looking at me with wonderment.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, or more like pant.

“It’s nothing.” He smiles warmly. “It’s just that you’re so beautiful normally, but when you’re like this, you’re breathtaking.”

“Aw, and there’s those player lines.” I try for a tired smile.

“You know, I might think you were actually serious if it weren’t for the fact that you’re blushing.” He traces the star mark on my temple with his lips. “You do that all the time—blush when I compliment you.”

“I’ve never been good with compliments. Usually, whenever someone complimented me, they were either setting me up to tease me, or they had too much interest in me.”

He meets my gaze, his brows knit. “What do you mean by too much interest?”

I shrug, wishing I hadn’t brought it up. “It’s nothing. It’s just that, sometimes my foster fathers would tell me I was beautiful, but it wasn’t a good thing.”

His eyes are flickers of violet panic. “Lake, did—”

I cover his mouth with my hand. “Nothing happened like what Slate did to me. They just looked at me too long and sometimes stole touches as I was walking by them. I spent a lot of time sleeping with my bed pressed against the bedroom door.” I lower my hand to my waist.

He takes a few inhales and exhales until the violet steadily glows again. “I promise you’ll never be unsafe like that again. No one will ever touch you without permission.”

“Well, just so you know, you … you always have permission.”

He chuckles. “Yep, so adorable when you blush.” Then he leans down and kisses me again.

And I kiss him back, wishing we could stay this way forever, wrapped in magical kisses and calming peace. But, eventually, the clock chimes, announcing it’s time for me to go train with Rune. Reminding me that the safety Jules instills in me only exists when we’re together. That safety could get ripped away at any moment. And I need to be prepared.