As they ascended the hill, Harper braced herself for what was bound to be an awkward encounter. She tried edging away from Shan, but his arm was a steel bar keeping her welded to his side.

She recognized all of the shifters that awaited them at the summit. There was West, Viper, Cade, and Yorick. Yorick was one of Gareth's betas and had been there when Harruth had attacked her, and the sight of him made Harper bristle. As usual, nothing escaped Shan's notice.

“He doesn't have to come,” Shan said.

He'd made no effort to lower his voice, and it took a second for Harper to realize what he was saying. If she asked him to, Shan would dismiss Yorick from the group.

Harper might have asked him to do just that, except that it seemed childish to have him removed from his post simply because she didn't like him. Moreover, it had been Harruth who'd attacked her. Yorick had been a major asshole, but he had been the one to order Harruth off of her.

“He can stay,” she said. At least it wasn't Gareth coming. She didn't think she could take another minute with that douchebag, not without breaking his other arm, anyway.

Shan nodded approvingly, and Harper got the impression that she'd passed some sort of test.

“Good evening,” Shan said, greeting them coolly as he and Harper reached the summit. “I trust you're all ready to leave?”

Harper noted that Cade, Viper, and Yorick were all wearing furs, but West was fully dressed. She deduced that he wasn't prepared to shift because he wouldn't be coming with them, and his next words confirmed it.

“I'll rouse the camps as soon as you depart. Will you be needing me to take Harper down the mountain?”

“She'll be staying with me.”

There was a blatant implication in Shan's words, and Harper was surprised to find that she wasn't very much bothered by it. She also kind of liked having Shan's arm around her.

Addressing Viper, Shan said, “West told me that you made contact with the pack?”

Cade responded first. “Viper and I got pretty deep into their territory yesterday. We ran into one of their betas, a female named Lotus.”

Lotus...

The name touched a nerve, but Harper dismissed her uneasiness. Floral names were common among shifters, and the odds that it was her Lotus were slim.

Viper said, “She was understandably hesitant, but she warmed up to us quite quickly when we mentioned your name.”

Between her strange accent and the slurring, purring way she spoke, Viper reminded Harper of a mobster.

“She said her pack name is Lazarus,” Viper said, drawling each syllable in the pack's name. She began poking Cade's side. “One hundred percent, no doubt about it. Which means, I am owed half your sugar rations this winter.”

“A quarter,” Cade shot back.

Shan tilted his head towards Harper and explained, “The reports on the pack's name were conflicting. We've heard everything from Azure to La Zuer.”

“This stupid motherfucker bet that their pack name is Lasers. Like a fucking laser beam,” Viper said.

Harper choked back a laugh as Cade began to sputter.

“There have been dumber pack names,” he said defensively. “You remember Cobhusk?”

Viper shrugged. “At least that made sense. They liked their corn. But you show me a pack that has laser beams and you can have all my sugar for the year.”

“Do you have the name of their alpha?” Shan asked, his question cutting through the chatter.

Viper's back straightened. “Pretty beta lady said his name is Asch. He'll be meeting you about forty klicks down the river, so we gotta hustle if we're gonna get there by sunrise.”

Harper held up a hand. “Wait, we have to walk forty kilometers by sunrise? What time is it?”

She'd thought it was early morning, but she couldn't understand why she still felt so exhausted.

“We'll run most of the way, and we'll be there early,” Shan assured her. “You three go on ahead. We'll catch up.”

As the others cleared out, Harper's eyes fell on Shan's neck. Perhaps by design, his pelt was adjusted so that her bite mark was visible. Now that the haze of passion was behind her, the sight of it made her feel uneasy, and something else.

Impatient...

But for what?

“You can handle this?”

Shan's question jarred her, and she almost answered until she realized he was talking to West.

“I'll be fine,” West said.

“Gareth will try to overrule you. Don't let him. You have my confidence.”

They exchanged a few more words. West promised to inform Jo and Ian where Harper was going, and that she'd return soon. After giving Shan a curt bow, West took his leave.

“So is West like, interim alpha while you’re gone? Isn't your territory only a few days north from here?”

He was stroking the back of her neck again. It was starting to seem as if he couldn't go more than a few minutes without petting her. She hated how much she liked it.

“Plenty can happen in a few days.”

You're telling me.

“Your pack seems so orderly, though.”

“The dynamic of my pack is more precarious than it might seem. When I'm not around to keep things in order, it creates something of a power vacuum. That's why I bring my three most dominant betas—Gareth, West, and Eko—on the circuit each year. I don't trust them not to fuck things up while I'm gone.”

“And the circuits are to make sure your allied territories are in order? Isn't that inefficient? A pack having their alpha gone for part of the year?”

He rolled his shoulders. “It works better than anything I've tried yet. Right now, it's the only way to maintain stability throughout the region, though we are working on getting communication systems in place. I imagine that once I take a mate, I'll have more incentive to consider alternatives.”

It wasn't lost on her that he'd said “a mate” and not her. Logically, she knew that he was just trying to keep her on her toes, but his words had an unexpected effect on her. Her eyes moved back to the mark on his neck and she felt it again. A sense of impatience, but it didn't feel entirely her own. It was as if a starting gun had fired and part of her wanted to rush ahead at full speed while the other part of her was looking around and wondering where the race was and how she'd entered it.

“Are you all right?”

Her attention snapped back to reality and she realized that her pulse had accelerated. She was suddenly on the verge of panic, but she had no idea why.

“I… I guess I'm just nervous about the trip.”

She had no idea why she was actually distressed, so she doubted Shan would see through the weak excuse.

“You'll be safe. I promise.”

She glanced up at him and wished she hadn't. He looked so concerned for her.

“How do you know this dude isn't going to show up with his whole pack and ambush us?”

“It's very likely he will. That's why I only bring a few wolves I know that I can rely on to fall back and get out of my way. If it seems at any point that there will be danger, Viper and the others will take you away while I deal with them.”

Her nose scrunched. “How many wolves do you think you can take on at once? And what if they put up traps?”

“Are you worried for me?” he asked in a teasing voice.

“Yes.” She stretched her arms out, and then looped them around his neck. “If you go and get yourself killed, your whole pack is going to implode and there goes my research opportunity.”

“Ah, yes. Your research. You keep saying something about that, but I've yet to see you do anything scholarly.”

Shan enfolded her in his pelt as he kissed her. Chest to chest as they were, Harper had to stand on the very tips of her toes and pull herself up by his shoulders to keep her lips locked with his. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she stopped giving a damn about anything that wasn't him. She hoped that he was similarly impaired and would take her back to his den for another round of lovemaking, followed by nap time.

When he pulled back, Shan was eyeing her strangely, as if he didn't quite recognize her.

“You smell different.”

Frowning, she turned her chin down and gave herself a sniff. “Yup. I smell like old sweat and probably a few other things I'd rather not mention.”

“Not like that,” he said, lowering his nose to her hair. “It must be my scent rubbing off on you.”

She gave him a weak smile. “Ya think?”

Seemingly placated, Shan said, “I'm going to shift now. I'll probably sniff you again. It might be thorough. Try not to take offense.”

“Probably? As in, you don't know what you're going to do?”

He looked away from her. “Shifting is like riding a horse. I can command the wolf, but he still has a mind of his own.” Before she could ask anything further, he said, “I'll tell you more later, when we have the time.”

Harper stepped back about twenty paces, giving Shan ample room to complete his shift. He ended up needing every inch of space.

Watching a regular shifter change forms was like watching an acrobat complete an impressive feat. It seemed extraordinary, but also natural. Watching Shan shift was like witnessing magic. In the blink of an eye, his pelt appeared to meld to his form, and then it swallowed him up. In the next blink, he was amorphous, and then, expanding.

Maybe it was magic.

It was astounding that any land animal could be as large as he was, but even more so that he could start as a human and take his wolf form in under a minute.

He gave her a thorough sniffing, just as Shan said he would. She didn't take offense, mostly because she was glad for any excuse to have him so close. His snout was long enough that she could have lain across it, resting her back in the concave space between his eyes.

“Shan?” she asked, placing her hand on his snout.

He made a grumbling sound.

Harper cocked her head, and then stepped to the side to look into one of his eyes. “I see. You must be his horse, then? You poor thing. I can't imagine having his voice in my head all of the time. It must be awful.”

There was another grumble and Harper laughed.

“Can he hear me in there?”

The wolf didn't respond, he only stared at her.

Harper walked along the side of his face, running her hand along his soft fur. She wondered if his fur still smelled like her, even in this form.

“I guess we should get going. Mind if I hop on?”

The wolf nudged his snout against her. She'd been planning on climbing up his mane, but since he'd extended the invitation, she climbed up onto his snout. He closed his eyes as she scaled his head, and then slid down the back of his neck. She came to rest in the hollow between his shoulders. Seeing as how he was much too big for her to straddle him, she decided that was as good a place as any for her to sit.

“All set,” she said, patting his back.

He turned his massive head around, checked to make sure she was secure, and then licked her. The force from his tongue nearly knocked her off his back and she had to grip his fur to keep from falling.

She relaxed as he began to trot, until she realized that he was going in the wrong direction, down the hill and back towards the den.

“Aren't the others waiting for us?”

Of course, he couldn't reply. He continued heading down the mountain, but came to an abrupt stop not far from the den. He shook his head, as if trying to fling off a monkey, and then reared back and growled. For a moment, he was still, and he nearly scared her out of her bones when he issued two sharp barks. Finally, he turned, letting out a low and persistent growl as he trudged back up the hill.

They caught up to the others quickly and Shan had to slow to a canter so that they could keep pace running. He seemed none too pleased to see his pack mates, and when Cade came too near to him, Shan promptly warded him off with a snap of his teeth. For the rest of the trip, everyone kept their distance.

The journey was uncomfortable for Harper. It wasn't the ride itself, but the cold. She hadn't brought a pelt to cover herself and at the fast pace of travel, the frigid air stung at any exposed part of her. The best she could do was bury herself in Shan's mane, but that left her unable to see when she had to dodge oncoming branches, which was quite often. With his size, there was only so much Shan could do to keep his body out of the canopy.

It was just before dawn when they began to slow. Harper looked both ways, taking in their surroundings. They had traveled far enough that the leaves were still green in the area, and she could hear the hum of frogs coming from the west, indicating that there was water nearby.

When Shan came to a stop, the others stopped, too. He barked at them, and without hesitation they resumed walking ahead at a brisk pace.

Nose to the ground, Shan diverged from the path and headed towards a thicket. He raked his claws against a few patches of soil, found a spot he liked, and then started to dig. The movement jostled her, and she had to climb farther back along his spine. He excavated the dirt so quickly that Harper was still wondering what he was doing when he turned around and plucked her from his back.

“Whoa!” He began to lower her into the hole. “I'm not a bone! Put me down! No, not in the hole!”

After depositing her into the hole, Shan let out a bark. The sound made her stagger back, but just like before, he didn't seem to be barking at her. He shook his head vigorously, and then vanished from her view.

“Shan? Wolf? Hey!” she shouted. “I did not agree to this. Get back here and...” she trailed off, shaking her head. “Fuck it, it's just a hole.”

After determining that it was too deep to pull herself out of, Harper began to gather dirt from one side of the hole to pile on the other, building a makeshift stepping stool. Before she could put her plan to the test, Shan reappeared in his human form, breathing heavily.

“Are you all right?” he asked, crouching down to lend her a hand.

She took it and allowed him to pull her up.

“I could ask you the same thing. What the hell was that?” she said, brushing the dirt from her pants.

Shan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. She noticed that for the second time, he was looking away from her.

“It's complicated,” he said.

“Complicated? You just tried to bury me alive.”

“I wasn't trying to bury you,” he said, his brows furrowing. “I had reservations about bringing you into the territory of another pack. In my wolf form, my reservations manifested themselves strangely.”

Harper was grinning from ear to ear. “Ah hah! So you admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“You're not in control of him.”

Shan rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Like I said, it's complicated.”

“I knew it!” Harper said, pumping her fist into the air. “That's why you don't shift as much as the others. Because you never know what your wolf side is going to do.”

“I don't shift as much as the others because my shifting expends vast amounts of energy.”

Harper rubbed her shoulder against him. “Right, right. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

“There is no secret for you to keep,” he said sternly. “Yes, there is a certain...duality in my nature. But we're not separate. Not entirely. It's more like he's me, but without all of my higher reasoning.

“For example, I didn't want to bring you here. The truth is, it could be very dangerous. But I also didn't want to leave you. When I shifted, the only rational option was to take you back to my territory and remain there with you. In that form, the minutiae of pack politics don't matter to me. All I cared about was presiding over the female I intend to take as my mate.”

As he spoke, he pulled her into his arms and ran his hand up her back. She leaned into him, craving his touch perhaps as much as he craved touching her.

“Why the hole?” she asked, resting her head on his chest.

“It wasn't to bury you. Though, I was planning on uprooting a tree and using it to cover you.”

She smiled against his skin. “You were trying to hide me.”

“More or less, yes.”

She tilted her head so that she was looking up at him. “Can he see me now? Your wolf?”

“Have you been listening to a word I said? He is me.”

“Sure,” she said, waving a hand.

She lifted herself up on the tips of her toes, intent on kissing him, but Shan only rested his forehead against hers.

“Not now,” he said. “And when we meet with this pack, I am going to introduce you as my mate.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Well then, if you don't execute this alpha, I sure will. Can't have that getting around.”

“Are you trying to be insufferable, or does it just come naturally to you?”

He was smiling, but Harper got the sense that he was only half joking. She had no good answer, so she was glad when he said, “Let's meet up with the others and get this over with.”

The sun had just begun to rise when they joined the rest of the group. They had stopped in between a cluster of tall, moss-covered cedar trees. All of them in their human forms, Viper and Cade sat near to each other on a large, protruding root while Yorick stood apart from them, his amber eyes scanning the area.

While Shan exchanged words with Cade, Harper joined Yorick in looking around. The area was beautiful in the morning. Sunlight penetrated the canopy in distinct rays, illuminating the bright green moss that blanketed everything from the tops of the trees to the forest floor. The trees were spaced far enough apart that she could see at least a hundred yards out, and she tried to judge if it would give her enough warning to prepare herself for an attack.

Shan pressed a kiss to the top of her head. In his usual way of reading her mind, he said, “You'll be fine. We'll know they're coming long before we see them.”

Harper opened her mouth to brush him off, but decided against it. He was right in thinking that she was concerned, and she could tell that he was growing impatient with her stubborn attitude.

When Shan and Cade left to scout the area, Harper took a seat beside Viper. What she really wanted to do was climb a tree and look around, but if they were attacked it was better she was on the ground where she had more freedom of movement.

Viper offered her water and some sort of biscuit made of crushed walnuts and berries. It was bland, but a welcome addition to her empty stomach. The one area Shan tended to drop the ball in was keeping Harper fed. Like most shifters, he tended to forget that humans needed to eat more frequently than them. Harper, in particular, had a legendary appetite and it wasn't unusual for her to eat four to five large meals each day.

“How long are we going to wait for them?” Harper asked, mostly just to make conversation.

Yorick answered her. “They said they'd meet us in the morning. We have to give them at least until noon to get their asses down here.”

Viper said, “My guess is, they're still in their den right now, planning out how to kill us. If they're not here by noon, they're waiting for our backs to turn, and then they'll strike.”

She chomped at the air in front of Harper, but didn't seem surprised when Harper didn't flinch.

“You don't scare easy,” Viper said. “That's good. You know, from the moment I saw you fighting Gareth and I heard his arm snap I said to myself, that little girl, she'll make a good mate for Shan.”

“I'm not a little girl,” Harper said offhandedly as she busied herself with removing foliage from her hair. “And if you really thought I was going to become your alpha's mate, then why start our relationship off by gagging me and stealing my things? Speaking of which, giving me my pot back would be a great gesture of goodwill. Might make me more amiable towards you once I'm your overlord.”

She was making light of the situation, but she really did want her pot back. Her nightmare had returned that night, though Shan had woken her before it had gotten truly terrifying. All morning, it had been in the back of her mind that she needed to get her stash back. There was also that tea Shan had given her, but she didn't know if it had actually helped or if it had just been a fluke, and the side effect of her being pretty much incapacitated wasn't ideal.

“Maybe you're not little, but you are a girl,” Viper said. “What are you, twenty? Twenty-one?”

“Twenty-six.”

“Oh, my apologies,” Viper said with mock deference. “Well, Miss Twenty-six, I can tell you've seen some bad things. You think it makes you all grown up. It doesn't. If that were the way of the world, we'd throw all our pups into the snake pits and let them fight their way to manhood.”

“Sure,” Harper said, very much wanting to be done with the conversation.

“Maybe you're not little,” Viper said again. “But you are a girl. Don't worry. Shan will make a proper woman out of you. And don't ask for your drugs again. It's not good for your baby.”

Harper went from mildly annoyed to on the edge panic in an instant.

“I'm not pregnant,” she said, practically shouting the statement. “Am I?”

She remembered Shan telling her that she smelled strange, but it couldn't be that. It hadn't even been a full day since they'd slept together.

“Stupid,” Viper said, smacking the back of Harper's head. “Not right now, at least, I don't think. But soon enough, and you can't be polluting your body with that shit when there's a little baby inside of you.”

Harper sagged with relief. “Thanks so much. I'll keep that in mind.”

Viper let out a whistle.

“I told you his mate would be a real bitch,” she said to Yorick. “What did we bet?”

“I don't remember taking that bet,” Yorick said.

“That's because it was half your lifetime ago. That's how long we've been waiting for Shan to take a mate.”

Viper went on to tell Harper about how whenever a new human joined the pack, they would take bets on whose mate she would become. Apparently, there was a lot of salt and sugar—the primary bartering currencies—on Jo and West becoming mates, but none of the wolves, save for Viper, had bet on Harper and Shan becoming mates.

“For you, everyone said Cade,” Viper told her. “He's young, strong, easy on the eyes, up and coming, you know? But I looked at you and I could see you have issues with your father. You don't want a boy, you want a man.”

“What? I don't have issues with my father.”

Viper ignored her. “Then, I see Shan and the way he looked at you. That first night, it was like a scene from a movie. You showed up and it was like he couldn't see anything else but you. I saw it. We all saw it. But every one of them assholes still bet for Cade because Shan never takes a mate. It's not logical, but they're stupid dogs. Would they bet a man will live forever just because he's never died? I dunno, maybe.”

She put her arm around Harper's shoulders and leaned in close enough that her breath stuck to Harper's face as she spoke. “The day of your mating ceremony, I am going to be the richest bitch in The Steppes. It will be the happiest day of both our lives, so don't you fuck this up for us.”

Harper didn't have the heart to tell Viper that in spite of appearances to the contrary, she wasn't going to become Shan's mate. She was glad she didn't say as much, because Shan and Cade returned moments later and the situation could have been awkward for everyone.

“Any sign of them?” Yorick asked.

Shan said, “We found some old boundary markers. Nothing fresh. They haven't been through here recently. You're certain this is the right place?”

“It's close enough,” Viper said. “They'll find us, if they're looking.”

“Then we'll wait.”

Shan sat beside Harper and draped one half of his pelt over her shoulders. She was glad for the warmth, and she didn't resist when he pulled her into his lap. Everyone present could smell that they'd slept together, so there was no point in keeping up appearances to the contrary.

They passed the morning in idle conversation. Shan and Yorick were mostly silent, their attention cast out on the forest around them. It was mostly Viper and Cade bantering, with occasional input from Harper.

Everyone seemed comfortable, but as the sun neared its zenith, they began to grow restless.

When there was a lull in the conversation, Yorick said, “We should press in farther and approach their den. If we left now, we could be there by nightfall.”

“I'm with him,” Viper said, nodding at Yorick. “I'm tired of dealing with this slippery laser pack. Snow is starting early this year. If we leave now, there goes another season they stay down here fucking things up. How many times are we gonna redraw the map?”

Shan lifted his chin from its perch on Harper's head. “We're not storming his den. That is the one place we wouldn't have the advantage.”

“We could go halfway,” Cade suggested. “Press in a few more miles and try to draw them out.”

Shan didn't respond. He rested his chin back on Harper’s head, making it so that she couldn't look up and see his expression. Whatever they saw on his face, his pack mates seemed to understand that the discussion was closed.

Harper wondered if, had she not been there, Shan would have been more inclined to pursue the pack.

Probably. What a fucking mess this is.

Harper leaned back, letting her body go lax against him. She couldn't tell him that he should go in spite of her. That would fall into the category of undermining him in front of his pack, one of his requirements for their courtship. She hadn't asked for him to court her, but she'd allowed him to escalate it at every turn, so the least she could do was play by his rules.

Her eyelids had been feeling heavier by the hour. Once it had become apparent that no one was showing up, her anxiety had given way to boredom and her sleep deprivation soon caught up to her.

As quiet finally fell over the group, her eyes closed. She tuned in to the rhythm of Shan's breathing and the feel of his thumb drawing lazy circles on her thigh. Her head began to loll to the side. She caught herself twice, but on the third time, she slipped fully into sleep.