The next day, I packed my pills to take to work. I hated to do it, but Jace had been right. What was the point in not taking them to keep a clear head if I was in too much pain to think straight? I made sure I had my lunch and left in plenty of time.

I’d barely been there five minutes when Jace walked in.

“Hey,” he said.

I didn’t look away from my paperwork.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night,” he went on.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not in any pain today?”

“I’m said I’m fine, okay?” I snapped. “You don’t have to stop in here to check on me.”

“Um, okay?” He gave me a hurt and confused look. “What’s with the harshness?”

“I’m not being harsh, I’m just busy. Everyone’s constantly asking me how I am. I’m fine,” I seethed. “I don’t know why people can’t accept that.”

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to show my concern and see if you needed anything. That’s all.”

I harrumphed. How nice of him to be concerned with me now, after he used me to cheat on his girlfriend, or whatever she was. That must’ve been why he snuck out in the middle of the night. He either felt so guilty he had to leave, or he went to meet her. The thought of him having sex with her right after sleeping with me turned my stomach.

“Did Cooper talk to you last night?”

“Obviously. He is my brother.”

“I mean, did he tell you anything?”

I shot a glare his way. “Of course he did.”

Jace let out a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s not right. He shouldn’t have told you. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you. I’ve been wanting to tell you, I just…”

I crossed my arms and waited. “You couldn’t manage to blurt out that you’re in love at some point during our night together?”

“I almost did! I took you outside to the garden, and that’s where I was going to tell you.”

I made a disgusted face. “You have one warped sense of consideration.” He really thought taking me out there—which I had believed to be a romantic gesture in the moment—then telling me about his girlfriend, was the best way to do things? And then what? It was too hard to tell me, so he just kissed me instead? And then slept with me?

He hung his head and refused to look at me. “Well, I’m sorry. I’ve messed everything up now.”

“Pretty much. But I’m sure it’ll be fine, eventually.”

He laughed. “There are some things people just don’t get over, Bug.”

The nickname tore a small hole through my heart. How dare he call me that now, when everything between us was in shambles? Involuntarily, my mind went to the memory, Cooper and Jace and I playing in the dirt. Jace holding up a worm and teasing me with it. Cooper squishing a bug and then insisting on calling me Bug, then saying he was going to squish me like a bug. Jace had covered for him that time, taking Cooper’s side and telling Mom that they called me Bug as a nickname, not an insult. She bought it. Somehow. But they were left calling me Bug in an affectionate way to keep their lie. Cooper had dropped it many years ago, but Jace still brought it out now and then.

“I thought you would be happy. I wouldn’t have told Cooper if I knew you were going to react like this.” He walked toward the door.

I pressed my lips together. I could hardly look at him without feeling disgusted.

“So, you wouldn’t have told me at all?” I demanded. “Just leave me in the dark forever? How could you possibly think I’d be happy about this? This whole situation with you and me? It’s ruined everything.” Then, I went ahead and said it even though I knew I shouldn’t have. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

“Fine then.”

The door slammed and he was gone.

My tears were right there, waiting to comfort me the moment he left. I fought them for a while, but eventually had to give in.

I would have never in a million years asked Cooper to move his honeymoon back. He’d offered to, assuring me that the cruise ran back-to-back for months and it was no big deal to move it to another week. But he needed to go, for him and his new bride. Kodi was staying with our parents, and they were having a blast. I’d already gotten four pictures sent to my phone and the kid had only been awake for an hour. Yet, as much as I knew Cooper had to go and I wanted him to go, I wished he had stayed home that week.

When Cooper left that morning, I wanted to go with him. Obviously, I couldn’t have. He and Alexis had headed out to the port, our mom had headed into Grandma Land, and I headed to work. But what if I did need Cooper that week? I couldn’t call Jace. My mom would be busy and it would be difficult for her to get out of the house. Of course, I had Gabby, but I still felt abandoned somehow. Maybe it was because both men were such an integral part of my world, that anytime they were missing, it felt off.

But more than that, this thing with Jace was killing me. I tried not to think about it. The physical pain helped distract me, but I’d rather not have needed to rely on pain for that. I wished I was only heartbroken. I wished I’d found out Jace was in love with someone and that had been it. That would have been easier to take than the truth that he slept with me while in love with someone else.

When I’d cried all the tears I’d needed to, I got back to my work, determined to make it through at least one day well. So far, the physical pain was manageable, and the pills weren’t making it too difficult to work.

The emotional pain, however, suffocated me.