All I could think was that I couldn’t die without having told her. Todd was a friend and we knew the driver, but I didn’t want to tell her in the ambulance with the crew around us. It was, most definitely, a private conversation that needed to happen.

She squeezed my hand and smiled at me. There was so much pain, but when I looked at her, it seemed to fade. We’d been through so much together. Yes, that night had been crazy. We’d had a lot of crazy times together doing our work. We’d had fifteen years together with Cooper to get ourselves into—and back out of—trouble. We’d been there for each other so many times. How could she not have loved me back, at least a little? At least as a friend? Or, at the very least, not be so offended by the fact that I loved her?

The physical pain was unbearable, but the emotional pain rose up my chest and triggered my tears. I guessed no one could make fun of me for welling up after getting shot. But I never had to worry about that with Kylie in the first place. She’d never think I was a pussy for crying. She’d probably see it as a sign of deep sensitivity, or at least, I’d hoped.

I squeezed her hand back and she smiled again. I closed my eyes; I couldn’t stand to see her smile. It lit my heart with longing every time she did.

“What is it?” she asked.

With my eyes still closed, it was easier to pretend we were alone. I swallowed, I parted my lips, took in a breath and opened my eyes. “Kylie, I have to say it to you at least once. Who knows what might go wrong when we get to the hospital. You know that weird things happen. If I die or something happens to me, I just want to know that you heard it directly from my lips.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Okay… Are you feeling delusional?”

“No. Kylie, I love you.”

She laughed. “You are delusional. Or hallucinating. We’re almost there and they’ll get you all taken care of. You’ll get something for the pain real soon.”

“Kylie.” I squeezed her hand hard and held her gaze. “I. Love. You.”

I closed my eyes again. I didn’t want to see her expression.

“No, you don’t,” she replied softly.

My eyes flew back open. “Yes, I do.”

“You love someone else, or did you forget that? I don’t even know her name, and I’m sorry she’s not here. If you tell me who she is or give me her number, I’ll call and get her here.”

My head spun in confusion. “Wait. What? Who are you talking about?”

“The woman you’re in love with.”

I shook my head. “What woman? I love you.”

I tried to figure out what she was talking about—or, better yet, who she was talking about—but I couldn’t concentrate with the pain. A vicious migraine had just begun to wrap itself around my skull, constricting my brain, along with my thoughts. I closed my eyes again because the agony was too much. Even the lights hurt my eyes and I grew nauseous.

I heard them radio in that we were only two minutes out. Okay. Two minutes. I just have to hold on for two more minutes.

The two minutes felt like twenty, but finally, the ambulance stopped. The doors opened and Kylie hopped out, then I was jarringly wheeled to the ER.

The rush started. It was bizarre to be at the center of it, for once. At that point in my job, I would be giving a report to whomever was taking over the patient’s care on the nursing staff. I did hear Todd in the distance saying something. My ears picked out a few words here and there. “GSW… clean… stable.” All good things. Well, the gun shot wound wasn’t a good thing, but it being clean and me being stable were.

I heard a nurse say something about an IV and felt the pinch. Where was Kylie? As the thought crossed my mind, she appeared at my side and took my hand again.

A nurse came into my line of sight. “I’m going to sedate you now,” she told me. “You’ll be rushed into emergency surgery in a few minutes. Can you please start counting backwards from ten?”

“I’ll be here,” Kylie whispered. “I’ll be waiting for you when you wake up.”

I wanted to tell her again that I loved her before I started counting, but the medication worked too fast. I opened my mouth, but only a syllable of a word came out before my jaw went slack and the room went dark.

True to her word, Kylie was there when I opened my eyes. Luckily for me, the pain wasn’t, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hey there,” she said.

“Hey.”

No one else was in the room. Then I remembered that Cooper wasn’t speaking to me. My parents had been away, and I didn’t know about the rest of the clan. Maybe they’d taken Cooper’s side in our feud.

“Everyone’s asleep in the waiting area,” she continued. “I insisted on sleeping in here, though.”

“I made it,” I said.

“Of course you did. It really was the best sort of GSW you could have had. If it were a little lower in your leg, that would mean less PT, but the doctors expect you to fully recover; they assured me of that. There was some muscle damage, but it’s not too bad. They mainly just cleaned the wound and stitched you up. The surgery only took about an hour.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. I guess I’d overreacted earlier, but it felt like I was going to die. That would help me in the future when caring for someone, to remember that even if I know it’s not bad, it seems much worse to the person experiencing the situation.

“We just got an update on the perpetrators, too. Turns out that those backwoods freaks have been on the FBI’s most wanted list for years. They were Jarvis and Morton Bonner, brothers who’ve been on the run for years with all sorts of unthinkable charges against them.”

“Ugh. Well, that’s two less scumbags the world needs to worry about.”

She nodded. “Definitely. So, how are you feeling?”

“Okay, I think. I feel the pain meds working.”

“Good. Do you feel clear headed?”

“Mostly.”

“Good, because I need to talk to you. Are you up for that? This is kind of important and I’ve been waiting for you to get out of surgery before I could talk to you.”

I gave her a wary look. What in the world did she mean? “Yeah, okay. I’m not going anywhere any time soon, so do your worst.”

She gave me an incredulous look. “My worst? Jace, in the ambulance, you said you loved me.”

“I know. I said it twice, actually.”

“Why?” Her voice was so disbelieving, I couldn’t understand it.

“Why did I say it?”

“Why did you say it? Why… why?”

“I said it because it’s true and I wanted to make sure that you heard it from me in case something happened to me. I wanted to say it directly to you at least once.”

She shook her head. “Jace. This isn’t making any sense. Who did you tell Cooper you were in love with?”

“You?” I didn’t mean for it to be a question, but I was confused.

“Cooper said…” She blinked at me, her mouth dropping open. “Cooper said that you were in love and that sleeping with me had been a mistake. He even said you cheated or something. Didn’t he?” She twisted her face in thought.

“I haven’t dated anyone since Marissa and that was more than six months ago. I’ve never loved anyone.”

“But…”

“I did say sleeping with you was a mistake. But only because I hadn’t yet told you I loved you and because we weren’t committed to each other. I mean, we went from being lifelong friends to suddenly sleeping together, and that feels like a mistake to me. I wanted to do it right and talk to our families and clan before we got into a serious relationship. I feel awful for sneaking out on you that morning. That was a huge mistake.”

“Oh.” She stared hard at a spot on the wall. Her face wrinkled in on itself.

“Um?”

She held up a finger. “So, are you saying that you love me? Me? Not someone else?”

“I’ve never come close to loving anyone but you.”

She met my gaze and leaned in with an intense tone. “So, there’s no one else? No other woman?”

I shook my head slowly many times, feeling a little dizzy from the morphine.

“You didn’t cheat on anyone when we slept together?”

“No. I don’t usually date anyone long enough to cheat. I’ve never cheated.”

She put her hand to her forehead. “I’m going to kill Cooper.”

That was the last thing I expected her to say. “Why?”

“He created a huge mess for no reason.”

“Kylie, what the hell have you been talking about? I’m totally lost.”

“Cooper told me that you were in love. Only he made it sound like you were in love with another woman and that sleeping with me had been a huge mistake and you cheated on her with me. What an idiot!”

Finally, the pieces started to fall into place. Anger flared hot in my chest. “You’ll have to get to Cooper before I do then.” I gritted my jaw. “He probably said it like that to mislead you on purpose.”

“Why would he?”

“He’s pissed at me. All night at their wedding, I wanted to tell you I love you. I almost did, but I kissed you instead. I didn’t know how to say it. I was afraid it would mess everything up and I’d lose you. Our night was incredible; I loved every moment. But I freaked and snuck out. Then I got to thinking that Cooper would kill me. I had to tell him—well, the love part, not the sleeping together part. That, he kind of demanded out of me.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “So, I told him I was in love with you. I wanted to make sure he’d be okay with it, but he was definitely not. He raged out, fully convinced that I was going to break your heart and play you. So, he told me he didn’t want us to be together. And then you started acting coldly toward me, saying Cooper had told you. I assumed he told you that I love you, and that either you agreed with him and were afraid I’d hurt you, or you didn’t feel the same and were somehow offended by the fact that I love you. I couldn’t understand why.”

She groaned. “I was pissed that you used me to cheat on this other woman you loved!” She slapped her palm to her forehead. “I’ve spent all this time being angry and jealous over myself. How stupid.”

I caught one word that made my heart skip. “Jealous?”

She held my gaze and pulled her lower lip into her mouth. “Jace, I have been in love with you for the last fifteen years.”