I meant to stay awake. How could I not? Everyone told me I could trust Payne, and I wanted to. Everything just felt so new, so unsettled. And, he almost got me killed or recaptured. Given a choice, I knew in my heart I would have wanted the former.

I sat with my knees drawn up in the center of the tent. An owl hooted overhead and a chorus of spring peepers bleated all around. I could see Payne’s shadow against the thin fabric of the tent. He’d taken a position near the riverbank with the moon at his back. He didn’t pace; he didn’t stalk. He didn’t need to. If anything dangerous got within a few hundred yards of us, he’d be able to sense it in a heartbeat. Instead, he sat facing the tent scanning the tree line. I crawled forward and lay on my belly. From there, I could watch him through a tiny flap in the tent.

He was huge. Of course, I knew this. But, I’d never actually looked at him like this. In a weird way, it felt like stealing. I could study him without fear of him realizing it. He rose and stood with his feet planted firmly apart, his hands on his hips. To a casual observer, you could almost mistake him for a statue. There was nothing casual about my observation, though.

Payne had legs thick as tree trunks. His weathered jeans strained tightly against his muscled thighs. On the left leg, the fabric had worn through just above the knee, revealing a hint of his toned quad beneath. He stood barefoot, digging his long toes into the soft earth. I knew why he did it. Mac often did the same thing. He could feel tiny vibrations on the ground, imperceptible to me. If something moved around him, he’d know it.

Payne reached his right arm over his left shoulder and scratched his back. He turned slightly, stretching, flexing his hips. I wondered if the urge to shift rolled through him. With the moon behind him reflected in the water, I would bet on it. Payne seemed unsettled. He ran his hands through his hair. He wore it longer than Mac or the other shifters did. The ends scraped the top of his shoulders in shimmering red-gold waves. Light curls in the same shade covered his forearms, though his chest was bare except for his striking tattoo. A giant black wolf’s head with unfurled wings behind it and crossed swords below. It symbolized their flight, rebellion, and oath to each other.

All of the shifters of Mammoth Forest had them. Tears sprang instantly to my eyes the first time I’d seen Mac’s. The ink marked their commitment to each other and was an open declaration of war to the Alpha. Mac’s friend Gunnar had been captured and tortured for months because of it. It’s a wonder he made it out alive.

Payne turned again, fixing his hard stare at the tent. I didn’t think he could see me, but tingling heat ran down my spine as his eyes went from their normal green to that almost neon shade as his wolf bubbled to the surface. My breath caught as he turned toward the water. Sliding his hands under his waistband, he pulled his jeans down.

I gasped and covered my mouth as Payne stood naked before me. He was beautiful. He seemed carved in one solid, perfect piece of marble from his strong, broad back, to his tapered hips and chiseled buttocks. He bent at the knee then squatted low. The air went out of me in a whoosh as I felt the flow of his magic.

Payne shifted.

It was seamless. Stunning. Perfect. I’d never seen his wolf before. He was huge with red fur and shimmering gold highlights across his shoulders and the end of his tail. He pawed the ground and loped along the riverbank. I could feel his need to bay at the moon, but he kept silent. It was too dangerous.

I wanted to go to him. The urge to run my hands along his powerful back and sink my fingers into his soft fur compelled me. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. Instead, I was frozen, transfixed by him. Payne Fallon was quite possibly the largest, most stunning wolf I’d ever seen.

Then, those familiar tendrils of icy panic wound their way through my heart. He wasn’t Pack. In my head, I knew this. And yet, those old wounds flared inside of me. Payne was a wolf. He was dangerous. I had to keep my distance.

The wind changed and Payne caught the scent of something. He chuffed and pawed the ground again. He put his body between the tent and the woods. Whatever it was, he clearly didn’t sense danger, but wanted to be ready. If it was possible to feel both fear and calm at the same time, I did. It was as if two parts of myself warred with each other. There was the woman I was before Birch Haven...a shifter’s sister...and the one I was now.

I brought my hand to the back of my neck and traced the jagged outline of the scar I bore there. The scar I would have to live with for the rest of my life. It was cold now, dormant. The shifter who’d forced it on me was dead. I squeezed my eyes shut against the memory. As if conjuring it would somehow bring that link to him back to life and somehow him as well.

I wanted to hate him. I did. Truly. But, he was also part of me in ways I still hadn’t allowed myself to accept.

Another chuff from Payne snapped me away from the past. He’d come closer. Still in his wolf, he sat a few yards from the tent watching the woods. No living thing would dare to venture close to him. They knew what he was without even seeing him. Formidable. Graceful. Deadly. An Alpha. A shiver ran through me as that yearning to thread my fingers through his soft fur came back. I pushed past it just like I had the memories of my marking.

Payne’s green eyes flashed as he looked straight at me through the flap in the tent. Pink bands lined the horizon. We’d gone a full night together, separated, but awake together. I knew I should be exhausted, but I wasn’t. I was too keyed up from the day before and whatever lay ahead.

Payne rose. Tail high, he went back to the water’s edge where he’d shed his jeans. The hair on the back of my neck rose as the air crackled with the energy of his shift. He was human again. The muscles of his back rippled as he leaned down and pulled on his pants. I pulled on my hiking boots and unzipped the tent flap to join him. We’d need an early start if we wanted to make good time today. From here on out, we’d be on foot.

“You should have slept,” Payne said as I came to his side. It was in me to argue with him. How did he know whether I slept or not? The answer churned through me, stirring up an unfamiliar heat.

“So should you,” I said.

Payne turned to me. He arched one ruddy brow and a hint of a smile played at the corner of his full mouth. I wanted to trust him. I did. And yet, old ghosts held me back.

“I’ll rest a little when we get some miles under our belt. That was too close a call back in Shadow Springs.”

My heart lurched. “You don’t sense anyone following us?”

He pursed his lips and shook his head no. “Not for now. No. Still it was just…”

“Too close a call,” I echoed his sentiment.

“I’m sorry,” he said. The words didn’t sound comfortable coming out of his mouth. As if he were forcing himself to say them out of obligation rather than sincerity.

“About?”

“You were right that I made things worse. I should have stayed in the car. Getting out made it a hell of a lot more likely that those shifters would sense me. That would have been bad for you and the McGeady women.”

“Bad?” It seemed an oddly inadequate choice of words.

“Bad.” He stuck with it. I actually respected that. “Listen,” he said. “This is awkward for both of us. Neither of us is very good at uh...teamwork...it seems. How about you try to trust my instincts and I’ll try to trust yours.”

When I didn’t answer, Payne laughed. The warm sound of it thawed a little of the icy wall around my heart. I realized I wanted to hear more of it. I wanted to figure out a way to grow easy with him. With everyone.

“I make no promises,” he said. “But, I’ll try. You ready to get moving or do you need some time?”

“I’ve been ready for hours,” I said. “If I need to rest, I’ll let you know.”

“Fair enough,” Payne said. He didn’t wait. He turned and went back to the tent. Before I could get the words out to offer to help, he had the thing broken down and folded away. He moved with swift, shifter precision that startled even me. We thankfully hadn’t needed a fire for warmth. A little ripple of fear ran through me wondering what would happen if we did. With his heated shifter blood, Payne wouldn’t get cold at night. I might. When Eve or Molly or Jett got cold, their Alphas kept them warm. I pushed the thought far from my mind, shocked that it even sprang there in the first place.

“We’ll stay along the riverbank as long as we can,” Payne said. “Think you can handle a good ten miles before we stop again?”

“I can handle anything you throw at me.” My tone took on a harder edge of defiance than I truly meant. It didn’t seem to faze Payne in the least. He just gave me a sure nod and started walking. I had to run at first to keep up with him. Then, we settled into an easier pace.

As we got further away from Shadow Springs and deeper into the forest, my heart started to ease a little. I felt a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe we would make it to the border with no trouble. It really was the last place the Pack might think we’d go.

As the morning wore on, I found myself almost enjoying the exertion of the hike. Payne stayed a few paces ahead of me, and it allowed me to settle my eyes on him again without him knowing. So strong. So tall. So sure. And yet, I could feel the current of tension running through him. Of course he was on high alert. We both were. But, I could have sworn it was something else as well. It seemed familiar. He didn’t want to let people in any more than I did. I could respect it.

We hiked for two hours then stopped. Payne wanted to get away from the river a bit and hide under the thick canopy of the forest. I found a natural alcove between some walnut trees and spread out a picnic blanket. I didn’t feel hungry, but my stomach betrayed me with an audible growl when Payne set the backpack down beside me.

“You have to take care of yourself,” he said. “We’re only two days into this and I can already see you’re pushing yourself too hard. I’m not always going to be able to tell if…”

Defensive anger bubbled up inside of me. “I’m stronger than I look,” I said. I meant it as almost a throwaway comment. A thing people just say. In my case, it was truer than he knew. I’d spent three years as a prisoner of the Pack after my Alpha’s death. Three years chained to a wall.

I grabbed the backpack and pulled out a couple of trail bars. When I handed one to Payne, he took it, careful not to touch me. He sat down next to me but kept his distance.

“It wasn’t a criticism,” he said. “I know you’re strong. You’d have to be to…”

“You don’t know anything about me.” I couldn’t help it. My shields went way up and I couldn’t keep my tone from turning hostile.

“Look, Lena,” he tried a softer approach. “This is new for me too. I’m not used to having to look out for a...non-shifter.”

“You don’t have to look out for me,” I said. “Not in the way you think. I’ve faced up to bigger and badder than you, Payne. I’m still here. Even if you and my brother hadn’t charged Birch Haven, I’d still be alive. I’d still be their prisoner, but I’d be alive.”

I wasn’t a shifter, of course. My eyes didn’t change the way his did when his emotions bubbled up. I had no separate beast inside of me to tame. And yet, something must have changed about the way I looked to him. Because Payne reared back as if my words carried physical weight. He went so still it was as if his bones turned to granite right in front of me. His only movement was a slight twitching of his jaw. When he spoke, I felt it more than heard it as he dropped his voice so low.

“There’s nothing bigger or badder than I am.”

My spine turned to ice again and my appetite left me. Then, no sooner had he said it than the warmth came back into my body. My pulse thundered inside of me and it got hard to breathe.

“There are things,” I said, still defiant.

Payne dropped his shoulders. “Look, we can’t be at odds with each other. Not like this. Not if I’m going to get you safely across the border. We have a long way to go. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not like your brother or Liam. I don’t spend a lot of time with non-shifters anymore.”

“You don’t spend a lot of time with anyone,” I said.

He tilted his chin. “You’re right. I don’t. But, what I mean to say is you’re going to have to tell me when you need something. I don’t want you trying to keep up with me just out of sheer obstinance. I get the feeling you’re like your brother in that.” His eyes crinkled with the hint of a smile and I can’t help that I wanted to join him. Just a little.

“You’re right,” I said. “Mac can be a serious pain in the ass.”

Payne didn’t laugh, but the hard set to his shoulders eased. “Good. We agree then. You say something when you need something.”

“That goes both ways,” I said. “You want to keep watch at night. Fine. But you can’t keep watch twenty-four hours a day.”

“Shifters don’t need the same amount of sleep.”

“I know that,” I said. Again, that hard edge came back. I felt like I was answering something he hadn’t asked. I knew shifter sleeps cycles better than he realized. I’d been guarded by them for years. “But, that doesn’t mean you don’t sleep. So do it now. I’ll eat. You nap. We’ll make better time this afternoon. It’s probably the safest time of day for us anyway. We’re nowhere near any of the points on Jett’s map where she says the patrols go through.”

I could see Payne’s need to argue rise within him. Except he couldn’t. What I said made infinite sense.

“Fine,” he finally said. “One hour. I’ll sleep for one hour. As long as you promise to eat well. And as long as you promise that you’ll actually sleep when we stop tonight.”

I gave him a salute and shoved the last bite of my trail bar in my mouth. Payne gave me a hard nod and rose. I followed him with my eyes, loving the agile grace of his movements. He picked a spot of moss at the base of a maple tree and sat down. I pulled a blanket out of the pack and tossed it to him. He caught it neatly in one hand and stuffed it under his head for a pillow. I was about to make a snide joke, but before I could even draw breath, Payne already had his eyes closed and was snoring.

“Typical shifter,” I muttered under my breath. “Sleeps at the literal drop of a hat.” It used to annoy me to no end when Mac and I were kids. I’d toss and turn on one side of the wall, and he’d snore like a buzz saw on the other. As Payne’s rhythmic breaths vibrated through me, I took nostalgic comfort in it.

I took some jerky out of the pack and rooted around for a canteen. We’d stop again later this evening, but Payne was right. I needed protein if I wanted to keep up with him. I couldn’t live off being stubborn. Damn him. Damn them all.

With my back against a tree, I closed my eyes and thought about sleeping too. It was safe enough for now. And yet, it was still better if one of us stayed awake. I don’t know how long I stayed like that. The noon sun beat down then faded. Payne had asked for an hour; I decided to give him two. There was peace here in these woods. In another life, I might have even enjoyed living like this. I’d become an off the grid kind of girl. It was simpler. Slower. I could even do it alone.

I wondered if maybe there’d be a place like this for me in Wild Lake or even further north. Would the shifters up there even accept me? Did I want them to? I’d spent so much time gearing up to go, I hadn’t given much thought to what I’d do if Payne and I succeeded. Could I really live away from Mac and the only family I’d ever known?

“He’ll beg.” Payne’s gruff voice brought me out of my head. I sat bolt upright. He was curled in on himself in a fetal position at the base of his tree, still sleeping.

“Payne?” I whispered. Hesitating, I crawled toward him. He jerked, sticking his legs straight out. Payne’s eyelids fluttered. Through the slits, I could see his green wolf eyes blazing. In a fever dream, I didn’t know if it was more dangerous to let him sleep or wake him. His growls echoed through the woods. If the Pack was anywhere out there, they’d hear him.

“Wait!” he shouted. “Tell me what you want. Do you want him to bleed or do you want him to die?”

I froze, my fingers hovering near his shoulder. “Payne,” I whispered. “Wake up!”

Payne went still. His eyes snapped open and I saw his wolf. He stared straight past me, still in his dream vision.

“Of course, Valent. It’s my honor to give you his death.”

Valent? My heart froze inside my chest as Payne’s eyes fluttered again then went dark. He slumped against the tree and started to snore.