I had never dreamt before, but some innate part of my mind recognised the hazy quality of the reality around me. The echoing sounds of a child’s laughter beckoned me forward. I skidded through the blood red corridors. At the end of the hall was Luc chambers, but the longer I stood still the further away the door seemed.
I followed the flash of white blonde hair, recognising myself as a child. My bare feet slammed forward; the sounds of my struggling breath as I ran to keep up accompanied the giggles of childlike glee. I had never felt the burn in my lungs before. There was human weakness encroaching on my body with every second that I was disconnected from Hell.
A part of me wanted to be strong enough to confront Luc again and beg for him to take off the restraints. Another part of me, the pragmatic and bitter darkness inside of me, knew that it would be no use.
It was the longest that I had ever worn the cuffs for, and I did not know why.
I ran after the echo of my childhood without restraint, relishing in the new sensations that travelled up my body. The sting of my leg muscles and the shortness of breath.
When I found myself on the cusp of giving in, I collided with someone and flew across the floor. The pain that blossomed in my cheek as I skidded across the ice was surprisingly realistic.
Face down on the cold floor was a child’s body. A halo of white blonde hair was stark against the crimson. I pushed myself onto my feet with trembling legs and walked hesitantly towards the prone body of myself as a child.
I brushed a strand hair away from the tiny face when suddenly a child's fist grabbed my hand. I startled but did not move. The body was not so dead after all.
When the corpse lifted its head, it was not me as a child that I saw. It was the dull eyes of Vinca. The Seer that I had met while with Samuel and Vincent Rose.
Shock coloured my features, but I refused to show fear even though the clairvoyant daemon had a hold of my wrist with enough force to snap it if she wished.
Three trials. The Seer mouthed, but her voice was clear as a bell inside of my mind.
“Trials?” I queried, I tried to pull the frail woman to her feet, but she would not budge. I was aware at that point that it was no longer a dream. I did not have the creativity to think of something so elaborate.
“Flower of Envy. Feather of Angel. Soul of Ferryman,” Vinca repeated over and over until the words began to mesh into one long sound. It was gibberish, but most things that Seer’s said were.
“I am going to leave now,” I brushed down my dream-selve’s dress and stood up rigidly. Uncomfortable at the lack of control that I suddenly realised that I had over my surroundings.
I had no plans to listen to the Seers nonsense much longer. I turned away and began to walk.
“You’ll die, you know.” Vinca sang happily. When I glanced over my shoulder, she rocked back and forward whilst hugging her knees. Her face was pulled into a grin so large that it was a miracle that her lips did not split at the edges. “One way or the other, you’ll die.” She sang.
My handmaiden came to my chambers to inform me that I was to dine with the Devil. Neither of us ate food, but that was not the point of the affair. Luc was famous for his dinner shows. Just as I had walked into a cannibalistic feast on the dining table on my first night, I couldn’t imagine the portfolio of horrors that Luc could unleash. Although, I had long since become desensitized to the outrageous and macabre displays.
The meek Hellhound that came to my room to dress me was named Layla. I asked politely when I had nothing better to do whilst she altered one of my sleek gowns.
“Why are you expanding the seams?” I asked with hostility. The handmaiden spluttered and refused to make eye contact.
“Have I gotten fat?” I said to myself in horror. It couldn’t be? I had full control over what I looked like or what shape my body took. I hadn’t eaten anything. I didn’t need to. And yet, as I scrutinised my body in the floor length mirror, I noticed that I was larger.
It was probably because of my disconnection from Hell. That was it, I decided.
Even though I felt like I was carrying an extra tire around my middle, I did not change into a more flowing gown. I would be damned if Luc would see me back down. Maybe that was part of his plan, to hit my vanity and to destroy my looks.
Abaddon was sharpening his knives at the table when I found myself in the dining room. He took one look at my belly and laughed.
“What’s the saying that they have in the human realities?” He snorted unable to contain his mirth. “Who ate all the pies?”
I grabbed a goblet of wine from a servers’ tray and walked over to my preferred seat. Luc’s eyes followed my movements but he said nothing.
“I will rip off your tongue and use it to polish my shoes.” I bared my teeth and snapped them in Abe’s direction for good measure.
“What about eating it?” Abe joked.
I grabbed the fork closest to my dominant hand and my aim was true. I hit Abaddon directly in his eye socket. He howled like a stuck pig and flew back from his chair with his hands over his face.
I took a delicate sip of wine as the tall warrior rolled on the floor as blood seeped through his fingers.
Once his whimpering stopped, much to Luc’s amusement, Abe plucked the fork from his eyelid and slammed it down on the table.
“There was no need for that,” he hissed at me.
I shrugged. “You said I was fat.”
Luc snorted a laugh and shook his head to himself, amused with my actions.
“If you've had enough time to play... Perhaps we can get to more pressing matters?” Luc surveyed us both as if we were children. I ignored his gaze. I did not care what he thought. I would defend myself if someone insulted me.
Perhaps I was not as weak as I even if I was in a human body.
“By all means, go ahead,” I said in a dry tone.
Luc crooked a brow. “With your permission, my Pet?”
“Of course,” I smiled demurely and took another sip of wine. When the bitter liquid touched my tongue, I held back a flinch. It did not taste as it used to. Vinum was the only wine brewed from grapes harvested in Hell, and could successfully get a Hellion drunk.
“How long have you been back home?” Luc swirled the red liquid in his goblet and did not look at me as he spoke.
I picked the skin on my thumb, before stopping myself. Disgusting habit. “A month, I think.”
Abaddon picked up a napkin and unfurled the fabric with a flick. He dabbed the blood from his healed eye socket. “Sounds about right,” Abe agreed.
Luc clapped his hands together excitedly. “We should have a party. A welcome home for Pet.”
I rolled my eyes and shared a look with Abe. Lucifer was in one of his strange moods.
Since I was the one that had the most experience with dealing with him when he was having a funny turn, I threw myself onto the metaphorical sword.
“Sounds exciting.” My voice conveyed the opposite. “Perhaps we can invite Nora Bleu. Or maybe The Leviathan King?”
Luc's face sharpened to a laser point and he seemed like he wanted to burn a hole in my face.
“Perhaps.” He agreed.
“Do we not have a dinner show this evening?”
Luc's expression was unreadable as he surveyed me. “Would you like that, Pet?”
“Whatever pleases you, Master.” I replied but my tone brokered no submission.
Luc snorted a laugh. His wide shoulders shook with mirth. “Let’s not continue the facade, Pet. I have never been your master. You have always been mine.”
“You were my Master when I was forced to obey you and leave Hell.”
Luc slammed his fist down the table, and every table setting shook with his strength. His face did not betray his anger, but the rigid stance of his body told me all I needed to know. I wanted to push him. Some sick part of me liked the reaction I got by incurring his rage. It spoke volumes. It told me that I still meant something to him.
“Why can’t we have a nice dinner for once?” Luc mused, his tone was ice.
“None of us need to eat,” Abe pointed out helpfully.
With the flick of Luc's wrist, Abaddon hunched over in his chair. Blood splattered from Abe's mouth, as if he had been punched in the intestines. It was hard enough to force his ichor up through his gullet and past his lips.
“I can’t sit in a room with you two without becoming collateral damage,” Abe sighed wistfully and washed the blood from his teeth with a long slug of Vinum.
“Perhaps you should leave then?” I suggested helpfully.
“And let you two tear chunks from each other?” Abe snorted.
The silence was heavy and awkward with his honesty. I tapped my fingers against the table.
Luc cleared his throat. “Leave.”
I pushed my chair back and readied myself to stand. Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose as if my actions pained him.
“Not you, Pet.” He said through gritted teeth. “Abaddon, leave.”
Abe left with a bow, and I mourned the loss of our buffer.
After a few painfully long minutes. Until the sounds of Abaddon’s heavy booted footballs faded to nothing, we sat in perfect silence.
I almost longed for a meal to be able to direct my attention to. I refused to acknowledge Luc, and my childishness was obvious.
His chair squeaked against the floor as he sat up. With measured steps, Lucifer strolled to my side. I focused on my hands, which I had carefully placed in my lap.
Luc used a single finger to raise my chin until my gaze was forced to meet his.
“I need to know what I can do to earn your forgiveness,” Luc whispered. He brought his face level with mine, and my head swam at the delicious scent that came from his alabaster skin.
My eyes fluttered, as I sought to align my thoughts in the presence of my Master.
“And what did you do that warrants my forgiveness?” My chest heaved in arousal. I hated my body’s reaction to him but it was innate, so I ignored it. I wanted to hear him say the words.
Luc rolled his eyes and pushed away from me. He backed up until he was leaning against the table. He crossed his arms over his armour-plated chest.
Instantly defensive. My fluttering thoughts of the man I longed for throwing me down on the table and ravishing me disappeared in a blink.
All my hackles rose. I shifted in my seat as I bristled at the unsaid message that his body language shouted both loud and clear.
“How about apologising for bedding me while wearing another man’s body?” I suggested lightly, a small smile graced my lips but it was an effort to put it there.
“Or perhaps, an apology for leaving me to fend for myself in the Human Realities over two centuries ago.” I quirked a brow.
Luc stared at me, impassive as if inviting me to continue.
“Or maybe, lying to me about the mother of your child. Nora Bleu. And your refusal to tell me who this woman is.” I was proud of my calm and disinterested tone.
Luc leant forward and crouched in front of me. He took my cheeks in both of his large callused hands. I forced myself not to lean into his touch when he placed a lingering kiss on each of my eyelids.
“You left me to make me stronger.” I breathed, as his early words echoed through my mind. “But what about what I wanted?”
His arms wrapped around my shoulders and his chin rested on the crown of my head. Still seated, the Devil held me close to him. It was all I ever wanted, and I hated myself for it.
“Nora Bleu is a subject for another time.” Luc addressed.
“But she isn’t the mother of your child. When she was pregnant... It wasn’t yours, was it?” I choked out around the dry lump wedged in my throat.
“No, Pet,” he stroked my head softly and an unexpected weight lifted from my shoulders.
“I wanted it to be me, so badly.” My voice cracked with unshed tears.
“I know, Pet.” His voice was hoarse, and I did not open my eyes. My shoulders began to tremble as dry sobs heaved through my body.
“Am I not good enough to be the mother of your child?” I wound my arms around his neck, no longer a passive recipient of his embrace. I grasped at Luc as if he was a life raft and I was lost at sea.
Desperate. Pleading. Broken.
“You are my everything, Pet.”
“You left me,” I said.
I felt his nod, rather than seeing it. Luc buried his head into my hair and his grip tensed until his hand was behind my rib cage. We were pressed together as if he was worried that I would float away.
“I couldn’t bear it any longer, Pet. I couldn’t stand another day without you. I had to come for you. I had to bring you home.”
I sucked in my bottom lip, and my eyes stung behind closed lids. I felt my body start to tear up. With a shaking hand, I raised my fingers to my eyes, and they came away wet.
“I’m crying?” I whispered in disbelief.
Luc had never looked so tired in all the millennia that I had known him. “Yes, Pet.”
“I’ve been disconnected from Hell for too long.” I realised, numbly.
Luc shook his head and chuckled. “You will be okay. I need you to be human for a little while longer.”
“I will never truly be human.” I spat, forcing my shaking hands to his chest I pushed him back.
Luc did not allow me to put space between us though.
“The Seer said that I was going to die.” I forced the words out, “are you trying to let me die?”
Luc gripped my shoulders, his expression switched quickly. Stricken with horror. “Who told you that?” he snarled, shaking my shoulders. Luc quickly released me from his grip and looked down to his hands as if he was horrified at what he had done.
“What else did she say?” he asked, spitting every word as if it was painful for him to speak.
“Flower of Envy... Feather of Angel. Soul of the Ferryman...” I rattled off as I searched my mental library for the words she had said.
“The only ingredient I don’t recognise is the flower of Envy,” I admitted, looking down to my hands I saw that I was fidgeting. I quickly stopped myself.
“Before there was Hell. There was a field of black dahlias. The only remaining flowers are in the Fourth Circle. Inside of the caverns of the Jade Lake.” Luc informed me lightly. “but there is a more pressing question...”
Luc's eyes had gone cold. Dead.
“Why would a Seer give you the ingredients that the Lord used to trap me inside of my Ice Prison, my love?” He asked lightly.