Chapter 18
Tyson had a hip pressed into the counter in the kitchen of the main house. He’d been neglecting his chores for an hour and a half now because he wanted to explain to her why he’d asked her to leave, and he wanted to do it as soon as she was awake. But, she hadn’t come down yet, and while part of him wanted to go up and check on her, he didn’t want to corner her either. She needed a place here at BlackLodge where she felt safe. He opted to make that place the guest room…for now.
The scent of maple syrup, sausage, and coffee filled the kitchen, and he had to admit that it was nice having females at the compound. Lately, Vesa and Afften went out of their way to make breakfast every morning. It was nice not to have to just slam several cups of coffee before work. Today though, he didn’t eat. His stomach was all twisted up from how he’d reacted to what had happened between himself and Cersi. He just needed to talk to her.
“She’s mean as a snake,” Noah crowed.
Monster didn’t like the way he was talking about Cersi. Neither did Tyson, but it was Vesa who spoke.
“Don’t be fooled by her tough exterior,” Vesa remarked. “She may seem as tough as iron on the outside, but on the inside, she’s soft. She’s fragile.”
“Yeah,” Noah scoffed and muttered under his breath, “Fragile like a fucking hand grenade.”
Tyson chuffed a laugh. He wasn’t fooled by Cersi, and he certainly wasn’t intimidated by hand grenades, probably because he was known to be quite volatile too.
“Don’t say that about my sister,” Vesa barked, her face suddenly flushing red. “She’s been through hell. Absolute! Fucking! Hell! And you’re not gonna sit here and judge her because she had to develop a thick hide from all she’s endured! She might come off like a pitbull, but she has the soul of a fucking poet! A poet, Noah!”
Noah’s hands flew up as he slowly backed away, “Easy, Phena. Sorry. I was just messing around. I…I like Cersi. Honest.”
Tyson’s cheek twitched at Noah’s statement. Inside, his wolf who’d simply been watching the byplay jerked his head in Tyson’s direction expecting him to do something. Why? Simple. Because they liked Cersi too. She was beauty and light and every time she was near him it felt like she carried a bright torch into the black cave of his soul. She saw right through him, and she was the only person who did. That felt big. She felt like she might be for him, and no one was ever for him. Monsters didn’t deserve light or beauty or mates. But, it didn’t stop Tyson from wishing and wish he did. That woman glowed so damn brightly that she was like his very own birthday candle, and for the first time in his life, he wished like a motherfucker.
Footsteps on the stairs alerted them to someone coming down. Instantly, Tyson picked up Cersi’s scent, and while Vesa and Noah rushed to look busy, he simply crossed his arms and turned toward the doorway.
Cersi entered looking too damn beautiful for words. Swallowing hard against the punch of lust that slammed into his balls, Tyson struggled to look indifferent as his eyes locked on hers. She was wearing tight faded jeans with holes ripped all over exposing flashes of smooth mocha skin. A baggy sweater hung off one creamy shoulder and was tented in front by her ample breasts. Today, her lips were again painted in that violent red that had his wolf’s attention going straight to her mouth. He liked her mouth. He liked her clothes. He liked everything about her. But he really liked her hair. Today it was twisted into those raven’s-wing black corkscrews that bounced as she pulled to a stop. Her eyes slowly left his and tracked to Vesa and Noah before sliding back to Tyson.
“You all were talking about me, weren’t you?”
“No!” Noah boomed too loudly while Vesa’s “No!” came out too high-pitched and brittle.
Eyes still locked on each other, Tyson shrugged. “Yeah.” He had to stifle the grin that threatened to wreck his face when Cersi’s lips thinned into a grim line, her eyes narrowing on him.
“Do tell.”
God, he loved her like this, all fierce sass and challenge.
Vesa laid down a towel she’d been holding and quickly moved across the room toward Cersi. “It wasn’t…we weren’t… We weren’t badmouthing you, Cers. You know I’d never do that. The guys just…”
Cersi looked from Tyson to Vesa then back, but she jerked her gaze from his and focused on pouring herself a cup of coffee, asking, “The guys just what?”
Tyson didn’t like the way Cersi hardened her eyes at the last second before she looked away. It felt cold, distant, and yeah he deserved it, but he didn’t like it. Not. One. Bit.
“Noah’s afraid of you,” Vesa answered plainly.
Cersi glanced at Tyson, and he shot her a wink. A wink she frowned at before turning to Noah. “He should be.”
Haddix strolled into the kitchen and asked, “Who should be what?” But his eyes were locked on Vesa, and a smile broke his face as he ignored everyone and everything and crossed to his mate. As if they were completely alone in the room, Haddix pulled Vesa into his arms and kissed her deeply.
Tyson watched a moment before sliding his gaze to Cersi. She wasn’t looking at him though. He followed Cersi’s eyes to where they were locked on Haddix and Vesa engaged in their kiss. Watching his Alpha with his mate, Tyson felt that familiar pang of longing. He wanted that too. Looking back at Cersi, he couldn’t help but wonder if that’s exactly what she was thinking. Was she hoping for the adoration and love that Haddix and Vesa lavished on each other? Did she wish that was her and Tyson the way he was?
Unable to stop himself, he quietly crossed the kitchen and leaned over, blocking Cersi’s view. Her eyes jerked to his like she hadn’t even realized he’d moved.
Cheeks flaming, she ducked her head, and he knew she was embarrassed at having been caught staring.
“Jealous?” he asked quietly.
“No.”
The word rang true, and when he scented the air, he was disappointed at the absence of the tell-tale acrid scent of a lie.
“I don’t want a love like that.” She jerked her chin toward Haddix and Vesa. “I doubt I’d be able to tolerate it.”
“You pretending to be un-loveable, Badass?”
When she huffed a humorless laugh, he had to admit, his curiosity was piqued.
“No, Tyson, I’m not pretending to be un-loveable. I’m not looking for pity or attention either. I openly admit that I want love.”
Her words shocked him because he felt the same. He just hadn’t been able to admit as much to anyone aside from his wolf.
“I deserve love.” Her eyes narrowed on Haddix and Vesa. “But not that kind. I want my own kind.”
“And what kind is that?”
Turning, she pinned him with a hard look. “The dangerous kind. I don’t want Cinderella and Prince Charming.” Her tongue darted out to swipe at her lips. His eyes lowered to watch the movement. “I want Romeo and Juliet. I want the kind of love that would die for me, with me. I don’t want soft and romantic. I want rough and dirty. I want a lover that breaks hearts and bed springs.”
A surge of visceral possessiveness crashed over Tyson so mightily that he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step toward her.
Cersi jerked back and shot him a scathing look. It was one that forced him to hold himself in place as she gritted out, “Just can’t seem to find him though.” She gave her head a sad shake. “No dark knights left. All the heroes are dead.”
Her words felt like a challenge and an insult. Hands balled into tight fists to keep from grabbing her, Tyson’s shoulders hunched forward as if he were about to spring any second. His eyes too were locked on her, narrowed like a lion ready to strike. Worse, his wicked incisors had punched through his gums and were flooding his mouth with blood. To her, he must look like a man set on destruction. Too bad the only thing he wanted to annihilate was her pussy.
Swallowing hard, he winced at the coppery tang that slid down his throat. Forcing himself to take several deep breaths through his nose, his voice was still polluted with his animal when he snarled, “Careful what you wish for.”
Without another word, he turned and stalked away. He knew he had to put some distance between them because right now, the only thing keeping him from ripping her clothes off, throwing her on the kitchen table, and devouring every fucking inch of her wasn’t the fact that his pack still filled the space. He could give two fucks what they thought right now. No, what kept him standing fast was the subtle scent of fear that perfumed the air. Cersi hadn’t been able to mask her panic when he’d stepped toward her. But, how could she be afraid of him? Her! Miss Tough As Iron. Miss I’m Not Afraid of Anything.
As Tyson stalked out to the forest to shift, he wondered if it was actually him that Cersi was afraid of. As soon as he thought it, he slammed to a halt. Blinking rapidly, his mind whirled with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Cersi wasn’t afraid of him at all. Maybe, she was afraid of…herself. Maybe she was afraid of what would happen to her if she let him in.
Turning, his eyes locked on the cabin, and rage filled him that she’d done it again. She’d brought out the worst in him, and he didn’t know whether he was to blame or if it was her fault. Hell, he’d gone to the main house to talk to her, to apologize. Now, once again, he was storming off to keep from doing something they’d both regret. Well…something she’d regret because him striping her bare and slipping his tongue into her pussy wasn’t something he’d apologize for.