CHAPTER THIRTY
A HAZE CROSSED over my eyes as though they were clouded or coated with something. My head was too heavy to move. I recognized the scene—my old bedroom at my father’s estate in Carlsbad.
“We’re safe here. It’s the only place where we’re protected.” Emile’s voice echoed off the walls. “I’m sorry about all the stuff that happened back in Alaska. We had to troll Calind to get to you. He fell for it, and well…”
“Why…” My voice cracked, preventing me from finishing my question.
Emile grabbed a tumbler filled with clear liquid from off the nightstand and handed it to me. It could’ve been water. But being that Emile attacked Calind, drugged me, and brought me to a place I hated, I couldn’t trust it was simply water.
“Why am I here?” I asked, refusing the drink. “What did you do to Calind?”
His green eyes sparkled as he slid over to sit on the mattress beside me. “I have reasons for lying to you and bringing you here this way. I didn’t know until we were together again. You don’t know what you have inside you, or what you are. Or what Calind is.”
“I know enough,” I snapped. “You work for some enemy of Calind’s.”
“A woman approached me two years ago and said she was an agent for Claudette Hawkins and worked for Executive Suites. She told me you were in trouble, and I needed to watch you. I didn’t believe her until the stuff she told me came true.
“She went radio silent a week ago, and then I met someone else. He told me Claudette was playing me, and I believed him, especially after we had sex and the way you acted afterward. The new friend had the same agenda I did—to keep you safe. I’m on your side, Regan. Always was. I think we both know what Executive Suites is—an ample blood supply and a farm of humans for the human Vorarei.”
“You haven’t given me a reason to trust you. For all I know, you might be a part of the experience.”
His eyes crossed for a moment. “You’ve been with me before and after the experience started. You know better.”
“Are you crazy? We haven’t seen each other since I left California the first time.”
“He erased your memories,” Emile whispered and shook his head. “Before you married Calind, had you seen me do anything close to what he can do? Or have you seen me do what a usual human would do?” He grumbled in frustration. “Why don’t you see it, or even feel it? There’s something inside of you, and it’s making you see and think things that aren’t true.”
“What thing inside of me? This?” I pointed to the back of my neck. It wasn’t injecting me with the mysterious liquid at the moment, but that didn’t stop me from wanting it out, since I knew it was dangerous.
“The seizures aren’t what you think they are. You’re not sick with cancer like they told you. You have a parasite, and it is steadily killing you, controlling you when you’re weak, and making you do things when you’re not aware. It won’t stop until you’re dead, and then it will take over your body.”
Even if a part of me wanted to believe him, something deep inside me stopped it from happening. “Cool story, bruh.”
He rubbed his temples and grumbled again. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“I could believe you. Shit, I almost believed a lot of things before you turned into a kidnapper. Thanks to Executive Suites, everything is going the way I wanted it to—the way they said it would. Looks real—feels real. Made my boring life exciting.” Feeling my energy return, I sat upright. “It isn’t real. None of this is.”
“Calind is still in your head,” he muttered. “You can’t trust him.”
“Why not?”
“Because of the people he surrounds himself with. Because he works for Claudette Hawkins, and I doubt she’s playing him like she played me. I know you know who she is, even though Calind tried to make you forget everything. She won’t let him make you forget about her. She’s not someone you want to fuck with.”
I rubbed my forehead, exhaling a stream of air in aggravation. “Claudette the drug kingpin who disappeared a few years ago? Really? This is your story? Come up with something new.”
“You don’t remember any of it? Shit, how much did he erase?”
I blinked at him, bewildered.
“Whether you want to believe it or not, it’s the truth. I can’t say what Claudette wants anymore. I thought I did. I thought it was to keep you safe. It’s not true. What she’s doing to get what she wants has to stop. She’s controlling things, controlling you, and gaining power over you. The sicker you become, the stronger she is.”
I laughed.
“Regan,” he groaned, “I took your blood while you were passed out for a few minutes, the night we were together, and had it tested. Your blood has the power to kill human Vorarei within seconds. It can also kill the pure, or control them, making them do whatever you want them to. If Claudette gets a hold of you, there’s nothing she can’t do.”
“Okay, let’s go with your crazy theories and stories for a minute. What does she want?” I had to stop myself from bursting out into a fit of laughter. “I’ll tell you. Human extinction. Because it always has to be some dystopian scenario.” I laughed harder. “Really, Emile? You guys at Executive Suites couldn’t come up with a better plot?”
“Fine,” he spat with a glower. “Think on this. What Calind gave you made your illness worse. You know it. You can feel it. It works to hide the symptoms, but advances the disease. He wants your death to come a little faster, because he needs it to.”
I stopped laughing. “Why?”
He averted his eyes as his lips turned into a firm line. “To help Claudette.”
I’m sick of his bullshit. Why the hell did he kidnap me here just to throw more confusing information at me?
I headed for the door, but it was locked.
“Regan!”
The panic in his voice made me glance at him from over my shoulder.
Emile reached into the top drawer of a dresser on the opposite side of the room and retrieved a case. He walked toward me and placed it on top of a glass table in front of the lounge.
He opened it, revealing six red-clouded vials. “One dose, once a year. If you take this, you’ll have a guaranteed six more years to live without the parasite taking over. It will counteract the effects of the injections Calind gave you. I can’t say it will stop you from turning, but you will still be you.”
I glanced from him to the vials in disbelief. “There’s a catch. There always is. Otherwise, this door wouldn’t be locked.”
“Calind Glace has to die.”
No way. No fucking how.
An ear-splitting headache made me sink against the door. In a flash, the fog lifted from a few of my memories. They replayed in my head, as if they were always there. I remembered the night I spent with Emile that nearly broke Calind and me apart.
“I’m not playing this game,” I rasped, moving lazily as the emotions hit me. It was as though my mistake had just happened again. “The merchandise isn’t worth the price when I think you’re the one responsible for my…my mother’s death. I remember the vial you gave me. I remember that night. I don’t remember shit else about the time Calind was away, but I remember that. And yeah, I know she’s Claudette, in case you were wondering.”
He shook his head, his features creasing in frustration. “If you can remember all of a sudden, she’s getting stronger. Wait on this, and more people will get hurt. Wait too long, it will be too late. You have to kill Calind. Soon.”
I spun on my heels. “Even if for some abstract reason I wanted Calind dead, what makes you think I could take him out? I don’t know if you knew this, but Calind is very fucking strong. I don’t believe my blood, whatever you say it does, would even put a dent in his strength.”
“Someday, you’ll want him dead. He’s not a good person. He’s psychotic, narcissistic, and will always only look out for himself.”
“You don’t know him.”
“I know his actions.” He shrugged. “That’s enough.”
“I don’t know what I thought,” I said, no longer enjoying this part of my “experience.” “This is far from what I could ever conceive of. I don’t know, maybe I had an idea, and this is far beyond it. This is not the experience I wanted.”
“This isn’t part of some game or simulated experience. Why are you so sure Calind’s your ally? That he’s some kind of saint? He’s a murderer.”
“He’s definitely not a saint. The things he’s done to this body?” I sucked in a breath, making Emile noticeably uncomfortable. “We’re done here.” My hand clutched the doorknob to the front exit. “Unlock the door.”
“You know, your father and Claudette Hawkins were business allies. Do you know why? A powerful project they made together.”
“I know this already. What I want to know is who is this friend that’s helping you?” I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “Why am I talking to you like you’ll give me any real answers? You should just hold up an index card that says ‘insert cryptic statement here.’”
He briefly smiled, and settled his eyes on the floor. “Sometimes our duty is bigger than the idea of being with the people we love, to save them. I never wanted any of this.”
“You know what? For a long time, I felt alone in this world.” I said, realizing my emotions as they materialized. “I sort of floated through my life, doing what I was supposed to do and never found an outlet or a way to be me. I found someone that makes me feel like I’m a part of this world—his world. Around Calind, I feel like I can be who I truly am.” Catching onto a word Emile mentioned earlier, I changed my tune. “D-did you say love?”
“Why did you marry him?” Emile asked, ignoring my question. “Why couldn’t you be with him without being his wife?”
“I wanted to know what married sex was like,” I replied, deadpan.
He shook his head, failing to find the humor in my joke. “Are you happy with him? I mean, really happy?”
I stared back at the door. “Yes.”
“This is what happiness looks like? You look miserable.”
“For the record, you drugged me. I’m supposed to look like shit. And another thing…I’m dying.” I turned around, casting my weighty stare at him. “As for Calind, and what you think I do or don’t feel? I wanted something in this world that felt real, even if it wasn’t. It feels real, and that’s all that matters. The rest of it is a twisted window dressing and not real. Calind and me? We’re the only real thing in this fake word. Do me a favor? No more of these stupid, fuck-my-head-up-with-confusing-information conspiracy games. Leave Calind and me alone.”
He grabbed me, pulling me into his arms so fast, I gasped.
I pressed my hands against his chest, creating space between us. “There’s nothing between us anymore.”
“Don’t lie.” He moved even closer. “I know you feel something. I do, too.”
I touched his face, stuck between slapping the shit out of him and punching him, hard. Why did he wait so late to say this? Why did he continue to do this at the worst of times?
Well, fuck him. He was too late, again. “I don’t know what a relationship should be, but I know my relationship with Calind isn’t perfect. Doesn’t matter because after twenty-seven years, he brought me back to life. If I hadn’t met him, I would’ve been stuck in my bed in La Jolla, waiting to die. Calind’s the reason I want to get up in the morning. He’s the reason I don’t want to die, and he’s the reason I’m mad as hell that in a few weeks, maybe less, I’ll be—” I choked up, swallowed it back and proceeded. “I feel deeper for Calind than I’ve felt for anyone else.”
Emile rolled his eyes and bowed his head. “You can’t leave, Regan. Sorry.” Beating me to the other door, he slipped out, locking the door behind him.