CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS above my head gave me a headache. In a wave, pain pervaded my body. The intensity made my eyes water. My muscles tensed up in painful spasms. It was agony to breathe, let alone move.
Through foggy eyes, I glimpsed at the room’s aesthetic, only because it was both familiar and alarming. The high-tech machines attached to my head and chest by many wires surrounding my bed weren’t the kind found in a regular hospital.
I slanted my head to the right and looked through the glass. Men and women in black suits and white coats mulled around with the Executive Suites insignia on their lapels.
My uppity guide, Mr. Paré, had returned and was at my side with a grim smile on his face. “Good evening, Miss Barcel.”
Four simple words unearthed buried emotions from me, unleashing a deluge I couldn’t control.
Totally immersed in a false world, it gutted me to know that it was all fiction, and I never expected it to hit me so hard. Never had I wanted something to be real. My life should’ve ended when I thought it did—in Calind’s arms.
“Thank you for choosing Executive Suites as your final dream destination. Your outtake consultation is going according to your questionnaire. You chose reality, thus the reason we pulled you out of your shared virtual reality with your Experience Creator.” Mr. Paré chirped the spiel, shifting his weight from foot to foot as though he had something better to do with his time.
It was stupid to stick to my skepticism and check the wrong box on my application. I should’ve gone for an adventure and went into the afterlife oblivious.
“Miss Barcel, we are nearing the end of your life,” Mr. Paré continued. “The cancer metastasized while you were under what we call our ‘deep sleep’ to induce the experience. There’s nothing left to do but make you as comfortable as possible. Is there anyone you want to say goodbye to?”
“Calind,” I said, choking on the failing words. The simple act of breathing hurt. Talking hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. “I want Calind.”
Mr. Paré shook his head, keeping up his distance. “We don’t—”
“Right here, sweetheart.” Calind appeared and sat at my bedside, looking as good as he did in my experience.
I never thought the man’s voice could soothe me as much as it did at the moment.
Lifting a weak hand in the air, I reached for him, and he covered my hand with his own.
Calind nodded to a gawking Mr. Paré, directing him leave us alone.
“Was it all a virtual reality, dreamed up by some computer geeks?” I asked.
“It’s unimportant, Regan. The only thing of any importance is what we shared.”
I softened, giddy he so easily shared a sentiment he never would’ve in our dream. “How do I know you don’t say this to all the girls?”
His dimples deepened with his smile.
“When did it start?”
“After you signed the legal paperwork,” he told me.
“The injection? When the world turned suddenly bright as hell?”
He bobbed his head.
From across the room, I caught sight of my reflection in the window pane. My face looked gaunt, my once natural glow had disappeared. Chapped and chalky lips curved into a frown. My eyes were sunken in their sockets and sallow. I was skin and bones, a walking corpse a day past being put in the ground. I was hours, maybe minutes away from eternal oblivion.
Calind moved to the window and closed the curtains, leaving the room dark and stealing away the view of my reflection.
I suddenly realized I was in a diaper and smelled of rot. I covered my face and cried because I couldn’t do shit else. “You should go. You really should go.”
He mumbled a few indiscernible words.
“You don’t have to do this anymore. Go kick back at one of your five thousand homes, if they were real. You did your job well.”
Calind looked crestfallen. “This act failed to work on me before, and it won’t work on me now.”
“It’s cruel to watch me die. To see me like this. I’m trying to help you.”
“You’re not.”
“What else do you want from me?”
He crouched forward and stared at me. I somewhat hated his beauty now; it made me feel even more like shit. “As promised, I’m here with you until the end.”
“Fuck that promise and make another one. Don’t watch me die.”
“Is it…is it what you want?” he asked, appearing to have trouble expressing the question.
I nodded my head. “Promise me you won’t stay.”
Calind smoothed my hair and held my head, planting a kiss on my forehead. “Promise.”
My lungs struggled, forcing me to release short spats of air.
Calind placed his soft lips on my cheek, resting them there for a minute too long.
As he walked away, the pace of my heart filled my ears, drowning out everything else.
At the doorway, Calind halted and turned toward me. “On your application, you said you preferred reality over the fantasy. Do you still?”
As tears fogged my eyes, I almost didn’t manage a “No.”
Calind approached my bed with a purpose. His steps fell slower. The room grew pitch-black until I couldn’t see my figure in the darkness.
My limbs became numb, and the light above me froze over my eyes, blinding me with white.