Chapter Nine
Ava
Ava’s fever was shorter than the previous one. Perhaps it was due to the fact that she was able to sleep through all of it, waking only to drink and eat before falling back under. She dreamt of Jackson holding a baby in his arms, a grin on his face. The warmth that filled her at that image was different from the burning of the fever.
When she finally woke feeling back to herself, it was almost heartbreaking to find him sitting beside her with no baby in sight. The dream quickly faded, though, as she realized how parched and weak she felt.
Jackson’s face broke into a smile as she started to sit up. He helped her, hands lingering on her shoulders. “Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Alive… Are we at the safe house?”
“For now.”
She shivered as she remembered Astrophel drinking from her. She checked her wrist, but all she saw were two red marks where he had bitten her. Jackson wrapped his arms around her and her panther purred.
“Oh!” Ava cried in relief as she put a hand to her chest. “She’s still here.”
Jackson pulled back slightly. “Your panther?”
“Yeah.”
“I guess she feels safe, then.” He nuzzled her neck. “Astrophel is dead.”
Relief washed over her, but she didn’t respond. Astrophel dead… what did that mean from here on out? Were the vampires going to descend on them now? Did it mean that they’d be cowed and hidden away? Did it mean that if Jackson left the Savage Brotherhood, Coalfell would still be safe?
Her heart sunk at the last thought. Of course, it wasn’t going to be that easy. She threw back the blankets and made to stand. Jackson wasn’t going to leave his life’s work because she asked him to. And these last few days… how could she live like this, wondering if he was going to come home to her or be killed in battle?
And that wasn’t even taking into account all the criminal activity he was involved in!
“I guess I can get out of here now,” she said.
“What?” Jackson’s surprised question made her flinch.
Ava didn’t look at him. “The vampires won’t be after me anymore. I can get back to my life.”
“Oh… well, I suppose…”
She could see the reluctance in his eyes, the hesitance to let her go. It made her tense. She didn’t need him to hold onto her. She had been just fine without him, and she’d be fine continuing on without him. All he had done was cause her trouble, really… Besides, it wasn’t as though a few weeks in heart-stopping danger was enough to turn lust into love.
She turned away from him, blinking hard as she managed to stand. It turned out to be a bit too much and she sank back down. With a shuddering breath, she wondered what she should say—she needed to start talking before he said something that neither of them could unhear.
“Is Shadow okay? And that other wolf?”
“They’re both fine. I am, too, by the way. It’s not like I took on a vampire king who was intent on killing me to resurrect his son…”
His teasing tone made her frown, but she didn’t respond to it. A look of frustration crossed his face, and he glanced away. What was he hoping for? That she’d throw herself at his feet and beg him to keep her? Or was he just wanting to make her smile?
“I’m glad that you’re okay,” she finally said. “Astrophel said something to me… something about resurrecting the master who would unite all of vampire-kind and take over the world…”
“He’s dead.” Jackson reached for her hand and she pulled away from him. “You don’t have to worry about anything he said, he’s gone… Ava… these past few weeks—"
“I know,” she said. “I know. It’s been hard. I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to be rude to you. I was just afraid.”
He sighed. “Ava—”
“But now that it’s over, we can go our separate ways, right? I can go back to my life and you can go back to your gang. No harm, no foul. I’ll pretend like I’ve never heard of vampires and you can treat me like any other girl you’ve fucked. We don’t even have to make eye contact in the grocery store.”
Jackson’s eyes widened. Then they narrowed, and his lips pulled into a tight line. “Why are you doing this, Ava?”
“Doing what?”
“Pushing me away.”
Ava’s hand started to move to her stomach, but she stopped herself. Was this the sort of life she wanted for her child? To grow up in a gang? Fighting vampires? No. And it wasn’t what she wanted for herself, either. The tender look of desire and frustration in Jackson’s face wasn’t going to change that.
“I’m not pushing you away,” she said finally. “I’m walking away. Because no matter what you have convinced yourself of, there is no future here. I told you I wasn’t going to be a gangster’s side piece.”
“I’m not asking you to—”
“It’s either that or you leave the Savage Brotherhood. Step down as alpha and let somebody else take the reins. And that would open us up to attack from vampires. Don’t even pretend like you’d risk that for me. No… you have your job. I have my life. Now take me home.”
Jackson looked like he might argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he silently helped her down the stairs and onto his bike. A few minutes later they were on their way, things uncomfortably tense with her body pressed against his. Ava had a lump in her throat as she rode, trying to clear her mind, to think about anything but him. He pulled up to her place an hour later and she hopped off the bike, looking at him over her shoulder.
“Thank you,” she said. She could see the pain in his eyes but bolstered herself. “Thank you for saving me. For protecting me.”
“I will always be here to protect you,” Jackson vowed.
Ava couldn’t respond to that. She walked away, her heart feeling like it was going to explode with the loneliness and regret already welling up inside of her.
***
Melanie sat by her side, humming softly under her breath. Ava tapped her fingers on her thighs as she glanced around the waiting room. She and Melanie were the only ones there, and for that she was grateful. Part of her felt silly for asking her friend to come with her, but she was too nervous to do it on her on.
She had been dreading this appointment for two weeks, ever since she had gotten home from the safe house and seen Jackson for the last time. After being poisoned by vampire venom twice, Ava wasn’t sure what was going to happen with the baby. She had talked to Shadow about it once, who told her that she had been bitten three times while carrying her oldest daughter, but that didn’t really soothe Ava’s fears.
She was afraid that something had gone wrong, and that she would lose the only part of Jackson she had left.
“Ava?” came the voice of a nurse. Ava stood up, taking a deep breath as she followed the woman through the doorway and into an examination room. Melanie went with her, carrying her purse.
The doctor already waited for her and greeted her warmly. After making sure all the information he had was up-to-date, the doctor turned to her with a smile.
“So, you said on the phone that you were worried about being pregnant?”
“I am pregnant.” The multiple home-tests she took proved that. “But, I—I got sick recently. I’m afraid that it—it put stress on the baby, maybe. I was very, very sick. I was practically in a coma. We’re not sure what caused it. I was visiting my parents and… I got sick.”
Beside her, Melanie shifted and frowned deeply. She didn’t believe a word of it, but how was Ava meant to tell her the truth?
The doctor nodded. “Well, we will get an ultrasound technician in here shortly and take a look at things. How far along are you?”
“Uh… Two months. Maybe three?” Time was such a blur that she couldn’t even remember what day it had been when she and Jackson had run together in the woods. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
The doctor nodded.
Within a little while, Ava was laying on the examination bed, her shirt rolled up over her belly. Cold gel spread over her stomach as the doctor pressed the wand against it. Ava held her breath as she watched the screen, her eyes darting toward the doctor’s face.
“See that?” she said, pointing at a spot on the screen. “That’s her heart.”
A burst of relief washed over her. Melanie gripped her shoulder, smiling.
Ava stared at the tiny pulsing thing. “Is she okay?”
“Looks okay to me,” the doctor said. “We can do some blood work, but that’s a healthy pulse if I’ve ever seen one.”
Her muscles relaxed and she leaned back. Her baby was okay. It seemed like a miracle, but there it was. They were going to be fine. The question was what was she going to do now—staying in Coalfell didn’t seem like a good idea. Not when Jackson was right there. If he saw her pregnant and put it together… she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to walk away a second time.
Melanie drove her home silently. When they passed by the bar, Ava couldn’t stop herself from looking over at it. Jackson’s bike was nowhere to be seen, and she slumped back again.
“Are you coming to work tomorrow?” Melanie’s voice was a fake upbeat.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, you did disappear for two months and then came back pregnant. You’re lucky you were given your job back.”
Ava flinched at the accusation in her voice. She did consider herself lucky to have been given her job back, indeed. Jackson had faked an official-looking document detailing her time in a hospital, and her boss had been very worried. He assured her that she was welcome to return. And she needed the money, what with a baby on the way…
Once they were back in her house, Melanie made them both some tea while Ava slumped into the couch. She was so exhausted lately that she wasn’t certain if she had recovered from the venom. Maybe it was just normal pregnancy stuff.
Melanie brought her the tea. Catnip. Ava took a deep whiff of it. It calmed her instantly, her panther stretching and purring at the familiar scent. Melanie lapped at hers, looking very cat-like as she did so. Her legs curled under her and her eyes remained locked on Ava.
Eventually, Ava sighed and set her tea down. “What do you want to know?”
“Where you really were.”
Ava looked away. “I was sick.”
Melanie narrowed her eyes.
“I was sick.” A lump rose in her throat. “But… but there is more than that. I wasn’t with my parents. I was with… a man. And he…”
Tears started to roll down her face. Melanie’s accusing expression turned to one of horror and sympathy. She moved forward, taking Ava’s hands in hers.
“You can tell me. Is he… the baby’s father?”
“Yes.”
“Who—"
“It doesn’t matter,” Ava said, cutting her off. She didn’t want to talk about Jackson, didn’t even want to mention his name. She had pushed him away completely so that he was lost to her, and now she would be raising their child by herself. “I can’t have him. Oh, my God! I want him. I want him so bad.”
The tears increased. Shock, then relief, flitted over Melanie’s face.
“So you were with him willingly?”
Ava opened her mouth then closed it. Not exactly willingly, but not the way that Melanie had been fearing, either. She let out a shuddering breath as she fought to regain control of herself.
Since she had lost him, Ava thought about Jackson constantly. All she wanted was to see him, yet every time she drove past the bar and saw his motorcycle, she kept driving rather than stopping to see him. Ava wondered if he even thought about her at all—then she wondered why it should even matter to her. She made her choice. She had to leave it at that. A life of gangs and violence… it wasn’t for her.
“Hey.” Melanie wrapped her arms around Ava. “It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be here for you, understood? I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”
Ava nodded, forcing a tremulous smile on her face. Her parents had said the same thing when she told them about her pregnancy. But the thing was, she wasn’t alone because she had been abandoned. She had been the one doing the abandoning.
The thought broke down the rest of her defenses and she collapsed into Melanie’s arms.
“I love him,” she sobbed. “I love him but I can’t have him.”
Melanie held her while she cried for what seemed like hours. Eventually, the sobs turned to sniffles, and she was able to pull away from her friend. The truth of everything that happened pressed against the back of her teeth, but she knew she couldn’t tell Melanie what had happened without going into the vampires. It was so unbelievable she knew that Melanie would never accept it.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Ava ran a hand through her hair. It was greasy. When was the last time she had showered? Two days? Ugh. There was no need for her to start falling apart over this. No, she was tougher than that. Starting tomorrow, she was going to get her life back to normal… even though she knew there was no normal left.
She thought about Jackson, his mouth, the way he touched her, fighting the thoughts out of her head. She knew she had to get rid of him for good, that it would do no good to dwell, but Ava found it was almost impossible to move on.
“We met at the bar,” she said slowly. “And it was… it was like a movie. Just everything about him clicked with everything about me. I ran away with him, I thought that I’d found…” What had she thought she’d found? “And then I found out he was part of the gang. And I can’t live like that, so I left him.”
Melanie’s eyes widened. “Did he hurt you?”
“No. He let me go.” She turned her gaze to the two cups of tea, now cold. “He let me go.”
***
The months flew by. Ava pushed Jackson from her mind and focused on taking care of herself. Her belly grew bigger and rounder week by week, and pretty soon she had people at the coffee shop asking her when she was due and being offered a place to sit regularly. Her dedication to her job didn’t go unnoticed, and it was soon bearable work. As the time drew closer for her to give birth, she was pleased to see that she had racked up the savings she needed in order to take time off when the baby was born.
One night after a long day, she went home and curled up on the couch, her hands pressed against her stomach as the baby kicked. She had just started to doze off when the door was flung open. Jackson came charging in.
Her heart jumped into her throat as she got to her feet. “Jack—”
His gaze focused on her belly, then darted back to her face. “You have to come with me. Now.”