Seventeen

Nessa wandered through the new kitchen, admiring all the shiny surfaces. The equipment was installed, and she’d already begun moving supplies into the new pantry and the adjacent cooler.

She paused at the kitchen island with both hands resting against the cool, steel surface. Her body warmed and her mind filled with images of Gaius from the night before, making love to her against the island as she bent over with her bare breasts pressed against the cold, smooth metal. It had been yet another of many trysts they’d engaged in for weeks. The frequency was such that they’d almost become routine, except for the fact that her body ached for him whenever he wasn’t around.

Every day, he’d arrive in the downstairs kitchen like clockwork after breakfast. Sometimes he’d simply bend her over the counter, lift her skirt, and ram into her while she encouraged him with eager moans. Other times he was slower about it and let her take control, so she’d push him to the floor or onto a chair and climb on, riding his cock like she couldn’t get enough of him.

Then after supper was done and she’d finished prepping for the next day, she’d always wander up to the new kitchen, where Gaius would find her again. He’d arrive fresh and clean, yet still smelling faintly of sawdust or varnish or some other building material, and they’d make love somewhere in the new kitchen.

The new kitchen island was only the latest location. He’d turned her around for their second round, hoisting her up and climbing fully onto the broad, flat surface and making slow, deliberate love to her. He lay beside her afterward, half-naked as though this was a bed and the kitchen their bedroom. She supposed it was the closest they’d get to sharing a bed again, and she would take it. He rarely said much, but always invited her to come home with him, something she still couldn’t bring herself to do, knowing their affair had an expiration date.

Nessa slid her hand along the smooth edge of the steel counter, already nostalgic for the previous evening. She supposed it was finally time for her to let him take out the dumbwaiter. She would mention it to him when he came.

If he came.

He was usually here by now, half-naked and buried inside her. She waited another half-hour before a sinking feeling settled in her belly. The suns had set and the moon was rising. He wasn’t coming. For the first time in two months, he wasn’t coming.

She left the kitchen with a sick feeling. It was bound to happen eventually. This wonderful affair they’d had all summer couldn’t last, and she knew as much, but hated it anyway. She should have prepared herself for it better, but she’d wanted him so much she couldn’t say no when he came to her every morning and evening. His absence now was all the more telling for how consistent he’d been for the last several weeks.

It was over.

Nessa sank down onto her sofa in the cottage and reached for her communicator. Even though her mother was rarely the voice of reason and would have nothing helpful to say by way of advice, she still found comfort talking to her. Her mother was the closest she could get to her father outside of his old kitchen, but the old kitchen was now filled with memories of all the trysts she’d had with Gaius, which meant it was the last place she’d find comfort.

“Mom, hi,” she said when her mother picked up.

“Nessa, honey, I was just about to call you! This is so exciting. I have amazing news!”

Nessa sighed as some of her tension eased. Her mother was a wellspring of juicy gossip about the Hill Clan nobility. This was just the distraction she needed.

“I’m all ears,” she said.

“All three of the clan leaders’ sons are in the market! Rumor has it that they’ve all contacted Gerri Wilder recently. I told you it would happen, sweetie, and it has! It finally has!”

Nessa frowned, worried by the direction the conversation was going.

“Well, good for them. I’m sure the matchmaker will find them all wonderful mates.”

“Oh, honey, you don’t understand. She just called me! I literally ended the call right when you rang. She didn’t want me to say anything yet, but I have to tell you. She has found you a mate, sweetie. It has to be one of them! I don’t know which one, though . . . She only told me he was shifter nobility, but there’s no way it could be anyone else. The timing is too perfect.”

Nessa blinked at the floor for a second, not sure if she’d heard correctly.

“Ness, honey, are you there?”

“Y-Yeah, Mama, I’m here. That can’t be right.”

“Would I lie to you? This means you need to come home right away. I’m already planning a party to celebrate! Mrs. Wilder will be bringing the guest of honor and you can meet him then. Isn’t this exciting?”

Nessa struggled to bury the surge of panic and confusion of emotions bubbling up. “Of course it is,” she said, hoping she sounded convincing.

“You don’t sound happy, honey. Don’t you want this? You know that woman is a miracle-worker. She matched your father and me, and your uncle Alton with your aunt Julia. Now it’s your turn.”

“I am happy,” Nessa said, straining through the tightness in her throat just to get the lie out. She should be happy, because if the matchmaker had finally found her a mate, that meant it shouldn’t be long before she found the right woman for Gaius too. The woman who would finally inspire him to finish his house and be happy himself. That was all she wanted . . . for Gaius to be happy.

She let out a long sigh and repeated, “I am happy, Mama, I mean it. I just don’t know if I can get away yet . . .”

“Nonsense. I know Ignazio will let you leave for this. In fact, I think I’m going to call and invite him to the party. All your friends should come. This is a wonderful event!”

Nessa’s mouth fell open as she started to protest, but her mother kept going on about the party without a pause for breath. It didn’t matter anyway; Ig and Bry were close enough to their extended circle of friends that they’d find out one way or the other, and her mother was right—they’d want to be there.

Finally, she assured her mother that she would plan to be there the next evening and hung up. She flopped down onto the sofa, her chest aching with a sense of loss for something that had never really been hers to begin with. How could she even explain to Gaius what had happened? Would he understand?

No, the fact that he hadn’t shown tonight was enough of a sign that this was right. As much as she hated the idea of leaving, now was the time to go. She would leave a note for Gaius in the morning with his breakfast, which she would prepare early before leaving for home.

She roused and bathed, then slipped into her nightgown, but was too agitated to climb into bed. She needed something to channel this pent-up energy, and her thoughts went to the crate of Precious flowers still sitting outside her door in their pots. They were the final touch to her garden and would give her the outlet she needed.

Not even bothering to change out of her nightgown, she headed for the door. But the tightness in her chest wouldn’t ease, and by the time she reached for her doorknob, her eyes had blurred with tears and her throat burned with rising emotion.

The sudden knock on her door shocked her and she froze, blinking the tears from her eyes and sniffling slightly. “Who is it?”

“Baby, I’m sorry I’m late. Can I come in?”

“Gaius?” Nessa opened the door, her heart pounding, and he was there, dressed in clean jeans and a t-shirt, his hair still damp from the waterfall bath he’d taken. He looked way too good for her sanity. “I—I thought you weren’t coming.”

“Wild stallions couldn’t keep me away from you, Ness. You gonna let me in?”

She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder at the little cottage’s interior. So many nights over the past month she had considered inviting him to her bed to spend the night, but ultimately avoided it. Sleeping in the same bed together again would be too real, too much like they were a couple when she knew they could never be.

“Baby, it isn’t a hard question,” Gaius said, bracing his hand on the doorframe and leaning in. His scent overwhelmed her as his beard brushed her cheek and his lips found the sensitive spot beneath her ear. One big hand gripped her hip and squeezed. “I can’t sleep at night if I don’t have a taste of you first.”

Oh god, she couldn’t think with him that close. His sweet, woody scent made her forget all her boundaries, and the brush of his lips against her throat had her entire body awash with thrumming desire.

“You need me as much as I need you, don’t you, Ness?” he murmured, crowding closer and looking down into her eyes. He hooked a damp strand of her hair over her ear and cupped her face, studying her for a moment with a look of wonder before he closed the distance and covered her mouth with his.

He hadn’t given her a chance to answer his question, for which she was grateful. Yes, she needed him, but what good would it do to admit it?

Against her better judgment, she let him guide her backward and shut the door behind him. She could have one more night. Just one.

The next thing she knew, Gaius had lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed. He released her mouth and drifted his lips down the center of her chest, inhaling deeply as though her scent gave him sustenance.

Nessa combed her fingers through his damp, dark curls, enjoying the way the light caught the shimmering silver strands that were most prominent at his temples. He tugged the straps of her nightgown down her arms, freeing her breasts and cupping them in both his callused palms. With singular focus, he lavished her breasts with attention, licking and sucking until she’d entirely forgotten why she’d ever had a reason not to let him into her bed.

He left her panting and writhing with need when he pulled the gown down over her hips and tugged it off with her soaked panties. Then he spread her thighs and wordlessly bent to cover her core with his mouth. He let out a hungry growl against her wet folds as he delved in, and Nessa clutched at his head, overcome by pleasure the second he began to tongue her clit.

Gaius’ expert licks took her to the edge swiftly, the orgasm rocketing through her and persisting for several seconds, sustained by the slow, gentle licks he gave her as she came down from the high.

She stared up at him when he sat back on his haunches, still kneeling between her legs, fully clothed. Her orgasm had done nothing to shake the earlier uncertainty, and that uncertainty sapped the strength to tell him what she wanted . . . that she needed him inside her now.

But Gaius began to strip anyway, his blue gaze never leaving her face as he pulled his t-shirt off over his head, shifted backwards off the bed and kicked off his boots, then shoved out of his pants.

She closed her eyes for a second, too overwhelmed by the sheer, massive beauty of him. He had a Champion’s body, with scars and tattoos that enhanced the hard planes and bulging muscles.

The bed shifted at her feet when he climbed back on, his warm skin brushing against her legs as he made his way back toward her. He pressed his lips to her left knee and slid both hands down her inner thighs, pausing to caress her still soaked pussy and tease until she arched her back with a moan.

Then he was over her, poised on both arms. The head of his stiff cock found her entrance easily and he shoved home in one smooth stroke, burying his face against her neck with a harsh groan of pleasure.

“Yes,” she whispered, slipping her thighs up his sides and hooking her ankles around his waist. “God, yes.”

It felt too good to have him completely naked and in her bed. They hadn’t been completely naked together since that first weekend, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it. But naked meant vulnerable, and the second her next orgasm faded and his spasming cock eased inside her, that sense of impending doom rose in her once more.

Gaius slipped out of her and fell to the side, curling his big body around hers and holding her tight. His breathing grew even and slow, but Nessa still lay awake for some time, her cheeks wet with tears over what had never been hers.