Chapter 4

Kate’s children arrived at her apartment around three o’clock on Thanksgiving Day every year. They talked and laughed, happy to see one another, and they sat down to an early dinner at six, after her daughters helped her with the final touches in the kitchen. Grandma Lou came early to help cook the turkey, and Richard loved to help and was a fabulous cook.

Everyone was in high spirits, talking at once and teasing each other, very much as they had when they were children. Kate said grace before the meal, and then they brought in the food from the kitchen and passed it around. She prepared a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, and other than Christmas, which was equally festive, it was everyone’s favorite day of the year.

They all noticed immediately how happy Izzie looked this year, and they were halfway through dinner when Justin pressed her about it. She finally admitted that she was seeing someone, and she said demurely that it was going well.

“Okay,” Justin said, smiling at her, “tell us what that means. Who is he? What does he do for a living? How did you meet him? And is it serious? Let’s get the cards on the table,” he teased her. “We all want to know.”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” she said, blushing. “Don’t be so nosy. He’s very nice, his name is Zach Holbrook, and we’ve only been dating since September.” They were a lot more involved than just dating—they were basically living together—but she didn’t think they needed to know that, even if they wanted to. She wasn’t ready to tell all yet.

“How did you meet him?” Justin was relentless.

“He was a client,” she said truthfully, but she didn’t describe how she had defended him on felony charges in a pro bono criminal case. That wouldn’t have occurred to any of them, and they would have been horrified, and so was she initially, but it didn’t matter anymore. She knew now what a decent person he was. He was also incredibly sexy, and she was in love with him.

“What does he do?” Justin persisted, and she hesitated for a fraction of an instant.

“He has a trust fund,” she said in a soft voice. And that was true too. They just didn’t happen to give him much money from it. Almost none in fact.

“Does he work?” Willie asked her. It was a reasonable question. He might have, but the answer was no.

“Not at the moment,” she said vaguely.

“Why didn’t you bring him?” Grandma Lou asked her, watching her carefully. She could sense that there were things that Izzie wasn’t sharing with them, and didn’t intend to. Kate had that feeling too.

“He’s with his grandmother in Palm Beach for Thanksgiving.”

“He sounds very fancy,” Julie said quietly. “Is it weird being with someone who has so much money he doesn’t have to work?”

Izzie nodded in answer to the question. “Sometimes.” She was dodging their questions artfully. They wouldn’t have liked the truth.

“What did he do before?” Justin chimed in again, assuming that he must have worked at some time.

“His father manages their investments,” she said vaguely, and tried to change the subject by commenting on how good the food was.

“When are we going to meet him?” Kate asked her daughter. “Would you like to bring him for Christmas?” She wanted to lay eyes on him and judge for herself. She could tell that he was important to Izzie.

“I don’t know yet. We’re still getting to know each other.” That wasn’t entirely true, but she didn’t know what else to say.

“You’re welcome to bring him anytime you choose,” Kate said, grateful to see her oldest daughter so happy. She was smiling about it and looking warmly at Izzie when Justin startled them all with news of his own.

“Richard and I have been interviewing surrogates since August, and we think we’ve met the right one. We found her through friends in New Hampshire. She’s done this once before. She’s twenty-nine years old, married, and has two children. Richard and I have decided to go ahead with her. And a friend of Richard’s that he grew up with is giving us her eggs. They’re going to harvest her eggs next week, and with any luck, if it works, the surrogate will be pregnant and we’ll have a baby on the way by Christmas.” He beamed at Richard as he said it, and the two men exchanged a smile. There was silence at the table for a moment as everyone stopped eating and stared at them, and Kate looked upset.

“A baby? Why do you want a baby? Why don’t you just get married, since it’s legal now? A baby is an enormous commitment.” And she wasn’t convinced they were ready for that. “And what if the surrogate won’t give it up?” Kate could see all the pitfalls instantly, and Izzie nodded.

“She gave up the last one she gave birth to without a problem,” Richard said quietly. “We feel confident that she’s reliable and honest. And she won’t get the final payment until she signs off. We’ve been talking about it for a long time, and we don’t want to adopt. We’d rather have our own. And to answer your question, Kate, we’ve talked about marriage too, and it’s not important to either of us. But a baby is. We know it’s a big commitment. We both feel ready. We want to have a family of our own, and this seems like the right time. We’ve been meeting with doctors and lawyers for months.” Justin nodded, and his mother was fighting back tears. She knew that Justin’s income was decent but irregular, and Richard’s salary as a teacher wasn’t large. How were they going to afford a baby? And what if they broke up? All she could see ahead of them were the risks, and none of the appeal of starting a family.

“Why would you want a baby now, when you’re both so young?”

“I’m nine years older than you were when you had Izzie, Mom. And Richard is thirty-six.” Justin spoke in a calm voice, but no one at the table looked enthused at the idea.

“From a legal standpoint, surrogacy is very risky business,” Izzie said in a disapproving tone. “There are a great many cases where the surrogate won’t give the baby up once it’s born. Why take a chance on that kind of heartbreak? If you want kids, why don’t you adopt?”

“That’s not without risk either,” Justin said quietly, “and for a number of reasons, Richard and I feel that surrogacy is the right choice for us.” They hadn’t made the decision impulsively, but no one else knew that, and they had both put some money aside. Enough to move ahead now.

“How do you know she’s healthy, and not a drug addict, or she won’t drink while she’s pregnant? You don’t know who this woman is,” his mother said, looking anxious.

“We know enough, Mom, to be comfortable about her. And our friends got a wonderful baby from her. The baby is healthy, and she was honest and reasonable.” Justin was visibly disappointed by his family’s reaction. He had hoped they’d be happy for them. It had been a huge decision and they’d put a lot of thought and research into it, and soul searching, and it was what they both wanted more than anything. They had no doubts.

“I really feel you should rethink it,” Izzie said firmly.

“Izzie’s right,” Kate said definitively.

“I think it’s wonderful,” Julie said, beaming at her twin brother and Richard. “I hope you have twins.” They both laughed at that. It had occurred to them too. “We’d be fine with twins. But we’re hoping for one this time,” Richard answered for him.

“I think you’re crazy to want kids,” Willie added. “They’re messy, they smell, they keep you up all night. Why would you want a baby?” Richard and Justin both laughed at his reaction, which was appropriate for a twenty-four-year-old who couldn’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would want children.

“Be careful you don’t wind up with one,” Justin warned him.

“I think it’s an excellent idea,” Grandma Lou said in a strong voice, and Kate stared at her mother.

“How can you say that?” Kate challenged her. “They have no idea of the responsibility or the commitment. What if something happens to one of them, God forbid?” She looked straight at Justin and then at Richard. “What if you break up?”

“Straight couples break up,” Grandma Lou said sensibly. “Tom died and you survived it, and did a great job bringing up the children. Children survive divorces and the death of a parent. And no one understands the commitment one has to children until they have their own. That’s never stopped anyone. And Justin and Richard aren’t children. It sounds like they put a great deal of thought into it, and are doing it responsibly,” Grandma Lou said in an approving tone, with a smile at her grandson, which he was grateful for.

“You can’t send it back if it’s too much for you to handle,” Kate warned them.

“That’s not going to happen, Mom. We want this baby, and we’ve put a lot into it, time and money. We met seven surrogates before we chose this one. The legal term is ‘gestational carrier,’ ” he said, educating them all to what was already familiar to them.

“Can you afford it?” Kate asked them, looking panicked. She knew what it was like raising children with very little money, and the strain it would put on them. More than they could imagine.

“We can,” Justin assured her. “Not easily, but we can. We’ve been saving up for it, and when I sell my book, we’ll have more.”

“You and Tom couldn’t afford Izzie when you had her,” Kate’s mother reminded her. “Or the twins. People do it all the time, and find the money as they go along. Your father and I weren’t making much money when we had you either. If everyone waited until they were rolling in money, most people wouldn’t have children. You work it out, just as you and Tom did, and your father and I did. Justin and Richard will work it out too. Congratulations.” She beamed at them. “We should all be celebrating,” she said, with a pointed look at her daughter. “And next year on Thanksgiving, I’ll be a great-grandmother. I couldn’t be more pleased,” she said firmly, and the table exploded in chatter after that with a million questions about the egg donor, the surrogate, and how the process worked. Kate was noticeably silent for the rest of the meal. Justin had a quiet word with her before they left.

“I’m sorry you’re upset about it, Mom,” he said sadly. He had wanted her support and for her to be pleased, and she very obviously wasn’t, which was a blow to him.

“I’m not upset. It’s not that I don’t approve. I’m just worried for you, for both of you. Having a baby is huge. I want to be sure you know what you’re getting into. I think it’s so much responsibility for you, financially, emotionally, and in every other way.”

“We do know what we’re getting into, Mom. Trust me. I want you to be happy for us, and excited about the baby,” he told her honestly. “We’re not children. We know what we’re doing.” He sounded very sure.

“No one knows what they’re doing before they have children,” Kate said bleakly.

“Are you sorry you had us?” he asked her bluntly.

“Of course not,” she said, shocked by the question. “It’s the best thing your father and I ever did.”

“Were you sorry you had us after he died?” Justin asked more gently.

“Certainly not. I was happy I had you, and such a big part of him.”

“Then why would it be different for us?”

“You don’t know how the child will feel one day to have two fathers and no mother. What if they give him or her a hard time in school?”

“They give the children of straight parents a hard time in school too. And we’ll be there to support him or her. And we’ll explain it to him as soon as he’s old enough to understand.”

“It’s a little too modern for me,” Kate said, looking deeply worried for them. But she hugged them both and told them she loved them when they left. Grandma Lou stayed to chat with her, and the others went home to bed.

“You have to back off on this,” Grandma Lou told her seriously. “You can’t control what they do. It’s important to them, and they’re trying to go ahead with it in the best way they know how. You have to be supportive of them, Kate. I understand your concerns, and I’ll worry about it too. But for the sake of your relationship with Justin, you have to at least pretend to be pleased. He’ll never forgive you if you don’t. We owe it to him to be on his team now, and endorse their decision. You don’t have any other choice, unless you want Justin to distance himself from you, maybe forever. They’re going to do it no matter what we say. You need to get on board, Kate. Don’t lose your son over this. It’s not worth it. They’ll have the baby anyway.” They were wise words, and Kate knew she was right, and she remembered how worried her parents had been when she dropped out of school to get married and got pregnant immediately, and with Tom in law school, they had depended on her salary, which was far less than Justin and Richard made. But she didn’t like the surrogacy idea at all. It sounded fraught with risk to her. Yet she also knew that Justin wasn’t going to change his mind and suddenly give up the notion of their having a child. Grandma Lou was right, and there was no choice but to get on the bandwagon, or Justin would never forget it or forgive her. She had asked him if Richard’s parents knew, and they didn’t. The boys hadn’t told them since his parents weren’t even willing to acknowledge that their son was gay.

“You’re the only grandparent this child is going to have,” her mother reminded her. “So you’d better get used to it, for your son’s sake,” she told Kate sternly. “And I honestly think they’ll handle it well. I think it’s very exciting, and brave. Having a baby is always a courageous thing to do. You never know how it’s going to work out. But you managed four on your own, I’m sure they can handle one with the two of them. They’re sensible, responsible young men. Have faith in Justin’s judgment. He’s a smart boy, Kate. And he’ll be a good father. And however you feel about it, this is what he’s going to do. You can’t let him down.”

There were tears in Kate’s eyes as she nodded. Her mother was right, but she was worried about it anyway. It seemed too difficult to her. Grandma Lou left a little while later, and Kate was left to ponder everything that had happened that night. Izzie was in love, and Justin was having a baby.

In the cab going home, Izzie was grateful that Justin’s news had gotten them off the subject of Zach and the fact that he didn’t work. And God help her if they ever found out how they’d really met. She almost shuddered at the thought.

And once back at their friends’ apartment, Justin talked to Richard about his mother’s reaction to their news.

“Does she think we’re idiots, or children?” he said angrily about his mother. “She acts like we’re the first gay men to ever do this. She’s usually so cool.” But she hadn’t been that night. Richard was far more willing to forgive her than Justin, who felt cut to the quick by what she’d said and her negative response.

“She’s worried for you, that’s all,” Richard said soothingly. “To our parents, we’re always kids. And in this case, kids having kids. And surrogacy shocks a lot of people. It’s not ‘normal,’ and Izzie’s right, there have been problems with it in some states, particularly when it was first legal. Give her time. She’ll adjust.”

“She worries about us all too much,” Justin complained to his partner.

“She’s a mother, that’s what she’s supposed to do,” Richard said and Justin laughed ruefully.

“Then let’s agree now not to be like that with our kids,” Justin said and then remembered what Izzie had said. “And by the way, what do you think about Izzie’s trust-fund-baby boyfriend?”

“It better be a big trust fund or he’ll be a heavy weight on your sister. As ambitious and hardworking as she is, I’m surprised she wants to be with a man who doesn’t work.”

“He must be great in bed,” Justin said, laughing, but it had bothered him when she said Zach didn’t work, and he thought she looked embarrassed by it too. It had been a night of big news and startling announcements. He and Richard were especially touched by his grandmother’s reaction to their baby, and they had a lot to look forward to in the next few weeks. They were both excited and stressed about it. Their friend’s eggs were going to be harvested in a few days, and mixed with their sperm. They both wanted to be sperm donors for their baby. The sperm and eggs would be fertilized in the laboratory, and then the two most viable ones put into the surrogate’s womb, and hopefully one would take. They could both hardly wait. It was an incredible process and the culmination of a dream for them. They fell asleep talking about it that night, as they had for weeks. And all they could do now was pray that they would be fathers soon. It would prove to both of them that if cherished long enough, dreams do come true.