As I stood stage left, my eyes closed, I listened to the banter of Anderson, who played Puck, and Josiah, who played a faerie. I laced my fingers together and breathed in the frozen air. I made myself into Titania. As Titania, my husband, whom I’d once loved deeply, would stop at nothing to hurt me. From his many affairs to his ridiculous request that I give him the orphaned boy I watched over, he always sought to pain me. I loved my husband, and I hated him.

I felt tears—Titania’s tears—well up in my eyes.

“And here is my mistress,” Josiah called, cueing Oberon’s and Titania’s entrance on stage.

I opened my eyes and nodded to Hannah who was dressed as a faerie. She held the train of my dress. She wore a blue and white dress and silver wings to appear the part of a frost faerie. I took a deep breath and stepped on stage.

The Ice House Theatre had been hastily constructed. There was a small, wooden stage that stood just a few feet above the audience and supporting beams for a curtain. Rows of rough cut timber benches sat before the stage. Braziers burned brightly, illuminating the crowd and warming the attendees. Behind the benches was standing room. Tenting had been used to enclose the space save the entryway through which I had a view of the Frost Fair outside. I looked out at the festivities. My eyes skimmed the scene. On the frozen Thames, a small city of tents had been erected practically overnight. Intermixed with the makeshift stalls were ships trapped in the frozen river. I heard rowdy voices coming from the temporary taverns, smelled the scent of roasted pecans on the bitterly cold breeze, and caught a glimpse of the masts of ships frozen in their ports. Revelers ice-skated down Freezeland Lane just outside the theatre. The Frost Fair was in full swing.

The sound of applause pulled me back. The crowd stretched all the way to the entrance. Several members of the gentry sat on the benches at the front. Behind them stood the commoners.

“Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania,” Robert, who played Oberon, called to me from across the stage.

I let Elyse disappear and summoned Titania once more. All at once, I was overwhelmed by Titania’s confused feelings of love and anger. I clenched my jaw and fought back Titania’s tears, my heart beating quickly as Titania wondered how her husband could so willingly hurt her.

“What, jealous Oberon?” I retorted, smiling sardonically at him. Titania’s bitter words were a mask for the pain her heart felt.

Oberon glared at me. “Rash woman. Aren’t I your lord?”

“Then I must be your lady. But are you my lord? That didn’t seem to concern you when you left Faerieland to take the guise of Corin to make love to Phillida,” I retorted angrily as I crossed the stage.

I eyed the benches. Where had John gone? I didn’t see him amongst the fine company gathered there. Perhaps he was too late to take a seat amongst his peers.

I turned once more to Oberon. “And now you’ve come from the farthest reaches of India to see your favorite lover, the bouncing Amazon Hippolyta, be forced to wed Theseus. Your buckskinned mistress, your warrior love. What, have you come to bless her womb one last time before Theseus fills your place?”

The crowd snickered at the subtle bawdy joke. I scanned the crowd once more. John wasn’t there. But at the back of the crowd, leaning against a tall pole, was Kai. My lips twitched into a smile at the sight of my forever-friend. His dark hair was tousled in the wind, an ever-present scowl on his face. He may have looked like he was sour, but I knew better. He was concentrating. And at that moment, he was concentrating on me.

When he noticed me looking at him, his gaze softened. His arms were folded across his chest, but he lifted his fingers in the slightest of acknowledgments so not to distract me from my work. It was the same signal he’d used since the first time I took the stage, letting me know he was there and watching. That little move made the knot in my stomach uncurl, and suddenly I felt more relaxed.

“Shame on you, Titania. You, who love Theseus so well that you’ve led him from woman to woman, from Perigenia to Aegles to Ariadne to Antiopa, breaking hearts in your wake. For what?” Oberon spat at me. “Are you jealous of Hippolyta?”

I looked away from Kai and let Titania fill my mind once more, her thoughts becoming mine.

Fury in my eyes, I turned on Oberon. “Don’t pretend you are jealous of the attention I paid to Theseus,” I began then was lost to Titania’s words.

Exchanging barbs with Oberon, I let my thoughts take second place to Titania. And before I knew it, my scene was done. In a huff, Titania turned and left the stage.

Behind me, the crowd broke out into raucous applause.

Smiling widely, Charlie and Lizzie, who played Hermia and Lysander, stood just off stage.

“Amazing, Elyse,” Lizzie whispered.

“Elyse who? I see only Titania,” Charlie said, clapping me on the shoulder.

“Was it all right?” I whispered to Lizzie.

“You jest! You were Titania,” she replied.

“Marvelous, Elyse,” Marve whispered, joining us. “We never get applause mid-scene. I teared up at the end when you spoke of the orphaned boy,” he said as he adjusted my gown.

Through a very slight crack in the wood of the makeshift backstage, I peered out at the crowd. I still didn’t see John.

“Now, when you lie down to sleep in Titania’s bower in your next scene, be sure your sleeping face is still visible to the audience. Be the picture of an angel. Like this,” Marve said, folding his hands together and pressing them against his cheek. He smiled serenely, but the angelic expression looked very odd on his bearded face, his bushy eyebrows arching sweetly.

I giggled. “Of course. Did you happen to see Lord Waldegrave in the audience?”

“I…I don’t know. Elyse, are you listening to me? An angel, do you hear me?”

“Yes, of course, a sleeping angel. I thought he was going to join the gentlemen at the front, but I don’t see him there. Did you notice him in the crowd?”

“Actresses,” Marve said with a huff. “It’s no wonder they used only male actors in Master Shakespeare’s day.” He rolled his eyes playfully then turned to help the others. “Angel, got it?”

I smiled. “Yes. Indeed. Halo and all.”

At that, Marve smiled then went off to coach Lizzie.

 

 

For the next two hours, I played the part of Titania. I tried to ignore my worries about John, but they kept popping up nonetheless. Where had he gone? Thankfully, Kai stayed fixed in his spot. His little nods of reassurance kept me focused. As the play progressed, Titania fought more with Oberon, fell in love with Bottom who was wearing a donkey’s head, and slept facing the crowd looking like an angel. Before I knew it, I reached my final scene.

Reconciled by the end of the play, Titania and Oberon wove around the lovers who lay sleeping on the stage: Theseus with Hippolyta, Helena with Demetrius, and Lysander with Hermia.

“Hand in hand, with faerie grace, we will sing and bless this place,” I said, smiling down at the sleeping pairs. Then I twirled around the couples. My soft pink ballet slippers made me feel light on my feet. Calling upon my training as a ballerina, I pirouetted around the pairs, sprinkling a mixture of flowers and silver-colored flecks of paper onto the couples as I moved, blessing their union. The shiny paper glimmered like faerie dust in the shadowed stage light.

As I wove, I glanced at the crowd, feeling the love they had for the illusion I’d created. They didn’t see an actress, they saw Titania, the Faerie Queen, blessing the lovers. They stared, enraptured.

Amongst the crowd, I spotted a man I had not noticed earlier. He wore an elegant suit made of rich-looking blue cloth with silver buttons, trimmed with ermine. His long, blond, almost silver, hair fell over his shoulders. He stood with both hands on his walking stick in front of him. He wore a soft smile on his face. When I met his eyes, he bowed slightly toward me. I paused a moment, nearly forgetting myself. Then I turned back to Titania’s duties. Blowing a kiss, I cast the last enchantment on the lovers. When I was done, my faeries and I moved offstage to allow Puck the final scene.

Robert exited the stage just behind me. He pulled me into a hug. “What a Titania,” he whispered.

I felt the heat of a blush stinging my cheeks. It was one thing to be flattered by the audience, but a compliment from an established actor like Robert was truly an honor.

Backstage, we waited as Puck finished his closing lines: “If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended, that you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear…” and on until his final call of “…give me your applause if we are friends. And Robin shall make amends.”

At that, the crowd broke out into wild applause.

Marve gave a signal then Skippy dropped the curtain. Then, we waited. The crowd whistled, cheered, and clapped. Grinning happily at one another, we waited until the curtain was lifted once again then returned to the stage to soak in the accolades.

The moment I stepped onto the stage, the crowd broke out into wild cheers and rose to their feet.

“Titania! Titania!”

The crowd whistled and clapped.

I looked toward Kai. He smiled, looking genuinely happy, then bowed to me. My eyes fixed on him, I curtseyed in return. Looking over the crowd, I noticed that the fair foreign gentleman in blue was gone. And still, John was nowhere to be found.

We made our final bow then the curtain closed for the last time. We all headed away from the theatre to the tent behind it which served as our backstage dressing area. I linked my arms with my fellow actresses, Lizzie and Amy. “Well done, fair mortals,” I told the girls.

“Oh, Elyse, we are sure to lose you from the company after that performance. Did you see who was in the crowd?” Lizzie asked.

“The foreign gentleman in the blue coat? The fair one?”

“Who? No. I didn’t see any fair gentleman, did you?” Lizzie asked Amy.

“Only Elyse’s friend, Doctor Murray,” Amy replied with a laugh, referring to Kai.

They both giggled.

I shook my head. “Who was here?”

“The stage manager from the Theatre-Royal in Covent Garden,” Lizzie exclaimed excitedly.

I gasped. “I missed a line in act four!”

Lizzie shook her head. “Surely no one noticed. They were too busy watching you be Titania, not just act her. Elyse, I dare say, you’ll be on the stage at the Theatre-Royal in no time.”

“Come now, girls. We all have our gifts. The two of you did an excellent job tonight. Your argument became so heated I thought you might truly scratch each other’s eyes out.”

Lizzie laughed. “Elyse,” she said then shook her head.

Amy patted my arm.

“Miss Elyse, a gentleman is waiting at the front for you. He sent these,” said Skippy, one of the stagehands, pressing a bouquet of flowers toward me. They were roses, but they were the oddest blue color. Their tips were covered in crystalline frost.

“Frost Fair roses,” Amy exclaimed. “A Spanish ship frozen in the river is selling its cargo. They were lavender, or so someone at The Frozen Mermaid said, but the cold turned them blue. Look at the tips. They’re so beautiful.”

John. Sweet John. Thank you.

I pulled two roses from the bouquet and handed them to each of the girls.

“Oh no, we couldn’t,” Lizzie objected, but she and Amy took the roses all the same, smiling at them in admiration.

“Couldn’t what?” Marion, who’d played Hippolyta, asked, coming up from behind them.

I forced myself not to frown. Marion was one of the senior actresses in our company. She was very talented, and she knew it. But she was also very grim and had no love for anyone else in our troupe. She was already redressed in her regular clothes. Had she even come on stage for curtain call?

“Someone sent Elyse Frost Fair roses,” Amy explained.

Marion scrunched up her nose. “Frozen roses. They’ll wilt the moment you take them inside.”

“Don’t be rude, Marion,” Lizzie said, glaring at her.

I tried not to let her rough manner unnerve me. “For Hippolyta,” I said, handing one of the blossoms to her. “For your excellent performance.”

She rolled her eyes and took the blossom absently. Without another word, she left.

“Cankerblosson,” Amy snarled playfully in Marion’s wake. “Now, who are they from?”

“Lord Waldegrave, of course,” Lizzie replied.

The girls giggled.

“Perhaps I should go find out,” I said, arching my eyebrows playfully.

They nodded in agreement.

We all headed into the tent to change out of our costumes. I went to my section of the tent which had been partitioned off. Inside, straw had been laid on the floor. My trunk of full of costumes waited. A mirror sat on a barrel, a box with my makeup inside. Shivering in the cold air, I changed quickly.

I must have overlooked John in the crowd. There were so many people, so many faces there. A fleeting thought passed through my mind that perhaps the roses had come from the manager of the Theatre-Royal. For a brief moment, I closed my eyes and envisioned myself on such an elaborate stage. Certainly, Struthers Theatre was a fine enough venue, and I’d been there since my grandmother had introduced me to Marve almost five years ago, but it wasn’t the Theatre-Royal. I envisioned the well-dressed lords and ladies in their boxes. Everywhere, and everything, in that theatre glimmered under the massive crystal chandelier. I envisioned myself center stage in a proper ballet costume with my pink slippers shimmering under the theatre lights. No, that dream was too big. Winning a lord with my pretty face was far more likely.

Sighing, I slipped on my coat then headed out.

“Goodnight, Elyse,” Marve said. He was standing between the dressing tent and the stage lighting a pipe. “Very well done.”

“Thank you. Are you spending the night on the ice?”

He nodded. “Hobbs, Robert, me, and my pistol.”

The Frost Fair was certainly festive, but also highly unregulated. By now the city would have assigned some officials to keep watch over the festivities, but still, it didn’t pay to take chances with the Struthers Theatre’s goods.

“Can I go get you some dinner, something to drink?” I offered.

Marve shook his head. “I sent Skippy along. It was a good show. You played very well tonight.”

“Like an angel?”

“Exactly like an angel.”

I laughed. “Goodnight, Marve.”

“Night. See you bright and early tomorrow, right?”

“Of course.”

I waved then headed toward the front of the theatre. The moon was high in the sky, but the Thames was anything but dark. Torches and braziers illuminated the ice with orange light. As I turned the corner, I eyed the small crowd gathered there. Where was John?

Suddenly, a boy ran up to me. “Miss McKenna?” he asked, tugging on my arm.

“Yes?”

“A message,” he said, handing me a slip of paper.

Confused, I opened the paper to find a note. The message was from John. He’d been called away on urgent business. He had to miss the show but promised to return tomorrow afternoon.

“Elyse?” Kai’s voice pulled me away as I read the hastily-written lines for the fourth time. “Elyse?” he asked again, his voice softening. He set his hand on my arm. “Ah, good. You got the roses.”

I looked up at my old friend. In light of the nearby torch fire, his hazel-colored eyes shimmered green.

“The…the roses?”

Kai studied my face then frowned. “What’s wrong?”

I suddenly felt embarrassed. “Nothing. I’m fine. The roses are from you?”

“Did you like them?”

I smiled down at the bundle in my arms. “They’re beautiful. But they’re so very expensive. You shouldn’t have wasted your money on me.”

Kai looked perplexed. He shrugged. “I’m glad you liked them. Your performance was…Elyse, you were wonderful. This was your best show yet.”

“Better than my Ophelia?”

“By far. Ophelia is too sad for you. A half-fey thing yourself, Titania fits you better. Now, come on. I’ll buy you dinner. Or, at least, I’ll try. I think half of the men at the Frost Fair are in love with you.”

I laughed. “Then let’s go to The Frozen Mermaid and see how many pints my pretty face can win us.”

Kai smiled then looped his arm in mine. “You really were wonderful.”

“Flatterer.”

“When have you known me to flatter anyone?”

“Never.”

“Then that should tell you something,” he said, then led us toward the pub.

I smiled at him. As we stepped away from the theatre, I noticed something lying on the ground. I looked down to see a single Frost Fair rose lying there, the pale blue petals crushed and scattered on the snow-covered ice.

“Pity,” Kai said, following my glance.

I frowned but said nothing even though I knew where the discarded blossom had come from: Marion.

I cast a glance back at the theatre. John had missed my best performance. Well, there would be others. I hoped he was all right. Something important must have pulled him away. Otherwise, why would he leave like that? A pang of doubt wracked my heart, but I pushed it away. There was no room for doubt in love. I turned my attention back to the moment and smiled up at Kai who was beaming down at me.

“Truly, a wonderful performance,” he said, patting my hand. Then we turned and headed toward the festivities.

 

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