‘How do I look?’ Elsie asked her audience with a self-conscious smile, pirouetting in a small circle in the tight space available in Audrey’s kitchen. It was the end of another day. The shopkeepers on Fisherman’s Road had locked up, calling ‘goodnight’ to one another, the blackout blinds had been pulled down, the shops swilled out and the signs switched to ‘closed’. Gathered around Audrey’s kitchen table were Audrey, Maggie, Lily, Pat and one of Charlie’s sisters, Fran, with her two small daughters, Pearl and Vivian, having tea for Elsie’s birthday and to talk about her wedding plans. Audrey was determined that Mary begin to feel part of the family too, so she was tucked in next to Pearl. The women and children squeezed in around the table, as the kettle boiled on the cast-iron range and Audrey sawed up a Coburg into doorstep wedges, piling them onto a plate, and placed an open pot of strawberry jam next to them. A birthday cake – that Audrey had baked with Mary – was waiting to be cut and was displayed on a plate with a single rose, plucked from the garden, as decoration. She’d also made lemonade with saccharine tablets for the girls and a small Chivers jelly. There was a collective sharp intake of breath as the women admired Elsie in her wedding dress.

‘Gracious me, what a beautiful bride,’ said Pat. ‘You do look a picture.’

Standing with her stocking feet now flat on the cold floor tiles, arms by her side, Elsie laughed at the silent and stunned expressions of the women before her. It made her wonder how rotten she normally looked! The dress Audrey had passed on to her was a simple, mid-length ivory lace number with silk lining, handmade by Pat for Audrey’s wedding years previous. It had cap sleeves, a row of pearl buttons down the front and a ribbon tie at the waist, as well as matching delicate fingerless lace gloves. Even in bare feet, with her hair cascading over her shoulders and her cheeks ruddy from the cycle ride from work to Audrey’s, she felt as if she’d suddenly been transformed from Elsie Russo into Rita Hayworth. Unable to stop smiling, tingling excitement shot up her spine. She would soon be married to William, the man she loved with her whole heart. She felt for the engagement ring, laced onto the chain around her neck. The thought of seeing him again after all these months made her quiver with excitement, though there were nerves too.

‘You look like a princess,’ said six-year-old Pearl, who had slipped off her mother’s lap to attempt to stick a finger into the jam pot, only to have her wrist lightly tapped and be tugged gently away.

Audrey reached to the top of her dresser and got down the tin of boiled sweets and offered them to the children. ‘There you go, cherubs,’ she said. ‘Make it last!’

Pearl carefully took one and stuffed it straight in her mouth with a beautiful smile and a ‘fankoo’. Vivian clutched one in her hand, to save until later, and Mary, who Elsie hadn’t heard speak a single word since she arrived in Bournemouth, gave a grateful smile and nodded at Audrey, who nodded in return. It seemed the two of them had found a way to communicate without words.

‘Thank you!’ Fran corrected her daughter. ‘It’s “thank you”, for goodness sake.’

Pearl’s big eyes filled with tears and Elsie acted quickly.

‘Are you sure I look like a princess?’ she said, putting her hands on her hips, sticking out her tongue and crossing her eyes. ‘Princess Gargoyle more like!’

Pearl burst into fits of giggles, spitting out her precious sweet but catching it in her hand just in time.

‘That’s more like the Elsie we know and love!’ said Audrey. ‘William’s going to be speechless when he sees you on your wedding day. You look so pretty.’

There was a murmuring of agreement from the women. Pat stood up from her chair to check the waistline on the dress, her fur stole slipping onto Maggie’s seat.

‘Can’t say the same for your mink stole though, Mrs B,’ said Maggie, picking it up and, as if it was a puppet, making its little face move up and down. ‘He looks like he’s seen better decades!’

‘What’s it to you, Maggie?’ said Pat sternly, snatching the stole back and throwing it over her shoulder. ‘I am very attached to my mink. My husband gave it to me before he died. I know he’s a little worn, but, well… so am I. Some things don’t need commenting on, Maggie. In time perhaps you’ll learn that not blurting out the very first thing that pops into your head is a preferable way of conducting yourself. You should take a leaf out of Mary’s book. I haven’t heard a peep from her.’

It was the turn of Mary’s eyes to fill with tears and Audrey quickly grabbed her hand.

‘Mary’s finding different ways to talk to us,’ said Audrey hurriedly. ‘Aren’t you, sweetheart?’

‘I’ve always thought children should be seen and not heard,’ said Pat. ‘So I think Mary is very polite indeed. Unlike some, Maggie.’

After her little speech, Pat continued to inspect the dress. She yanked at a little spare fabric on the waist, pinching Elsie’s skin as she did so. Elsie grimaced silently and Audrey winked at her, suppressing a laugh.

‘Sorry Pat,’ said Maggie. ‘Don’t mind me and my big mouth.’

‘I don’t mind you,’ snapped Pat, then turning to Elsie. ‘I thought maybe we could take it in half an inch, but I think it fits you like a glove as it is.’

Elsie nodded. Pat was a fearsome woman – the type to give anyone a dressing-down if they crossed her – but she had a kind heart. She stayed quiet while Pat fiddled with the fabric, watching Audrey stand to clear some room on the table and then kneel down to reach into the back of a cupboard in the dresser. As she rummaged, the rows of dinner plates and bowls displayed along the top shelves wobbled precariously.

‘Are you delivering a calf, Audrey?’ Maggie said.

Audrey chuckled and when she pulled a bottle of rum out of the cupboard, holding it up for all to see, the women clapped.

‘Delivered!’ she said. ‘What do you ladies say to some “milk from the brown cow” while we’re blathering? We still need to decide on the food. Sardine sandwiches? Jelly and custard?’

‘Milk from the brown cow?’ asked Lily, frowning. ‘Whatever is that?’

‘Tea with a shot of rum,’ explained Audrey, with a smile. ‘Just what we need.’

‘I might be able to get you a leg of something for the wedding,’ said Fran, her eyes sliding from left to right. ‘Don’t ask me where from.’

Elsie had always liked Fran. Her husband was away with the navy, but Fran kept chipper for her little ones and you always felt better for being in her company.

‘Where from?’ asked Audrey immediately, standing up and pouring a dash of rum into the teacups. ‘Not the black market, I hope. I’ve been hearing too much about that recently. I don’t think your mother would approve of that, would you, Pat?’

Pat raised her eyebrows as if considering the question. ‘Desperation can make a woman behave out of the ordinary,’ she said, busying herself with sticking the pins into the pincushion. ‘That’s all I’m saying.’

Audrey pulled a shocked face, but said nothing more. She handed Fran a tea with a dash of rum in it. Fran gulped in down in three swallows.

‘Needed that! Not the black market no,’ she said. ‘The Canadians!’

‘Oh the Canadians!’ said Maggie, pretending to faint. ‘They’re dreamy.’

‘I wouldn’t have noticed,’ said Fran with a grin, ‘but I have done some sewing for the Royal Canadian Air Force boys, and they’re certainly generous. Last weekend they gifted me a small joint of beef for doing their uniform repairs in a hurry. I tried to refuse it, but they said they had no use for it and it would spoil if left in their digs.’

‘Well what were you to do but accept?’ Audrey said, with a sly smile. ‘No wonder your girls have roses in their cheeks!’

‘Exactly,’ said Fran. ‘But I can see what’s available if you like, Elsie? I’m sure they have access to all sorts.’

‘I don’t want anything special,’ said Elsie, sitting down heavily as if suddenly hit with doubt, her shoulders drooping forward and no longer looking the belle of the ball. ‘I mean, nothing too ostentatious. People are struggling so much it wouldn’t be right to be showy. Who knows how William will be feeling as well? He didn’t say much in his letter at all, but people are not in the mood for celebrating now that France has fallen, along with the rest. Everyone thinks it’ll be us next.’

The mood in the room darkened as each of the women considered the prospect of German invasion.

‘No war talk,’ said Maggie, waving a hand in the air dismissively. ‘I’m fagged out with war talk. It makes me wonder what we talked about before. Now it’s all Hitler’s army and the rationing!’

There was a murmur of agreement in the room.

‘Life is for living, Elsie,’ said Audrey. ‘Now more than ever. I think you should celebrate this wedding as much as you can. We all should.’

The women nodded.

‘Makes you look to the past when the future’s so uncertain,’ said Pat wistfully. ‘Makes me think about my dear husband.’

‘What was he like?’ asked Elsie gently. ‘I’ve not heard you talk about him much.’

‘Well I’ve found much of life is about putting on a brave face, so I don’t dwell on the past,’ said Pat. ‘He was quiet, witty and a hard worker. My family didn’t really approve of me marrying Bert, he wasn’t well-to-do enough, but I loved him and that was that. Nothing could stop me running up that aisle.’

‘How about you, Audrey?’ asked Lily, who had so far been quietly sipping her tea. ‘I knew you were getting married to Charlie but Father said we couldn’t come to the wedding. I was furious with him! What was it like?’

Elsie detected sadness pass over Audrey’s face at Lily’s admission, but after taking another sip from her drink, in what she’d come to understand as usual Audrey fashion, she brushed it aside.

‘Charlie baked me a loaf in the shape of a ring, which he thought very funny,’ said Audrey, rolling her eyes. ‘But it was lovely. William gave me away. I’d hoped Mother would come and bring you, Lily, of course, but she didn’t, so I just had to get on with it… It’s a good job Charlie has a bigger family because my side of the church was half empty! So anyway, let’s drink to Elsie and William’s happiness and to all our absent friends and family.’

Noticing that Mary had snuggled up close to Audrey and was chewing on her thumbnail, which was already bitten to the quick, Elsie wondered why the little girl was silent. She gave her a smile and received a small one in return. She was a sweet little thing.

The rest of the evening passed in a warm glow of friendship, laughter and a sense that, no matter what was happening in the rest of the world, Audrey’s kitchen was a sanctuary. At almost midnight, after Charlie had gone back into the bakehouse to knock back the dough, the women were yawning and keen to get into their beds. Elsie hugged Audrey, thanking her for a lovely evening.

‘Oh hang on,’ said Audrey. ‘I’ve got something for you. I’ll give you it now because I’ll forget otherwise.’

She opened the dresser drawer and pulled something out, presenting it to Elsie in a paper bag. Elsie opened it and held a black iron horseshoe in her hands.

‘It belonged to the old roundsman who used to deliver the bread by horse and cart when Eric, Charlie’s uncle, ran the bakery,’ she said. ‘Story goes, the horse knew where to stop without a word from the roundsman! It’s a tradition, for good luck for your marriage. Hang it on your wall and always keep it upright, so the luck doesn’t fall out, and be grateful I chose this tradition. You know they used to crumble cake over the bride’s head for luck in the old days!’

Elsie pulled a horrified face and both women laughed.

‘Thank you,’ she said, hugging Audrey. ‘I love it.’

---

Elsie walked out into the quiet, still night. On the coast road, where the heady scent of gorse flower filled the air, she looked up at the great expanse of sky above the ocean and gasped. With the blackout in force, thousands of stars were visible. It was as if someone had scattered handfuls of glitter across a blackboard. She wondered how, with breathtaking sights like this, men like Hitler could make it their life’s work to destroy, murder and maim. Did he see something different when he looked up at the sky?

‘It’s something I’ll never understand,’ she said to herself, jumping onto her bicycle. She was listening to the creak of her saddle and the turn of her pedals when, seemingly out of nowhere, came the ghastly whine and wail of the air-raid siren. The discordant sound enveloped Elsie and, stopping cycling, she held her hands over her ears, her eyes darting all around her. Suddenly bright white searchlights were sweeping the sky and the drone of enemy aircraft added to the din. Confused for a moment, Elsie stood still before she processed what the siren actually meant. An attack was imminent!

‘Take shelter!’ shouted an Air Raid Patrol warden, blowing his whistle. ‘Take shelter now!’

Heart hammering in her chest, Elsie hesitated, not knowing where to go.

‘Come quickly!’ shouted an elderly woman from the door of the nearby convalescent home. She was dressed in her nightwear, with her coat over the top. ‘We have a shelter. There’s space for you, my dear.’

Quickly, with her gas mask slung over her shoulder, Elsie abandoned her bike and ran towards the elderly woman, stumbling as she went.

‘You’re a sight for sore eyes!’ she said, as the old woman showed her to the basement shelter where scores of elderly people, who had obviously all retired for the night hours ago, were finding somewhere to sit. Dressed in their bedclothes, many of them were coughing and spluttering, their lungs shaken by the activity.

‘Bloody Jerry!’ a little old lady with no teeth, sunken cheeks and purple bags under her eyes spat, as she sat next to Elsie. ‘I’d have their guts for garters if I was fifty years younger. I’m Granny Ginny by the way, or Gigi to my friends. Would you like a Koff Candy?’

‘Pleased to meet you, Gigi,’ said Elsie, gratefully accepting one of the clove-flavoured candies and popping it onto her tongue, taking a moment to catch her breath. She strained to listen for activity outside, imagining the destruction that a Junkers Ju 88 bomber could wreak in a matter of minutes, dumping its bombs like confetti. Confetti. Gosh, how distant talk of weddings in Audrey’s kitchen seemed now.

Chewing on the inside of her lip so hard it bled, Elsie thought of her bicycle abandoned on the grassy verge. The horseshoe that she’d carefully balanced in the basket would be upside down now, the luck running out and spilling onto the road.