Chapter Twenty-Seven
Mandy dealt with the morning’s work on autopilot. As the professional parts of her mind concentrated on dental patients and heart murmurs, the knowledge that she was going to have to talk to Jimmy bubbled underneath. Her heart beat faster whenever she pictured his puzzled, hurt face in the rainstorm. She was glad she was no longer a new graduate. Even with only half her mind on the job, she was able to deal with the routine tasks she performed on an almost daily basis.
Helen was sympathetic, but she encouraged Mandy to go ahead and clear the air. ‘He’ll understand, you just wait and see.’ The nurse was so positive, Mandy almost started to feel optimistic herself.
But as she drove up to Upper Welford Hall in her lunchtime, all the doubts resurfaced. Those fateful few days replayed in her mind. Jimmy had told her he would ring after their dinner at the Fox and Goose. When he hadn’t, instead of calling him, she had waited and worried. She had thought she trusted him, but she hadn’t trusted him enough. When she had seen him with Molly, she had jumped to conclusions. He’d wanted to talk, wanted it so badly he had rushed out in the rain. And she had yelled at him and turned him away.
As she parked her car outside the steading and walked through the courtyard, she barely registered the festive shops and stalls. Was she asking too much of Jimmy? Helen didn’t seem to think so. Nor did Molly. She had to try.
Jimmy was in his workshop, mending a net. For a moment, he didn’t notice Mandy. His strong hands were nimble as he spliced and knotted the ropes. His broad shoulders stretched the black material of the polo neck he was wearing: the same one he had worn that night in the Fox and Goose, when they had gone there together. Mandy could feel her heart beating almost painfully in her chest.
‘Jimmy?’
Hearing her voice, he spun round. If he had looked tired yesterday, today his green eyes seemed exhausted and empty.
‘Mandy.’ His cheek twitched, as if he was about to smile, but then his features settled back into resignation. He looked so sad that Mandy wanted to reach out and hug him, but there were things she needed to say. Steadying herself, she took a deep, shuddering breath.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she began. ‘When you didn’t phone me, I was worried, and then I saw you and Molly and I thought … I thought you were back together, only she told me you weren’t and that she’d passed an exam and she said something awful had happened and I … Oh, I don’t know, I’m just so sorry.’
Jimmy blinked. His expression had changed. There was confusion in his eyes now, diluting the tiredness. The hint of a smile twisted his features. ‘I have no idea what you just said,’ he confessed, ‘but does this mean you’re willing to talk to me?’
Mandy let out a strangled sound: half laugh, half sob. She pressed a hand to her mouth until the moment passed, then straightened up. ‘I’m willing to talk,’ she replied.
Where to begin, she wondered? For the first time that day, her brain began to clear. ‘Molly said someone died?’ She blurted out the most pressing question.
Jimmy’s face creased with pain. Pulling out a chair, he offered it to her and sat down himself. He pushed the unfinished net away to the far side of the bench. ‘I think you saw the man,’ he told her, ‘that day up on the ridge. An older gentleman with a beard?’
Mandy could only vaguely remember, but she nodded. ‘We were up at the high-wire course, you know, where we rescued the deer?’ Mandy nodded again. She could see Jimmy was struggling to speak. He swiped a knuckle across one of his eyes. ‘He got ill really suddenly. Crushing sensation in his chest. Pain in his arm. He was sweating and clammy. I could tell it was something bad.’ His jaw clenched as he glanced down to the floor, then back up to Mandy’s face. ‘I had to decide what to do,’ he told her. ‘There was no way a helicopter could get to us in the trees. It would take ages for an ambulance crew to get there. So I decided we should try and walk out. He died on the way.’
Jimmy’s eyes were on the ground again. Without thinking, Mandy reached out and took his hand. She had to deal with death at work, but not like this. A human being. A terrible situation beyond anyone’s control.
‘There was nothing else you could have done,’ she murmured. ‘If it was so quick, it would have happened anyway.’ She squeezed his fingers as another tear escaped from his eye and fell to the matting on the floor. ‘Nobody could blame you.’
It wasn’t true. She knew it, even as the words left her lips. People who were grieving often looked for someone to hold responsible. It was one of the hardest things she had to face in her chosen career. ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ she insisted.
‘I know.’ Jimmy’s voice was so quiet, it was hard to hear. ‘They told me after that he had a heart condition. He hadn’t declared it on his form, so I couldn’t have taken it into account. There’s still going to be an inquest, though. So many people descended on me. I had the police and someone from his company. I visited his family. I should have called you, but there was so much to do …’ He trailed off, his tired eyes searching her face.
Mandy shook her head. ‘It was my fault,’ she said. ‘When you didn’t get in touch, I should have called you. And then I jumped to all sorts of conclusions. Molly told me last night why you were out together. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen when you came round.’
Jimmy let out a groan. ‘I shouldn’t have come that night,’ he said. His mouth twisted. ‘I came to your door and had no idea what to say.’
Mandy felt tears prick her own eyes. Poor Jimmy. His hand was still in hers. He hadn’t let go. ‘Can we try again, please?’ she ventured. ‘I know I always jump into everything with both feet. But I really am sorry.’
Jimmy found a smile, his green eyes gazing into hers. ‘It’s one of my favourite things about you,’ he admitted. ‘I just need to learn to manage it better. I think I can improve with practice.’
‘Are you sure you still want to?’ Mandy made a rueful face. ‘Practise, I mean?’
The fingers holding hers tightened. He nodded. ‘Definitely.’
The heavy lines around his brow had lifted. The old smile, the one that made her heart swoop, was back in place. He sat back with a sigh, but then he frowned. ‘There was something I wanted to ask you about,’ he said. ‘Some rumour I heard that Hope Meadows had been attacked. Did something happen?’
Mandy had not meant to tell him about her strange battle with an unseen enemy, but once she started, everything came pouring out. As she spoke, some of her fear and loneliness began to lift. Sharing the information with Jimmy was enough to lighten the load.
Jimmy, on the other hand, looked aghast. When he heard about the awful message on the wall in Lamb’s Wood Cottage, Mandy felt his fingers jerk against hers, then grip almost painfully. ‘You won’t go back on your own, will you?’ he asked her, his voice urgent.
Mandy shook her head. ‘I won’t,’ she promised.
‘I’m glad the police are taking it seriously,’ he said, then in frustration, ‘I wish there was something I could do.’
Mandy sighed. ‘Me too. I just don’t know what.’
He looked at her, his eyes serious. ‘You will be very, very careful won’t you?’
‘Of course I will,’ she replied. ‘Trust me, Hope Meadows is battened down like a medieval fortress, thanks to my dad. It’s a miracle I can get in to feed the animals!’
‘I think we should do something to take your mind off it.’ Jimmy’s face brightened. ‘How about dinner tomorrow night. My place. Seven thirty?’
His hand was warm, the fingers strong. The workshop was brightly lit. Mandy caught the scent of sawdust and aftershave. Taking a deep breath, she felt strength and comfort just from being close to him. He had rescued Jack. Perhaps he could rescue her from her troubles, too? ‘That would be wonderful,’ she said.
It turned out to be a brilliant evening, uncomplicated, full of simple good food and shared humour. Jimmy had driven to Ripon and brought back mushroom paté and an asparagus quiche from Booths, which they had eaten with salad. As well as the food, he had bought a bottle of Wiston Estate Rosé 2011, an English sparkling wine. After two glasses, Mandy felt relaxed and more cheerful than she had done for days.
Better still was the text that Mandy received at the end of the meal from Susan Collins.
‘Jack is allowed to come home today. He told me he had found the reindeers’ lair, but then he’d fallen and he doesn’t remember anything after that. I’ve told him he’s never to go hunting without me again. He seems fine thanks to you and Jimmy. Hope to see you at the nativity. Susan.’
She showed it to Jimmy as they sat together in front of the fire, snuggling on the sofa.
‘What does it mean?’ Jimmy regarded the message with his head on one side. ‘About the reindeers’ lair?’
Mandy smiled at his bewildered expression. ‘He was obsessed with Santa’s reindeer,’ she explained. ‘Susan and he were playing a game, trying to find them.’ A thought crossed her mind. ‘I hope Susan isn’t feeling bad. No one could have predicted he’d go looking on his own.’
‘I’m sure Susan is too sensible to be worrying now he’s safe.’ Jimmy’s voice was comforting.
‘Safe, thanks to you.’ Mandy told him.
‘And you.’ Jimmy said with a grin.
The three dogs were snoring in a pile before the blazing fire. Mandy felt like a teenager when he wrapped his arm around her. When he leaned in for a kiss, there were butterflies in her stomach.
‘I’ve got something to show you,’ he said a little later. He pulled away and stood up. He went out into the hall, returning a moment later with something that resembled a small camouflaged box with a number of lenses. ‘It’s a video camera,’ he explained as he sat back down, ‘with night vision.’ He handed it to her and Mandy inspected it, feeling a little puzzled. It was just a camera, right? If Jimmy had taken some film of wildlife, why not show her that? ‘I’ve used it before for otters and badgers,’ Jimmy went on. ‘It’s motion triggered. I’ve two of them and …’ he paused as if for a big announcement … ‘the other one is, at this very moment, attached to a tree up at Lamb’s Wood Cottage.’ He grinned. ‘If there’s anyone hanging about up there, there’s a good chance we might manage to get a picture of him.’
Mandy felt her heart beginning to race. If they filmed the intruder, maybe someone would be able to identify him or her. What a great idea. She thought back to her evening there with Helen. There had been a lot of beer cans. Perhaps he or she had been coming and going quite often. ‘It might work,’ she said, feeling suddenly breathless. Reaching out, she put her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. ‘You really do think of everything,’ she said.