I wasn’t drunk, but I had a one-way ticket to the intersection of Tequila Avenue and Stupidity Boulevard. As the elevator rose toward the sixteenth floor, my head filled with a foggy mist.

“Are you alright?” Santa asked.

“My partner…in crime…had the bright…idea…that three…shot…shots of tequila were better than one.” The words got tangled in my mouth as I tried to spit them out. “I think I’m going to be…trashed…when this stuff kicks in.”

“You’re hammered.” He took a step back. “You’re not a puker, are you?”

I shook my head. The movement caused the elevator to spin. I covered my mouth, fearing I was going to vomit.

“Never.” I almost barfed into my cupped hand as I spoke. “I don’t…puke. Ever. I just get wild…and can’t remember what happened.”

“A black out drunk,” Randy said with a laugh. “That’s awesome.”

“You look like you’re going to puke,” Dick said.

“I feel hot,” I exclaimed. “I just need some air.”

It was a lie. I needed my stomach pumped and something to eat. I hadn’t eaten since noon, and all I’d done since was drink. A chili hotdog and an ice-cold Coke would cure my woes, I was sure of it. Getting my hands on one was the problem

My only options were a glass of wine, a pack of gum, and whatever crumbs had settled into the bottom of my purse from sneaking pastries into the movie theater.

It was a weakness of mine.

I looked at Kaci. “Do you have anything to eat?” I whispered.

“I wish I did. I’m starving.”

“I want a cookie,” I murmured. “And a hotdog.”

“Oh my God.” She covered her mouth. “Are you drunk?”

I shrugged. “I’m pretty close.”

The elevator doors opened. Randy held them, and waved toward the scene of the crime. I stumbled out of the elevator and quickly turned to face the crowd.

Too quickly.

The room started spinning, giving me little choice but to sit down. So, that’s what I did. I spiraled into a pile on the floor.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Santa asked. “Get up.”

His red felt arm reached toward me. I looked at his massive hand and shook my head in denial of his request. “I’m going to sit here for a minute.”

He gave me a shitty look. “You’re trashed.”

I wagged my eyebrows. “Maybe.”

“Are you okay?” Kaci whispered.

I waved toward the empty foyer. “Go have fun, I’ll be fine.”

She took the glass of wine from my hand and carried it to the table across from the elevators. The fact that I had no idea I was still holding it gave affirmation that I was drunker than I thought.

With my bare ass stuck to the cold marble floor and my dress wadded up in my lap, I shuffled in a semi-circle, so I could face the action. Santa sauntered toward our porn studio with Randy at his side. Kaci joined them after setting my wine aside.

As they stood and talked, I filled with jealousy. I blamed my feelings on being drunk and overly sensitive, which was just as much a part of who I was as sneaking cookies into the movie theater.

It seemed every time I got drunk, I began to feel sorry for myself. Blaming everyone around me for causing me to feel whatever I was feeling soon followed. Denial that my actions played any part in the situation was next. Then, I’d black out.

The following day I’d be brought up to speed on what I’d done. Regret would set in, and I’d swear off drinking.

Until the next time.

I’d reached that point. I wanted to blame Kaci. She was blond, pretty, had an awesome set of boobs, and her skin was smooth and tan.

My hair was the color my bronze car turned after I hadn’t washed it for eighteen months.

Dirt.

My hair was the color of dirt. My skin was splotchy, and even though I had yet to bear children, my tits looked like I’d birthed enough of them to man a biddy-basketball team.

I was covered in stretch marks, constantly fought against my natural weight, and never once felt comfortable that I looked the way God intended me to.

Instead of blaming Kaci, I decided to embrace the spirit of giving. I raised my arm as if I was in kindergarten and swung it back and forth in the air.

Kaci was the first to notice. As a true friend, she rushed to my drunken side.

“You ready to join us??” she asked.

“Nope. I want to give you something,” I whispered.

She pressed her hands to her knees and lowered herself down to my level. “What?”

I waved my hand toward the men dismissively. “Fuck ‘em.”

Her eyes thinned. “Huh?”

“I want you to fuck ‘em.” I slung my hand in their direction and almost toppled over in the process. “Both of ‘em.”

“Both of them?” She took a glimpse of them and then looked at me. “You’re with Dick, and I’m trying to get Randy to--”

“I want you to fuck ‘em both,” I said in a series of drunken slurs. “I wanna watch.”

She stood up and put her hands on her hips. “You want to watch me fuck?”

“I want you to eat me out again, but I’m too drunk to get up. I’ll settle to watch you fuck ‘em.” I studied them for a moment, and then met Kaci’s gaze. “Randy’s hot as fuck.”

She smiled. “Just sober up a little bit. I’ll be back in a minute.”

If I had a cookie for every time someone said that to me, I wouldn’t be hungry. That was for sure. Maintaining the spirit of giving, I smiled in return. “Okay.”

The talked, laughed, and told stories. The men sipped their beers and took turns telling tales of riding their Harleys, barhopping in other states, and fighting all who opposed them.

Kaci told them of our company, Mister Shirley, and the Christmas parties of the past. The men laughed as Kaci’s stories and she gasped at theirs. It seemed the three of them were having a pretty good time, and then Kaci carried her things to the table and set them beside my wine.

When she returned, Randy promptly lifted her dress over her head.

I rolled to my side and propped my cheek against my open hand. As he tossed her dress aside, I admired her. Her thighs were thick, and her ass was big, but nothing was out of place. Her monstrous boobs put everything in symmetric proportion.

While Santa unclasped Kaci’s black bra, Randy tugged her black panties down her thighs. She must have taken my advice and talked them into a proper three-way. Two dicks had to be better than one, and although I hadn’t had the pleasure of finding out for myself, I was eager to see what Kaci thought.

As much as I enjoyed Santa’s massive schlong, I desperately wanted to see what Randy was packing. He was clean-cut, handsome, and soft spoken, lacking Dick’s boldness and confidence. My guess was that he was wallowing in cock mediocrity. I watched with wanton eyes as he took off his shirt, knowing the pants would be next.

Chiseled abs and a wide chest were two clear strengths. After kicking his boots to the side, he unbuckled his belt.

I licked my lips in anticipation.

Come on. Let’s see it.

He pushed his jeans down his hips. As the denim cleared the tip of his dick, it sprung free.

Massive, thick, and almost to his knees, it hung between his thighs like the third leg of an easel. I gave a mental golf clap as he finished removing his jeans.

Santa quickly got undressed. After tossing his clothes at his side, he began to stroke his cock. I looked at it and then at Randy’s. The two pieces of massive meat were identical in girth, length, and shape.

They were cock twins.

Kaci lowered herself to her knees in front of Randy. With one of her gorgeous boobs in each hand, she took him into her mouth.

Watching her give him a no-hands blowjob was going to be a Christmas treat. My eyes alternated glances between Dick stroking his stick to Kaci sucking Randy’s massive meat.

Although I’d never taken a tape measure to anyone’s dick, I’d had several men claim to have eight-inchers. It seemed to be a benchmark for men, and they all wanted to claim having one that qualified as being that length.

Some I could have easily disputed, while others I would have never questioned. Not knowing if any of them were truly eight inches long made guessing Dick’s length difficult. But, I knew one thing for sure.

His cock was considerably longer than any other man’s dick I’d ever seen. Miraculously, Randy’s was a duplicate.

We’d managed to encounter the big-dicked bikers.

Kaci bobbed her head back and forth, taking a little more of Randy into her mouth with each stroke. She didn’t suck a dick like she was licking a lollipop, nor did she spend any amount of time kissing the tip or jacking off the shaft.

Instead, she sucked his dick like she was going to be executed if she didn’t get it done in a given timeframe.

She thrust her head against his shaft savagely. Taking it into her mouth looked like punishment. The sound of gagging and coughing echoed throughout the empty space, but nothing seemed to slow her down.

Coughing, spitting, and slobbering as she slurped and sucked her way along the thick shaft continued. And then, in one heaving thrust of her mouth, she engulfed his entire length.

It simply disappeared.

All. Of. It.

Jesus fuck.

I was fascinated by anyone who could deepthroat any man’s cock. As much as most men wished I could, I couldn’t. My inability wasn’t from lack of trying, either. I may not puke from drinking too much, but I’d puke in a minute if someone tried to shove their dick down my throat, and I knew it.

Seeing her do it made my pussy tingle. I slid my hand between my legs and began to play with my clit as I watched her perform her dick sucking magic.

She tore her head away from his cock and gasped for air. After sucking in a few deep breaths, she went right back to the punishment of devouring his cock. As soon as his entire length disappeared into her throat, she’d hold her mouth against his stomach until her head began to shake.

Then, she’d pull away, gasping for air as if she were drowning.

She blindly reached for Santa’s shaft, and quickly found it. While she stroked him to full hardness, she continued her onslaught on Randy’s cock. With one cock in her hand, and one in her pretty little mouth, she stroked both of them in perfect time with the music that played in my drunken head.

I may have been drunk, but my pussy didn’t know it. I was utterly and completely soaked. Taking advantage of the situation, I sloppily fingered myself while I watched, having mini-orgasm after mini-orgasm at their expense. Eventually, Randy pulled his cock free and exhaled a heavy breath.

“Much more of that, and I’m going to come all over you,” he exclaimed. “I want to fuck.”

She released Santa’s cock from her grasp, and made a few gestures with her hands toward each of the men. They gestured in return. Confused – and disappointed that the dick sucking contest ended – I reduced the speed of my finger bang to a dull roar.

My disappointment vanished in a matter of seconds.

Santa got on his back and Kaci mounted him cowgirl style. With her tits in his face and her back arched, she looked up at the sky as she lowered her cute little pussy onto his massive schlong, one inch at a time.

Facing Kaci, Randy placed a foot on either side of Santa’s chest. Kaci took him into her mouth as she bucked her hips against Santa’s thick rod.

The muscles in Randy’s legs flexed, as did the ones in his ass, and his cock soon disappeared down Kaci’s throat. After a few slobbery strokes, he pulled free and then positioned himself behind her.

With Santa’s dick deep in her pussy, Kaci lowered her chest and spread her knees apart as wide as she could.

I stared at the three of them in sheer confusion.

Then, Randy forced the tip of his slobbery cock into Kaci’s ass.

Oh. My. God.

She grimaced in pain, but reached back and tapped his thigh with a reassuring hand. He continued, working his hips back and forth cautiously.

In no time, each of her holes were filled with dick and her tits were swinging wildly in Santa’s face.

I had no idea how she could have taken Randy into her ass without a gallon of lube and an hour’s worth of preparation.

It didn’t matter.

She had officially stolen my dream.

She was taking two cocks at the same time, which was something I’d secretly wanted for a long, long time.

I imagined what she must be feeling, and decided it had to be nothing short of heaven. Frantically, I pounded my fingers in and out of my wet pussy as I watched the two men fuck her, their dicks separated by nothing more than a thin piece of sensitive skin.

I gawked as the two muscle-bound bikers simultaneously worked their lengths in and out of her orifices. She pressed her boobs into Santa’s face, and he responded by sucking and squeezing each of them feverishly.

Watching both men fuck her was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

As they fucked her ass and pussy at the same time, I hammered my fingers and out of my wet twat. Within seconds, an electric jolt shot from my clit to my nipples. My body tensed in its wake. It continued until I was sprawled out on the floor in a pile of drunken flesh, with my body convulsing from the spasms the orgasm brought with it.

I paused and caught my breath.

Still dizzy from the euphoric feeling that enveloped me, I raised myself to my feet. Remarkably, the orgasm did for me what no hotdog or cookie could have.

I wasn’t sober, but I was close enough to walk across the floor.

So, that’s what I did.