Eleven
Adelaide stared at the unopened pregnancy test she’d just put on her bathroom counter. She’d actually bought three more on her way home. They were sitting in the sack at her feet, held in reserve to ensure an accurate reading. Over the past week, she might’ve gone through the motions of getting ready for Christmas, but the possibility of a baby had been constantly at the back of her mind. Although she’d dreamed of becoming a mother, she’d put that hope out of her life when she’d learned Mark was infertile. She’d asked him, over and over again, if they could eventually adopt, but he’d been opposed to it. He’d said there was too much risk involved, that they had a good life and he didn’t want to spoil it.
She’d talked him into it in the end, but she’d gotten the feeling he’d only relented to placate her, to ease some of the tension that’d crept into their marriage. And by then it was too late. A month later she was attending his funeral.
Oddly, she didn’t feel the gut-wrenching loss that normally accompanied any thought of her late husband. Did that mean she was learning to live without him? Or was it the hope of having a child that buoyed her spirits?
If she was pregnant, it would be more than a little ironic that it had happened with Maxim...
“Get this over with,” she said aloud.
The face that looked back at her from the mirror was flushed with excitement, even fear. But it wasn’t until she reached for the box that she knew for sure which way she wanted the test to go.
“Please, God, let me be pregnant,” she murmured. At forty-one, she didn’t think she’d have many more chances.
* * *
Maxim hated the thought of what he had to do, but he didn’t see any alternative. He had no doubt that Harvey was going public. There wasn’t any way to stop him. He wouldn’t have as much to gain but, for Harvey, the notoriety of destroying Fairfax’s reputation and ruining Adelaide’s chances to win the primary would be enough. He’d see it as an opportunity to build his own reputation as unrelenting and successful at all costs. Maxim had to tell Adelaide before she found out from the media.
But...how?
He had no idea. She’d blame him, and she had every right to. If he hadn’t passed that anonymous tip on to his campaign manager, Harvey would be as much in the dark as the rest of the world.
He’d thought about the situation all day, but he still didn’t feel prepared as he drove to her house, which was located in Carmichael, along the American River.
Adelaide owned a big rambler with a sizeable yard and a gorgeous view. Although it was in a neighborhood of other expensive homes, the mature landscaping gave the property a sense of seclusion. He knew because he’d been there before. When Mark was alive, he and Adelaide had hosted a political fundraiser.
Now that he stood on the doorstep next to a huge poinsettia, staring at a Christmas wreath, Maxim found it difficult to make himself knock. But he knew he had no choice.
She answered wearing a snug-fitting pair of jeans, fur-lined boots and a classic beige sweater. Her blue eyes seemed even bigger with her hair pulled back.
Seeing her again reminded him how attractive she was, but he’d only forgotten it in the anxiety of the past few hours. Before that, before talking to Harvey this morning, he’d pictured her almost every time he closed his eyes. It’d been all he could do not to call her.
“Hey.” He gave her a smile he didn’t feel.
“Hi.” Opening the door wider, she let him in.
The inside of Adelaide’s house hadn’t changed. As soon as he stepped over the threshold, Maxim wished he’d picked a different place to meet. He could remember speaking to Mark in this very room, could see their wedding picture hanging on the wall.
He hated how much Adelaide idolized her late husband. He knew it would make the next few minutes all the more painful.
He hated it for other reasons, too...
“Can I get you a drink?” she asked.
“No, thanks.” He couldn’t pretend this was a social visit. Always a believer in doing the hard things first, he planned to jump right in, but she spoke before he could begin.
“Is this about the blonde you sometimes bring to political events?” she asked.
The blonde? He thought back, trying to figure out who she meant. Then he remembered. She must be talking about Liz, a woman he’d met at the gym. They’d dated occasionally, before Liz had gotten engaged to her personal trainer. But it had never been serious. She wasn’t nearly as intelligent, capable or attractive as Adelaide. He’d known that from the beginning, had always been more attracted to the woman across the room than the one on his arm. “No.”
She seemed to relax a little, which surprised him. She’d been worried about Liz?
“Oh. Well...” She motioned to the nearby sofa. “At least sit down.”
Because she’d very likely be throwing him out in the next few seconds, he decided to remain standing. He wished he could touch her, maybe take her in his arms as he broke the news. But that would only make what he was about to say worse.
“That’s okay,” he said. “Listen, I’m sorry to bother you so close to Christmas. You probably have a million things to do, but...”
For some reason, he couldn’t get the words past his lips. He didn’t want her to hear that her husband had cheated on her with another woman, let alone a man. No, a boy.
His mind raced, trying to find some other way to break the news, but she interrupted him by touching his arm.
“Does this have anything to do with the fact that...that we didn’t use any birth control when...well, you know.”
He froze. What was she talking about? He’d assumed she would’ve done a pregnancy test by now and that he would’ve heard if their time together had resulted in a pregnancy. There’d been no communication between them in over a week. “I thought—I mean, you’re not, are you?”
Her chest rose. “Actually—” she offered him a smile so hopeful it made him catch his breath “—I am.”
Maxim felt as if someone had just punched him in the gut. “What’d you say?”
Concern and insecurity entered her eyes, eyes that were normally clear and decisive. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit down?”
“No. You’re pregnant. Isn’t that what you just told me?”
She seemed close to tears, but didn’t cry. She nodded.
Unsure how to respond, he considered what he’d come to say and knew he couldn’t tell her now. He was going to have a baby with this woman. And, oddly enough, he wasn’t as unhappy about it as he’d told himself he’d be. A baby gave him hope that, even with everything working against them, they might be able to create a relationship. He wanted that, wanted her. He just wanted her to love him in return—with all the passion she’d felt for Mark—and wasn’t sure that was possible.
The silence stretched out as he weighed his options.
“Are you terribly upset?” she asked.
She was watching him intently. If he cared about her as much as he was beginning to believe, the way he handled the next few minutes would be very important. “No, I’m not upset.”
Her smile grew more genuine. “Really?”
“Really.” But he wasn’t even remotely willing to let her claim the baby was Mark’s. Would she try to insist? “What would you like to do about it?” he asked.
“I want to keep the baby.”
“I realize that.” He was wondering what she wanted to do about him. “Where do I come into the picture?”
He watched her throat work as she swallowed. “I don’t want you to—to feel forced or...or trapped. I understand that this occurred because of...extenuating circumstances. If you’d prefer not to be part of the child’s life, I’ll handle it on my own. I don’t need any help.” One of her hands moved to cover her abdomen, an instinctively protective gesture.
That didn’t reveal how she felt about him. But the fact that she wanted this baby, his baby, made him inexplicably happy, although he couldn’t imagine why. He wasn’t a young man anymore; he’d turn forty-four in April. He’d thought he was beyond all this. And yet...it felt like a second chance—for both of them. “There’s no way I’d ever support you telling anyone that my baby is Mark’s,” he said.
“We could say I was artificially inseminated and I don’t know who the father is. That would provide the most protection for your career—no breaking news story that you impregnated the enemy.” She laughed but it didn’t sound as indifferent as she’d probably meant it to.
“Do you really think I’m that shallow?” he asked.
She didn’t respond.
“We’re talking about a baby, Adelaide. Our baby. My career doesn’t come before that.”
“That’s how you feel?”
Could this really be happening? With Adelaide? “That’s how I feel.”
“So what do you propose, er, suggest?” she asked.
He stepped closer to see if she’d back off, but she didn’t. “I suggest we keep our options open.”
Her eyes drifted shut as he ran a finger over the contours of one cheek. “What kind of options are we talking about?” she breathed. “Dating?”
Maxim’s pulse began to speed up. He’d never expected this, not from Adelaide, but she seemed...interested in his touch. Even here in the relative warmth of the valley with no snow or danger around them. Even in the house she’d shared with Mark. “Lovers, at least,” he said.
Her eyes opened. “What about marriage?”
He pulled her against him. “I’d want that to be a possibility. What about you?”
“It could definitely be a possibility,” she murmured.
“Good.” Now was when he should tell her. But she was so open to him. For the first time since he’d met her, the remote Adelaide Fairfax was willing to trust him and accept him—as the father of her baby, maybe more.
“I missed you this past week,” he admitted.
“I missed you, too,” she replied and stood on tiptoe to kiss him.
Tell her! his mind raged. But she felt so good in his arms, he couldn’t. Instead of letting go, instead of breaking the bad news, he deepened the kiss.
“I’m glad you’re not upset about the baby,” she whispered against his lips.
He wasn’t upset as long as she wanted him, too. He knew she wouldn’t once she learned what he was responsible for digging up about Mark. But somehow he’d stop her from finding out. He’d get hold of Harvey, do whatever he had to in order to prevent it from going public—even if it meant paying the bastard off. The longer he kissed Adelaide, the more convinced he became that he’d do anything to keep her.
“Make love to me,” she whispered.
A flicker of guilt made him hesitate. That was a line he shouldn’t cross. Not until he’d contacted Harvey and made some sort of arrangement, not until he could feel reasonably secure that she wouldn’t be devastated tomorrow.
“I’d like to, but—” he searched for an acceptable excuse “—I’ll come back. I’ve got some things to do.”
She guided his hand to her breast. “Are you sure it can’t wait?”
Suddenly he couldn’t think of anything important enough to keep them apart. He’d fix the situation so she wouldn’t be hurt, which meant he could stay and make love to her as many times as she wanted him to.
“I guess I can do it later.” He could still see Mark watching them from that damn portrait so he swept her into his arms and carried her into one of the guest rooms. No way would he make love to her in Mark’s bed.
As their clothes came off, he stared down at her and realized that she was exactly the woman he wanted—the woman he’d wanted for years.
“At last,” he said and smiled when she responded so greedily to his touch.