sat in the stands, eating the hot dog and sipping the Coke that Geoffrey had bought for her. He’d sounded a little embarrassed when he’d asked to make a date with her for three o’clock. When she asked about the odd time, he’d confessed that he was competing in a track meet first. She’d lost her mind for a moment and suggested she tag along to watch him race. He’d seemed happy about that, and now here she was.

His first race had gone well and he’d won his heat. He finished third in the second qualifier, which meant he’d be running in two races in the finals. Jordan had been keen on athletics in high school, so she was happy to watch the various competitors across the field. A proud mum sat next to her, screaming encouragement at her two teenagers who were also competing, and Jordan chatted to her between races.

As Geoffrey lined up for his first final, he waved at her sitting in the crowd, and she waved back. His smile was huge, and if he could win on enthusiasm alone, this race would be his. He slipped off his tracksuit pants and warmed up with the other racers. His colours were red, and he’d told her it was because red was rumoured to go faster. She probably laughed a little too much at that, since he’d frowned as he walked away.

They lined up and the gun went off. There was a burst of speed, and then each runner found his stride. Jordan leaned forward, cheering as loudly as the woman next to her, and Geoffrey finished second. He was all smiles and waved again as he cooled down. There was a little while between his races, and he motioned her to come down to the field. She picked her way along the stand and went to join him.

“Hey, second! What a great effort.”

“Thanks, Jordan,” he beamed at her. “I’m glad you don’t seem completely bored. I’ll admit that I was worried about you coming along in case you wanted to go straight home.”

“Not at all—I’m having fun. I’m also sitting next to a woman who can cheer, knit, talk, and eat simultaneously. She’s had me laughing all afternoon.”

“Awesome. I’d better get back, but keep a close eye on me this race. This one, I’m coming first!” He high-fived her and she felt a little silly as she made her way to her seat.

The woman she’d been sitting with was packing up her bag. “Oh, are you leaving?”

“No, I was waiting for you. Your guy and my kid are both in the next race. I got us a seat closer to the front, since some people I know are leaving. Are you coming?” She headed off and Jordan quickly followed.

They settled in the seats, which turned out to be in the front row. Jordan could lean over the concrete and wave to Geoffrey if he searched the stand for her. She didn’t want him to think she’d gone home; he wouldn’t race well if he was worried over where she went.

The competitors were called again, and once again they slipped off their jumpers and long pants as they shook their limbs around to warm up. Some of them practiced the start position, and soon it was time for them to line up on the track. This race was the longest of the day: three full laps of the field were required before a winner would be crowned. No handicaps or staggered starts existed—the first past the finish line was the winner.

Her neighbour, who had since introduced herself as Aracelis, commented on Geoffrey’s red shoes, red shorts, and red shirt. “I guess we’ll see if he can go faster,” Jordan said, sure that others were thinking the same about his colour-coordinated outfit. “Which one is your son?”

She pointed out a tall boy wearing a blue shirt. “That one there, with Vestal printed on the back of his shirt. We named our company after ourselves, so he gets his sponsor name and his own name on his shirt in one go.” She grinned at their ingenuity. “I always wanted a school shirt that said Aracelis Vestal on the back, but my mum said there was no guarantee I’d marry my high school boyfriend. Didn’t I show her?”

As the starting gun went off, the ten men in the race leaped into the field. They sprinted out of the blocks, and each tried to get the upper hand. Jordan cheered with the crowd as they came around the last bend that would have them complete their first lap. Geoffrey was out in front, and she hoped he’d manage to stay there. Their afternoon date could only be enhanced if he managed to have a good result at this track meet.

On the second lap, the group was still close together, and Geoffrey had slipped into second. She watched his face as he focussed on the track and blocked out everyone and everything around him. She screamed as loudly as she could, hoping he might hear her and be motivated to run even faster. Aracelis was screaming right along beside her as her son was coming fourth. They laughed together, once the men had gone past and prepared themselves for the home straight.

They were leaning forward and watching the racers fly across the back of the track when Aracelis pointed at Geoffrey. “What the hell is that?” she shouted with an incredulous laugh.

“What?”

“Look at his pants!” Several people next to them heard her and suddenly everyone was laughing and pointing. Jordan could hardly believe her eyes.

Geoffrey was running as fast as ever. He was still focussed on the track in front of him, not glancing away for a second, determination clear on his face. Unfortunately, his red shorts appeared to have lost a piece of their elastic, or perhaps they’d always been too loose. Either way, Geoffrey’s manhood was jiggling loose as he ran!

Jordan covered her mouth, unsure of whether to laugh or keep cheering for him to win. She went with the cheering, but it was now with an enormous grin on her face as Aracelis and most of the stand laughed and screamed. They were all behind Geoffrey, now, wanting him to take the win, since he was displaying such focus in the face of the escape act that had just occurred from the leg of his shorts. As he tore past them, now in the lead, his penis did a happy bounce or two, and he passed the finish line first.

The crowd went crazy, leaping to their feet and screaming for “the guy in red” as he quickly tucked his treasure inside his pants. The medal presentation ceremony was the best attended of the day as everyone tried to get a photograph of him. They left together some time later, and Jordan swore his face was still as red as his shorts.

 

***

 

“ are you doing home so early?” Luke watched with interest as she banged the front door behind her.

“I’ll tell you in a minute. It’s honestly too good not to share. Before we get to that, though, when did you start calling my apartment home?”

He grinned at her and pointed at Rex, sitting on his chest as usual. “When your dog adopted me that first day.” He ran his hand across his furry companion and laughed as his eyes flicked to the movie he’d started.

“Jeez. I’m going to start charging you rent.”

“Nah. You have to pay rent if you sleep somewhere, and I’ve never gotten near your bed.”

“You and the rest of the male population of the world,” she joked as she fell onto the other couch.

“So, come on, I didn’t expect you home for hours. What happened?”

“Oh, the poor guy. I went to the track with him, and all was going well. He had a bit of success, and I met a nice woman in the crowd. On the last race, though, he had a wardrobe malfunction, and he let it ruin the rest of our afternoon.”

Luke looked confused. “A wardrobe malfunction? I don’t even know what that means for a man.”

“Same as it means for a woman,” she laughed as she put her feet up on the armrest. “Let’s just say that I, along with a few hundred spectators, got a sneak peak of everything Geoffrey has to offer.”

“Oh, wow. You didn’t?”

“Oh, yes, I did. It was hilarious, and he still won his race. He couldn’t get over the embarrassment, though, and he left our meal early. Another opportunity lost, I guess.”

“Maybe. You don’t want anyone who’s overly sensitive, though, do you? I would have laughed my ass off and invited you to check out the same thing in private.”

She threw her cushion at him—not for the first time since he’d taken to lying on her couch. “Yes, you probably would have.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not something I ever think about.”

“Maybe you should,” he said quietly.

She looked over at him to see he was watching her. “We’ve been through this already, Luke. You’re not him. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, right, I keep forgetting about the bike thing. I assume Geoffrey had a car?”

She sighed and turned her attention to the television. “You know he did. I had to get a taxi home, though, since he left in a hurry.”

“You should have called me. I would have come and gotten you.”

She got up from the couch and bashed him with her other cushion. “If you picked me up on that bike, we’d still be on our way home tomorrow. Now stop baiting me and tell me what you want me to cook for dinner.”

 

***

 

“We’re all going to watch Boyd play football on Saturday. Do you and Luke want to come?” Jordan sat on the kitchen bench, watching Luke flick through her television channels.

Does that man ever go anywhere or do anything with anyone besides me? When did we start getting invited places as a couple?

“You’ll have to ask him.”

“Come on, Jordan, I can hear the idiot box going. You never watch it, which means he’s there.” Andrea was way too smart for her.

“Luke, do you want to go to Boyd’s footy game on Saturday?” she called to him.

“Yep, love to. Can I ride with you?”

She nodded at him and rolled her eyes as he made steering wheel signs with his hands. “We’ll be there. What time?”

“Starts at two. See you then.” She hung up and watched as Luke helped himself to a drink from her fridge. She would have been annoyed, except he had stocked the fridge with groceries and drinks yesterday, and she couldn’t very well tell him off for drinking his own drink.

“Want me to cook dinner for us?” he asked as he leaned against the bench.

“I’d love that. I’m tired of eating out all the time.”

He waved his hand in the direction of the lounge room and she slipped off the bench to leave him to it. She’d changed into her pyjamas by the time dinner was ready, and they sat at the table to eat their meal. Rex folded himself over Luke’s feet, and she made faces at him as she chewed. “You’re a traitor, dog. Next, you’ll want to go home with him at night.”

“Oh, he’s already had a trip to my house.”

“When did that happen?”

“I had a few errands to run yesterday, and he was due for a walk. So, I killed two birds with one stone: we did my jobs and he got his walk and a ride in the basket on my bike. He loved every second of it.” He smiled at her as she shook her head.

She couldn’t remember a time she’d seen Luke without that wide smile on his face. She’d gotten used to him being here whenever she got home, and his grin was contagious. It always cheered her up to talk about her latest awful date and what they were going to have for dinner.

“At least one of you loves me, Jordan.”

 

***

 

The football game was a disaster. The day was overcast with heavy rain threatening, and some of the opposing team hadn’t shown up. By half time, the girls were bored and Andrea announced she was going home. The other three women decided to go to Emily’s house to watch scary movies, since she lived three streets away. Jordan offered to drive Luke home first, but he insisted that he would get a lift with one of the other men, and she left feeling slightly guilty.

We’re not a couple. We don’t have to leave together just because we arrived together.

She stopped at the supermarket to get chips and dips to share, and a few minutes later, she was knocking on Emily’s door where Cape Fear was already cued up on the DVD player and ready to start.

“I’ve never seen this movie,” Jordan commented.

“Oh, it’s so good. Terrifying in parts. Robert DeNiro is amazing.”

They put their snacks on the coffee table, pulled the curtains, and settled in to watch. Jordan and Emily curled up on the couch, while Shelly stretched out on cushions on the floor.

The movie had only been playing for twenty minutes when the phone rang. Emily reached for it without taking her eyes from the screen, “Hello? Hello?” She hung up the phone and shrugged at Jordan before returning her attention to the screen.

A few minutes later, the same scenario was replayed. The phone rang and Emily answered, but no one was there. The third time the phone rang, she’d had enough. She paused the movie and insisted Jordan call her home number from her mobile; she answered the phone and could hear Jordan perfectly. They laughed nervously and started the movie again, and Jordan noticed Emily’s fingers digging into the couch, which made her smile.

She’s already seen this movie and she’s still jumpy!

The phone continued to ring with no one on the other end. Shelly tried to laugh it off, but the calls had shaken them. “We’re grown women. Why are we freaking out like this?”

“It’s weird, that’s all. Remember, you guys will go home later, and I’ll have to stay here on my own with the creepy calls.”

“How about I call Boyd?” Shelly checked the time on her phone. “He should be finished playing, by now. I’ll get him to come over, so we can finish this movie without crying like school girls!” They laughed as she made the call, and Emily switched on the light and refilled their drinks. Boyd arrived ten minutes later, and they settled down again with the light off and the movie turned up loud.

As they watched Robert DeNiro’s character slide under a car and strap himself to it, they heard running footsteps outside Emily’s lounge room window. The girls were wide-eyed as Boyd laughed at their nervousness. “Relax, ladies. It’s just kids playing outside.” As the words left his mouth, a fist started pounding loudly on the front door and the girls screamed. “Oh, stuff this. Emily, do you have a baseball bat or a tyre iron?”

“What?” she cried, looking like she might start sobbing. “Why would I have a baseball bat?”

“Just something heavy, in case I need some kind of weapon. Maybe your iron?”

“An iron is not a weapon, Boyd,” Jordan chimed in as she stood in the tiny space looking terrified.

“I’m calling the police!” Shelly had her mobile out, and Boyd put his arm over the screen.

“They’ve gone now.” He looked around the room, trying to calm the nerves of three frantic women. “Come on, it’s more than likely kids.”

“How do you explain the hang-ups, then?”

“Coincidence. Come on, sit down and let’s finish the movie. Nothing will happen while I’m here.”

The three of them laughed nervously, and Emily got up and put her iron on the coffee table as Boyd nodded his approval at her. She sat next to Jordan and looked at her wide-eyed. The remote was aimed at the TV and the movie restarted, but their heart wasn’t in it, anymore. Jordan spent the next thirty minutes nervously glancing at the door as they watched the family on the screen lurch from one terror to the next.

She was almost relaxed again when there was another loud bang on the door. The three women jumped to their feet as Boyd put up his hand to shush them. He picked up the iron and walked silently toward the door. He opened it slowly and peeked through the opening as the door swung open. A loud crack—almost as loud as a gunshot—rang out, and Boyd fell back from the door.

With the front door wide open and Boyd flailing behind the wall, they couldn’t see what was happening. There was a thud, sounds of a scuffle and a moan, and then Shelly started screaming. Her panic was infectious, and with every bang from the doorway, the three women screamed again. Jordan looked around for a weapon of her own as her heart hammered in her chest.

What the hell do we do?

She grabbed Shelly’s phone from where it had fallen to the floor and tried to call the emergency number. She had to dial and cancel several times, however, as her hands were shaking so badly that the phone kept registering the wrong number. As she was trying for the third time, a new sound made its way into her consciousness.

Someone was laughing.

What the…?

The laughter increased, and she recognised Boyd’s voice as he giggled. She lowered the phone and handed it to Shelly, who was crying while being comforted by Emily. She strode forward and shoved the front door closed, so she could look into the hallway. There she saw a sight that took her breath away.

Boyd, Luke, and a man she didn’t know were doubled over, howling with laughter. They were holding each other up and giggling like children, and tears rolled down Luke’s cheeks as he snickered. She stood there, open-mouthed, until Boyd managed to get himself under control enough to speak.

“Oh my God, Jordan, you should have seen your face!” She leaned forward and slapped him over the head with her open hand, which set the three of them off again.

Behind her, Shelly and Emily had finally realised this was a practical joke. Shelly stood in shock, her tear-stained face slowly changing into a mask of fury. “What the fuck, Boyd? What were you thinking? We nearly called the police! What if one of us had hit one of you with the damn iron?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby. Luke told us you’d come here to watch a horror movie, and we couldn’t resist freaking you out.” He struggled to catch his breath as he was overcome by laughter again.

“So the calls were you, too?” Emily asked. Relief that she wouldn’t have to worry about them for the rest of the night showed plainly on her face.

“Yep,” Luke giggled. “You fell right into our trap, too. We had a bet about how long it would be before one of our phones rang.” He looked at Jordan, “I’m a bit offended you wouldn’t call me in your hour of need.”

“Fuck you, Luke. I wouldn’t call you if you were the last man on Earth.” Jordan returned to the couch to collect her handbag.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll never call you again, either, Boyd.” Shelly chimed in with a sniff. “How could you do this?” She turned away, and he realised how upset she was. He was suddenly offering her soothing words, where a minute ago he’d been laughing.

Luke tried the same with Jordan, but she was having none of his apologies. “Get out of my way. I’m going home.”

“Oh, okay.” He turned and high-fived Boyd. “See you, man. I’ve gotta go, too.”

“Oh no you fucking don’t. I’m not taking you with me. You said you’d get a lift, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

“Come on, Jordan, it was a joke.”

“It wasn’t funny. I thought Shelly was going to have a heart attack, and she thought Boyd had been bashed or killed. Now move. I’m leaving.” She turned to Emily, “Call me if you’re scared later and you need to come to my place. Don’t let these idiots stay too long.” Then she swept out the doorway to her car.