Jiggling her knees, Josie impatiently scanned the street. Where was Monica? She couldn't wait anymore. She needed advice!

There had been none of the aloof "morning after" problems this morning. Evan had joined her in the shower, made her breakfast, and promised to be home in time for an early dinner.

Sure, they hadn't talked about the "what if" any further, but it certainly seemed like they'd come to an understanding.

An understanding that would most likely not result in her spending much time in her own bed.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

"Josie! There you are!" Monica rushed along the sidewalk, still wearing her smock from the clinic, where she was still employed because she had the good sense not to date thieves. "I'm so glad you got my message to meet here!"

The message Monica had left yesterday that Josie hadn't checked until this morning, due to the distraction of Evan's lovemaking. "Sorry I didn't call you back last night..."

"No problem. I wanted to talk in person." She nodded toward the café. "Let's go in."

"I'm glad you called. I need to talk to you, too."

Monica rolled her eyes. "You have nothing on me. You won't believe what I have to tell you."

"Can we sit on the patio so I can keep an eye on my bike? I don't have a lock."

No lock wasn't a good idea, but she didn't have the money to pay for it.

Speaking of that...she really needed a job. Whoa. A job. She'd been so caught up in this whole Evan thing she'd totally gone into denial about the rest of her life. School started in eight weeks, and she didn't have a job!

She still had her list of positions from the Sunday paper, but she hadn't popped into any of the clinics yet because she was afraid they'd ask her for a reference. What was she supposed to say? Hi, I worked there for six years and they fired me without a reference? Humiliating, embarrassing, and hopeless.

It took less than two minutes to get seated within viewing distance of her bike. The instant they were seated, Monica opened her mouth to talk, her eyes tense and her eyebrows working overtime. "Josie..."

"I slept with Evan."

Shock. There was no other word to describe the look on her best friend's face. "You did what?"

"Actually, the first time was last week, but he blew me off. And then last night...new milestone. I think it's the start of something." She jiggled her knees nervously under the table. "But it's really bad."

"Bad sex?"

"God, no. Great sex." She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "I like him." There. She'd said it. "I really like him." Whee! It sounded brilliant, didn't it? "I could love him." Love. Terrifying. "What am I going to do? You think that if he falls in love with me by the time Buddy gets back, that he'll change his mind? It's not like I'm going to date Buddy anyway."

"Josie..."

"Or am I being stupid again? Because I don't think that matters. I don't think I can stop. Even my family likes him. Did I tell you that my family thinks we're engaged? And I helped him get a big client. He loved that. I could help him! We could be a team! What do you think? You kept saying I should give men a chance, right? So, what if I do? Wrong? Dumb? Daring? I don't know what to do!" She stopped and took a deep breath. "What's wrong with you?"

Monica had turned a strange shade of white and was looking rather ill. "You think you love Evan?"

"I could love him. There's a difference. We just need time." Time. Where would they be in a month? Five months?

"Run."

Her grin faded. "Run? You think I should run?" But she didn't want to run. "I...I mean...I think I like him. And he might like me...he just needs to deal with the guilt he has over his brother. But it might have a chance." Monica shook her head, and Josie sagged even further. "But..."

"He's back."

"Who?"

"Buddy."

No. It was impossible. "Back where? In prison?"

"Sorry, hon. He's back in town and he's looking for you."

This was so not the time for this news. There was a cannonball in her stomach and her body felt too heavy to move. Open mouth. Move lips. "What are you talking about?"

"He's been to the apartment and to the clinic looking for you, but obviously, you aren't there anymore. He came by three times yesterday. And this morning he was camped out in front of my door, so I had to go out the fire escape so he wouldn't be able to follow me."

"What does he want?" Sick. She felt so sick.

"I have no idea. I slam the door in his face whenever I get the chance."

"I appreciate that." She was starting to feel woozy. Which was natural, of course, since the room was spinning.

"Anything for you." Monica tore a sugar packet and dumped it into her iced tea. "What if he's been born again or something, and is here to give you back everything he took?"

Don't think about Evan. Think about the money, and the waffle iron. "I sincerely doubt that. He's probably used up all my money, and hocked my waffle iron and car for the cash. Thinks he can sweet-talk his way into forgiveness and have me support him. No chance of that." And what if he had brought back everything? What then? Evan would be vindicated.

"This is terrible." She let her head drop to the table and closed her eyes. "What am I going to do?"

"Which is more important? Evan or your money?"

"Technically, I don't have to worry about my money since Evan said he'd pay for my school." She wondered if it would do any good to crawl into her bed for the next ten years and have her mother bring her food on a monthly basis.

"Give me a break. You're not going to take that kind of money from a man."

She wasn't?

"Imagine how indebted you'd be. Forget it. No way."

"But it was a bet." Could she sound any whinier?

Monica set down her iced tea and gave her a stern look. "Get yourself together, woman! Look at you, all hunched up, being pathetic and whiny. What happened to the New Josie?"

"I killed her?"

"Unacceptable! So, you had some great sex with a hot man. This is Evan we're talking about. The man who called you a liar. Has he apologized yet?"

"Um...not really."

"Has he admitted that you were telling the truth?"

"Not in so many words."

"In any words?"

Josie wrinkled her nose. "No." But he was so nice...and she was falling in love with him...

"You're vulnerable. You've never had good sex in your life. Evan offered you security by solving your financial problems and letting you live in his house. Of course you'd convince yourself you were in love with him. But that's why you're not allowed to date for three years! Because you're not in any state to make any decisions about men!"

"I thought you didn't like my three-year plan," she pouted. She was pouting? She wasn't a pouter! Only weak women pouted!

"Obviously, I was wrong. You're a pathetic mess and you don't deserve to have a man right now." Monica glared at a waitress who dared approach, sending her scurrying away. "Buddy stole ninety grand from you. And your car. And your waffle iron. And you're sad he's back because you might lose precious Evan who can't even apologize or commit? Evan who would probably dump you if Buddy came back, even if you were married and pregnant with his child? Get some pride, Josie!" Monica slammed her fist down, her cheeks flushed. "Got it?"

Josie eyed her friend. "Did you take a hit of caffeine or something?"

Monica grinned. "I was pretty convincing, huh? You don't dare be a pathetic loser anymore, do you?"

"I was really being pathetic?"

"More than a little."

Damn. That was no good. Why couldn't she be with a man and still be strong, still be true to her own needs? "Men suck."

"Amen to that." Monica held up her iced tea. "To finally realizing the truth."

"I want my money back."

"There you go."

"And my waffle iron."

"You go girl!"

"And my car."

"Right on!"

"And I won't take Evan's money."

"Yee haw!"

"And if Evan ditches me for Buddy, I'll crawl under a rock for seventeen years and pine away in misery."

Monica set her glass down heavily. "You were supposed to say you don't care if you ever see Evan again because you don't need him or like him and you are an independent rock."

"Back off, Mo. I'm getting there." Josie lifted her chin. She could do this. Get her money back. Be strong if Evan chose Buddy over her. But she wasn't going to completely give up. Maybe she could have it all. If she had more time, surely she could figure something out. "Keep Buddy away from me."

"I'd think you'd at least want to meet with Buddy so you could have the chance to yell at him and let Zeus claw his head for a while."

Josie grinned. "You do have a point."

"Want me to set it up? Then you have control." Monica pursed her lips. "Imagine what he'd think if he found out you're living with Evan? Maybe he'd take off without returning anything."

And maybe he'd never come back, and she and Evan would be together forever.

"Josie."

"What?"

"You really want Evan halfway? Knowing that he's not committed? Knowing he's looking over his shoulder for Buddy all the time? Don't you deserve more than that?"

She eyed her friend. "How do you know what I'm thinking?"

Monica grinned. "Is that a 'Yes, Monica. I agree with you. You're so brilliant I'll always listen to everything you tell me for the rest of my life?'"

"Hardly." Josie took a deep breath. "Set it up."

"Are you going to tell Evan he's back?"

"I don't know." It was probably something she needed to figure out pretty quick. It wasn't like her entire future happiness was riding on the decision or anything.

She narrowed her eyes. What was she doing, giving one man the power to control her future happiness? Weak! Pathetic! Completely unacceptable! She was an Amazon! A pillar of strength! She was going to go sign up for sword fighting classes. It was obviously the only solution.

* * *

Tonight? It was too soon. Too soon, too soon, too soon. She wasn't prepared. How could she face Buddy? She hadn't even decided whether to tell Evan she was going. It had only been three hours since she'd even found out Buddy was back. Way too soon for her slow-witted brain to come to any useful conclusions whatsoever.

"What's wrong with you?" Evan was sitting across from her at the dinner table, having made delicious salmon on the grill. The man could cook. He was a god.

Waahh.

She'd bet a platter of pancakes and a bucket of maple syrup that she'd feel better if she cried. Too bad Amazons don't cry.

"Josie? What's wrong?"

She looked up from her broccoli and tried to smile. "Nothing. Why?"

"You haven't insulted me since I got home from work today. What's up?"

It figured the man had to be perceptive. "I..." Nope. She couldn't tell him. But it wasn't because she was selfish. It was because she was protecting him from being disappointed by his brother again. First, she'd find out Buddy's agenda. Then she'd decide whether to tell Evan. She was so altruistic she should've been a nun. "I haven't insulted you because you're great in the sack and I'm hoping to get another chance at your hot bod tonight."

"Josie Lynn Harper, what kind of filth is coming out of your mouth? As your mother, I just might have to take you upstairs and wash your mouth out with soap."

Oh, great. This was all she needed. She looked over her shoulder. Yep. Nightmare was real. Her mom was marching into the dining room carrying three grocery bags. "What are you doing here?"

"Keeping up with the boys." She jerked her head toward the kitchen. "I'll just go ahead and start cooking. You two don't bother to get up."

"Boys? What boys?"

The slam of the front door and a surge of raucous male voices gave her the answer she didn't want.

"Your brothers are here, darling." The door swung shut behind her mom.

As the ominous thud of brotherly aggravation came down the hall, Josie eyed Evan, who was looking much too pleased. "Did you invite them so you wouldn't have to face me? Are you already having second thoughts?"

"Didn't invite them." He held up his hand and got drive by high-fives as her brothers marched through.

In between the "hey, dude" and "whassup," she heard a reference to the Red Sox. "Game tonight?"

"Guess so," Evan said.

Her brothers disappeared into the family room, where Evan had a wastefully large television.

"He's got the biggest TV set," came the yelled explanation.

"Great." So this is what it was like when her family liked her man. Not that Evan was her man, but they thought he was. And Evan was looking really pleased about it. "You want to go in there with them instead of eating out here?"

He shrugged, but his eyes lit up. "If you don't mind?"

Josie pursed her lips. "You don't even like the Red Sox. I've never even seen you turn on the television."

"Yeah, but your brothers make it fun." A shout erupted from the living room, and one of her brothers yelled for Evan.

"Is it okay?" He was half standing.

Suddenly she had a very bad feeling. "Before you go, answer one question for me."

He sat back down. "What's up?"

"Even though the Buddy issue still lingers, and you're still wrought with guilt over sleeping with the woman your brother loves, you seem quite okay with letting things continue between us for a while."

He shrugged. "I guess."

"Is it because of me, or because you want my family?"

His face immediately closed off. "Don't talk about my family."

"I'm not. I'm talking about mine. Is that why you want me? For my family?" A deep, ugly pain started in her abdomen and began infecting outward. "Evan?" It was like Buddy all over again. Being used. Like Tom. Not being loved. Or valued.

But Evan had a totally shocked look on his face, as if he'd never even considered her words.

Until she'd said them.

"No." But he didn't sound convinced. "I don't need family."

"Who are you kidding? You're obsessed with family." Josie flung her arm out. "That's why you have this huge house, isn't it? Because you want to fill it with people who are related to you. And I fit, don't I? Whether I marry Buddy or you, either way, you'll get my family. Right?"

Evan jumped to his feet. "Listen, Josie, what happened between you and me has nothing to do with your family. You're the one who doesn't even want a relationship. Sex only, remember?"

"So you don't care about me?" I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

He cursed. "Of course I care about you. But you're making this way more complicated than it is. I don't understand."

"Forget it." She grabbed her purse. "I have to go anyway."

"Where?" He caught her arm. "I thought we were going to stay here tonight."

"With my brothers and my mom? How romantic." She fought the urge to collapse into his arms like a weak female and beg him to love her and to take care of her. "Tell me this: if Buddy didn't exist, and my family didn't exist, and I fell in love with you, what would you do?"

His face darkened and he dropped his hand from her arm. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I want to know." Duh.

"But it doesn't matter what would happen then, because it's not the way it is."

"I know that. But I want to know anyway." Typical stupid man. Didn't he realize this was her way of finding out whether he could love her for who she was? Obviously not. Or maybe he did realize it and didn't want to answer. "Answer the question."

He folded his arms across his chest. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because Buddy exists, and there's no point in pretending he doesn't."

Damn Buddy. Damn her family. Damn Tom for messing her up.

Everyone was responsible for messing up her life.

Oh, fine.

She was responsible too. Because she was a wimp who couldn't manage to keep her strength when men were around.

Obviously, it was time for her to take control. Buddy Dorsett, watch your back. I'm coming to get you.

"Monica's picking me up. I'm outta here. Have a good night. And try not to promise my mom that you'll impregnate me too. Because I won't have it." She flung her hair out of her face, and managed not to squawk at the crick in her neck. Her hair was way too short for flinging. "See you later."

He caught her arm. "Stay here tonight. Stay with me."

Don't succumb, Josie. She lifted her chin. "You don't own me."

"Never said I did."

She scowled. "You're so difficult to argue with."

"I'm not a big fan of arguments. I'd rather have a candid discussion and get resolution."

"Mr. Efficiency, huh?" She slung her purse over her shoulder. "What if there isn't an efficient resolution? What if it's a complicated mess where not everyone can have what they want? What do you do then?"

"I don't let that happen."

"What if you can't control it?" What exactly had been the appeal of a tough man who didn't kowtow to anyone? She was having a bit of difficulty recalling right at this moment.

"Not an option."

"Typical response." She could be like that. Falling in love with Evan. Not an option. Letting Buddy ruin her life. Not an option. Being pathetic and wimpy. Not an option. She was taking control, starting now.

Granted, she'd "taken control" more than a few times and never managed to keep it up, but she was doing it this time. "Don't wait up."

She managed not to look back once.

Was she a tough chick or what?