CHAPTER ELEVEN

Renner

Another anxiety attack. This time it was one hundred percent his fault. His twisted stomach wouldn’t let him forget it.

Cassie had slid down the wall, her body completely closed off. Her eyes glazed over, and everything about her turned rigid.

He called her name, lifted her stiff form to the couch and began the routine of opening her up. Her hands, her arms, her jaw. All the while, swallowing the debilitating embarrassment of getting caught by her former husband’s picture.

Renner had never done that—felt up a woman in his sleep. Started something his body desperately wanted to finish, without his mind knowing. He hadn’t even been fully awake and aware of what was happening, until Cassie had scraped her fingers down his scalp. That woke up him, and sent his dick into overdrive. It’d been impossible to take his eyes off her.

She was so alive. So passionate. So heartbreakingly beautiful.

So much better than the other dreams—nightmares—that had plagued him for months.

Dammit, he’d never wanted a woman more.

Then it hit him. Was she even awake? Was she dreaming? Imagining her husband, only to realize he wasn’t Kyle?

He shook his head. Her eyes had been open at that point, in the middle of their almost-consummation, staring back at him. She had to have known.

This was about the picture frame.

Slowly, Cassie’s body relaxed, and her eyes registered him sitting next to her.

“Hey there.” It was the only thing he could think of to say.

So stupid.

“Where’s Landon?” Her voice was airy, and exhausted.

“Still sleeping.”

Cassie sat up and flexed her fingers. Then she dragged her hair away from her face. Her gaze landed on everything in the room, except Renner.

He swallowed down the disappointment, more painful than he’d expected.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“Almost four a.m.”

“How long…this time?” She still refused to look at him, now hugging herself and staring at the carpet.

“Just a minute.” His erection still raged, in full retaliation against his mind. “Have you talked to someone about medication? Anti-anxiety or something? You know, with a professional?”

“You mean, like you?” Her voice cut him hard.

I thought we’d already crumbled those stereotypes.

She winced. “Sorry. I’m not angry at you.”

“You’re beating yourself up. But you don’t have to.”

Cassie sighed, and he could feel her pulse accelerate just sitting beside her. The whole room tensed again. She turned her head toward him, but she still didn’t look him in the eyes. Her own turned glassy. “You need to go,” she whispered.

His heart squeezed in on itself. Renner reached for her hand, the one that’d been gripping her thigh. She pulled away, and his heart shredded. “Are you sure you’re not going to have another panic attack?”

“Thank you for everything, Renner. You don’t know how much what you’ve done has meant to me.” She stood and went to the hallway. “But this is over.”

He tightened his jaw. “You’re seriously going to torture yourself over being attracted to another man?”

Cassie didn’t respond. She didn’t need to. She was locking herself up, and shutting down.

After he’d opened her up to the possibility of something else. Something new.

The connection between them had been unmistakable. At least, in his mind. They’d sparked. To the point where everything had become clear, and the woman standing in front of him, this incredibly strong, resilient, loyal, hot-as-hell woman was the only one Renner could see himself wanting.

“Please, tell me you felt it.” His voice was barely more than a murmur. Because any louder, and she might shut down completely. “Tell me that connection was there for you. Because I’ve never felt that instant click before with anyone.”

And you’re about to rip it away from me.

She swallowed, and her cheek muscles flexed. Like she was biting back a response, hard.

His shoulders sagged. She wasn’t ready. Letting go of her husband’s memory wasn’t something she could do. He sighed. More as a way to keep from dissolving at her feet.

Renner stood, grabbed his keys from the counter and strode past her to the front door.

Her silence cinched his heart.

He opened the door, but stopped at the darkened, puddled walkway. He closed the door and turned to her.

Her face lifted to his, her eyes glassy.

“I’m just going to say it, because I know I’ll never get the chance again. We’ve only known each other, what, three days? But I’ve fallen in love with you, Cassie.”

Her eyes widened, just as a tear fell to her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, and still didn’t respond.

Renner shrugged. There was no other explanation. “I’ve never been more sure of my feelings than right now. And it’s terrifying. I have no clue if you feel the same way, but none of that matters, does it? Because I met you too late.”

Cassie started to tremble.

He desperately wanted to walk over and hold her against him. Breathe in her sweet scent, and show her a life full of color, laughter and love. But he glued his feet to the floor. “In another time, another life, I would’ve asked you out to dinner. And then more.” Her pained smile tore his heart further. Because he meant every word. “I want more with you. Much more. But you can’t even admit you want someone else. That it’s okay to want someone else. Not until you’re ready to let him go.”

“Renner,” she whispered.

He glanced over his shoulder.

Her cheeks were wet, and she took a shaky breath. “You met me too soon.”

A lump caught in his throat. “Let me know when you’re ready to start that new life. If you want me.”