CHAPTER TEN

Cassie

Sleeping in Renner’s arms on the couch confirmed the feelings she’d been swallowing. He had a magical way of settling her. Pulling together her frazzled nerves, and waking her up from her depressive spiral. He forced her to see the colors in life.

There was no denying it.

Breathing him in throughout the night was like an opiate. More than just taking the edge off—he chased the storms away.

Two things bothered her.

First, was it Renner who made her feel like this, or just someone filling a space? A need. A body to cushion herself against, to take the place of Kyle, even only temporarily. If that were even possible.

Second, any kind of relationship was too soon. Deep in the back of her mind, a nagging voice wouldn’t shut up.

Too soon.

Give yourself time to grieve.

Yet the human spirit could only take so much darkness before the internal lantern would snuff out. Every now and then, the light had to be refueled. Cassie had been crawling through a black tunnel the last six months, running on residual light gained from energy drinks and late night memories.

At some point, the rain had started again and pelted the roof and windows. She cuddled deeper into his arms, his body warm and strong against hers. The rain lulled her to a drowsy doze. Until Renner’s hard-on pushed against her bottom. She shifted, but it only lengthened and grew harder. And warmer.

He inhaled, slow and deep, and pressed into her.

Is he still asleep?

Then his arms wrapped around her, hugging her, with one large palm covering her breast. Even through her clothes, her skin flamed.

A hot swirl pooled low in her gut, then moved to between her thighs.

Even in his sleep, he knows how to arouse a woman.

“Renner?” she whispered.

He didn’t answer.

Cassie pressed her lips together, and tried to turn in his arms, to shimmy out from underneath him. When she made it to her back, his grip tightened and he groaned, low and sultry in her ear. The sound caressed her skin.

Renner burrowed his lips against her temple, laying soft, sleepy kisses on her skin. Her heart fluttered.

She turned her head to say something, to wake him. His mouth instantly covered hers. His tongue grazed along her upper lip, then suckled it between his teeth. Along with sucking the gasp from her lungs.

Oh God, the taste of him. Sweet, spicy, and ridiculously hot. Her mouth involuntarily opened for him. Before she knew it, she was kissing him back with everything she had. Her leg wrapped around his knee, and her hand caressed up his neck. His short hair felt like feathers under her fingertips.

She had no idea she’d wanted him this bad.

From her racing heartbeat, fiery cheeks, and throbbing center, clearly her body screamed for it. At this point, her subconscious didn’t care if he was still asleep, and acting out a dream.

She certainly was.

His weight shifted over her, his body like a heavy, comforting blanket. The rigid length between his legs pressed against the junction of her thighs.

Everything pulsed. Her head, her heart, and especially her sex. His hand slipped under buttocks, and he squeezed, pulling her harder into his frame.

Simultaneously, his tongue dived deeper into her mouth, licking every crevice. Cassie moaned against him, and dragged her fingernails down his scalp.

Renner growled, the vibrations echoing down her throat. They resonated through her chest.

Lightning flashed, but thunder didn’t register in her mind. All she could hear was his moan and the adrenaline rushing her ears. Her body sparked, as if it could feel color. The hot reds, intense pinks, and the delicious hazel of his eyes.

His eyes. They were open now. Staring down into her, watching her body react. Writhing and squirming, begging for more.

She reached down and grabbed a handful of his ass, grinding his pelvis into hers.

His tongue grazed along her cheek to her ear, and devoted his expert attention to her lobe. Renner’s hot breath on her neck swirled the insane colors over her head in tandem with more lightning, dancing across the ceiling.

Her head fell to the side, and she bit her lip.

His hand moved up, underneath her shirt and settled over her breast. His palm massaged the straining peaks against her bra.

Everything was so intense, so dizzying, she nearly burst right then.

Another streak of lightning illuminated the room.

Looking back at her from the picture frame on the coffee table was Kyle’s face. Where her son had left it, next to the plate of blueberry muffin crumbs.

Cassie gasped. She nearly choked on a half-scream.

Renner’s head shot up, and he lifted his weight from her body. “Did I hurt you?”

Shame stole the power from her voice, so she shook her head. The image of her dead husband’s face staring at her while she nearly lost control with another man might as well have been a truck load of ice burying her alive.

Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it.

Cassie shoved herself up from the couch, pushing Renner off and onto the cushions. Anything to get out from underneath him. Away from the incriminating scene. She covered her face as she escaped to the corner of the room.

“What’s wrong?” His cheeks flushed with arousal. He stood from the couch, sporting a thick erection pushing against his jeans.

One she’d encouraged. One she’d nearly given in to.

Humiliation clawed at her throat, swallowing her words. Until she didn’t have to say anything, because he looked down at the photo on the table.

“Oh shit,” Renner whispered.

The ultimate ‘oh shit.’ Cassie hugged herself, her skin now covered in goosebumps, and her body shaking.

“It’s okay, Cassie,” he cooed. He grabbed the frame and moved it to the kitchen, setting it face down on the counter. Then he switched on the overhead lights.

“Turn them off,” she squeaked. “Turn off the lights!” She couldn’t bear to see his face. To be seen like this, on the wake of a disrespectful act.

“It’s just a picture.” His voice was soft, an attempt at soothing, but it was the last thing she felt. “He’s not here.”

“Yes, he is,” she croaked. “He was just here. I swear I felt him.”

The grimace that flashed on Renner’s face was a mixture of disgust and agony. “That was me. You felt me.”

“You need to go.” Cassie croaked, and her throat closed in on itself.

He shook his head. “Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”

“Go!” she breathed. More like wheezed. Then, it was hard to inhale, and her chest caved in on itself. Her fists clenched, and her vision narrowed to a dark tunnel.

She pushed her back against the wall, to brace herself.

Slowly, Renner’s image slid, and she looked up at him from the floor.

His lips moved, but she couldn’t hear a thing.