February 24^th, 2017. 8:45am.

“I find it interesting she was released after Devin was let go.” Kiernan’s voice crackled a bit due to the quality of the speaker, but Alex and Greg could hear. Alex nodded, running a hand through her hair with a sigh.

“She’s still not talking,” Alex said ruefully. It’d been a few weeks now since Tally had been found, and they’d gotten nowhere in their investigation. Forensics had finished processing the scene where Tally had been found and any trail left behind, just in case Tally had left some crucial evidence while running. With Tally not talking, there wasn’t much new to go on. Instead they’d gone over their notes, theorized. Dad had offered to do a conference call, help bounce ideas.

“What about the ER woman?” Greg spoke up from where he sat to Alex’s left, his attention on the large casefile in front of him. He had all the records from the three years the investigation had gone on. It was like a novel in its own right, but one they knew backwards and forwards. “Susan, or whatever her name was.” He pulled out a few sheets, unclipped one to take the photo off of it.

“The timing could be suspicious for that, too,” Alex admitted. She was standing, pacing, unable to sit still. Tally was talking to her child psychologist in the next room. They’d brought her to the station, to see if she remembered anything. Katy was standing not far away, hidden behind the two-way glass, watching her little girl and unable to do anything.

Tally hadn’t screamed when she had woken up with Katy beside her bed, but the tension had been obvious in her body and her heart rate had spiked. Katy had been asked to leave, and Alex had gone with her. She had held Katy when she cried, broken, on the way to the car. Murmured soothing words, stroked her hair. Someone could have walked by and spotted them, but Alex didn’t care.

For now, Katy was reduced to watching and waiting. They didn’t want to send Tally home with Katy until her panicked reaction had passed, and who knew how long that would be. Alex swallowed through the lump in her throat, turning her attention back to what they were talking about.

“Has she said anything?” Dad asked, and there was a doubtful quality to his voice.

Alex shook her head. “Not a word,” she said. “The psychologist is getting her to identify some basic objects, in written form, so she’s had some education while she was captive. And she’s unharmed, even though she’s vitamin deficient.”

“What sort of objects?” Dad asked.

Greg flipped to the requisite report. “Pets, mostly. She knows her animals. She knows some basic addition and subtraction, too.”

“Talk to Katy and find out how much she knew before she was kidnapped,” Dad suggested.

Alex nodded, adding that to her mental to-do list. “Did we look over Devin’s GPS locator?”

There was an angry twist to Greg’s lips. “His car hasn’t done much.”

“You think he has a second one?” Alex winced.

Greg nodded. “We’re going to get a warrant to put one on Susan’s, too, if we can.” It still required time and resources Alex wasn’t entirely certain should be allocated that way, but it was a way to rule them in or out.

“I’ll go put someone on it,” Greg said, nodding to them. “Anything else?”

“Any news on the leak?” Alex asked.

“Leak?” Dad sounded faintly alarmed. Apparently he hadn’t been following everything about the case.

“The photos and Tally’s rescue were leaked to the press,” Greg explained. “Logically it’s someone on this task force.” His words were gritted, and Alex winced in sympathy. No one wanted to think one of theirs was corrupt, or even leaking information deliberately.

“We’ve got two officers on it.” Alex tried to drag up their names. It was that rookie officer and another, a woman whose face she couldn’t quite picture. “They’ve traced the original to Arizona Sun, but can’t get anyone to talk to them there.”

Dad made a thoughtful noise.

“We’ll keep you posted,” Greg promised. “If only so we can use your FBI resources.” There was a teasing edge to his voice.

“That’s what my daughter’s for,” Dad retorted.

Alex smiled.

“Anything else?” Greg asked, looking from Alex to the phone.

“Not at the moment,” Dad said, and Alex echoed this.

Greg nodded and then left the room, leaving Alex by herself with her Dad on speakerphone. Alex sank into a chair, her head in her hands, and guilt weighing heavily on her.

“Alex?” Dad sounded kind. He could tell something was wrong, although whether it was from her silence or her uncharacteristic sigh, Alex didn’t know.

“I made a mistake,” Alex said, her voice whisper-soft.

Dad was silent for a few seconds. Had he heard her? Was he pretending he didn’t? “What sort of mistake?”

Alex swallowed thickly, prickles of guilt burning at the corner of her eyes. She shoved them back. “Got too close.”

Dad made a satisfied noise, and Alex narrowed her eyes at the phone.

“This was what you were hoping for, wasn’t it?” Alex let out a small groan, put her head in her hands.

“All you can do is make up for it by doing the best you can.” Dad sounded far too smug, and Alex briefly contemplated hanging up on him in a juvenile display of sulking. But she was a grown-up and an FBI agent. She was better than that. Or something. “No one can choose when they fall in love.”

“I’m not in –“

“I’ll leave that up to you,” Dad interrupted. “But think on it, would you?”

Alex bit her lip, worried at it with her teeth. Finally she sat back up. “Katy is a good person.”

“She is,” Dad agreed. “She deserves someone like you.”

Alex made a face, but didn’t answer.

“You’re still not over your last case, are you?” There was a kindness in his voice.

Alex’s breath caught in her throat and she hid her eyes with her hand, resting her head that suddenly felt too heavy. “Yeah.” There was no point in lying. He knew the truth, would be able to tell it anyway.

“It’s normal,” Dad said. “But you don’t have to deal with it alone.”

“I don’t know if I want to do this any more.” Alex leaned back in her chair, speaking the truth she’d been hiding even from herself. She loved her CARD team, was passionate about what she did, but she hadn’t anticipated just how much of a personal toll it was going to take. She didn’t know if she could take another case like her last one. And with Katy in the picture, plus Tally, the little girl that Alex cared for without even knowing…

“I made it to retirement as a CARD team agent,” Dad said, his voice kind. “But there are other options.”

“I remember.” It wasn’t bitterness in Alex’s voice, not entirely, but it was laced with the memory of growing up with a Dad that could be called away at any time. It helped that she could brag about her father the FBI agent, but it didn’t take away how much it’d hurt to grow up without him, in the care of various family members and friends. But seeing Katy and Tally, how much Katy cared, made Alex think about her future.

She didn’t want to find someone and live a life where she’d constantly be dragged away. There were units she could find where she’d be stationary, or at least travel less. She didn’t want to have a family and then leave them behind.

“Just think about it,” Dad said.

Alex nodded mutely. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Any time, love.” The phone line clicked off, leaving Alex sitting there, staring at the far wall. It wasn’t like this thing with Katy was serious, really. It couldn’t be. Conflicts of interest aside, her missing child had just returned home, for God’s sake.

But there was the way they’d sat at the hospital, Katy leaning into her touch instead of pulling away, almost as if she was seeking reassurance from Alex specifically. Alex knew that Katy had close friends, why was she not reaching out to them? Why had she picked Alex over them?

She shoved the thoughts out of her mind, locked them down for later contemplation. No matter what came out of it, she had a case to solve. Later — later she and Katy could have a talk over what would happen. Maybe Alex was imagining things and there was nothing between them.

And maybe the moon was made of cheese, but whatever. Denial had served her well for a long time, it wasn’t like she was going to stop now.

Alex pushed open the door out of the conference room and headed down the small hallway into the observation room overlooking where the psychologist was sitting with Tally. There was a child’s advocate in there, monitoring the questions. Even with Katy there, Tally had an advocate specifically for her interests. It was the safest option in cases like this.

Katy’s eyes lifted to look at her, and the barest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips before she turned her attention back to Tally. Alex followed her gaze. Tally was sitting at a small desk, Lisa sitting opposite her, hands clasped and her body kind.

Tally wasn’t looking at her or the advocate, instead focusing on the piece of paper in front of her. She was holding a marker tightly in her hand, almost like a child who hadn’t yet figured out how to hold a writing object the right way, and was drawing geometric shapes and stick figures before scratching them out.

“What are you drawing?” Lisa asked gently. She was dressed in a white cardigan sweater and dark jeans. Professional, but not intimidating.

Tally’s hand stopped mid-movement, and then continued, drawing a long streak of black marker down to the bottom of the page. She placed the black marker down on the table and picked up another one. This one was brown. She drew a circle, drew a stick body. Then picked up the paper and crumpled it viciously, her face blank the entire time.

Alex could feel Katy tense up next to her, hear the way her breath hitched as if she was about to cry. She reached up to wrap an arm around her shoulder, hesitated, the movement aborted midway.

“It’s okay.” Katy’s voice was almost a whisper.

Alex stood there, not sure what she meant by that. There was a whole host of things that could be okay. Was it Tally? Was it what Alex had been about to do?

“Thanks.” Katy stepped back slightly, into Alex’s arm, and Alex wrapped it around her. Katy slid an arm around her waist, holding her close. “I…” The words trailed off.

Alex looked at her, feeling the way Katy’s body fit snugly against hers. It was highly inappropriate, it was wrong. Katy’s kidnapped child was sitting less than fifteen feet away, yet Alex was reaching out to Katy and Katy was reaching back.

“Let me know if you change your mind.” Alex squeezed her shoulder, and Katy leaned her head towards hers. It was strangely nice, in a way. Alex couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in a relationship or even gone on a date.

“I will.” Katy turned her attention back to the room where Tally was sitting. “I hope she comes home soon.”

“Me too,” Alex said softly.

“Will you still be here?” Katy turned to look at her, and the vulnerability of the question in her eyes almost bowled Alex over.

Alex opened her mouth to say something, then closed it abruptly. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. She looked away from Katy. Not out of shame, but out of uncertainty. Part of her was so very aware of how little they actually knew each other, how so much had happened in such a short time.

“Stay local for a while.” Katy looked at Alex out of the corner of her eyes. “Even if you don’t stay with me. I’m on leave for at least a month, probably more.”

Alex opened her mouth to protest, then closed it. She swallowed, her throat dry, then nodded. “I’ll try.” She’d need to get clearance, but she was quite certain her supervisor would be pleased he wouldn’t need to push her onto medical leave again. She would need psychological clearance before she’d be allowed back on an active CARD team. Right now, she wasn’t certain she’d get it.

Katy smiled at her, and then turned her attention back to Tally.

Alex’s stomach churned, and she tried to process everything her mind was saying. Maybe Katy’s attachment was just a side effect of how closely they’d worked together. After all, that was what had led to them having sex in the first place. Surely, after Tally returned home and her life went back to normal, she wouldn’t need Alex anymore.

And Alex could live with that, she thought. She’d stay behind for a while, help her re-establish her life, and then when Katy finally moved on, Alex could go back to work.

God, she was a masochist. Maybe her feelings were from how close they’d been, too.

But she’d been this close to other parents before, and never gotten this close. Then again, most of them weren’t single and gay, so there was that to factor in.

Fuck. Alex wanted to bang her head against the nearest hard surface until she knocked herself out and didn’t have to think. But she stood where she was, Katy tucked against her side. Lisa was quiet now on the other side of the glass, merely watching Tally and offering her a new piece of paper when the girl reached for it.

“Can you draw me your house?” Lisa asked, her light eyes soft.

Tally looked up at her, made eye contact. It was the first time Alex had seen her do that since she had been found, and it sent prickles of something down her spine. Tally’s eyes were — she wasn’t sure what to call them. Blank was the easiest word, but underneath them Alex could see hints of fear and a whole lot of confusion.

Whoever had taken her, had screwed with her mind. And Alex was never going to forgive them.