“Jared, is there a reason the entire contents of your side of the closet is on the bed?” Murphy asked.

I stood at the foot of it, pinching my bottom lip while looking from one shirt to the other. “Would you say this will be a casual Christmas Eve, or a dressy one?” I asked.

“Casual or dressy? When did you ever care about that?” she asked, shoving one of the shirts out of the way so she could sit.

“Okay, grunge is out,” I said, grabbing the shirt and putting it away. “That leaves me with ugly sweater, casual, relaxed casual, and relaxed rocker casual.”

She laughed. “Neurotic much? It’s Christmas Eve. Wear whatever the spirit of Christmas tells you to.”

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “A Santa hat and red bow it is. You can unwrap me later.”

She shook her head. “Whatever floats your boat.”

“You don’t mean that,” I said, challenging her.

“If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t have said it,” she said, lifting the sweater with a creepy-looking elf on it. “Here, put this away. It’s freaking me out. Where the hell did you get that anyway?”

“Can’t remember, but it’s from one of those stores at the mall. I’ll tell you why you don’t mean it. Because I know you, Skylar Murphy. If I came downstairs dressed in just a hat and a bow, you’d freak out on my ass and rush me back up the stairs.”

“Pfft. And I know you, Jared Jackson. You’re all talk. Most of the time, you’re just fishing for a reaction,” she said as she watched me hang the sweater up.

I put my hand out, and she tossed me another one of the shirts. “We could try the matching thing. I’ll let you wear three bows, though.”

She smirked at me and said, “It would serve you right if I agreed to that.”

“But you won’t. And why? Because you don’t like to make a spectacle of yourself. And you really don’t like it when I make one of myself,” I said, smirking when her eyes squinted.

“I’m not going to argue with you,” she said, tossing me another shirt.

I hung it up, trying my hardest to keep from smiling. “Why? It’s so much fun. Plus, if we argue, we get to make up later.”

“Ass. Here,” she said, tossing another one my way.

“Yeah, but you love me anyway,” I said, closing the closet once I was done.

“You still have another shirt to put up,” she said, holding it out to me.

“Nope, that’s the one I’m going to wear,” I said, taking it from her. I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

She got this look on her face that was a cross between aggravation and humor. “Why?”

“Because you put things in order, even when you don’t realize you’re doing it. You started with your least favorite shirt and kept handing them to me until there was only one left,” I answered, moving over to the dresser and pulling out two pairs of jeans. I held them up for her inspection. Her finger automatically went to the pair in my right hand. “It’s so ingrained in you that you can’t help yourself.”

Her hand dropped. “Because I handed you random shirts until there was only one left? You made the final decision to wear it. You could have gone back to your closet and chose whatever you wanted. And FYI, black jeans look better with a burgundy shirt than light blue ones.”

“I could have, but I didn’t. And do you know why?” I asked, tossing the jeans on the bed before opening another drawer.

“You’re just going to say I’m wrong, so why don’t you save us the trouble and tell me?” she said, huffing.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on Christmas Eve, Murph,” I said, digging through my sock drawer.

“If you’d just put them away in pairs, it would be a whole lot easier to find what you’re looking for,” she grumbled.

“Do you know why?” I asked, circling back to the question.

“Because I’m a control freak,” she said. “Happy?”

“I don’t think it’s a paired thing. I think the damn washer eats my socks,” I said, lifting each up to find a matching set.

“If you just wore one kind of socks, it wouldn’t be this difficult,” Murphy said as she tapped me to move out of the way.

“I could tell you why, but I want to hear it from you. And it has nothing to do with you being a control freak, so try again,” I said, moving to lean against the side of the dresser.

“How can you find anything in here?” she asked, pulling the drawer out and then marching over to the bed. “What was the question?”

“Murph, I didn’t go back to the closet and choose what I wanted to wear, because all of my choices were already on the bed. You chose the one you liked best out of my choices, so that’s what I’m wearing,” I said.

“I thought you weren’t going to tell me,” she said, tossing a matching pair of socks to me before upending the drawer.

“I thought you said you’d never sort my socks again after the last time,” I said, smirking.

“Yeah, well, I guess neither of us can help being who we are,” she murmured.

“That’s exactly it. And you know what? I can’t think of a single person who’d put up with all of my bullshit the way you do. And I don’t mind your quirks because they make you who you are.”

She lifted the drawer and handed it over to me. “Here, do something useful. Is there a point to all of this, besides pointing out our flaws?”

“Just that I love you,” I said, sliding the drawer in as Murphy wandered into the bathroom.

“I love you, too. Even when you make me angry enough to spit nails,” she said. She closed the bathroom door.

“Hey, you got a second?” Aiden asked, poking his head into the room. “Or is it a bad time?”

The sound of the shower coming on had me internally growling at Aiden’s crap timing. I looked to him, and then made it a point to look at the bathroom door. Give him the are you kidding me right now look, I said, “It better be important.”

“Grab your jacket,” Aiden replied.

“We could have talked inside where it was warm,” I said, shoving my hands deep into my pockets with a shiver.

“You could start a fire if you’re that cold,” he tossed back at me.

“So could you.” I moved to the pile of wood. Even a small fire would at least chase off some of the chill.

“You haul the wood, and I’ll get it rollin’,” Aiden said, slipping into his heavy southern drawl.

“Huh,” I marveled, dropping an arm full of logs by his feet.

“What?” He didn’t bother to look up at me as he stacked the logs.

“Have you noticed that we all have lost a bit of our accents since we’ve been in Chicago?” I asked.

“Can’t say as I have,” he replied.

“I didn’t notice it until just now, but we have. Weird.” I handed him another log, and then stepped back when he added a little bit of lighter fluid before pulling a book of matches from his pocket.

I crumpled a piece of old newspaper and tucked it under the logs.

“Planned this, did you?” I asked.

“Boy Scout rule number one… always be prepared,” he said, striking the match and setting it against the edge of the paper.

“Does this preparedness come with a reason why you pulled me out of the house to talk?” I asked.

“I didn’t pull you anywhere. I asked you. Big difference. And yes, I have a reason. Pull up a chair, Jackson, you aren’t gonna get any taller,” he said as he sat.

“Hand me the poker,” I said, moving an empty chair closer to the fire.

Aiden smirked. “Nope. My fire. I get the poker.”

“Dick. So why am I out here?” I asked.

“Airen told me that you talked to her,” he said, gauging me with a look to see how I’d take that bit of news.

I leaned forward, rubbed my hands together, and then held them out to the fire. “Were you expecting me to get mad?”

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what your reaction would be,” he answered, laying the poker on his knees and then leaning his arms on it.

My fingers itched to grab it from him. Firebug that I was, I couldn’t leave a fire alone once it was burning. “I tell Murphy everything, so it’s not like I can get mad at Airen for talking to you.”

Aiden blew out a breath and hunched his shoulders. “I’m not good at this whole relationship thing, Jared. What I do know is that every one of them are different. It bothered you to find out that me and Airen made a commitment to one another that worked for us. But what I don’t think you fully understand is that it worked for us because neither of us were expecting more from one another. There may never be wedding bells in our future, and we’re okay with that. Hell, it might even come down to the one year and one day, and we make that same vow to each other all over again. And just continue to do that for the rest of our lives. But it works for us.”

I slouched back in my seat, arms crossed tight as I considered what he said.

“Ask yourself this, why would she say no? She’s put up with you for quite some time. You live in each other’s pockets almost every second of every day. What reason would she have to balk at marriage? Once you really think about it, then maybe it will make more sense to you. Maybe she’s never wanted marriage. Maybe she sees no point in it. I mean, stop and really think about it. What is marriage, or the glorified version of it?”

“A piece of paper, or, for some, a title,” I answered. “Trust me, Aiden, I’ve thought about it all. In fact, it’s pretty much all I think about these days. I don’t want to push her, but damn. Do you know what a kick in the gut it is to love someone so much that all you want to do is prove to them they are everything to you, but they say no? I know she loves me. I know that, and yet I still…”

“You still want something she’s not able to give you. I get it,” he said.

“No, you don’t. You might think you do, but you don’t. You and Airen found a way to show your commitment to one another without having to do something you had no intention of doing. You’ve made a pledge to one another. If I’m being honest, it might even be stronger than any marriage vow. The point is that it isn’t just about standing up in front of our friends and family to announce our intentions, to join our lives in the presence of them and God. It’s about telling one another that there are no more steps. That we’ve given all that we are to one another in every sense of the word,” I said, feeling the threat of heavy emotion sweep over me.

Was it too much to want to show the person I loved that I’ve given her every part of myself? And how could I explain the feeling of it without sounding like I wanted some kind of claim on Murphy? Making someone understand how I felt was almost impossible.

Aiden sighed and pushed up from his seat. The fire poker hit the side of my leg. His hand came down on my shoulder. “Maybe you taking the first step is the best thing. Don’t expect anything from her. Hell, don’t even ask her. Just show her what you mean if you can’t find the way to tell her. Out of everything you said, I understand what you mean about giving everything you are to one another. So ask yourself what it is you can do that shows her how you feel, and then let her be the one to decide what to do with it. She loves you, Jared. Really, a man can’t get any luckier when he has the heart and soul of his own heart and soul.”

When I nodded, he squeezed my shoulder and then left me with my thoughts.

“Sound advice. Now what the hell am I going to do with it?” I said to the flames dancing before my eyes.

I had no idea how long I sat there, but the fire had all but died when Ella showed up with a steaming mug in her hand. “Compliments of your other, better half.”

I took the mug from her, and felt the stinging heat soaking into my hands.

“So how come you’re out here all alone by a dying fire?” she asked, moving to add more wood. Once she finished, she grabbed the poker to stoke the flame.

“Too lazy to get up. The fact my ass is frozen to the seat doesn’t help either,” I answered, taking a cautious sip of coffee.

“Murphy would have come out, but her hair is wet,” Ella said, claiming the seat Aiden had vacated.

“Am I missing anything important?” I asked, wondering why Ella had chosen to stay out in the cold instead of hurrying back inside.

“Not really. Everyone is sort of doing their own thing to get ready for this evening. You planning on playing the guitar for us again?” she asked.

“I suppose that can be arranged,” I said, grinning. It felt good to be able to play music in the place where it had all begun for me.

“I can see why you guys love this place so much. I mean, I’ve been here once before, but—”

“A lot has changed since then,” I said, giving her an out.

No matter how well she put up the front of putting her past behind her, it would always be there and popping out in her unguarded moments.

“It’s snowing,” Ella said, putting her hand out and catching a flake in her palm.

A smile broke out on her face. In a flash, she came out of her seat and hauled ass to the cabin.

I had a feeling everyone would be outside soon, so I forced myself to get up and grab a few more logs to get the fire burning a little hotter.

“Mark, haven’t you taken enough pictures?” Paige called out, scooping a small handful of powder off the ground and doing her best to form it into a snowball.

“Don’t even think about it,” he warned, shoving his camera inside his jacket to protect it.

The ground was patched in white like someone had sprinkled it with confectioners’ sugar. The air was crisp, and when it gusted, snowflakes swirled madly as if they were dancing.

“Frozen all the way through yet?” Murphy asked as she sat on my lap and turned to lean into me.

“Almost. Might take hours for me to thaw out. You’ll probably have to follow me around with a towel to wipe up the water I’ll leave behind,” I said, sucking my breath in when she shifted and wiggled on my lap. “Then again, if you keep that up, I just might start steaming,” I said.

“I can’t help it. There’s something digging into my arm,” she said, poking at my jacket. “What is that?”

I swallowed hard. “Nothing.”

“I know that look. What’s in your jacket?” she asked, reaching for the zipper.

I swatted her hand away playfully. “Stop, Ms. Nosy.”

“Now I have to know what it is,” she said, going for the zipper again.

“Murph.” Her name came out as a whisper. I caught her hand in mine, and gave her fingers a light squeeze.

“What?” Her eyes searched mine. “Is it a surprise?”

“No,” I answered, being fully honest.

I’d kept the rings on me in case Murphy decided to clean and stumbled across them. I hadn’t decided what I was going to do with them, but after my conversation with Aiden, I figured I’d put them away once we got back to Chicago. He’d told me to think about what it was that she wanted. I was trying my best to take his advice and not be selfish.

“What are you hiding from me?” she asked.

“I’m not hiding anything from you.” I felt her stiffen.

“Yes, you are,” she said, poking my jacket where the box was hidden.

I was caught in a no-win situation. Lie to her, tell her the truth, or let her see it for herself? I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.

Her hand shot down the front of my jacket and had the box out before I could stop her.

“Hey!”

“Nothing, huh?” she said, shaking the box in my face.

I grimaced. “I don’t think you should…. You know what, have it your way. Look if you want, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

My stomach turned to water when the box creaked open. Around us, everyone carried on while they tossed mini snowballs at one another. They had no idea of the explosion in motion.

She gasped, but it was so faint the wind snatched it away. I knew better than to say anything, so I left her to her thoughts while she processed what she was seeing.

I didn’t have to wait too long. “Jared, are those…?”

I steeled myself, finding I couldn’t look her in the eyes. “I did try to warn you.”

The longer she was quiet, the more scared I felt. But what really freaked me out was when she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a gorgeous set like this before.”

My heart galloped in my chest as I fought to stay calm. “They’re, um, one of a kind.”

Her finger brushed over one of the rings, but I had no idea which one because of the way she held the box.

“Are those music notes?”

“Yes, but not random ones. It’s the opening notes to one of the first songs I played for you.”

She took one of the rings out and turned it slowly. “You had it custom made?”

I nodded. “I sent the drawings to a jeweler,” I said, not wanting to get into all the unnecessary details at the moment.

“Hey, Murphy, what’s that?” Riley asked, moving close to the fire.

Murphy snapped the box closed and shot off my lap. In her haste, the box hit the ground. Riley bent to pick it up. I sat frozen in place, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do.

“Here,” Riley said, putting the box in front of my face. “I have no idea what that was about, but you should probably go after her.”

Everyone had stopped in the middle of what they were doing and looked at me. Aiden gave a slight jerk of his head. Go, it said. I went with the vision of Murphy holding the ring as she looked at it, realizing she hadn’t pulled out her ring. She’d pulled out mine.

It came to me then, what to do. How I could prove I wouldn’t bring up marriage again. That she’d have to bring it up to me if it was what she really wanted.