Chapter Twenty-Five

Shawn

I wasn’t sure how to explain it. And the problem was I didn’t really have anyone to explain it to. It’s not like I could call up Mom and Dad and be like, “So there’s these three guys…

“No, not one.

“Three.

“Oh yeah, and they’re basically like glorified massage therapists without the sexual happy ending but more of moan-filled The End.

“No sex though, so don’t worry! Ha ha.

“Oh, and they won’t leave me alone.

“And I like one more than the others.

“But I want to keep the others around.

“But like, not in a sexual way.”

Yeah, that sounded good.

Like a totally normal conversation to have with one’s parents, right? Especially after transferring schools and already complaining to them about classes and lack of friends, not to mention the asshole ex-boyfriend.

I highly doubted they wanted me to go in this direction.

A bit severe.

I chewed my bottom lip and stared across the room at Slater’s bed. The unicorn was gone, and he’d left a note with instructions on what creams to use on my face so I didn’t “wake up looking like a zombie.”

I texted Alexa to come over for movie-night, but she wasn’t feeling well.

So that left my new friend, Skylar, the same one who had abandoned me the night I’d somehow gotten drugged. Then again, her boyfriend had shown up, and things had gotten heated, so I didn’t blame her. Plus, the music had been so loud I’d just wanted to dance and escape it all.

I shuddered. Never again, at least not with someone I barely knew from a team I’d just joined.

It was close to eight.

But I’d seen a girl my age walk into the guys’ room a half hour ago, so I wasn’t sure if we were still on.

To be safe, I poked my head out the door.

The lights were low.

I held my breath and listened. No sound of moaning.

I made my way across the room and knocked.

Leo answered on the first knock, shirtless. Big shock there. “Almost done, come on in.”

“I, uh—”

He jerked me past the doorframe and slammed the door behind him. The room was dimly lit, a few candles were scattered around the desks, and the smell of lavender filled the room.

The girl had something covering her eyes, and her head was in Knox’s lap while Finn rubbed her feet and legs.

“Now…” Finn’s deep voice filled the air. “…tell us about what you miss.”

“I miss—” Her voice cracked. “—things like this.”

“I completely understand.” Leo knelt in front of her body and caressed her lips with his fingertips. “You miss the touching, the intimate moments that you’re afraid you won’t ever get again.”

She sighed. Her lips pressed together as if she was trying to keep her cry in.

“Sometimes…” Knox’s voice made my body so aware of his presence I couldn’t drag my gaze from his even if I’d tried.

His blue eyes locked on to mine. His hair hung around his chin like some old Viking just ready to conquer and pillage every woman in his path. Because that was what Vikings did, right? His lips quirked into a tiny smile as he ran his hand through her long dark hair.

“…sometimes it’s better to understand what we miss so we can figure out what we want for our next partner. What you crave is physical attention and someone to listen to you. Those are good things to have in a healthy relationship. What’s not healthy is wishing for what could have been.”

“Yeah.” Her voice was small.

Finn stopped rubbing her feet and gently set them on the floor while Knox helped her stand.

“Rest your head against my chest,” Knox whispered, pulling her shoulders gently toward him.

She leaned her body back while Finn approached and, very gently, pressed his lips against hers. She didn’t seem to kiss him back, just let him explore.

When he was done, Leo stepped in and kissed her on the cheeks.

And then Knox turned her in his arms and kissed just below her right ear and whispered, “He’s an idiot to let you go, but you’ll be an even bigger idiot if you pine for him when you could have it all.”

He pulled the blindfold from her face. “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Want it all?” He tilted her chin toward him.

She nodded.

“Then take it,” he encouraged and stepped away just as Leo turned the lights on.

With tears in her eyes, she reached for Knox’s hand, squeezed it, and then gave each guy a hug, not even acknowledging that I was in the room.

When the door clicked shut behind her, the guys all gave a collective sigh, as if signaling the work day was finally over.

“Does it emotionally drain you?” I wondered out loud.

Knox was the first to answer, “Every damn time.”

“You can’t—” Finn broke off with a grimace, only to start again. “—you can’t feed someone emotionally without emptying your own tank, Shower Girl.”

I frowned and sat on the empty chair in front of one of the desks. “Then how do you fill your tank back up?”

Finn smiled shamelessly along with Leo.

Knox just scowled harder.

“Some of us get it elsewhere… from each other, friends, girlfriends, one-night stands. You can’t just get it from one place. But you do need to get it. Got it?”

I narrowed my eyes.

“Finn has one-night stands on a weekly basis,” Leo pointed out. “I tend to like the weekends better, but that’s when Finn studies. And Knox? Well, Knox hasn’t had sex in three years.”

Knox groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I mean, we’re not even sure he’s had his V taken.” Leo nodded seriously.

Knox threw a pillow in Leo’s direction.

“Rumor has it that the day he cuts his hair,” Finn said in a reverent voice, “will be the day he’s met his Delilah, his love, but also his downfall.” He snapped his fingers. “Hey, you’re good with sharp objects, aren’t you, Shawn?”

I laughed and felt instantly sorry for Knox.

“So, enough about me.” Knox cleared his throat. “What’s your story? Lonely transfer with a very masculine name, set up with Slater, of all people…”

“Eh, what the hell,” I muttered. “I’d put every ounce of energy into sports and studying, refused to even go out because it could mess with my nutrition and my game, got to the point where I was losing too much weight and nothing was fun anymore. Let’s just say going through serious seasons of depression isn’t fun. I’m still on a light medication.” I gulped. “And you know, ex-boyfriend— Apparently, my skin color was a factor. Who knew? Sorry I got a bit serious with you guys, but I promised my parents that if I could transfer, I’d try, you know, the whole fresh-start thing. But practice has been killing me, and my classes are a lot harder than I thought. Slater was the first real friend I made next to Alexa. That’s kind of why…” Warmth flooded my face. “…why I went out the other night when another girl invited me. I just— I don’t want to be that girl anymore, the one who says no then spends the night in her dorm depressed and falling asleep at eight to Friends.”

All three guys stared at me with new admiration in their eyes, or at least it felt that way.

Finn cleared his throat. “Knox falls asleep to Friends every night, so I wouldn’t worry about being the weird one of the group.”

Knox grinned over at me. “That may be true.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Leo said in a serious voice, “we don’t let people in to our little group often — too much jealousy from the ones with ovaries — but you’re an athlete, which makes you almost like a dude… with really nice boobs.”

“Uh, thanks?” I laughed.

“My pleasure.” Leo winked, earning a smack on the chest from Knox, who was standing and making his way over to me.

He held out his hand.

I stared at it first then took it. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to the kitchen so I can teach you how to work the microwave, and if you pass with flying colors, we’ll work on tying your shoes.”

“Be still my heart,” I said0 in a bored tone.

“We’ll get the movie ready,” Leo called.

The door shut behind us.

Knox released my hand.

I didn’t like it, not at all.

His hair was wild around his shoulders still. I wanted to touch it again but restrained myself, just barely.

“So…” I needed to fill the silence with my voice so I didn’t do something stupid like ask if I could touch his six-pack. “…is that why you keep your hair long? Waiting for the right scissor-happy woman to stumble into your arms and snip-snip?”

He laughed and looked at me over his shoulder. “It’s a rumor, something I love toying with every second I can get. Once I was in class and brought scissors up to my hair. Two girls next to me let out screams. One passed out. It’s a clear sign I’m off the market, apparently, and it’s just that traumatic to some of our clients.”

“Because they want you?”

“Because the idea is that they think they can have me,” he admitted. “Not that it matters. Eventually, they find their match through the app and forget all about me, but it keeps them coming back. Every girl thinks they’re the game-changer. None of them are.”

It felt like a slap to the face.

I nodded even though my body felt numb.

I hadn’t realized he’d moved until he was standing right in front of me, touching my shoulders, dragging me against his chest, and tilting my chin toward his mouth.

Warm lips descended, sending my body into a flurry of excitement and danger as I snaked my arms around his neck.

It should be intimidating, kissing this man.

Instead, it felt right.

We fit.

He moaned into my mouth when I flicked his tongue with mine, and when I tugged his hair, he lifted me by the ass onto the counter, dragging his lips down my neck until he was out of breath, his head inches from my breasts.

“Guys?” Leo opened the door. “Popcorn ready?”

“Almost,” Knox barked in a hoarse voice.

I frowned. “You haven’t even put it in the microwave.”

“So?” He kissed me harder.

He made me forget more than the popcorn; he made me forget about everything but the pressure of his lips, the taste of his mouth, and the way his body heat seemed to make my temperature spike to dangerous levels.

We broke apart when the door opened again.

This time it was Finn. “Dude, if you’re going to stay out here and get naked, fine by me, but at least feed us before the show.”

My face felt like it had been lit on fire.

Knox grinned as he pressed his palm to my cheek. “So beautiful.”

It was the first time someone with that face, that sort of body, that sort of mystery, had ever looked me in the eyes and said something so poetic, so real, that I felt my eyes well with tears.

It was in those moments when you hadn’t realized how starved you were for the words that mean something, that a god descended from above and whispered truth into existence, and suddenly, you believed him.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he pressed a finger to my lips and turned around and slowly, painfully, pressed buttons on the microwave, then faced me and crossed his arms. “Any questions?”

“You didn’t press start.”

“You like pushing buttons. You press start.”

I rolled my eyes, hopped down, and hit the button, but I could feel him staring behind me. When I turned, he didn’t even try to hide that he was looking at my ass. “Seriously? All of that just to stare a bit?”

“Hell yes, and it worked. I got an extra five seconds in.” He smiled wide.

Damn it, he was pretty. So pretty.

“Also?”

“Yeah?”

“Worth it.” He pushed away from the counter and then wrapped an arm around my waist. “So glad we decided to be friends.”

“You just kissed me.”

“I slipped.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, the radiation from the microwave got to me.”

“So anytime I stand in front of the microwave—”

“I won’t be able to control myself.”

“Just microwaves?”

“Trees,” he said once the microwave beeped, “air…”

I shoved him and started laughing as he grabbed the bag and kissed me on top of the head.

“…movies…” He kissed near my ear. “…study sessions.”

“So just be prepared to get pounced at any time?” I pulled away, searching his eyes.

He just shrugged, opened the popcorn, and tossed a kernel in his mouth. “Guess so.”

“You’re impossible to figure out.”

“Heard you like puzzles,” was all he said before opening the door and showing me a spot next to his bed; pillows and blankets were everywhere. I grabbed a bowl and let Knox fill it up then laughed when both Leo and Finn flanked either side of me during the movie.

And didn’t even flinch when Knox sat behind me and pulled me into his arms like it was normal.

As if all college women had three guys surrounding her like a celebrity.

Nothing was normal.

And yet, not one part of me felt weird.

So, when Finn started playing with my hair casually… when Leo rubbed my left hand and massaged my stiff fingers…

I didn’t think twice.

And as I fell asleep against Knox’s chest, I could have sworn I felt two different sets of lips caress my cheek and one touch my mouth.