(Well, Rachel is still 15 ½. I’m 16. It’s why I’m far more mature than she is...)

Ethan

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SUBJECT: RIDING IN Your Car

Dear Ethan,

It’s bad enough that I don’t have a driver’s permit (By the way, no one cares that you got to take one of the last tests right before our county changed the age requirement), and my parents insist on me getting a ride to and from school with you every day, but the least you can do is not be rude as hell to me the whole time. You could at least give me time to get your car and not start driving once I step out the front door.

But you know what? Since I’m clearly the bigger person, I think the time has come for us to just be cordial with each other and nothing more. Since I’ll have to wait another year and a half to get my permit, do me a favor these next few months and don’t speak to me unless we’re in your car. And even then, anything other than “Hello” and “Goodbye” would be far too much.

Fuck off and Forget You,

Rachel

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SUBJECT: RE: RIDING in Your Car

Dear Rachel,

First of all, it’s bad enough that we even know each other—the specifics of why don’t really matter. If you started stepping out of your house on time, I wouldn’t have to do that.

You’re NOT the bigger person at all. I told you that I wanted to be “just cordial” with you weeks ago before you snitched on me about seeing cigarettes in my room. Cigarettes that weren’t even mine. (Is your life really that dull to where you have to look out your bedroom window and into mine for entertainment?) 

Your latest snitching stunt has ended any shit about us ever being cordial again.

Fuck off and Forget You, Too,

Ethan

PS—We both know you’re never going to get your driver’s permit because you consistently fail the written exam in Driver’s Ed. (Newsflash: The shit isn’t that hard)

PSS—Congrats on learning how to use spellcheck for the first time in an email this year. 

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SUBJECT: RE: RE: RIDING in Your Car

Dear Ethan AND Rachel,

Please log off your computer stations and report to the principal’s office right now. I’ve warned you two, time and time again, to stop using the school’s server to email each other these petty little notes.

Do you have any idea how this can be misconstrued as cheating? Any idea how reckless you two are?

You’re in the middle of taking an exam!

Forget BOTH of you,

Miss Washington

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I STARED AT MISS WASHINGTON’S email from yesterday, wondering why she didn’t end our conversation sooner since we’d sent twenty-five emails before the one she decided to randomly interrupt.

Thanks to Rachel’s pettiness, we’d been forced to leave school via an afternoon suspension for the rest of the day, and today was supposed to be a “fresh start.”

And of course, she was late.

I honked my horn at 7:05, knowing that she was just standing in her living room and staring at the clock. Waiting until her “preferred” pick up time of 7:15.

At exactly 7:15, she opened the door and let up her flimsy umbrella, rushing across her front yard and into my car.

“Would it kill you to pull all the way into my driveway?” She shook her hair, getting water all over my dashboard. “Especially on the days when it rains? That’s what a true gentleman would do.”

“I never said I was a gentleman, especially not for you.”

She rolled her eyes and buckled her seatbelt. Turning up the music, she pulled a bag of donuts from her backpack and handed it to me. I pointed to the fresh cup of vanilla coffee I always picked up at the new corner cafe for her.

Even though we were hardly ever on speaking terms, we had an unwritten rule between us for the morning drives. She was responsible for getting breakfast the night before and I was responsible for picking up the hot chocolate (Well, coffee for her) before I honked at her house.

We didn’t have to like each other to adhere to that at all.

I headed to my girlfriend Valerie’s house and pulled into her driveway. (I was a gentleman for her.) I let up an umbrella and walked to her porch, smiling at her bright pink dress and grey raincoat.

“Morning, Ethan.” She blushed and kissed my lips.

“Morning.” I returned her kiss and grabbed her backpack.

“Wait, before we go can I show you something?”

“Now?” I looked at my watch. “We’re going to be late if we don’t head out at this moment.”

She kissed me again and bit my bottom lip, whispering. “It’ll be worth your while. I promise.”

I sighed and obliged, following her inside her house and into her living room.

“What do you think?” She pointed to two canvas paintings. One of them was a picture of a couple kissing (I thought...) and the other was of the new hotel that was across from our high school.

“I painted ‘us’ as a present for you!” She smiled. “And since that hotel always distracts us during lunch I decided to paint it for you, too. You want to put them in your car now or later?”

“Later,” I said, quickly softening my tone. “I mean, it’s raining outside and I don’t want them to get wet.”

“Oh yeah.” She smiled. “Good point.”

I held back a sigh as she covered them with a sheet. Rachel would never stop talking shit about those pictures if she saw them this morning. Mostly because Rachel knew how to draw better than anyone in our school and she never let me forget it.

Ugh. Rachel’s good at almost everything. Except spelling...

“Okay!” Valerie kissed me again. “I’ll bring them to your place this weekend.”

We took our time walking to the car and I opened the back door for her.

“Ugh!” She huffed and slid onto the backseat.

I didn’t bother asking her what was wrong. The rain was falling even harder now and we were now running late thanks to her anyway.

As I pulled onto the street, she cleared her throat.

“Ethan,” she said, sighing. “Why does Rachel always get to sit in the front seat of your car?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why is it that Rachel—the girl who is not your girlfriend, is always in the front seat when you come to get me?”

I looked at her through the rearview mirror, noticed that her arms were crossed and her face was beet red. “It’s because Rachel lives next door to me and she’s always sat in the front seat since I got this car.”

“That’s not a good reason, Ethan.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m your girlfriend and you claim that she’s your so-called enemy, but you sure do treat her better than any enemy I’ve ever had. You treat her like she’s your best friend—more than just your best friend.”

I rolled my eyes. This was the third time she’s picked a fight with me about Rachel and I wasn’t sure what else I could say to convince her that Rachel was just Rachel.

There was nothing but hatred between us and there always would be.

“Don’t you think this is messed up, Rachel?” She was still talking. “How would you feel if your boyfriend—Well, girlfriend because you’re a lesbo right?”

“I’m not a lesbian.” Rachel shook her head, looking completely unfazed.

“Well, that’s what the rumors around school say. Based on the way you dress and the fact that you only hang out with guys, I’m certain you can see why people think that way. Not to mention the fact that you don’t have a single girl as a friend.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Would it bother you if I sat next to my boyfriend, please?”

“Whatever.” Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt when we approached the next red light and climbed into the backseat. Valerie took her time letting up her umbrella and stepping outside to take two whole steps to get into the front seat.

She kissed my cheek before buckling her seatbelt and smiled as I drove away. Then she picked up the donut bag. “How sweet of you, Ethan! Did you get these donuts and that coffee for me?”

“Actually, those are me and Rachel’s donuts,” I said. “Do you want me to stop somewhere so you can buy yourself some?”

She gave me a blank stare, and then her face reddened.  “Are you fucking serious?”