Rachel

One week later...

––––––––

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT I’m dating Greg Charleston III,” Penelope said, taking a seat next to me at Gayle’s on a Thursday night. We’d weathered the hour-long wait for a table in the rain, and the waitress was making our night so far with endless cups of hot chocolate.

“Like, out of all the guys on this campus, I decide to go for one of the biggest ass-holes. The guy who walked up to me with the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

“He’s also the mayor’s son.” I smiled, sipping my drink. “Doesn’t that make dating him somewhat better?”

“Not at all.” She laughed. “The sex does that.”

“Is it that good?”

“Good isn’t even the right word for it.” She waved at him and Ethan as they walked into the diner. “I haven’t gone a day without orgasms since we started dating.”

Ethan kissed my cheek before sitting next to me, and Greg signaled for the waitress.

“Sorry we’re late,” Ethan whispered. “Greg wanted to stop for Penelope’s birthday card.”

I raised my eyebrow. “That’s not until next month.”

“He wanted to buy it before he forgot.”

“Hey!” Greg wagged his finger. “No whispering tonight, enemies. It’s night one of a three week-long celebration and you’ll have plenty of time later to do that whispering shit.”

I shook my head. “What exactly are we celebrating?”

“Us getting a new roommate soon,” he said, laughing. “But more importantly, Ethan moving to New York for business school next month.”

WHAT? “I’m sorry, what?” I looked at Ethan. “Next month?”

He nodded, smiling. “I made up my mind the other day. I planned to lay out all the details tonight since I know you’ll have plenty of questions. You can even join me this weekend when I leave for my pre-campus visit. I’ll be there for a full week, but I’d love for you to be there with me for some of the days.” He kissed my cheek, and my blood ran cold.

“To New York dreams!” Greg raised his cup for a toast, and Penelope and Ethan joined him.

I faked a smile and leaned back against the booth.

“To New York dreams!” they all said in unison one more time.

I sat still and listened as Ethan told them about all the things he was looking forward to in New York, all the plans and preparations he’d made without letting me in on a goddamn thing. Since he had plenty of credits and his professors had all conspired to waive his final semester of electives, he would be awarded his two degrees this winter.

Not that he would be able to attend his graduation, though.

There was a pre-campus visit this week, an orientation session two and a half weeks after that, and after one final week of intensive placement and specialty tests, he’d be taking classes six days a week once January came.

When Greg insisted on showing Penelope the famous “Carter & Ari” booth on the other side of the diner, I cleared my throat.

“Ethan?”

“Yes?” He smiled, turning me on and making me temporarily forget that I was upset.

“Can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

“Of course.” He stood up and clasped my hand, leading me through the dining room and outside into the rain. He let up an umbrella and held it over my head, walking me to a nearby alley.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I could’ve sworn we said that we were going to talk about our futures together before we made any decisions.”

“No, we said that we were just going to talk about it later,” he said. “That last part was never agreed to, especially since you made your decision already.”

“My decision doesn’t count since it’s the right one.” I crossed my arms. “If you’re going to New York next month, where does that leave us?”

“What do you mean, where does that leave us?” He rolled his eyes and stepped back, letting me hold the umbrella. “We’ll still be together, Rachel. It’s just New York, and I can fly back to see you on Sundays. Or, I can fly you up to see me anytime you want.”

“Let me get this straight...” I paused, feeling my blood beginning to boil. “I’m willing to stay here for a year and a half—to take fucking fluff courses, just so I can be around you, and you couldn’t tell me that you were already making moves to go to New York? You didn’t just make up your mind about this ‘the other day,’ Ethan. You fucking knew.”

“I also fucking knew how you would react, so I thought it would be better if we talked about it in private.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, how’s that line of thinking going for you so far? Is this better than what you envisioned?”

“It’s shockingly worse.” He shook his head. “But I’m doing what’s best for me, and as my girlfriend you need to respect that.”

“If you truly felt that this was best, you would’ve told me before Greg,” I said. “If this program was what truly made you happy, then you would talk about it as much as you talk about ‘us’ and writing.”

“I haven’t talked about ‘us’ since you couldn’t even try to be happy for me.” He clenched his jaw. “And this may not be my dream program, but the job I get afterwards will help me with the bills while I pursue writing. If you’d listen for a change, maybe I could explain.”

“I’m fucking listening, Ethan,” I narrowed my eyes at him. “I just can’t hear through all the bullshit. If I’d known that you were going to New York, I would’ve—”

“Done the same goddamn thing.” He hissed. “You would stay here because that’s the most romantic option, because you’re incapable of making logical decisions and you base everything off how you feel and what you read in your goddamn romance books.” He stepped closer, glaring at me. “Instead of going to college like a normal person, you joined Semester at Sea because you were mad about something I said.”

“I was mad about something you did.”

“Same difference.” He shrugged. “Look at where that got you. You’re a year and a half behind on credits with three years of time on a ship you hated, all because someone hurt your goddamn feelings. You’re willing to stay and take pointless ass courses to be close to someone you’ve only been dating for a couple months.”

Silence.

The rain fell a bit harder, and neither of us said a word for several minutes. My heart reeled at his cold description of our relationship, and it pounded heavily against my chest. It begged me to walk away and finish this later before I said something I might regret, but I stayed put.

“As much as I would like to stay here for another semester and spend more time with you,” he said, sighing, “I have an opportunity that’ll get me an MBA in a shorter amount of time, so—”

“You don’t even want an MBA, Ethan!” I interrupted him. “That’s my whole fucking point! You’re just scared to take a fucking risk and do something different because the outcome isn’t guaranteed.”

“Now you’re finally thinking like a logical person,” he said, his voice terse. “Congratulations. It only took you over twenty years.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m too upset to even think about fucking you right now.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“That’s what you should mean.”

“You know what?” I shook my head and stepped onto the sidewalk. “Tell Penelope and Greg I’m not feeling well and decided to go home. Or, you can tell them I left because of my fucking emotions. Your choice.”

“Rachel...” He sighed and reached for my hand. “Rachel, stop. Let me drive you.”

“Don’t touch me.” I jerked my hand back. “Go celebrate your new life, the one I’m clearly not that big a part of since I’ve only been dating you a couple months.”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” He gritted his teeth. “Just because I do something you don’t like, you decide to walk away.”

“You’ve done a lot of things that I don’t like, Ethan,” I said, handing him the umbrella as the rain fell down harder. “Some of them were even at my own expense, but they were always genuine, and they always made some type of sense.”

“This decision also makes perfect sense.” He handed the umbrella back to me. “And the only person who’s questioning where we stand after it is you.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll be around whenever you want to talk about this like an adult. Maybe in a few days when we’ve both calmed down?”

“Sure,” I said. “We can talk about it when you get back from your pre-campus visit in New York.” I stepped back and hailed a cab. “I’m not returning to your celebration party.”

“You wouldn’t be the Rachel I know if you did...”