* * *
I tell Janine that I’m going to check on Brandon one more time before we go to bed—before we leave that to these baby monitors for just a few hours—but find myself staring at him for several minutes, suspended in awe.
I can’t believe I’m a father.
My heart prickles as it swells with something new. It almost feels like being on the verge of crying, but in a good way.
“Is he alright?” Janine’s voice floats from the bedroom.
I take a deep breath and pull myself from his crib, treading through the adjoining bathroom and into our bedroom. Janine stretches across the bed in a blue nightgown, watching me.
“Sleeping like a baby,” I inform her, taking off my robe.
“Good.” She lets out a sigh of relief as she lies on her back on the bed. “Hopefully, he’ll stay that way.”
“Hopefully.”
I go on the bed and slip under the covers beside her, lying on my side and propping my head up on my arm as I look at her.
She turns her head towards me. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” I reach out to grab a tendril of her hair and twirl it around my fingers. “I miss you.”
“What do you mean?” She gives me a puzzled look. “I’m right here.”
“You know what I mean.” I kiss the strands of hair on my fingers.
She pulls from my grasp, looking away. “Dash, you know we can’t.”
“Why not?”
Janine turns her back on me. “I just had a baby.”
I place my hand on her arm. “Three months ago.”
“Yes. And it’s hard, alright? I’m tired.”
I kiss her shoulder. “You need to relax, have fun. You haven’t forgotten how to have fun, have you?”
“I don’t know.” She sighs, lying on her back again and pulling the covers up to her chest. “Sometimes, I feel like I don’t know even myself anymore. When was the last time I listened to the radio, you know? When was the last time I watched a movie? I feel like, when Brandon was born…” Janine swallows thickly. “Maybe part of me died.”
“No.” I reach for her hand. “It’s the same you, just better and stronger. Sexier. I know you’re in there, just waiting for a chance to come out and play with me.” I press my lips to her neck. “Maybe I should come in and play with you.”
Janine pushes me away. “Dash!”
“What?” I look at Janine with raised eyebrows.
“I’m not ready.” She sits up, rubbing her arm. “It’s not just me who isn’t the same… It’s my body.”
She pulls her knees up to her chest, hugging them.
“My stomach is all weird now and my…” Her eyes bulge as she searches for the right words. “I just feel like I’ve changed so much.”
“You had my child.” I sit beside her, stroking her jaw. “Do you understand how sexy that is to me?” I whisper a kiss against her earlobe. “Strong,” I whisper, kissing her jaw next. “And you got pregnant the good old-fashioned way.”
Janine snorts, hiding her face behind her arms.
“Do you want to turn off the lights?” I suggest.
She looks at me and nods.
I would rather make love to her with the lights on, of course, but if it makes her comfortable, let’s unscrew all the lightbulbs in the house.
I want her.
But Janine hides even more of her face. “What if I don’t like sex anymore? What if you don’t like sex with me?”
I pull her arms out of the way. “There’s only one way to find out, right?” I sweep the hair away from her face and kiss her cheek. “I’ve been waiting for you, Janine.”
I straddle her and wedge my kneecap between her legs.
She says nothing, but her mouth falls open in a silent cringe of desire.
I stroke her cheek, looking into her eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t be back?”
Janine purses her lips then looks down at her hands. “You don’t have a reason to do this anymore, Dash. We have a baby now.”
“If all I wanted was a baby, we would have done IVF,” I remind, lifting her chin gently so she meets my gaze. “But we didn’t.”
She falls silent, staring at me.
Grasping her chin, I kiss her slowly, tenderly. At first, she doesn’t respond. Then her soft lips quiver open as they press against mine. A shudder goes through me, cock throbbing in my boxers and heat crawling under my skin.
Fuck, I’ve missed her.
I move my hand to her cheek as I kiss her harder. A deep click sounds throughout the room, and the lights blink out all around us. Smaller, dimmer emergency lights flare up along the floorboards.
Janine pulls away, gazing in a panic toward the bedroom windows. “What’s going on?”
“Probably nothing,” I murmur into her neck.
“But there’s no power.” Dogs start barking on the lawn. Janine shifts, slithering from my embrace. She crosses the room like a streak of lightning. “I’ll check on Brandon.”
“He’s fine, baby,” I call after her. “It’s probably a downed wire.”
She leans back into the bedroom just to glare at me. “If we lost electricity, we wouldn’t have the emergency lights,” she says. She disappears back into the adjoining bathroom.
“It’s the security system,” I call after her, still not alarmed. These things happen. Last winter, a branch broke a window and set the thing off. “It shuts down the power and locks all the closed doors. Except the kennel. Those open so that the dogs can go out.”
“The security system can do that?” her voice floats from the bathroom.
I nod, sitting up. “We can still go out. I just have to punch the code.”
I hear the doorknob of Brandon’s nursery rattling in Janine’s hand. “Oh, thank god. We didn’t close it all the way.” There’s a pause, and then, “Brandon’s fine.”
I get out of bed and put my hands on her shoulders. “Of course, baby. No one’s going to hurt him.”
She turns to look at me, rubbing her arms with her shaking hands. “I thought this was the safest place.”
“It is,” I assure her, holding her against my chest. “It’s probably nothing, but this is why I pay professionals. So you don’t worry.”
Janine nods, but doesn’t seem convinced.
I might have the cure for what ails her. I’ve always heard that sex is good for relieving stress.
I hold her chin and turn her face to mine. “Why don’t we…?”
Janine balks. “NOW?”
“Well. The lights are already off.”
I lower my face to hers and kiss her, my hand moving down to caress her shoulder. As before, Janine hesitates… then melts, unable to resist. She puts her arms around my neck and kisses me back fully.
I move my hands to her backside, pressing her body flush to mine and kissing harder. I crack her mouth open and our tongues dance together.
Fuck, I’ve missed her so much.
Already, my cock is hard and leaking, my balls heavy. There’s already a small stain on the front of my boxers.
I know Janine thinks she’s changed, but everything feels the same to me.
I cup her breasts through the front of her gown and then slip my hands underneath, so I can feel them with my bare hands.
Janine pulls away, gasping. “Careful. They’re sensitive.”
“I know.” As much as I want to do this hard and quick, having been deprived of it for so long, I know I have to be gentle. “This gown is convenient, isn’t it?” I kiss her neck as I rub her stiff nipples.
She moans. “Don’t try any funny stuff with those.”
I chuckle before capturing her mouth again, holding it captive while I run my hands over her body. Her hands begin moving, too, stroking the muscles of my back and grabbing my ass.
I think she missed me, too.
I reach for the hem of her nightgown, pulling it straight over her head. Then I push her down on the bed, staring at her.
Even from just the glow of the emergency lights, I can see how her body has changed, her breasts bigger, nipples darker. If her breasts were beautiful before, now, they’re mesmerizing, making me lick my lips as I cup their soft, perfect curves. Her hips are wider now, too, a woman’s hips, giving her a slightly more hourglass shape. I grip them as I stare at her belly, the stretch marks having faded but still there, like battle scars. Now, we are both warriors.
“Don’t stare.” She turns her head to the side. “I told you it’s not pretty.”
“What’s not pretty? This?”
I lower my head to suck on her breast and she pulls on my hair, gasping. I stop, licking my lips as I taste the milk.
“That’s not for you,” Janine says.
“I see why Brandon likes it.”
I suck on her other breast, drawing another gasp.
“These were mine first.”
I move lower to her belly and plant a reverent kiss on it. Not so long ago, our baby lived here. I dip my tongue into her bellybutton and then I move even lower, my face between her thighs.
I kiss the front of her moist panties, taking in her sweet scent. Then I pull them out of the way, staring at her.
“Well?” Janine asks. “How does it look?”
“Amazing,” I answer, burying my nose in her curls and licking her clit.
She trembles, her quaking thighs clamping around me. I push them apart and continue licking, letting the tip of my tongue rub against that sensitive nub, teasing it.
“Dash!” Janine gasps, tugging at my hair.
“Looks like your tits aren’t the only sensitive part,” I whisper against her pussy. She bucks against me in response, hungry.
I let my thumb take over, coaxing that bud into bloom, while my tongue strokes her soft folds, already coated with the nectar spilling from her. I lap it up before pushing my tongue in, tasting her.
She tastes the same – warm and thick, slightly sweet and slightly salty.
Perfect.
“Dash!”
As I move my tongue faster, I glance up to see her throwing her head back, eyes shut, her nails scratching my scalp. Her body shakes all over. Her hips lift off the edge of the bed.
Then she goes completely still, arms falling to her sides. I lift my head, licking my lips.
I lean up and take off my boxers, setting my cock free. Seeing it, Janine’s eyes grow wide and she pushes herself further up on the bed, spreading her legs and stretching her arms out to me.
Fuck. The sight almost makes me come then and there.
Almost.
I pounce on the bed, placing my arms and legs on either side of her.
“I thought you didn’t want me.”
She cups my face. “I could never stop wanting you. Besides…” She strokes my cheeks. “You’re right. I’m… still in here.”
“In here?” I slip a finger inside her.
She gasps. “That’s it.”
I chuckle.
She places her hands behind my head, lifting hers to kiss me.
I kiss her back as I stroke her, feeling her become softer, wetter, hotter.
I can’t take it anymore.
I position myself on top of her, pausing to push some of her hair off her forehead and stare into her eyes of molten gold. Then I move my hips, sliding inside her, filling her inch by inch.
She clings to my shoulders, her eyes rolling back. Her mouth gapes open to let out a moan. I kiss her, swallowing all the moans that follow. My hips move faster, rocking her body with mine.
One of her hands moves to the back of my head, caressing my hair as she kisses me, her hips moving to meet my thrusts.
I go harder and faster, like I’m in a panic. My cock balloons inside her. I know it won’t be long. It’s been too long already and I need it so bad.
Janine frees her mouth from mine. “Faster,” she pleads.
I break my previous speed and place an arm around her, my face against hers as I jerk my hips. Her hands cling to my back. “Dash!” she cries out.
I let go just moments before she does. Our bodies tremble while drenched in sweat. Panting pierces what is otherwise the silence of the room. I let her milk me of every last drop.
I lift my head to look at her. “Well?” I ask. “Do you still like it?”
Janine grins, giving me a squeeze with her pussy. “I think you know the answer to that.”
I chuckle, kissing her forehead before I pull out. I lie down beside her, pulling her into my arms.
“I told you everything was fine, baby doll.”
Janine snuggles against my chest. “As long as you, me, and Brandon are okay… everything is fine.”
Before I can answer, the lights flip back on.
“Bummer,” I say.
Janine laughs.
Outside, I hear a dog still barking.
“Do you think they found whatever it was?” Janine asks, lifting her head.
“Probably.” I run my fingers through her mess of red hair. “We’re safe, anyway.”
She lays her head back down. “You know, being a mom has made me feel brave… and more afraid.”
I grasp her chin so that her gaze meets mine. “You have nothing to fear. I promised your mom that.”
“So that was what you talked about?”
I nod.
She rests her head on the crook of my shoulder. “She doesn’t have much time left.”
I kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Janine.”
She shakes her head. “I knew this was coming.”
Even so, I can hear the fear in her voice. I can feel her pain as her tears land on my skin.
I hold her tighter, burying my lips in her hair. “Shh. It’s alright. I’m here for you.”
I stroke her hair as her shoulders start to shake and the drops on my chest turn into puddles, letting her cry softly until she falls asleep.
When she stops moving, her breath evens and I gently push her off of me and place her head on the pillow. I wipe her half-dried tears and then pull the covers up to her chin before getting out of bed.
I pick up my boxers off the floor, putting them back on. Then I grab my robe, tying the sash. I may have seemed casual with Janine, because I wanted her to calm down, but now that she’s asleep, I go to the adjoining room to check on our son too.
He is in his crib, sound asleep, unaware of anything that just happened.
I tiptoe out of the nursery and the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I head downstairs and outside, where I find the gardener, Ed, smoking a cigarette.
“Ed. Do you know what happened?” I ask him, placing one hand on my hip.
“Sir.” He turns around, surprised to see me. “There was an intruder, sir.”
“Did you find him?”
“Not… yet.” He shakes his head, his cigarette behind him. “He must have turned back and escaped when he set off the alarm.”
“Did the dogs find anything?”
“No. But Larry is checking the cameras now.”
“Okay.” I pat him on the shoulder. “Let me know if you find anything.”
“I will, sir,” he answers. “Whoever tried to break into the mansion was an idiot. He should have known this house would have a damn good security system! I mean, we make them. I mean, you make them, sir.”
I grin. “Yes. Foolish. Let’s hope they learned their lesson. Still, be alert.” I put my hands in the pockets of my robe, looking around. “You never know.”