Chapter Eighteen

Gavin and I have been dating for over a month now and I think I'm in love. I've never been in love so it's hard to say for sure but it feels like love. That all-consuming feeling that takes over, making your mind and body long for the person when they're not around. Like part of you is missing when you're apart.

Megan tells me it's just hormones making me feel this way. She said those feelings will wear off in a few months and that's when the true test of a relationship begins. But I don't think these feelings will go away.

Gavin told me he loves me last weekend. We were out at the lake by Henry's cabin, gazing up at the stars. There was no warning. No lead up. We were just lying there, quietly holding hands, and Gavin said 'I love you'. It was perfect. Not just the words, but the way he said it. Like it was just a given. Like I already knew, which I did, but that it still needed to be said.

I said it back, because I really do feel like I love him even though I'm still questioning what love is. But I don't know how else to describe these feelings so I'm going with love.

"Do you really have to go?" Gavin asks as we lie in my bed. It's just after five and I have to leave for work soon. Gavin came here at three and we've spent the whole time in bed. The sex is still great so we do it a lot.

"I have to get ready. I have to shower and put on my uniform and I don't want to be late."

"The party's at my parents' house. You're dating their son. Trust me. You can be late."

"Carol would disagree with that. She doesn't care if we're dating. She'll still fire me if I'm late."

Carol is still trying to get me to break up with Gavin. When I'm around her, I won't even mention his name because if I do, she'll try to convince me to date someone else. I don't understand why she doesn't like him, and when I ask, she's always vague, saying we're not a good fit. But how would she know? She knows very little about me outside of work, other than what my mom tells her, but since moving to Florida, my mom doesn't talk to Carol much.

"You need a different job," Gavin says. "Why don't you just quit and start working on your restaurant?"

Gavin and I have talked a lot about my restaurant plans. He's been so supportive. He even offered to give me money to help get my plan off the ground. But I turned him down. I'd feel odd using his money. I need to get a bank loan like my mom did. I've been talking to her about my restaurant idea and she's excited for me but also concerned. She keeps telling me how difficult it is to own a restaurant and how I need to do a lot of thinking and planning before moving forward.

So for now, I'm continuing to work at my catering job, saving as much money as I can.

"I'm not ready yet," I tell him. "I'm not even sure where I want the restaurant to be."

"Do like you said. Start with a food truck and test it out. Then if all goes well, you can get a permanent place." He kisses me. "Wherever we decide to go after graduation."

"We?" I smile.

"You think I'm not taking you with me after I graduate?"

"Maybe I want to stay here."

"Do you?"

"No." I laugh a little. "I was just joking. This town isn't big enough to support another restaurant."

"Do you know where you want to go?"

"Not really."

"But you want to stay in Connecticut."

"Probably. At least for a few years."

"Good." He grins like he's hiding a secret.

"What does that mean? Are you not telling me something?"

"I just found out I got a job for after graduation."

"You did?" My heart sinks at the thought of him leaving. It's still months away but I don't want him to go.

"It's entry level and doesn't pay much but it's exactly what I want to do. It's for an organization that fights to get affordable housing for the poor. I'll be working on public policy initiatives."

"Where's the job?"

"In New York. But I was thinking I'd live in Connecticut. Somewhere close to the city."

"Why wouldn't you just live in New York?" I ask, knowing he could afford it.

"Because it'll be harder to open a restaurant in New York. It's expensive and there's so much competition."

"What are you saying?" I ask hesitantly.

His hand cups the side of my face, his eyes on mine. "I'm saying after I graduate, I want us to get a place together. And I want you to start your restaurant."

I sit up slightly. "Are you serious?"

"I don't want you putting off your dreams any longer. I feel like I'm already living mine. Working on my dad's campaign. Getting the job that I wanted. And most importantly, finding the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Tears form at the corners of my eyes. "Gavin."

"It's true. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I know it's early in our relationship to talk about this but when you know you've found the person you want to be with, why wait?"

I look at him, no longer questioning if it's love that I'm feeling. I know it is. I know because of how I felt when he said that just now. A peace and contentment came over me, knowing Gavin wasn't going anywhere. That we were in this together. That this man, who has become my friend, my confidant, my biggest supporter, would always be at my side.

"I love you," I say to him.

He smiles. "Is that a yes? You'll come with me after graduation?"

I nod. "Yes."

"And you'll start your restaurant?"

"I don't know. I might need another year to plan it."

"You've been planning it your whole life. It's time to stop thinking about it and just do it."

"I know but—"

"I don't want you to keep waiting for this. And besides, it's only fall. You have months to work on your plans. But next summer, I want you to make those plans actually happen. Stop putting it off. I know you're scared, but I know you can do this. I believe in you and I'll help in whatever way I can."

"You're too good to be true." I laugh a little. "Are you sure you're real?" I say it like a joke but it's how I really feel. I can't believe a guy as great as Gavin even exists. And that he loves me and wants to be with me. The old Kate would doubt it, convinced Gavin was just saying those words but didn't mean them. But now, for once, my untrusting heart believes that this is real. That I've truly found the man that I love.

"So," he says in a serious tone, "are you really on board with this? Because it's what I want. But I want to make sure you want it too."

"I do. I'm totally on board." I lunge forward and hug him. "I can't believe we're already planning this. Moving away together. Getting our own place." I pull back. "So how'd you get a job this soon? They know you're still in college, right?"

"Yeah, but my dad is friends with the guy who hired me. They went to college together. So I got some favoritism but it wasn't just that. I met all the qualifications for the job and I promised the guy I'd work harder than anyone else there. I really want to make a difference in people's lives and I think with this job, I'll be able to do it."

"That's awesome. Congratulations!"

"Just think..." He kisses me. "Soon we'll be starting our lives together. In our own place." He kisses me again. "No more dorm room. No roommates. Just us."

"We still have months to go before that happens."

"But it's something to look forward to." He runs his hand along my bare shoulder and down my arm. "Call in sick tonight. I want to stay here in bed with you." He talks in my ear. "Do things to you."

"I'd love that but I can't miss work."

He sighs and sits back. "I wish I could be there tonight."

"You'll have a better time at the Moorhurst party."

"Maybe. But you won't be there."

Gavin's going to a party for a guy on his floor who turned 21 today. The party is off campus somewhere. Everyone on Gavin's floor is going so it'd look bad if he didn't show up. The guys already give him shit for spending so much time with me instead of hanging out with them.

"If you were at your parents' party, you wouldn't see me anyway. I'll be working."

"Yeah, I know. But you'll still come over when you're done, right?"

"Maybe you should come over here. It's gonna be loud on your floor when everyone gets back from drinking."

"You're right. I'll meet you here instead." His lips brush against my neck. "We'll resume where we left off."

"Sounds good." I kiss him, then get out of bed.

"Hey, get back here."

"I have to go or I'll be late."

"I'm gonna head out while you're in the shower so I need to say goodbye now." He pulls me down to him and kisses me. "Love you."

"Love you too." I smile every time I say that. And every time I hear it.

Two hours later, I'm at the Bishop mansion, walking around with a tray of shrimp. It's strange to be back as a server after being here for lunch. I haven't seen Celeste yet tonight but I saw Niles just briefly before he disappeared into the dining room where some men were talking.

Tonight everyone is scattered around the expansive living room that's just off the foyer. The Bishops hired a man to play the grand piano and the sound echoes off the high ceilings, making it hard for people to hear each other. I'm guessing that's why groups of men keep stepping into the dining room to talk. The women remain in the living room, mingling with glasses of wine in their hands.

"Would you like some shrimp?" I ask a tall older woman with sleek white hair.

"No, thank you, dear," she says, waving me away. "I'm watching my figure."

She doesn't need to watch her weight. She's stick thin, like every other woman here.

It's a slow night. I've been walking around with this tray for almost an hour and still haven't gotten rid of the shrimp.

I go up to Mia, who's holding a tray of miniature pastries that have barely been touched. "Why isn't anyone eating tonight?"

"Beats me." She starts to yawn but then stops herself.

"I know. I'm tired too."

Her lips turn up. "Gavin keep you up all night?"

"Shhh." I look around. "I don't want his parents to hear."

"Like they don't know you're getting it on with their son?" She snickers.

"Mia!" I whisper. "Stop talking about him."

"So where is he tonight?" she asks, ignoring my request. "I thought he'd be here."

"He went to a party with the guys on his floor. He hasn't been spending much time with them so he thought he should go."

She nudges me. "Put your game face on. The ice queen is coming this way."

I turn and see Celeste walking toward us wearing a silky white evening gown that drapes over her svelte body and swishes on the floor as she steps quickly and purposefully in her high heels.

I'm already feeling nervous and she hasn't even spoken to me yet. I was hoping to avoid her tonight but I guess that's not happening.

"Kate." She stops right in front of me, showing off her phony smile. "Could I have a word?"

My nerves are on edge and I can hear how fast I'm breathing. I'm sure Celeste can too. I'm giving her the upper hand, which I shouldn't do. I shouldn't let her intimidate me. I'm dating her son, who I may be spending the rest of my life with. If so, Celeste may be my mother-in-law someday, which means I need to learn to get along with her. But just being around her freaks me out. Despite telling myself to be strong, I still find her intimidating.

"I better get back to work," Mia says, taking off with her tray.

Damn her. Just when I need her, she leaves.

"Is there an issue with the shrimp?" I ask Celeste, wishing that was the reason she wanted to talk. A problem with the shrimp is easy to fix. A problem she has with her son and me dating is not.

She points to my tray. "Perhaps you could put that down."

I locate a tray stand just a few feet away and go set the tray there, then return to Celeste.

"Let's step aside." She grabs hold of my elbow and leads me down a narrow hallway, stopping at the end.

We're alone. Just the two of us. Sure, there's a roomful of people just down the hall but I doubt any of them would help me if I needed it.

What am I thinking? Celeste isn't going to hurt me. She's so skinny she'd probably break a bone if she even tried. I'm being ridiculous. This is Gavin's mother, for crying out loud. And I love Gavin, so how bad could his mother possibly be? She raised him, after all.

I straighten my posture and look her in the eye. "What is it, Mrs. Bishop?" 

She pauses and I prepare for the worst. She's going to tell me to stop dating her son, or else. I'm not sure what the 'or else' is but I'm sure it's not good. She has money, and money is power. And I get the feeling she uses that power to get what she wants.

"It's about Gavin," she says.

I brace myself, waiting for it. The warning. Ultimatum. Whatever it is she's going to use to keep me away from her son.

"What about him?" I ask, my voice breathy and higher than normal.

She sighs. "Gavin's birthday is coming up and I'm struggling to figure out what to do for it."

That's it? That's why she pulled me aside? I let out the breath I was holding and force myself to relax.

"I'm sure anything you plan will be fine," I say.

"It has to be more than fine. I want the party to be something he'll enjoy and remember."

"Well, what did you do last year?"

"We didn't see him. He spent his birthday with Leighton. They went to New York for the weekend."

So he took his girlfriend on a romantic trip to New York, just like he did with me. Why does that make my stomach queasy? It shouldn't. It doesn't mean anything. It's the past and he lived close to the city so it makes sense he took her there.

"For his gift last year," Celeste continues, "Niles and I paid for Gavin to go on a trip during his winter holiday. He and Leighton went to France for three weeks. Leighton has friends there. She studied in Paris for a semester during her freshman year."

I finally get what she's doing. She didn't take me aside to ask my opinion on what to do for Gavin's birthday. She took me aside to remind me what type of girl her son typically dates. The type of girl he should date, which is clearly not me, according to Celeste.

"I'm sure Gavin would appreciate just a small party here at the house," I say, ignoring her references to Leighton. "Maybe invite some of his friends from Moorhurst. I'd be happy to help you organize it."

"And what do you know about planning parties?" She smirks and looks down at my uniform. "You're a server."

"I know how to plan a party," I say, trying not to show my anger. "I could even do the cooking." I set my eyes on hers. "Gavin loves my cooking."

She stares back at me. "Or maybe he just says he does in order to get what he wants."

My anger is now boiling over at her insinuation, but I take a breath and say, "Mrs. Bishop, if you have something you want to say to me, then just say it."

She cracks a condescending smile. "Your comment just proves how little you know about our world. Gavin's world."

"Meaning what?" I ask in a biting tone, not able to hide my anger.

"Proper etiquette dictates that one does not just blurt out whatever thoughts enter one's head, especially if those thoughts could be considered unpleasant."

She sounds like someone out of the Victorian era. If these rich people could only hear how ridiculous they sound when they talk like this.

"Mrs. Bishop, I know you don't like me. But Gavin does. And despite our differences, we're happy together. So I'd appreciate it if you'd leave us alone."

My comment doesn't faze her. She remains completely calm, that rude smile still on her face. "Gavin liked Leighton as well. In fact, he loved her. He planned to marry her." She pauses. "And perhaps he still will."

I clear my throat. "Are we done here?"

She lets out a laugh. "Oh, my dear Kate. We are most certainly not done." She motions to my uniform. "Go. Continue with your serving duties. And get rid of the shrimp. It's been out too long." She turns and walks away.

Guess I'm not surprised by our little chat. I knew it was coming, and actually I thought it'd be worse.

I really don't care that she doesn't like me, and I don't take it personally. Her only reason for not liking me is because I don't have money but she'll have to get over that. Gavin and I love each other and there's nothing she can say or do that will change that.

Back in the living room, I find my tray and take it to the kitchen. As I'm dumping the shrimp, I see Niles walking in.

"Kate." He smiles at me. A real smile, like he's actually happy to see me.

"Hi, Mr. Bishop." I set my tray down.

He walks over to me. "Please...call me Niles. There's no need to be formal. The way Gavin talks about you, it sounds like you might be part of our family someday."

Did Gavin really tell him that or is Niles making assumptions? I can't imagine Gavin telling his parents we might get married someday but maybe he did. Maybe that's why Celeste is so angry at me.

"I don't know about that," I say. "We haven't dated that long."

"So you haven't talked about it?" Niles leans back against the counter, folding his arms over his chest, still smiling.

"Not really," I say, not wanting to say much until I know for sure what Gavin told his parents about us.

"Well," Niles continues, "I must say, you've captured Gavin's heart. I haven't seen him this smitten with a girl since Leighton. After they broke up, I thought he'd need at least a year to get over her, and then suddenly he meets you and...well, I must say I'm surprised at how quickly he moved on."

Here we go with Leighton again. Do his parents not know you're not supposed to bring up the ex? Obviously, Celeste intentionally did it because she hates me, but I think Niles actually likes me so he shouldn't be talking about Gavin's ex-girlfriend.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he says, "Pardon me. I shouldn't be talking about Leighton with you. It's just that she was such a big part of our lives for so long that sometimes I can't help myself."

"It's fine." It's really not, but at least he recognized it and sort of apologized.

"For what it's worth, I think you're a lovely girl. I see why you caught Gavin's attention."

"Thanks," I say, then realize it sounds stupid. What am I thanking him for? I glance over at the tray of spinach-filled pastries that's next to the oven. "I should get back to work."

"Of course." He unfolds his arms and steps away from the counter. He turns to leave but then stops. "Oh, and don't worry about Celeste. It takes her a while to warm up to people."

I nod and give him a smile, then go to get the tray of appetizers.

Niles leaves and I feel somewhat relieved by the fact that I'm not completely hated by Gavin's parents. At least his dad likes me. I didn't expect that. I thought Niles would hate me as much as Celeste does. But he didn't grow up around wealth so maybe that's why he's more open to accepting my relationship with Gavin.

Whatever the reason, I'm just glad I have someone on my side. I'm going to need that in order to survive whatever Celeste has planned for me.

I don't trust her. But at least I can trust Niles.