CHAPTER TEN
New Year, New Day—Jack
I am an asshole. I haven’t slept in 24 hours and I’m a total asshole. I’m stretched out on my childhood bed in my father’s house, fully clothed. So, not only am I an asshole, but I’m also pathetic. My dad passed two days ago and I can’t sleep. He was my best friend and I’m a little lost without him. The funeral was today and the only people who were there, aside from myself, were his two buddies and his sister, my Aunt Bea. He wanted a quiet funeral. No fuss. He’d probably be pissed I invited anyone at all.
No sleep for me, but plenty of whiskey. I’ve been drinking it since I got the call from my aunt that my father had taken a turn. I was about to get in the shower, looking forward to getting back to my Sally and meeting her kids, when my phone rang with my dad’s ringtone.
“Hey, Pops!” I said merrily.
Instead of hearing his gravelly voice I heard a sniffle and then Bea’s quiet voice. “Jackie, you gotta come. He’s bad.”
“Bea, can I talk to him?” I asked, holding my breath.
“No, he’s not conscious but he may come to if he had a reason,” she said and I knew what she meant.
“I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone, grabbed my already packed duffle and drove like the wind to the airport. I kicked myself that I didn’t have Sal’s number to let her know but I’d try once I was home. Once on the plane, I started drinking and I haven’t stopped.
I had a week with him before he left me forever. My phone sits on my dresser, dead and useless. I feel dead and useless. He woke up one time and I got to tell him all about my Sally and how much I loved him. He was quiet and was struggling but he let me know he was proud of me, loved me, and was happy I found my soulmate. Ugh, if she ever wants to see me again, that is.
There’s a knock on my door and Bea comes in uninvited. “Jackie, I love you, but this is bullshit. You need to get up and get on with it. Your pop would not want you to wallow like this. Go home, go to your girl, and make it right. Sober up, shower, take a nap, and then go home.”
She’s right. I need to get up. So I do, I get up and pick my Aunt Bea up off the floor and kiss her on the cheek.
“Fool, put me down,” she says, laughing.
“You’re smart, Aunt Bea. I’ll be back in a few weeks and we can figure all of this out.” I gesture to the house and farm.
“Don’t you be silly, we have it under control here, go back to your life in LA and don’t worry about us. We will always be here for you.”
I kiss her again and she slaps my chest. “Take a shower. You stink.”
It’s New Year’s Eve. I’m back in LA and dressed in my best tuxedo for Carla’s annual party. I hope she’s there. When my flight got in this afternoon, my intention was to go to Sal’s right away. I finally got her email and voice message and I know I’ve dug myself a hole. I headed home to regroup and saw tonight’s invite like a beacon. I’m wholly in love with this woman and I want her forgiveness and understanding so badly. I’m going to try to get that the best way I know how, a grand gesture with a musical number, of course. I called Manny and Carla and a few other friends and they were all on board.
I hear from Carla that Sal is definitely coming with her friends, Rosie and Gigi. Once I know for sure, I put my plan into motion. I arrive at Carla’s early and set up. Carla’s home is in the Hollywood hills and it’s a beautiful, mid-century mansion with a huge main room that opens to a large patio outside. The weather is clear and cool but Carla has heaters on the patio and around the pool. There are twinkle lights everywhere and the catering is set up and ready to go. Every year her party is well attended, fun and classy. People would give their first born for an invite. Tonight, they are getting a little extra.
She’s breathtaking. Sal is here, she’s by the pool looking radiant yet sad. Her dress is a work of art, as usual. It’s a shimmery gold color and drapes over every fucking curve of her body. Her hair is up and I’m mesmerized by her graceful neck, the curve of her shoulder. I’m staring like some psycho, but I don’t care. She turns to Gigi, who hands her a glass of something. Sal knocks it back, puts it on a passing waiter’s tray and takes a deep breath. Fuck. I did this to her. I made her insecure and sad. I am an asshole. I’m making it right though and will be making it up to her every day until I’m forgiven.
“You ready, cowboy?” Carla pats my back, catching me spying on Sal. “Better make it good, you fucked up and just so you know, there are plenty of us that will make life difficult for you if you fuck it up again.”
I sigh, knowing her threat is real. “It’ll be good, and if she blesses me with another chance, I won’t risk fucking up again.”
Carla hugs me. “Sorry about your dad, Manny told me.” She releases me, smacks my ass and says, “Knock her dead, Jack.”
The party is in full swing and it’s about 11:45 pm. I have one chance to get this right. Carla made sure everyone was outside, supposedly for the New Year’s Eve countdown. She turns the music off and taps a mic set up on a balcony overlooking everyone, I hang back in the shadows. “Good evening, everyone. I’m so happy all of you could join me tonight to sign in the new year. Before we countdown I have a little surprise for you. Waitstaff are passing out sparklers and we’d love it if you’d hold them up.”
Carla waits for everyone to get a lit sparkler, then resumes her introduction. “Please lift your sparkler and join me in welcoming a man who is a sorry ass.”
The lights on the balcony go out and I step up to the microphone, guitar in hand. “This song is for my Sally, I know you’re mad, and I deserve it. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
As the lights come back on, I start to play the guitar. I hear some gasps and laughs and then a sprinkle of applause. Then I sing.