Addilyn
Lighting up my small Christmas tree, lights casting a glow all around the small dark room, I sit down to enjoy it. My feet are sore from standing on them all day, so I rest them on my coffee table. Picking up my hot chocolate I take a sip and pull the throw blanket over my lap. Tomorrow is my last day of work until after the holidays. The doctor’s office I work at is closed until the beginning of the year and it’s disappointing. I’d much rather work than deal with my family. I even tried to get Dr. Jones to cancel her trip home to see her family, but she laughed and told me to enjoy the time off.
There’s nothing enjoyable about being around my family. My sister and brother are both married. My sister has two kids and my brother is expecting his first any time now. I’m the black sheep. The one who focused on becoming a nurse, getting a place of my own, living the single life. Most parents would be proud of their daughter for it, for succeeding in her career and doing it all on her own. But not mine.
My parents have been trying to marry me off since I turned twenty-one. When I had my thirtieth birthday this year it was more like a funeral to them. My youth was behind me. My insides are drying up and no way could I possibly get pregnant. Not to mention no man my age worth anything would still be available. No, they are all married with children, living in a house with a white picket fence, coaching little league. My mom gave me a sign on and password for the online dating site she set me up on. Yeah, that was her present to me.
So, the idea of going home for two weeks and having to deal with it was really starting to weigh on me. The little digs, the out right blows, and constant ridicule is not how I want to spend my Christmas. Glancing over at my little tree, I smile. I’d love to stay home with my tree in my apartment.
The ringing of my phone snaps me out of my fantasy of being home and I grab it. Blowing out a breath I answer it. “Hey Mom, what’s going on?”
“Addie, what day exactly will you be here because now all your aunts and uncles are coming. We haven’t had the whole family together in years. Shame you’re coming all alone. This could be your grandmother’s last Christmas and it would be nice if she knew you were going to be taken care of,” she says, sighing.
“Mom, you know this is two thousand and seventeen right? Women don’t need men to take care of them, we can take care of ourselves. Hell, there are plenty of women who take care of their men,” I say, getting frustrated.
“You’re brother would never allow Tracey to take care of him and he’s younger than you are. Although at this pace you’ll end up having to take care of any man who is still available. You know because you’re getting older Addie. Did you even try that site I signed you up for? There are some men on there. Mostly divorced because of your age, but still worth checking out.”
I pull the phone away from my ear and contemplate just hanging up on her. Telling her that my phone died. But instead I put the phone back to my ear. “I’m thirty Mom. You talk like I’ve wasted my entire life, but I haven’t. I’m a successful nurse, living on my own.”
“I’m well aware that you live on your own,” she says. I can hear her rolling those judgemental eyes through the damn phone. “You should just get used to it.”
“Enough Mom,” I say, raising my voice.
“Don’t talk to me like that. You might not like what I have to say but I’m your mother.”
“I’m well aware you are,” I retort.
I hear her close a door and the loud TV I heard in the background disappears. “Addie, your father and I have been talking and I think I might understand what’s going on,” she whispers.
“What’s that?”
This should be great. I can’t wait to hear her explanation.
“Are you gay? Do you like women romantically?” she whispers in a shaky voice.
My stomach tightens with anger listening to her. “I’m not gay Mom and if I was I wouldn’t hide it from you. I didn’t want to say anything because I know how you are, but I’ve been seeing someone for a few months now. He’s amazing, but he can’t make it for Christmas so I didn’t see the point of telling you,” I lie.
The squeal she makes has me pulling the phone away from my ear. “Addilyn Mitchell, how could you keep this from me? What’s his name? What does he do? He needs to come for Christmas, Addie. This could be the last time we are all together. You need to bring him, I won’t take no as an answer. As a matter of fact, why don’t you just give me his number and I’ll personally call him to invite him.”
My eyes widen and I want to kick myself. Shit, what was I thinking? Of course she’d want me to bring him.
“Mom, he has family too. You can’t expect him to not see his family,” I say, hoping she’ll understand.
Her ridiculous laugh makes me think otherwise. “Easy solution, they are all invited here. Just give me their numbers. Oh Addie, this is so exciting. Wait until I tell your father.”
Looking around my apartment like some guy is going to magically pop out, I chew my bottom lip. What am I going to do now? She won’t give up. I could tell her we broke up, but if I do that she’ll be sure to give me example after example of how I need to fix myself. Fuck.
“I’ll talk to him tonight and let you know,” I say, trying to buy time.
I can actually hear her clapping her hands as she shrieks again. “Go talk to him now and call me back in a little bit. Wow, I need to make sure we have enough chairs and dishes and food. Tomorrow I’ll start stocking up, so send me a list of his favorite things so I can have that here. I want him to feel welcomed.”
“Sure Mom, I’ll call you back soon,” I say and without even waiting for a reply I hang up.
Closing my eyes, I sigh. What the fuck did I just do? Resting my head back, I stare up at the Christmas lights illuminating the ceiling. Christmas is supposed to be about family and friends being together, not about this. If I just had a friend I could ask or maybe...an idea hits me and I jerk forward.
Grabbing my phone, pulling up the internet, I start looking for hired dates. It’s pathetic, the lowest thing I’ve ever done, but at this point it might just save my holiday.