Chapter 1

Stone

I sat staring at the attendant for a moment, her green eyes glaring into mine.

“Sir, are you going to board the plane? We’re about to take off.” She seemed anxious.

“No…” I shook my head. I glanced at her shoes, the gold buckles shimmering in the fluorescent light. I lifted my head towards her. My eyes met hers. She spoke to me as if she cared.

“What about the fare? I don’t think it’s refundable,” she said sympathetically.

“Please…just leave me alone.” I stood up and started walking towards the exit.

“Sir…Sir?” she called out to me.

I kept a steady pace, my feet walking faster than my body. I was anxious. I felt lost. My heart was racing faster with each step I took and before I knew it I was running towards the exit. I turned to look behind me as if I were being chased and, as I turned around again, I slammed into a security guard.

“What’s the rush young man?” he asked as he held me by the shoulders.

“I’m late. I have to go,” I said, trying to catch my breath, my chest heaving in and out.

“Well, walk. We don’t allow running in here,” he said as a warning.

I continued to walk as fast as I could. The automatic doors opened, and I nearly fell on the ground, tripping over my own feet. I rested my hands on my knees, trying to inhale deeply, trying to catch my breath. I glanced up and saw the cab driver that dropped me off earlier. I managed to catch my breath and walked towards the cab.

“Hey.” I whispered, leaning into the passenger window of the cab.

“Oh no, not you. What do you want?” he asked nastily as he shook his head in shock.

“I need a favor…please.” My voice was trembling with each word.

“What?” He asked sarcastically, perusing the area as if I were going to mug him.

“I need you to drive me to Syracuse.”

“I know you don’t have any money. How are you going to pay me?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Look man, I need to go home. I’ll pay you the following week. You can come to my house personally. I need to get home…please.” I was practically begging. He stared at me and unlocked the door.

“Get in,” he said.

I sat in the cab staring out of the window. The rain started to tap lightly against the glass reminding me of the time Lacky and I drove up to Saranac lake to drop off the kids. Lacky…he’s dead. This whole situation had me fucked up in my head. Now, I made a drastic decision to stay in Syracuse, without my family, without the love of my life, without…anyone.

We finally arrived in Syracuse. The cab driver stopped in front of Maddie’s apartment building.

“You live here?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I looked at him suspiciously.

“Okay. Can I have your number? I’ll be back to collect.”

“Is that a threat?” I asked angrily.

“No, dude. Look man, I’ll get in trouble. Please, just pay me next week.” He handed me his card and a pen. I wrote down my name and number.

“I’ll see you next week…thanks.” I slammed the door to remind him that I am just a little crazy, but he really didn’t know the half of it.

Two murders. Even my own father. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe this is the best thing for all of us.

I jogged up the familiar walkway, tracing back the steps of the day. I walked back into Maddie’s life with no boundaries, no walls between us, no restraints. I thought from that day forward nothing could stop us from being together, but I was wrong.

Letters, birth certificates, psychos and death; and our sibling bond, tearing us apart at the seams, never recovering from the DNA that taints our blood.

I pressed the button for the elevator, the feeling of nostalgia taking a tight hold on the nerves in my gut. The elevator doors opened and Clarissa’s face flashed before my eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes, her long black hair.

The lump in my throat formed immediately. As I walked towards the apartment, I glanced over at Clarissa’s door. The lump grew thicker, and it was harder to swallow without the tears burning at the back of my eyes.

I pulled my keys out from my pocket, opened the door quickly, then closed it behind me. Everything was the same. The same as I had left it before I ran out of here, stepping over Clarissa’s dead body with the kids wrapped tightly in my arms.

I walked to the living room and sat on the couch. I placed my hands over my face to wipe the sweat off of my brow. I opened my eyes to see Jackson standing in front of me.

“What the fuck!” I yelled, startled.

“Stone, what’s going on?” he asked.

“What do you mean? What the fuck are you doing here?” I was confused.

“You’re in protective custody. You were supposed to be on a plane. You were supposed to return to Maryland.” He spoke in a nonchalant tone.

I stared at him nervously. Something felt wrong.

“Look, I need some time to think. My father died. I need to be here for the funeral.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Take all the time you need. It’ll give me some time to get to know Alyssa. She’s a beautiful little girl. She has Sylvester’s crystal-clear blue eyes.” I glanced up at him. The words bounced off his tongue like a sharp knife at my throat.

“Where are they?” I asked eyeing him up and down suspiciously.

“They’ve been taken to a different location until you get back, of course.” He turned towards the window. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Stone, but, now that Andrew is behind bars, Madison has no money to take care of the kids.” He turned to face me.

“And?”

“Well, they need to be taken care of. I think Social Services would provide a nice home for them.” I stood up from the sofa, my hands balled into a fist.

“Relax Stone.” He placed both of his hands in the air as if surrendering.

“What the fuck is going on here? No one is taking those kids. Do you hear me?” I spoke through gritted teeth.

“There’s nothing you or Madison can do right now. We have to do what’s best for them.” I grabbed Jackson by his shirt and pushed him up against the wall.

“You fucking bastard! You want to take Alyssa from me, don’t you! Don’t you?” I turned us around and pushed him against the sofa until he fell on his ass. I grabbed him again, yanking his body around the arm of the sofa.

“Alyssa is my niece! She’s not your daughter, she’s your sister!” He barked.

“Why are you doing this? You know how much we love them.” I yelled.

“She needs a good home. With someone who can love her and give her everything she needs. Not you two screw ups!” He stood up staring at me, tears starting to brim at the corners of his eyes.

“She’s my daughter…Jackson. Why are you doing this?” I asked confused.

“Look, I already went to court. Alyssa is staying with me. Maddie and Daniel are in an undisclosed location for now until the trial begins and everything is over. You won’t have any contact with her or Daniel, since you decided to not get on that plane,” he said calmly. He started walking towards the door.

“You son of a bitch! I’ll kill you! Where are they? Where are they?” I grabbed him by the back of his shoulders. He turned around and pulled out his gun, pointing it directly into my face. I stepped back.

“You little shit. Do you actually think I give a fuck about you or your trailer trash family? You’re lucky I’m taking care of Maddie and Daniel. Step the fuck back…now,” he said sternly.

I took another step back. My heart was racing, and I felt a heated rage raise from my feet to the top of my head. I couldn’t contain it. I grabbed the gun from his hand quicker than he could take a breath and placed it in my mouth.

“What are you doing?” He asked with icy fear in his eyes.

I took the gun out of my mouth and held it tightly, pointing it directly at his head.

“I’m going to place it back in my mouth…pull it…pull the trigger,” I said, then I placed the gun back in my mouth.

“Stop this!” He barked.

I removed the gun again; the tears began to trickle down my face. My chest was tight. The pain so real, it would only take one pull of the trigger to kill myself and that’s what I wanted to do.

“If you take my family away from me, there’s nothing left for me to live for. So, you might as well kill me.”

The tears continued their journey down my cheeks, scattering about as if they had a life of their own, feeling every inch of my pain.

“It’s done. I can’t take this back. Maddie and Daniel are safe. Alyssa will stay with me.” He took the gun gently from my hand.

“You’re just a kid, Stone. Get your life together and get your family back when your head is on straight. Madison is your sister, not your lover. She deserves a new life after what Andrew did to her. Give her a chance to start over from this nightmare. You know damn well what you’re doing is incest. Do you think that’s right?” He scolded me as If I were a child.

“We can’t help who we fall in love with Jackson…I love her. She’s everything to me. She’s my entire life. We are one. You may not understand that, but our connection goes beyond sex. I’ve never touched her like that, so do yourself a favor and mind your own fucking business. I’m going to get my family back. The woman I love and MY kids…not yours. You’ll have Alyssa only temporarily. I promise you that. And If I have to kill you to get her back, then I will. That’s not a promise…that’s a fucking fact.” I stared incessantly into his eyes.

I wanted to kill him right then and there, but I needed him close, close enough for me to try to find out where he was hiding Maddie and Daniel.

“Keep thinking that. Keep your distance, Stone. I’ll be watching you from afar. Don’t try to find them. They are being watched twenty-four hours a day.” He walked past me towards the door and smiled.

“There’s nothing that can keep me away from them. Nothing.” I vowed.

He opened the door and slammed it behind him.

I sat at the kitchen table listening to the deafening sound of silence echoing throughout the apartment. I looked around at the emptiness that surrounded me and I felt a coldness in my heart that knocked the air out of my lungs. The tears flooded my eyes as I thought about what Jackson said, ‘She deserves a new life after what Andrew did to her. Give her a chance to start over from this nightmare.’ I sat on the sofa and placed my head between my hands, my elbows on my knees. I felt sick. I knew what I needed to do. I walked into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. I thought about them all night until sleep took over my body.