Chapter Four
Drake
By the time we got back to the house, Lucy was feeling better. After we’d talked about my plans for her sister, we’d started talking about Lucy’s writing. She was working on a book in her spare time and when she talked about it she seemed to glow. The same thing happened when she talked about Harris. As we started up the walkway to the front door, she was smiling and all the tension was gone from her for the moment.
As I reached for the door to open it for her, it swung inward and Harris stood there with concern etched into his face. “You disappeared on me, sweetness.” His eyes went from her to me then back to her. “Everything okay?”
Some of her earlier tension returned, but I gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze to encourage her. She sighed, gave me another hug, then stepped forward. “Can we go home?”
“Sure, let me just tell—”
She shook her head and tugged on his hand. “No. We can call them later.” She leaned against him, pressing her forehead to his chest. “Please? I want to talk to you.”
Harris swallowed hard, his arms going around her and holding on like she was his lifeline. “Yeah, sweetness. Let’s go.” He shot me another look and I felt sorry for him when I saw the terror in his aquamarine eyes. That look asked me a million different things and I didn’t have a ready answer for him. Lucy had to be the one to tell him what was going on and let him show her that I was right, that the wedding part didn’t matter in the end.
Seeing that I wasn’t going to help him, he grabbed his coat out of the closet and pulled Lucy toward his car that was parked out on the street at the end of my driveway. “Bye, Drake,” Lucy called over her shoulder. “Tell my dad I love him.”
“Bye, Lu. Love you.”
“Love you!” she called as Harris opened the passenger door and waited for her to get in before closing it for her.
I stood there, waved when they pulled away, then went inside. As I walked by the family room I saw that a few of the guys had actually fallen asleep, and I grinned at Nik’s and Cole’s snoring. Jesse was still cognitive—barely—as was Devlin. “Your kids left,” I told them both. “They said they would call you later and Lucy said she loves you, Jess.”
The two men stood, frowns wrinkling their brows. “Why did they leave?” Devlin asked as he stretched the kinks out of his long body.
I grimaced and stuffed my hands into my pockets. I doubted these two knew just how crazy their wives had gotten with the wedding plans. “Lucy needed to talk to Harris. I’m sure they will tell you tomorrow if anything is wrong.”
Jesse’s ever changing dark eyes narrowed on me. “If anything is wrong? Meaning there is. What’s going on with my baby, Dray?” he demanded, his massive arms crossing his chest as he gave me an almost menacing glare.
I shrugged. “Maybe you should talk to your wives about the wedding they are so hell-bent on making into a circus? Lucy’s struggling with the pressure from it.”
“Motherfucking hell,” Jesse said with a growl and rubbed his hands over his smoothly bald head. “I should have known something like this would happen. I told Layla…” He broke off and headed for the door. “Layla!”
Devlin followed him. “Hell. Nat!”
I shot a glance at my father-in-law, brother, and bandbrother still sound asleep in front of the TV. Blowing out a tired breath, I followed after my two brothers-in-law. By the time I got to the kitchen, it was to find all the women looking crestfallen. Jesse was glairing down at his wife, while Devlin did the same with his own.
Angel was standing by the sink, a mug of coffee in her hands as she watched everyone with damp eyes. Jenna and Harper sat at the kitchen table looking uncomfortable yet too intrigued to leave the others to the obvious argument that must have been going on. Layla looked pale, her eyes slightly bloodshot from crying, and Natalie didn’t look much better.
“I thought you said Lucy was enjoying planning this wedding?”
Layla wiped at an errant tear that spilled free. “I thought she was.”
“You thought?” he growled in a low voice. “You thought, but you didn’t really know? Did you stop to think for two seconds that all this would set her back?”
“We all thought she was enjoying it, Jesse,” Emmie said, trying to defend Layla, but there was a quiver in her voice and when I looked at her I saw that there were tears and shame glittering in her eyes.
Jesse turned his hard gaze on the woman who had always been more sister than friend to us all. “Not one of you noticed that this was putting pressure on her?”
“We got carried away,” Natalie whispered. “I was so excited about giving them both the perfect day, but I guess it became more about what I wanted for them. I’m sorry I didn’t realize what this was doing to Lucy. She never said…”
“She shouldn’t have to. You should have had your eyes open,” Devlin told her in a harsh voice, but he pulled his wife into his arms and rocked her against him. “Whatever you three have been doing, it stops now.”
“Does Lu even want this big of a wedding? Or is she just agreeing because it’s easier?” Jesse demanded, his anger slower to cool because Lucy was his baby girl. I could understand why he would be so upset. If it had been any one of my girls, I would be off-the-walls pissed.
Layla sucked in a shuddery breath. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
Jesse turned away from her, paced to the other side of the room as if he needed space from her and the two other women. “Then maybe you should stop saying you’re sorry and find out. Her wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life. Not some three-ring circus that makes her feel like she can’t fucking breathe.”
“Jess, please…” Layla crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him. “I’ll fix this. I swear I will. It won’t happen again.”
He was stiff for nearly a full minute before he blew out a frustrated breath and wrapped her up in his arms. “I just worry about her, Lay. She struggles so much with…” His face tightened and he didn’t say the words that we all knew were going through his head. “It scares the hell out of me.”
“I know, babe. I know because it scares me too.”
After the tense scene in the kitchen, most of our guests quickly left. Layla and Natalie had wanted to follow after Lucy and Harris, but Angel had talked them into waiting until the next day. Lucy needed tonight with Harris to tell him what was going on, and I didn’t doubt for a second Harris would lay into his stepmother as soon as he saw her once he knew how much strain Lucy had been under lately.
It took a little longer to get Cole out of the house, but he only stayed long enough to tuck the girls into bed. For all his faults, Cole Steel was a great grandfather and he doted on my daughters almost as much as I did. His relationship with Angel had gotten easier over the years and I was glad that she had her father in her life, even if I’d wanted to kill the fucker when I first found out who he was.
After he was gone, I stayed downstairs, cleaning up the family room so Angel wouldn’t have to the next day. Once it was put back together I climbed the stairs but found myself hesitating outside our bedroom door. I ached to go inside and crawl into bed with my beautiful wife, but I couldn’t take another step.
I ran shaking fingers through my hair as a strong craving for a bottle of Jack pressed down on me like a mountain. I didn’t deserve the life I had. I didn’t deserve to get to sleep in the same bed with Angel every night and wake up with her each morning. I didn’t deserve this amazing life with her.
Not after what I’d done to her.
Not after what I’d stolen from her.
Not after I couldn’t ever fucking remember a single second of it.
“Fuck,” I breathed as I pressed my forehead against the cold wood of the bedroom door. I wanted a drink. Was so desperate for one that I was starting to shake. I fought with the cravings every day, but they were the worst the closer to that damn anniversary. As each minute ticked by, bringing me closer and closer to the day that I’d nearly destroyed me and Angel, the need to drink away the memories grew stronger and stronger.
So far, in the fourteen years since it had happened, I’d been able to fight the need to drink. I’d found the will to not turn to the bottle as I had once done to numb the pain and the self-loathing that had once been my constant companion. Angel and our girls had become my reason for staying sober and I would fight to the death to stay that way. But lately, those cravings had been almost too much for me to bear. With each year that passed these feelings got worse and worse. I knew that if I didn’t do something this year, that the next one I’d lose the battle.
I would lose it all.
I heard her soft footsteps on the other side of the door and lifted my head only a second before it opened. She stood on the other side in her thin pink pajama pants that had little bears on them and a simple pink tank top that clung to her braless tits and bared an inch or two of her flat stomach. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail that made my fingers itch to pull free. Her beautiful face was makeup free, but to me she was as glamorous like this as any fucking supermodel any day of the week.
I pushed aside all the bad shit in my head that had been trying to beat me into the ground and only let the love I felt for this angel free. She was mine, something I had to remind myself of daily, but I’d always try and be the man she deserved even if I knew I wasn’t.
Her whiskey-brown eyes were full of the same love and, not for the first time, I wondered how she could love me so fully, so endlessly, after all the shit I’d put her through. “That must have been a hell of a mess the guys left down there,” she murmured with a grin. “Maybe we should call a cleaning service and send my dad the bill.”
A lump filled my throat at the sight of her smile. That mysterious one that I’d been trying to perfect on paper from the moment I’d first laid eyes on her but still hadn’t been able to accomplish. I probably never would, but that was okay. As long as I had the real thing to look at every day for the rest of my life, I was completely fine with it.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” I bent and lifted her into my arms.
“Dray,” she squealed softly, kicking her long legs as she laughed. Fuck, I loved that laugh.
“I think we need to pick up where we left off this morning, don’t you?” I dropped her in the middle of our bed, chuckling when she bounced once, but the laughter quickly died, turning into a burning inferno deep in my gut as I watched her tits bounce. My dick throbbed against the zipper of my jeans and I quickly pulled them off before I followed her down onto the bed.
As I settled between her spread legs, her laughs turned into sultry moans. “Yes,” she whispered fiercely. “Please, Dray. I want you so much.”
“What do you want?” I demanded as I licked her bottom lip.
“You. Inside me. Now.” Her fingers stroked through my hair, tangling in the long length, holding me in place effortlessly. “Today lasted too long, babe. I need you in me.”
I was reaching for the end of her shirt, dying to feast my hungry eyes on her beautiful tits, when the door opened. Heavenleigh walked in, her face pale as she held her arms over her stomach. “I don’t feel good,” she moaned before throwing up all over the carpet.
The throbbing pain in my dick subsided completely and Angel groaned, her head falling back against the pillows. “She ate too much dessert. I’m going to kill Dad for giving her two more pieces of pie.”
I dropped a quick kiss on her lips, then jumped off the bed as Heavenleigh did a good Exorcist impression. I crossed to her and pulled her hair back from her face until she was finished. No use in trying to carry her into the bathroom. I’d only spread the mess along the way. When she was done, I lifted her gently into my arms and carried her into the bathroom. Pulling off her nightgown, I ran her a bath and cleaned her up while Angel cleaned up the vomit in the bedroom.
I reminded myself to call a cleaning service the next day to do the carpets and send the bill to Cole as I tucked my third daughter into bed between me and her mother. As the toddler snuggled against my chest, I reached across the mattress and caught Angel’s hand. She entwined our fingers and gave me a sleepy smile before turning off the light.
It wasn’t the hot sex I’d hoped for, but I wouldn’t have traded this for anything in the world.