Chapter Two
Leighton Mitchell ~ Eight Weeks Later
MY TWELVE-HOUR SHIFT IS ALMOST over, and I can’t resist taking Scarlett out of her crib, sitting with her in my favorite rocker, and cuddling her in my arms. I hold her close and caress the top of her head with my palm. “Hey, little Miss prissy pants. Dr. Wilson says that you are going home soon.”
I can’t believe how attached I am to this baby. I adore her. I’m aware that bonding with Scarlett this way is a mistake, but I find it impossible not to when she doesn’t have a mother coming to hold and embrace her.
Every baby deserves to feel loved and comforted and protected. And Scarlett wasn’t getting that in the beginning of her life. I really had no choice: Judd Mathews was so cold and distant with the poor little thing during the first weeks of her life.
It didn’t happen overnight, but Scarlett managed to melt the icy walls around her father’s heart. It’s been a beautiful thing . . . watching this baby girl wrap her daddy around her tiny little finger.
I’m holding Scarlett against my chest, humming a lullaby, when Judd Mathews arrives for his daily visit. “Look who’s here to see you, Miss prissy pants. It’s Daddy.”
Judd comes up to us and leans down to speak to Scarlett while untucking his shirt and unbuttoning it. “How is Daddy’s little princess today?”
Damn, I don’t hate this part of my job—watching this gorgeous country music star open his shirt so he can place his growing preemie skin-to-skin against his chest. That fit, muscular chest, complete with the most perfect V at his waist . . . it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. I bet he has a woman waiting for him in every city he tours.
“Miss Scarlett has been a little angel today. Like always.” Such a sweet temperament.
“She’s always an angel when her favorite nurse is on duty.”
The other nurses take good care of Miss prissy pants, but none of them spoil her with hugs and kisses the way I do. And Judd knows that. I’ve never hidden my partiality for Scarlett from him.
I get up from the rocker and hand her to her father. But not before I steal a look at his broad, muscular chest and narrow waist with a trail of dark curls that disappears into the waistband of his jeans. I shouldn’t imagine what that trail leads to, but I can’t help myself; it’s been a year since my divorce. Longer than that since I’ve been touched by a man.
“I have great news. Scarlett’s doing so well that Dr. Wilson says he’ll probably discharge her home next week.”
A wrinkle forms across Judd’s brow. “Is she ready to leave the hospital?”
“She’s consistently maintaining her body temp and oxygen levels. Those are the only things that have been keeping her here.”
The smile I expected to see on Judd’s face is absent. “I’m not ready.”
Most parents have an initial oh shit moment when they realize that they’re about to take full responsibility for a child who once required twenty-four-hour care. And Judd Mathews is no exception.
This is a new situation for me. I’ve discharged plenty of babies to a home with a mother and no father, but never a father without a mother. And this is a particularly sensitive situation; he’s only had eight weeks to adjust to the idea of having a child. Scarlett had already arrived by the time he found out about her.
“Don’t worry. Dr. Wilson isn’t sending her home today. You have time to get everything prepared for her.”
“No, I mean I’m not ready.” It’s pure, unadulterated fear that I see in his eyes. “I . . . I can’t take care of her on my own.”
Scarlett is going to have special needs, but Judd’s parents and sister seem eager to offer their help. I’m not at all worried about his having family support. “I’m certain that your family will lend a hand until you’re settled in and comfortable with caring for her. They aren’t going to abandon you.”
“But they can’t stay forever, and I don’t have a clue what I’ll do when it’s just the two of us.”
“You are her daddy. You’ll figure it out.”
“She deserves more than . . . my figuring it out.” He looks at her for a moment before his eyes return to mine. “I canceled shows so I could be here with her, but I’ll have to go back on the road soon. What then? Am I to take her with me?”
A baby, particularly one born three months prematurely, can’t ride around the country on a tour bus. “Her immune system is too compromised for that kind of travel. She should be around as few people as possible, especially since flu and RSVP season is still upon us.”
“Then you see my dilemma?”
I understand that Judd’s job includes traveling. He wouldn’t be the first father to leave a child at home so he could go out to make a living. “You’re definitely going to need help, but I’m confident that you’ll find a way to make it work. That’s what parents do.”
“My mom and sister will help with Scarlett. I don’t doubt that, but I can’t count on them to raise her in my absence. And I don’t want to. She’s my daughter. My responsibility.”
Judd cradles his hand behind Scarlett’s head and adjusts her body so they’re chest-to-chest. “I’m terrified that she’s going to need more than I’m able to give her.”
Judd still second-guesses his ability to care for Scarlett. I would have fully agreed with any doubt he might have had if you’d asked me eight weeks ago, but he has progressed so much these last two months. I’m amazed by the growth I’ve seen in this man. And it’s my job to encourage him to keep up the good work.
“You’ve come an incredibly long way in a short amount of time. Don’t doubt yourself or your abilities to take care of Scarlett. You’re doing a wonderful job with her.”
Judd looks over at me and chuckles. “Man, I wish we could take you home with us. I’d never have to worry about Scarlett having the best of care. And I’m certain that she wouldn’t mind having her favorite nurse around all of the time.”
“I adore her. I wouldn’t mind taking care of her all of the time.” I’m going to miss her terribly when she’s gone.
Judd stops rocking and looks at me, a crease growing over his brow. “Are you married?”
Are you married? What a sudden and odd change in conversation.
“No.” Not anymore. Not after my husband decided that it was okay for him to date other women while I was working twelve-hour shifts.
“Children?”
“No.” I smile, but it’s a mask to disguise the loss and pain that never leaves my heart.
I desperately wanted to have a baby. I was so happy when I peed on that stick and saw two pink lines, but that baby wasn’t destined to be.
“You love your job and patients. I see it in everything you do for these little babies, but would you ever consider leaving your position here at the hospital?”
I’ve been in neonatal intensive care since I finished nursing school. All I’ve ever wanted to do is take care of sick and preemie babies and make them well. I wouldn’t know how to be anything but what I am. I love my job.
“Leave my position and do what?”
Judd tilts his head and looks at his daughter’s face for a moment before his eyes return to mine. “Be Scarlett’s full-time nanny.”
Holy shit. I think Judd Mathews, one of country music’s biggest stars, just offered me a job.
“I’m a nurse. That’s very different from a nanny.”
“You could be Scarlett’s highly overqualified nanny. And overpaid. I’d triple your salary and provide you with full benefits. Dental and vision included.”
“Mr. Mathews . . .”
He puts his hand up. “You could live with us at my ranch in Mason. You’d have your own bedroom and bathroom next to Scarlett’s nursery. I would give you a car in addition to your salary. The safest vehicle on the road so I’d know that you and Scarlett were safe. All of your living expenses would also be covered. I would take care of everything.”
Triple salary. Full medical, vision, and dental. No rent or car payment. Full living expenses covered.
Judd would take care of everything.
Enticing. As. Hell.
I’ve been struggling financially since the divorce. I’m still paying for the shit Brad charged on my credit cards—gifts for the women he was screwing. I’m not sure how I can say no to Judd’s offer when it would enable me to pay off the debt on my credit cards three times quicker.
“It’s a very tempting offer.”
“I want it to be more than tempting. What’s it going to take to make it irresistible?”
“It’s not that your offer isn’t generous. It absolutely is, but leaving this stable job is a big deal. What would I do if it doesn’t work out?”
“It’ll work out.”
I’ve always been a worrier. I go for the sure thing. “I need time to think about it. And I think you need time to think about it as well. Maybe discuss it with your family and make sure that this arrangement is a good fit for you and Scarlett and not a knee-jerk reaction to finding out that she is coming home.”
“You can take all the time you need, but I already know that you’re the only one I want. And to prove it, I’ll give you a $25,000 sign-on bonus.”
I could pay off all of my credit-card debt in the snap of my fingers and move on. I’d never have to work extra shifts again to pay for the good times Brad had with those other women behind my back.
I don’t need time to think this over. I know what I have to do.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”