Chapter Twelve
Leighton Mitchell
I FEEL JUDD’S ABSENCE EVERY moment of every day. We text, talk, and FaceTime as much as possible, but it’s only a tiny bandage for a gaping wound.
My heart aches for him. And so does my body.
He’s been gone for four weeks. A whole month. Feels like a year.
I try to fill the empty days with things to take my mind off of his absence. Diane sometimes comes to stay with Scarlett so that Ellie and I can go to lunch or shop, but it’s only a temporary distraction. My mind always goes back to him.
I’ve been naughty, buying some pieces of sexy lingerie to wear for Judd when he comes home. At least I hope I get to wear it for him. Being apart for so long could change everything. He may forget the sweet kisses that we shared when another woman is standing in front of him, prepared to give him anything he wants.
I can’t go through that again. I’d prefer to never feel love if it’s going to end in that kind of agony.
My phone alerts me to an incoming call. Hard to believe that my heart still sputters when I see Judd’s name on my phone. “Look, Scarlett. It’s Daddy.”
She’s sitting on my lap, sucking her index and middle fingers—something new that she’s been doing lately.
“Hey Daddy.” I hold Scarlett’s wrist and wave her hand at the phone.
He chuckles. “Hey baby girl. How is Daddy’s princess today?”
“Our angel has been tugging on her left ear for a couple of days. I suspect that she could be getting an ear infection. She hasn’t been cranky, so I don’t think she’s having pain. It could be nothing, so I’m going to give it another day and see what happens before I call to make an appointment with the doctor.”
“She doesn’t look unhappy.”
I hold the phone so Judd can get a better look at her. “Tell Daddy that you’re always happy, even when you don’t feel good, because you’re the best baby ever.”
“Oh, I’m very aware that she’s the best baby ever.”
“She’s sleepy. I kept her up because I knew you’d be calling.”
“I’m sorry it’s later than usual.”
“What city are you in tonight?” They move from one city to the next so quickly that I can’t keep up.
“Atlanta tonight. I go on stage in an hour.”
“Where’s the next show?
“Memphis on Saturday night.”
“At least you get a small break.”
“A day and a half isn’t a break when you’re on the road driving.”
“Well, it’s better than back-to-back nights like you’ve been doing.” Judd is exhausted. I hear it in his voice every time we talk. I see it on his face when we FaceTime. “A good manager doesn’t do that.”
“One more month, Leighton. All I’ve got to do is stick it out a little longer, and then I’ll be home with you and Scarlett.”
“I know, but I’m ready for you to come home now.” More than he knows. I miss him like crazy.
“I’m ready too.”
His eyes leave the camera, and I can tell that he’s looking at the doorway of his bedroom. I may not have ever set foot on his bus, but we’ve been FaceTiming long enough for me to know the complete layout.
“Hold on a minute.”
I think Judd puts his phone to his shirt because the screen goes black. That bothers me. Makes me believe that there’s something he doesn’t want me to see.
“What are you doing on my bus?” he says.
“I wanted to see you before we go on.” It’s a woman’s voice. And that bothers me. A lot.
“I’m FaceTiming with my daughter and her nanny.”
Her nanny. Yes, I am the nanny, but I thought I had become more than that after the special moment that Judd and I shared before he left.
Was it a proposal or profession of love? No.
But it was more than my being only Scarlett’s nanny.
A woman’s face appears on the screen. Blonde. Tons of makeup. Lots of cleavage. And she’s lying on Judd’s bed. “Ohh . . . is this Scarlett? She’s so cute, Judd.”
“Give me my phone, Laura. Now.”
The woman waves at us. “Bye, Scarlett. I can’t wait to come out to the ranch to meet you.”
The screen goes black for a moment before Judd’s face appears again. He’s rubbing his stubbled chin. Silent.
My heart aches. I was so afraid that he would have other women in his bed while he was on the road. And I see now that I wasn’t wrong to have that fear.
“I guess you need to go since you’re going on stage soon.” I move the phone so that it’s only Scarlett’s face on camera. I don’t want him to see the tears in my eyes. “Say bye-bye to Daddy.”
“Leighton . . . that was not what it may have looked like.”
“It’s okay, Judd. I’m just the nanny. You don’t owe me any kind of explanation for anything you choose to do.”
“You aren’t just the nanny. I didn’t mean it that way, and I do owe you an explanation. Laura is one of my backup singers. She was just playing around. There’s nothing between us. Her husband plays bass in my band, and he was standing right here the whole time.”
I’ve been down this road before, heard a man’s lies and believed them, and I don’t know if I can go there again or not. All the leaves on my trust tree have fallen.
But I also can’t make a big deal out of it; it’s not my place. Judd has promised me nothing. We kissed before he left. Not even passionately.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”
Scarlett bucks and fusses, and I’m glad—gives me an excuse to end this FaceTime. “It’s Miss prissy pants’s bedtime. I really need to give her a bottle and put her down so that she doesn’t get off schedule.”
“Okay, but we’re not done with this conversation. I want to talk about it tomorrow.”
I still don’t let Judd see me . . . or my tears. “Say bye-bye to Daddy.”